OMG Freakin' Metal!
Okay, here goes.
Metallica, "Death Magnetic". There are two camps of Metallica fans. There are the fans who will listen to Load and Reload and Garage Inc and the Black Album and go, "This is pretty good," and also likes their older stuff. Then, there are the guys who think Metallica died with the Black Album. Both camps usually hate "St. Anger" for being a giant sack of shit.
Death Magnetic is what St. Anger should have been. Despite being recorded poorly - the album sounds like it was mastered as hot onto tape as possible, compressing the bass and drums into massive tape saturation crunch - it has all the complicatedness of And Justice For All and the thrash/punk spit that the band squandered on St. Anger. They managed to title a song "The Unforgiven III" and make it *not* suck, even though the song starts off with A FUCKING PIANO. Oh yeah, and Kirk can solo again. I still think his soloing is kind of uninspired, but he gets points for having a molestache and curly hair and still being mega-famous. Plus, apparently Lars Ulrich has stopped being such a douche lately, even though his voice sounds very euro-brat and makes me want to punch him in the cock.
Opeth, "Watershed". Opeth's lead singer and lead guitarist, Mikael Akerfeldt, is one of those guys who looks like he's stuck in the Sabbathy Seventies, overgrown mustache and all. That's a good thing, because the new Opeth album is an amazing amalgam of sensitive, gothicky strum metal - complete with bucket loads of everyone's favorite tape-swilling proto-sampler the Mellotron - and snarling death. "Coil" features female duet vocals, and "The Lotus Eater" features a key-bashing prog-rock organ solo. If you listen to [insert death metal band] and also listen to Porcupine Tree, insert this album.
Scar Symmetry, "Holographic Universe". This is one of those CD's named after a book. That always tells you something, doesn't it? If you've ever listened to Fear Factory and said, "wow, this is cool, but...", Scar Symmetry is the "This is cool" part without the "But..". Snarling verses, clean choruses, finger-tap freakout guitar solos, lyrics about humanity succumbing to technological demons... and despite the pummeling ("Holographic Universe" has some shit-stirring bass/drums/guitar blastbeats), you end up humming the songs while washing dishes.
Five Finger Death Punch, "The Way of the Fist". Think groove-metal hardcore with some clean vocals, and a surprising sense of catchy hook. Lyrics that are macho but a bit intelligent. Production that's decent, although you can really hear where they punched in on Pro Tools and I swear their guitar sound is right out of a consumer-level Digitech Genesis 3. Some songs make you go, meh, but then all of a sudden something jumps out and makes you pay attention again.
Textures, "Drawing Circles". Ever listen to Meshuggah? Textures is like that, except all of a sudden you're listening to ambient music that sounds like being baked off your ass feels, and then you're in a fucking jazz fusion song. If I'm not mistaken, Progged Radio (defunct internet prog rock/metal radio station) used to play Textures' first album and people would sit around on their shout board talking about how horrible they were. I agreed. Then again, I also said that the Scion xB was a shit-ugly car and now I drive one. The pieces I've heard of their upcoming album are only an improvement, and Drawing Circles is already a great album.
Metallica, "Death Magnetic". There are two camps of Metallica fans. There are the fans who will listen to Load and Reload and Garage Inc and the Black Album and go, "This is pretty good," and also likes their older stuff. Then, there are the guys who think Metallica died with the Black Album. Both camps usually hate "St. Anger" for being a giant sack of shit.
Death Magnetic is what St. Anger should have been. Despite being recorded poorly - the album sounds like it was mastered as hot onto tape as possible, compressing the bass and drums into massive tape saturation crunch - it has all the complicatedness of And Justice For All and the thrash/punk spit that the band squandered on St. Anger. They managed to title a song "The Unforgiven III" and make it *not* suck, even though the song starts off with A FUCKING PIANO. Oh yeah, and Kirk can solo again. I still think his soloing is kind of uninspired, but he gets points for having a molestache and curly hair and still being mega-famous. Plus, apparently Lars Ulrich has stopped being such a douche lately, even though his voice sounds very euro-brat and makes me want to punch him in the cock.
Opeth, "Watershed". Opeth's lead singer and lead guitarist, Mikael Akerfeldt, is one of those guys who looks like he's stuck in the Sabbathy Seventies, overgrown mustache and all. That's a good thing, because the new Opeth album is an amazing amalgam of sensitive, gothicky strum metal - complete with bucket loads of everyone's favorite tape-swilling proto-sampler the Mellotron - and snarling death. "Coil" features female duet vocals, and "The Lotus Eater" features a key-bashing prog-rock organ solo. If you listen to [insert death metal band] and also listen to Porcupine Tree, insert this album.
Scar Symmetry, "Holographic Universe". This is one of those CD's named after a book. That always tells you something, doesn't it? If you've ever listened to Fear Factory and said, "wow, this is cool, but...", Scar Symmetry is the "This is cool" part without the "But..". Snarling verses, clean choruses, finger-tap freakout guitar solos, lyrics about humanity succumbing to technological demons... and despite the pummeling ("Holographic Universe" has some shit-stirring bass/drums/guitar blastbeats), you end up humming the songs while washing dishes.
Five Finger Death Punch, "The Way of the Fist". Think groove-metal hardcore with some clean vocals, and a surprising sense of catchy hook. Lyrics that are macho but a bit intelligent. Production that's decent, although you can really hear where they punched in on Pro Tools and I swear their guitar sound is right out of a consumer-level Digitech Genesis 3. Some songs make you go, meh, but then all of a sudden something jumps out and makes you pay attention again.
Textures, "Drawing Circles". Ever listen to Meshuggah? Textures is like that, except all of a sudden you're listening to ambient music that sounds like being baked off your ass feels, and then you're in a fucking jazz fusion song. If I'm not mistaken, Progged Radio (defunct internet prog rock/metal radio station) used to play Textures' first album and people would sit around on their shout board talking about how horrible they were. I agreed. Then again, I also said that the Scion xB was a shit-ugly car and now I drive one. The pieces I've heard of their upcoming album are only an improvement, and Drawing Circles is already a great album.