lack of sun
The internet is simply too vast to write anything properly inspiring. When writing a blog, it is like shouting out words to empty sand dunes. “Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair” to an empty room full of dust.
To tell the truth writing a blog always makes me feel terribly inadequate. I have a very simple and unchallenging life. It is a good life. I live comfortably with two of my best friends and my sister and her roommate come and visit often. We drink wine and watch movies (now on our new 47 inch TV).
Financially I am only moderately plagued by the current American fear of job annihilation. I am fighting the good fight to concur my Student Loans. I like my work, and what is more, I am well liked here. I move through life like water through a glass. Easy, I dance through it. I have my struggles, but they are few. I live the good life.
And then I sit down to write my blog and I realize that I have nothing interesting to say. Most of the thoughts that race through my head are silly shallow ones of no importance. Upon writing I try to dig deeper, I look through the pool, past my own reflection. I see the worlds below--worlds of different languages and deeper meaning. How easily I slide above the surface. It disgusts me.
Perhaps I need to find contentment in just being unremarkable. Those writers and artists who touched so many of us lived unhappy lives, for the most part. The path ahead of me is dark.
I don’t know
I just don’t know…
This time of year is hard for me. The lack of sun casts an angry dark shadow upon my heart. I feel like a human solar panel-lacking a charge. It is not when all of my flaws and insignificance comes out in mass. Perhaps all I need is a little Sun.
To tell the truth writing a blog always makes me feel terribly inadequate. I have a very simple and unchallenging life. It is a good life. I live comfortably with two of my best friends and my sister and her roommate come and visit often. We drink wine and watch movies (now on our new 47 inch TV).
Financially I am only moderately plagued by the current American fear of job annihilation. I am fighting the good fight to concur my Student Loans. I like my work, and what is more, I am well liked here. I move through life like water through a glass. Easy, I dance through it. I have my struggles, but they are few. I live the good life.
And then I sit down to write my blog and I realize that I have nothing interesting to say. Most of the thoughts that race through my head are silly shallow ones of no importance. Upon writing I try to dig deeper, I look through the pool, past my own reflection. I see the worlds below--worlds of different languages and deeper meaning. How easily I slide above the surface. It disgusts me.
Perhaps I need to find contentment in just being unremarkable. Those writers and artists who touched so many of us lived unhappy lives, for the most part. The path ahead of me is dark.
I don’t know
I just don’t know…
This time of year is hard for me. The lack of sun casts an angry dark shadow upon my heart. I feel like a human solar panel-lacking a charge. It is not when all of my flaws and insignificance comes out in mass. Perhaps all I need is a little Sun.