Day of Cole!
Hi there! Today was good, mostly. Lexi wanted to go to church, so I met her and Cole at one in Redlands. It was a good service -- or at least what I experienced of it: we had to feed and change Cole in the middle of the service. :) And then he got a little fussy even in the foyer, so I took him outside for a little more bonding time, and he was his usual great self.
I held him a lot throughout the day and even got to sing to him a few times (which I'm finding is great bonding and he loves it -- he's completely at ease when I sing to him, but then again he's more at ease when he can see and hear me anyway), had a veggie sandwich for lunch with Lexi, and overall I think the conversation with Lexi went as well as could be expected. We have to talk about what she means by "reconciling", because as wonderful and surprising it was to hear last night that she finally affirmatively wants to, what she means by that (or possibly, whether or not she means it) is still unknown and needs to be discussed. Of course, I want whatever is best for her. I also want what's best for Cole primarily, because he's an infant and being a parent means being there as much as possible for him. I hope all things work well, and I think they will, no matter what Lexi decides is best for her. I have made my choice, and it's being the best father possible to Cole.
Let's see, oh I put pictures of Cole that Angie printed for me in a few nice frames I found at Target for $2.50 each and have put them with each other straight ahead of my normal line of vision from the head of the bed, so now I have pictures on the wall next to my bed and straight ahead, to go with the pictures of his ultrasound at 5mos. hanging by the light switch next to the door. I can't leave my room without seeing him at least three separate times! :)
Other than this, prayer was excellent again today. For the last two nights, I've gained a brand new view of myself, and since I started involving myself in that practice regularly again I've been at peace -- which is quite a change given my circumstances! I hope you find the truth that you can also be at peace with yourselves, and all life around you.
With compassion,
Michael
I held him a lot throughout the day and even got to sing to him a few times (which I'm finding is great bonding and he loves it -- he's completely at ease when I sing to him, but then again he's more at ease when he can see and hear me anyway), had a veggie sandwich for lunch with Lexi, and overall I think the conversation with Lexi went as well as could be expected. We have to talk about what she means by "reconciling", because as wonderful and surprising it was to hear last night that she finally affirmatively wants to, what she means by that (or possibly, whether or not she means it) is still unknown and needs to be discussed. Of course, I want whatever is best for her. I also want what's best for Cole primarily, because he's an infant and being a parent means being there as much as possible for him. I hope all things work well, and I think they will, no matter what Lexi decides is best for her. I have made my choice, and it's being the best father possible to Cole.
Let's see, oh I put pictures of Cole that Angie printed for me in a few nice frames I found at Target for $2.50 each and have put them with each other straight ahead of my normal line of vision from the head of the bed, so now I have pictures on the wall next to my bed and straight ahead, to go with the pictures of his ultrasound at 5mos. hanging by the light switch next to the door. I can't leave my room without seeing him at least three separate times! :)
Other than this, prayer was excellent again today. For the last two nights, I've gained a brand new view of myself, and since I started involving myself in that practice regularly again I've been at peace -- which is quite a change given my circumstances! I hope you find the truth that you can also be at peace with yourselves, and all life around you.
With compassion,
Michael