ahem...
It has been awhile since I posted here. I'm thanking Apple for saving my password because lord knows there's not way I would have remembered it after all this time.
I just needed to vent a little bit, which is why I've picked this up again. It's (of course) totally uncool now, but that's ok. So I've spent the last half an hour or so looking through my old posts, and I just have to laugh. To look at me now, it would seem that I have a lot of the things that I wanted during the year or so that I was writing here: I live in New York, I have a lovely boyfriend, I graduated from college, etc... I'm actually really proud of myself. I've been through a lot and I'd like to think that I handled it well.
I'm just having a bit of an issue right now with who other than myself. I'm in a relationship with someone I really, really care about and I keep worrying that I'm going to fuck it up royally. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect. We live about 2,400 miles apart. I just don't want to hurt him. I'm not saying that I'm doing anything or that I WOULD do anything to mess it up, but I'm not perfect and I've made very big mistakes in the past. I just want to shake myself and yell, "What are you doing?? He's a wonderful guy!!!!". I'm just not ready for that 'settled-down' place yet. He's not pushing it on me, but I'm scared because I can really see a future with him, but I don't know if I've sowed my wild oats yet. Is that bad??
Ugh, I'm a mess.
I just needed to vent a little bit, which is why I've picked this up again. It's (of course) totally uncool now, but that's ok. So I've spent the last half an hour or so looking through my old posts, and I just have to laugh. To look at me now, it would seem that I have a lot of the things that I wanted during the year or so that I was writing here: I live in New York, I have a lovely boyfriend, I graduated from college, etc... I'm actually really proud of myself. I've been through a lot and I'd like to think that I handled it well.
I'm just having a bit of an issue right now with who other than myself. I'm in a relationship with someone I really, really care about and I keep worrying that I'm going to fuck it up royally. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect. We live about 2,400 miles apart. I just don't want to hurt him. I'm not saying that I'm doing anything or that I WOULD do anything to mess it up, but I'm not perfect and I've made very big mistakes in the past. I just want to shake myself and yell, "What are you doing?? He's a wonderful guy!!!!". I'm just not ready for that 'settled-down' place yet. He's not pushing it on me, but I'm scared because I can really see a future with him, but I don't know if I've sowed my wild oats yet. Is that bad??
Ugh, I'm a mess.