I'm feeling the weight of the world.....
So I haven't updated for a while I guess I'll do a quick one now. Things have been going ok I guess. For some reason I've been feeling down for the past few days. There is really no reason for it, just been feeling down. I ended up staying in bed for like 4 hours yesterday after I woke up simply because I could think of no reason to get out of bed. Probably would have done the same thing today if I didn't have to go to work. I guess I'm just getting tired of trying to be happy all the time. Oh well, fuck it. Over the past few days my view of the world has returned to a fatalistic one. Existence exists only to exist, right? So fuck it. Nothing matters, its all bullshit. I suppose the only reason anyone is alive is because its our instinct to try to stay tha way as long as we can. But why? Whats the use? Is there a God? Does it even matter? It seems to me that he would only exist to exist as well. So nothing has a purpose if you look far enough. Its the way it is because thats the way it is. "Love is not forever, friendship is not forever. So when you need someone to count on, count on nobody and nobody will let you down." Sad but true. Sooner or later everyone goes away. They die, move, tell you that they don't love you anymore, tell you that there is someone else who they love more than you. Everyone goes away in the end. The warmth that you once had always turns to a cold that chills you to the bone. I think I'm going to hide under a rock for a while or something. I shouldn't be around people in this state of mind....