The Misadventures of Arnaud G. Vasquez, Animal Expert
Title: The Misadventures of Arnaud G. Vasquez, Animal Expert; Today's Episode: The Jude Maverick Trouser Snake
Fandom: Wild ARMs 4
Pairing: Jude/Arnaud
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: WA and all its characters are the property of Media Vision.
Summary: PURE. FUCKING. CRACK. Join Arnaud, a restaurant owner turned not-so-famed animal expert as he tracks his most dangerous and elusive prey yet - the trouser snake.
This is for fufuberrysoda, and is the result of a conversation about Arnaud being a closeted gay man. I decided that since his restaurant is on the verge of closing, he'll have to move to Halim with his daughter and live in Jude's cabin. Except his daughter would stay with Yulie since Arnaud would be Jude's "assistant." Then we started making jokes about him becoming an assistant animal handler, and, being the perverts that we are, the term "trouser snake" was brought up.
I personally hate the term, but the glorious crack it inspired had to be written. The world cannot go without the WTFery that is Arnaud the Amazing Animal Expert. This was originally going to be a short drabble with random nature show comments thrown in, but somehow it became THIS. *dies*
We find our hero deep in the woods near the frontier village of Halim. He has visited this forbidding terrain countless times, but today he goes high into the mountains to track a very unique and elusive creature - the trouser snake.
The trouser snake is an eagerly sought after animal, one of the few creatures that can be found in all areas of Filgaia. The sheer amount of trouser snake species is too numerous to name; it is doubtful that animal experts will ever be to identify them all. The most famous is the Kresnik Ahtreide species. Regrettably, the Kresnik species is now extinct due to over hunting and mistreatment. The last surviving Kresnik was seen in the infamous Illsveil Prison.
Arnaud is no stranger to this particular animal, having handled a variety of species. Although he once tracked a Kresnik, he did not get an opportunity to handle it directly. He has often said that this is among his greatest regrets in his short yet eventful career.
Arnaud’s prey on this day is one he has encountered many times over the last several months, the elusive Jude Maverick trouser snake. You may remember the outcome of his last encounter with this animal, which ended in disaster. Our hero made the mistake of being too rough with his target, turning the normally gentle and friendly creature into a deadly enemy. Attempts to re-enter the animal’s habitat were met with resistance.
Today, though, Arnaud is confident that he will succeed in making contact with the creature. He has now reached its habitat, an area that he is quite familiar with. He has actually lived with the creature in the past in an attempt to earn its trust. Watch as he makes his latest attempt to enter…………
Arnaud eased open the door of the cabin, taking a cautious step inside. When he got no response, he breathed a silent sigh of relief. He entered the cabin’s main room fully, silently shutting the door behind him. A quick glance verified the fact that Jude was nowhere to be seen.
The trouser snake’s habitat appears to be empty. However, this is of no matter to Arnaud. He does what any good animal expert would do: he waits.
He flopped down on the sofa, planning his next move. In an uncharacteristic show of bitchiness, Jude had refused to see him lately. Just because Arnaud had accidentally bitten him the last time they’d been in bed together. Hard.
He winced as he remembered Jude’s shriek. Okay, so there had been a bruise. And he had broken the skin. And it was in a very sensitive, very embarrassing spot. But that did not give Jude the right to cut him off completely. Especially on their last night together before the younger man went deep into the mountains for one of his “care for rare and elusive animal trips that Arnaud can’t come on because he has zero forest ranger skills and was nearly attacked by a bear the last time he tried to help”.
Arnaud wasn’t a sex fiend; he’d gone without it before. But not for three bloody weeks. He was a grown man with needs, damnit. That was why he was going to bite the bullet and apologize to Jude the minute he got home. Never mind the fact that he still thought he hadn’t done anything wrong; Jude should be the one to apologize since he was overreacting. But when forced to choose between his sex life and his pride, Arnaud made the natural choice.
So. As soon as Jude came back, he would apologize. He’d admit he made a mistake, Jude would forgive him, and then he’d tackle him to the floor, tear off his clothes, and ravish him.
Arnaud shook his head. No, first they’d have a nice, long talk to make sure everything was all right between them. Then he’d tackle Jude to the floor, tear off his clothes, and ravish him.
Why did that scenario run through his head every time he thought about his apology? It was a sign; going without sex for too long was dangerous to a man’s health. Who knew, maybe Jude was having constant sexual fantasies about him. Hmmmm, maybe he should be waiting naked.
The serene quiet is suddenly interrupted by a sign of life from deeper in the snake’s habitat. The creature is here, in hiding! Our hero is taken by surprise, having let himself be lulled into false security by the silence.
The sound of whistling from deeper in the cabin made Arnaud jump and nearly topple off the sofa. It was only through sheer luck that he managed to bite back a scream of surprise. Which was a good thing; his screams had a distinctive girly sound to them. Hell, even Raquel had had a manlier scream than him.
But when running water reached his ears, he breathed a sigh of relief. Whew, if Jude was in the shower, he wouldn’t see his boyfriend having a mild panic attack in his living room. This was perfect; it would give him a few minutes to compose his thoughts while the younger man showered -
And he would be naked.
Arnaud gulped, all rational thought promptly leaving his head as he thought about what exactly his lover was doing. Mmmmm, Jude naked…….water running over his lean body, smooth skin being scrubbed clean, and he was probably using the shower gel Arnaud liked………
This was simply too much for the magic user’s sexually frustrated mind to take. To hell with waiting; he was going to give Jude a piece of mind right now. The sooner they got the talking over with, the sooner they could get to the make up sex.
Arnaud decides to go deeper into the creature’s habitat in hopes of making contact. He quietly moves toward his target, desperately trying to contain his excitement.
Aha! Look here - the creature has left its guard down. It takes no notice of Arnaud as he approaches. He now has it in his sight.
Jude had left the door partially open, obviously not realizing he wasn’t alone in his cabin. Arnaud pushed it open further, fully prepared to let him have it. The shower curtain hadn’t been pulled shut all the way, letting him catch a glimpse of Jude’s bare skin. His step faltered. Think nonsexy thoughts, Arnaud, think nonsexy thoughts. Keep your eyes up, focus on his upper body. His upper body……………
His mental pep talk would have been effective if Jude hadn’t chosen that exact moment to turn around.
At last we catch a glimpse of this elusive creature! Even in a relaxed state, the Jude Maverick trouser snake is truly an impressive specimen. Don’t let its calm manner fool you, this creature is capable of amazing strength and speed. Arnaud is entranced by this magnificent animal, as any lover of the species would be.
Whatever Arnaud had been planning to say died on his lips as his eyes landed directly on Jude’s cock. The sight of his lover naked didn’t normally render him silent and motionless, but then again he hadn’t usually gone three weeks without seeing said lover. Fortunately for him, Jude had his eyes closed as he massaged shampoo into his scalp. Arnaud only stared for a few seconds longer before he moved. Ducking back into the hallway, he all but tore off his shirt. Talking? What good would talking do? Jude would be much easier to convince if they were both naked. And besides, he had to be just as frustrated as Arnaud.
Yes. Naked was good. All the world’s problems could be solved naked.
The trouser snake is unaware of our hero’s presence as it goes about its bathing habits. This is a good thing for Arnaud, as it allows him to approach undetected.
Oh my! Look at this! The creature is emitting a mating call. This is amazing; the Jude Maverick is a species that rarely exhibits such behavior with an audience.
When Jude began whistling again, Arnaud lost his balance and fell against the wall as he desperately tried to remove his pants. It wasn’t that he found whistling particularly sexy, but it was Jude whistling. Naked Jude whistling. Naked Jude who he hadn’t been with for three weeks whistling. Asleivmeirueifjdeifjdkjfsdofujeofj
With a grunt of effort, he finally freed himself from the confines of the hateful pants. His boxers soon followed, and with a single purpose in mind he strode into Jude’s bathroom.
Arnaud is moving directly into the snake’s personal space; the last time he attempted this he was met with open hostility. This is a risky move, but our hero did not acquire his reputation without taking risks.
Jude’s eyes popped open in surprise as the shower curtain was all but ripped aside. He cursed as shampoo flowed directly onto his eyes, temporarily blinding him. Moving his face underneath the flow of water, he addressed his older lover.
“Arnaud? What the hell are you - mmph!”
The snake has spotted Arnaud! With no more use for stealth, our hero initiates direct contact.
Taking no notice of Jude’s surprised and blind state, Arnaud pressed him against the wall. He kissed him firmly, effectively cutting the redhead off in mid-sentence.
Success! The trouser snake has accepted Arnaud into its territory. Let’s watch as they interact.
----------------------------------------
Jude panted against Arnaud’s mouth as the older man’s hand moved up and down his cock in a steady rhythm. Although he hadn’t initially been pleased to have the brunette burst into his bathroom and molest him after indirectly blinding him with shampoo, he certainly wasn’t complaining now. As much as hated to admit it, he had missed Arnaud. And if the other’s behavior was any indication, he’d been missed in return.
Our hero and the snake are getting along wonderfully; the creature clearly welcomes him into its territory. Arnaud’s vast experience with the species is apparent here; he knows exactly what to do in order to get the creature to respond.
Arnaud nipped at side of Jude’s neck, wringing a strangled groan out of the younger man’s throat.
The snake appears tense in its excited state. You can see that when its emotions are running high, it expands itself to a significantly larger size. There is a strong possibility that it will release its spit. Fortunately for the viewer, Arnaud is an expert at getting the trouser snake to do just this.
Watch out, Arnaud! There it goes!
Jude cried out as his orgasm slammed into him, coming onto Arnaud’s hand. He flattened his hands against the shower wall to stay upright as Arnaud let go, running his hand under the water to clean it off.
Fortunately, the Jude’s spit is non-venomous.
“It’s been……way too long………”, he gasped, looking up at his lover.
Arnaud grinned as he pressed his body against Jude’s once more, rubbing his erect cock against the younger man’s hip.
“Tell me about it.” He moved in, intending to kiss the redhead. He wasn’t expecting Jude to grab his shoulders and abruptly reverse their positions, holding Arnaud in place. Jude looked up at him, his lips curling into a devious grin.
“It’s your turn.”
--------------------------------------
Arnaud is an exceptionally skilled animal expert. He has taken it upon himself to encourage the trouser snake into exhibiting a variety of behaviors for our cameras. Here, we see the snake engaged in the hunting and eating of prey. Let’s watch……
Arnaud writhed on Jude’s bed, struggling in vain to break free from the redhead’s firm grip on his thighs. “Jude, come on………”
Jude’s only response was to smirk at him. “Yeah, yeah, I will.” He seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in watching Arnaud squirm helplessly underneath him. His eyes held a predatory glint in them as he stared at his lover. It wasn’t often that Jude got that look in his eye, even though he was the dominant one in their relationship. He was usually a much more playful lover, but on the few instances where he wasn’t…………
Arnaud would likely be screaming loud enough to wake the dead.
The trouser snake has located its prey. The Jude stalks it calmly, confident that its target will not escape. Indeed, the prey Arnaud has provided seems to be literally frozen in its tracks. It is fully aware that it is being hunted, yet it is making no effort to break free.
“Damnit, Jude, hurry up,” Arnaud demanded, propping himself up on his elbows. His breath came in harsh gasps as he glared at Jude, who had positioned himself between Arnaud’s legs. However, Jude didn’t respond, merely staring at Arnaud’s cock as if he couldn’t decide what to do with it.
The magic user growled, reaching forward. “Fine, I’ll do it myse-“
Before he could finish his sentence, Jude finally moved forward.
The snake strikes! It pounces with no mercy and incredible speed. Its helpless prey has no opportunity to escape, and it is now fully at the creature’s mercy. A little known fact is that the two halves of a snake’s jaw are not fully attached, allowing it to open its mouth wide enough to swallow its prey whole.
“JUDE!”
Some snakes have a venomous bite, which they use to kill their prey before eating it. Other snakes kill their prey by constriction.
Jude wrapped his lips firmly around Arnaud’s cock, causing the older man to gasp and arch his back. “Oh……oh god, Jude………”
Still others swallow their prey whole and alive.
Deep throating Arnaud brought forth a string of incomprehensible syllables. Jude had to hold his lover’s hips to the bed in order to keep from choking. It wasn’t difficult to get Arnaud flustered, especially during sex. Which made Jude’s job as a lover incredibly easy.
Not that he was complaining, mind you.
The snake keeps its tongue constantly in motion.
“Ah…ah……fuck, right there………”
The bite of non-venomous snakes is usually harmless because their teeth are designed for grabbing and holding, rather than tearing or inflicting a deep puncture wound.
A light nip made Arnaud grip the sheets hard enough to turn his knuckles white. “J…Jude……almost……there……”
Unlike the gaits of limbed animals, which form a continuum, each mode of snake locomotion is discrete and distinct from the others, and transitions between modes are abrupt.
Jude pulled his mouth away, licking his lips. Arnaud lifted his head, breathing hard as he stared up at him. “Why did you stop?”
Jude grasped Arnaud’s thighs, moving his legs until they were on top of the redhead’s shoulders. He peered down at the magic user, taking a secret delight in his flushed skin. “I’m not done with you yet.”
It is not uncommon for the trouser snake to engage in burrowing. When it burrows, it buries itself in the nearest warm, dark area.
Arnaud didn’t think he could scream louder than he had after being unexpectedly deep throated. As he often did, though, Jude proved him wrong.
Again.
After eating, snakes become dormant while the process of digestion takes place. Digestion is an intense activity, especially after consumption of very large prey.
The room was quiet as its two occupants lay in a tangled pile of limbs on the large, comfortable bed. Arnaud lay on his back, a position he’d been occupying for quite a while. At this particular moment, however, all the tension was gone from his body. Jude was sprawled on top of him, having fallen into a light doze shortly after they’d finished.
Arnaud yawned, shifting slightly. Jude mumbled something in his sleep, but didn’t move from his relaxed position. He was probably going to end up drooling all over Arnaud’s chest before the night was over, but the magic user didn’t care in the least. If he had to choose between a drool-covered chest and cherished lover, or a drool-free chest and an empty, lonely bed, he’d choose the former every time.
With this thought in mind, he left himself drift into sleep.
And here is where we end today's episode. We hope you have enjoyed Arnaud's adventures while he has tracked the Jude Maverick trouser snake. All hostility between the creature and our hero appears to be gone, and the snake has accepted him into his habitat. The subject of our next episode is unknown, as Arnaud will be staying in the trouser snake's habitat in order to conduct an extensive and thorough study.
Until next time........
----------------------------------
Some of the nature show comments were taken from the Wikipedia article on snakes. I was reading it to get ideas for snake-related innuendos, but if you're reading it with a perverted mind it's actually full of unintentionally hilarious dialogue. My favorites that didn't make it into the story were:
-"Primitive groups among the modern snakes, pythons and boas, have vestigial hind limbs: tiny, clawed digits known as anal spurs which are used to grasp during mating."
-"Leptotyphlopidae and Typhlopidae are other examples where remnants of the pelvic girdle are still present, sometimes appearing as horny projections when visible."
I died laughing. XDDDDDDD
Fandom: Wild ARMs 4
Pairing: Jude/Arnaud
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: WA and all its characters are the property of Media Vision.
Summary: PURE. FUCKING. CRACK. Join Arnaud, a restaurant owner turned not-so-famed animal expert as he tracks his most dangerous and elusive prey yet - the trouser snake.
This is for fufuberrysoda, and is the result of a conversation about Arnaud being a closeted gay man. I decided that since his restaurant is on the verge of closing, he'll have to move to Halim with his daughter and live in Jude's cabin. Except his daughter would stay with Yulie since Arnaud would be Jude's "assistant." Then we started making jokes about him becoming an assistant animal handler, and, being the perverts that we are, the term "trouser snake" was brought up.
I personally hate the term, but the glorious crack it inspired had to be written. The world cannot go without the WTFery that is Arnaud the Amazing Animal Expert. This was originally going to be a short drabble with random nature show comments thrown in, but somehow it became THIS. *dies*
We find our hero deep in the woods near the frontier village of Halim. He has visited this forbidding terrain countless times, but today he goes high into the mountains to track a very unique and elusive creature - the trouser snake.
The trouser snake is an eagerly sought after animal, one of the few creatures that can be found in all areas of Filgaia. The sheer amount of trouser snake species is too numerous to name; it is doubtful that animal experts will ever be to identify them all. The most famous is the Kresnik Ahtreide species. Regrettably, the Kresnik species is now extinct due to over hunting and mistreatment. The last surviving Kresnik was seen in the infamous Illsveil Prison.
Arnaud is no stranger to this particular animal, having handled a variety of species. Although he once tracked a Kresnik, he did not get an opportunity to handle it directly. He has often said that this is among his greatest regrets in his short yet eventful career.
Arnaud’s prey on this day is one he has encountered many times over the last several months, the elusive Jude Maverick trouser snake. You may remember the outcome of his last encounter with this animal, which ended in disaster. Our hero made the mistake of being too rough with his target, turning the normally gentle and friendly creature into a deadly enemy. Attempts to re-enter the animal’s habitat were met with resistance.
Today, though, Arnaud is confident that he will succeed in making contact with the creature. He has now reached its habitat, an area that he is quite familiar with. He has actually lived with the creature in the past in an attempt to earn its trust. Watch as he makes his latest attempt to enter…………
Arnaud eased open the door of the cabin, taking a cautious step inside. When he got no response, he breathed a silent sigh of relief. He entered the cabin’s main room fully, silently shutting the door behind him. A quick glance verified the fact that Jude was nowhere to be seen.
The trouser snake’s habitat appears to be empty. However, this is of no matter to Arnaud. He does what any good animal expert would do: he waits.
He flopped down on the sofa, planning his next move. In an uncharacteristic show of bitchiness, Jude had refused to see him lately. Just because Arnaud had accidentally bitten him the last time they’d been in bed together. Hard.
He winced as he remembered Jude’s shriek. Okay, so there had been a bruise. And he had broken the skin. And it was in a very sensitive, very embarrassing spot. But that did not give Jude the right to cut him off completely. Especially on their last night together before the younger man went deep into the mountains for one of his “care for rare and elusive animal trips that Arnaud can’t come on because he has zero forest ranger skills and was nearly attacked by a bear the last time he tried to help”.
Arnaud wasn’t a sex fiend; he’d gone without it before. But not for three bloody weeks. He was a grown man with needs, damnit. That was why he was going to bite the bullet and apologize to Jude the minute he got home. Never mind the fact that he still thought he hadn’t done anything wrong; Jude should be the one to apologize since he was overreacting. But when forced to choose between his sex life and his pride, Arnaud made the natural choice.
So. As soon as Jude came back, he would apologize. He’d admit he made a mistake, Jude would forgive him, and then he’d tackle him to the floor, tear off his clothes, and ravish him.
Arnaud shook his head. No, first they’d have a nice, long talk to make sure everything was all right between them. Then he’d tackle Jude to the floor, tear off his clothes, and ravish him.
Why did that scenario run through his head every time he thought about his apology? It was a sign; going without sex for too long was dangerous to a man’s health. Who knew, maybe Jude was having constant sexual fantasies about him. Hmmmm, maybe he should be waiting naked.
The serene quiet is suddenly interrupted by a sign of life from deeper in the snake’s habitat. The creature is here, in hiding! Our hero is taken by surprise, having let himself be lulled into false security by the silence.
The sound of whistling from deeper in the cabin made Arnaud jump and nearly topple off the sofa. It was only through sheer luck that he managed to bite back a scream of surprise. Which was a good thing; his screams had a distinctive girly sound to them. Hell, even Raquel had had a manlier scream than him.
But when running water reached his ears, he breathed a sigh of relief. Whew, if Jude was in the shower, he wouldn’t see his boyfriend having a mild panic attack in his living room. This was perfect; it would give him a few minutes to compose his thoughts while the younger man showered -
And he would be naked.
Arnaud gulped, all rational thought promptly leaving his head as he thought about what exactly his lover was doing. Mmmmm, Jude naked…….water running over his lean body, smooth skin being scrubbed clean, and he was probably using the shower gel Arnaud liked………
This was simply too much for the magic user’s sexually frustrated mind to take. To hell with waiting; he was going to give Jude a piece of mind right now. The sooner they got the talking over with, the sooner they could get to the make up sex.
Arnaud decides to go deeper into the creature’s habitat in hopes of making contact. He quietly moves toward his target, desperately trying to contain his excitement.
Aha! Look here - the creature has left its guard down. It takes no notice of Arnaud as he approaches. He now has it in his sight.
Jude had left the door partially open, obviously not realizing he wasn’t alone in his cabin. Arnaud pushed it open further, fully prepared to let him have it. The shower curtain hadn’t been pulled shut all the way, letting him catch a glimpse of Jude’s bare skin. His step faltered. Think nonsexy thoughts, Arnaud, think nonsexy thoughts. Keep your eyes up, focus on his upper body. His upper body……………
His mental pep talk would have been effective if Jude hadn’t chosen that exact moment to turn around.
At last we catch a glimpse of this elusive creature! Even in a relaxed state, the Jude Maverick trouser snake is truly an impressive specimen. Don’t let its calm manner fool you, this creature is capable of amazing strength and speed. Arnaud is entranced by this magnificent animal, as any lover of the species would be.
Whatever Arnaud had been planning to say died on his lips as his eyes landed directly on Jude’s cock. The sight of his lover naked didn’t normally render him silent and motionless, but then again he hadn’t usually gone three weeks without seeing said lover. Fortunately for him, Jude had his eyes closed as he massaged shampoo into his scalp. Arnaud only stared for a few seconds longer before he moved. Ducking back into the hallway, he all but tore off his shirt. Talking? What good would talking do? Jude would be much easier to convince if they were both naked. And besides, he had to be just as frustrated as Arnaud.
Yes. Naked was good. All the world’s problems could be solved naked.
The trouser snake is unaware of our hero’s presence as it goes about its bathing habits. This is a good thing for Arnaud, as it allows him to approach undetected.
Oh my! Look at this! The creature is emitting a mating call. This is amazing; the Jude Maverick is a species that rarely exhibits such behavior with an audience.
When Jude began whistling again, Arnaud lost his balance and fell against the wall as he desperately tried to remove his pants. It wasn’t that he found whistling particularly sexy, but it was Jude whistling. Naked Jude whistling. Naked Jude who he hadn’t been with for three weeks whistling. Asleivmeirueifjdeifjdkjfsdofujeofj
With a grunt of effort, he finally freed himself from the confines of the hateful pants. His boxers soon followed, and with a single purpose in mind he strode into Jude’s bathroom.
Arnaud is moving directly into the snake’s personal space; the last time he attempted this he was met with open hostility. This is a risky move, but our hero did not acquire his reputation without taking risks.
Jude’s eyes popped open in surprise as the shower curtain was all but ripped aside. He cursed as shampoo flowed directly onto his eyes, temporarily blinding him. Moving his face underneath the flow of water, he addressed his older lover.
“Arnaud? What the hell are you - mmph!”
The snake has spotted Arnaud! With no more use for stealth, our hero initiates direct contact.
Taking no notice of Jude’s surprised and blind state, Arnaud pressed him against the wall. He kissed him firmly, effectively cutting the redhead off in mid-sentence.
Success! The trouser snake has accepted Arnaud into its territory. Let’s watch as they interact.
----------------------------------------
Jude panted against Arnaud’s mouth as the older man’s hand moved up and down his cock in a steady rhythm. Although he hadn’t initially been pleased to have the brunette burst into his bathroom and molest him after indirectly blinding him with shampoo, he certainly wasn’t complaining now. As much as hated to admit it, he had missed Arnaud. And if the other’s behavior was any indication, he’d been missed in return.
Our hero and the snake are getting along wonderfully; the creature clearly welcomes him into its territory. Arnaud’s vast experience with the species is apparent here; he knows exactly what to do in order to get the creature to respond.
Arnaud nipped at side of Jude’s neck, wringing a strangled groan out of the younger man’s throat.
The snake appears tense in its excited state. You can see that when its emotions are running high, it expands itself to a significantly larger size. There is a strong possibility that it will release its spit. Fortunately for the viewer, Arnaud is an expert at getting the trouser snake to do just this.
Watch out, Arnaud! There it goes!
Jude cried out as his orgasm slammed into him, coming onto Arnaud’s hand. He flattened his hands against the shower wall to stay upright as Arnaud let go, running his hand under the water to clean it off.
Fortunately, the Jude’s spit is non-venomous.
“It’s been……way too long………”, he gasped, looking up at his lover.
Arnaud grinned as he pressed his body against Jude’s once more, rubbing his erect cock against the younger man’s hip.
“Tell me about it.” He moved in, intending to kiss the redhead. He wasn’t expecting Jude to grab his shoulders and abruptly reverse their positions, holding Arnaud in place. Jude looked up at him, his lips curling into a devious grin.
“It’s your turn.”
--------------------------------------
Arnaud is an exceptionally skilled animal expert. He has taken it upon himself to encourage the trouser snake into exhibiting a variety of behaviors for our cameras. Here, we see the snake engaged in the hunting and eating of prey. Let’s watch……
Arnaud writhed on Jude’s bed, struggling in vain to break free from the redhead’s firm grip on his thighs. “Jude, come on………”
Jude’s only response was to smirk at him. “Yeah, yeah, I will.” He seemed to be taking far too much pleasure in watching Arnaud squirm helplessly underneath him. His eyes held a predatory glint in them as he stared at his lover. It wasn’t often that Jude got that look in his eye, even though he was the dominant one in their relationship. He was usually a much more playful lover, but on the few instances where he wasn’t…………
Arnaud would likely be screaming loud enough to wake the dead.
The trouser snake has located its prey. The Jude stalks it calmly, confident that its target will not escape. Indeed, the prey Arnaud has provided seems to be literally frozen in its tracks. It is fully aware that it is being hunted, yet it is making no effort to break free.
“Damnit, Jude, hurry up,” Arnaud demanded, propping himself up on his elbows. His breath came in harsh gasps as he glared at Jude, who had positioned himself between Arnaud’s legs. However, Jude didn’t respond, merely staring at Arnaud’s cock as if he couldn’t decide what to do with it.
The magic user growled, reaching forward. “Fine, I’ll do it myse-“
Before he could finish his sentence, Jude finally moved forward.
The snake strikes! It pounces with no mercy and incredible speed. Its helpless prey has no opportunity to escape, and it is now fully at the creature’s mercy. A little known fact is that the two halves of a snake’s jaw are not fully attached, allowing it to open its mouth wide enough to swallow its prey whole.
“JUDE!”
Some snakes have a venomous bite, which they use to kill their prey before eating it. Other snakes kill their prey by constriction.
Jude wrapped his lips firmly around Arnaud’s cock, causing the older man to gasp and arch his back. “Oh……oh god, Jude………”
Still others swallow their prey whole and alive.
Deep throating Arnaud brought forth a string of incomprehensible syllables. Jude had to hold his lover’s hips to the bed in order to keep from choking. It wasn’t difficult to get Arnaud flustered, especially during sex. Which made Jude’s job as a lover incredibly easy.
Not that he was complaining, mind you.
The snake keeps its tongue constantly in motion.
“Ah…ah……fuck, right there………”
The bite of non-venomous snakes is usually harmless because their teeth are designed for grabbing and holding, rather than tearing or inflicting a deep puncture wound.
A light nip made Arnaud grip the sheets hard enough to turn his knuckles white. “J…Jude……almost……there……”
Unlike the gaits of limbed animals, which form a continuum, each mode of snake locomotion is discrete and distinct from the others, and transitions between modes are abrupt.
Jude pulled his mouth away, licking his lips. Arnaud lifted his head, breathing hard as he stared up at him. “Why did you stop?”
Jude grasped Arnaud’s thighs, moving his legs until they were on top of the redhead’s shoulders. He peered down at the magic user, taking a secret delight in his flushed skin. “I’m not done with you yet.”
It is not uncommon for the trouser snake to engage in burrowing. When it burrows, it buries itself in the nearest warm, dark area.
Arnaud didn’t think he could scream louder than he had after being unexpectedly deep throated. As he often did, though, Jude proved him wrong.
Again.
After eating, snakes become dormant while the process of digestion takes place. Digestion is an intense activity, especially after consumption of very large prey.
The room was quiet as its two occupants lay in a tangled pile of limbs on the large, comfortable bed. Arnaud lay on his back, a position he’d been occupying for quite a while. At this particular moment, however, all the tension was gone from his body. Jude was sprawled on top of him, having fallen into a light doze shortly after they’d finished.
Arnaud yawned, shifting slightly. Jude mumbled something in his sleep, but didn’t move from his relaxed position. He was probably going to end up drooling all over Arnaud’s chest before the night was over, but the magic user didn’t care in the least. If he had to choose between a drool-covered chest and cherished lover, or a drool-free chest and an empty, lonely bed, he’d choose the former every time.
With this thought in mind, he left himself drift into sleep.
And here is where we end today's episode. We hope you have enjoyed Arnaud's adventures while he has tracked the Jude Maverick trouser snake. All hostility between the creature and our hero appears to be gone, and the snake has accepted him into his habitat. The subject of our next episode is unknown, as Arnaud will be staying in the trouser snake's habitat in order to conduct an extensive and thorough study.
Until next time........
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Some of the nature show comments were taken from the Wikipedia article on snakes. I was reading it to get ideas for snake-related innuendos, but if you're reading it with a perverted mind it's actually full of unintentionally hilarious dialogue. My favorites that didn't make it into the story were:
-"Primitive groups among the modern snakes, pythons and boas, have vestigial hind limbs: tiny, clawed digits known as anal spurs which are used to grasp during mating."
-"Leptotyphlopidae and Typhlopidae are other examples where remnants of the pelvic girdle are still present, sometimes appearing as horny projections when visible."
I died laughing. XDDDDDDD