Other people's weddings. Self pity alert.
Weddings are lovely aren't they? All that love and joy and wonder and into the great unknown, together. I had a most pleasant time. Many people made me laugh with the clever workings of their amazing brains, good food, great speeches, beautiful women, beautiful men, some very silly dancing.
Yet somehow I still end up sitting in a toilet cubicle breathing hard and trying to make myself accept that it's never going to be my turn, because the sooner I do that the sooner I will stop having moments like that.
I await the inevitability of 62 cats.
I see that the tall, the short, the fat, the thin, the pretty, the plain, all pair up. But not me. So it's not that I'm plain or a little wobbly these days, it can only be something more fundamental, more innate. I wonder if I give off a scent of brokenness.
My ambivalence to love is now spectacular. I do not, do, do not, do, do not, want.
Ah, that feels better. I remember why I have an online journal now.
Yet somehow I still end up sitting in a toilet cubicle breathing hard and trying to make myself accept that it's never going to be my turn, because the sooner I do that the sooner I will stop having moments like that.
I await the inevitability of 62 cats.
I see that the tall, the short, the fat, the thin, the pretty, the plain, all pair up. But not me. So it's not that I'm plain or a little wobbly these days, it can only be something more fundamental, more innate. I wonder if I give off a scent of brokenness.
My ambivalence to love is now spectacular. I do not, do, do not, do, do not, want.
Ah, that feels better. I remember why I have an online journal now.