Unusual Procedures

[biigbanng]

Title: Unusual Procedures
Pairing: Chanyeol/ Baekhyun
Genre: romance, fluff
Word Count: 7422
Summary: Chanyeol makes the mistake of agreeing to write letters that Jongin can use to woo Baekhyun. He is now stuck between his best friend and his long time crush.



❤

"Hyung, what are you reading today?" Jongin asks with his mouth full.

Chanyeol looks up and scowls at him. "Close your mouth when you're eating."

Jongin ignores him, and raises an eyebrow as he eyes the book questioningly.

Chanyeol has a great friend; it is just so easy to hang out with each other. Jongin is lazy and quiet while Chanyeol is smart and more loud-spoken. They complement each other in that way, and Chanyeol finds their relationship comfortable. This of course, would have been impossible if they had not met in first year; Jongin was lazing around under a tree at lunch and ignored the bell indicating that class was starting in five minutes. Chanyeol, who was passing by, figured that he should wake him up so that he wouldn't be late. Of course, at that time Jongin was not pleased to be woken up but when he looked up and saw the sincere eyes looking down at him, he just smiled lazily and mustered a ‘thanks’ behind a yawn. Since then Chanyeol came by after lunch every day to wake Jongin up, who never mentioned that he preferred sleeping through class anyway. Soon he'd pass by before lunch, and they would spend lunch with Jongin dozing off and Chanyeol reading ahead in his textbook as he ate lunch.

Over the years, they shifted from the outdoors to the cafeteria, where Jongin replaced sleeping with stuffing his face up.

"Cyrano de Bergerac," he answers Jongin’s prior query, knowing that the younger male would not know about it anyway. This was a book Chanyeol always reads, he just feels like he could relate in so many ways and even though he knows how it ends it hurts every time. That is because people like Cyrano never get the happy ending they deserve. This is also an added bonus to the beautiful verses written. Chanyeol wishes he can write like that, he loves poetry and being able to put thoughts into words the way Edmond Rostand did is phenomenal. The poetry leaves Chanyeol breathless every time and he finds himself memorizing them so that he can replay them in his head whenever he needs motivation.

At that moment, Chanyeol gets kicked in the leg and he glances up to glower at Jongin. He stops when he realizes that Jongin is pointing towards his left with a goofy grin on his face.

"It's Baekhyun," Jongin whispers conspiracly and Chanyeol’s breath hitches when his eyes fall upon the smaller boy. He watches as Baekhyun hits his friend on the arm in a kind manner as they both laugh out loud at something. Chanyeol feels a pang in his heart, it’s painful and it settles down into sadness but he turns around to glare at his book.

"He's so cute!" Jongin swoons. Chanyeol disagrees because Baekhyun is more than just cute, he is nice and loving, and smart and funny and just overly perfect. Moreover, Chanyeol yearns for him but he knows that it is impossible because a boy like him, with an eye-twitching defect and no social life can never be loved.

Chanyeol looks up to stare at Jongin and he sees the clear adoring look he has on his face. He wonders if the longing currently being reflected in Jongin’s eyes is what Jongin would see if he paid enough attention to him. "Go talk to him," he says exasperated, but Jongin looks back at him in horror.

He then raises an eyebrow, "You know I just stutter and nothing coherent comes out of my mouth when I'm standing in front of him."
Chanyeol does know, he remembers all the past instances where his best friend had failed to speak like a normal person when faced with Baekhyun. Baekhyun was sweet during those moments and just waved kindly and said bye before hurrying to class.

It was no secret that Baekhyun was wanted by many, he was everyone's fantasy. Therefore, one more swooning boy did no difference, at least not in the eyes of others. This is why Chanyeol buries his feelings deep within himself; no one needs to know, especially since Chanyeol is never planning to act upon his feelings. He had his chance and Baekhyun’s response was clear.

"I wish I could write well at least. I heard that Baekhyun loves poetry and romance. Don't you remember when he dated Sehun after he received a letter from him? He said that it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done. Why am I so stupid?" As Jongin wallows in his misery he does not realize that his rant has triggered something in Chanyeol. Chanyeol looks down at his book and gets a sudden idea that he knows would be able to solve Jongin’s problem. Jongin does not have to face Baekhyun to speak with him; he could just send him letters; of course, Chanyeol would write them in his stead.

Jongin looks back at Chanyeol and recognizes his right eye twitching uncontrollably. "What's wrong?" He probes and this is how it all begins.

Writing comes naturally to Chanyeol, especially when he writes in order to express his feelings. So what if he was going to use this for Jongin’s benefit? He sees this as a way to tell Baekhyun his deepest thoughts and strongest emotions without actually showing that it is him. This is a great opportunity to somehow let some of his love for the younger boy out. Chanyeol knows that if he keeps them locked in any longer he would explode. Maybe after letting everything out Chanyeol could finally move on from this hurtful unrequited love.

Chanyeol has the first letter written before the end of the day and his heart beats frantically at the thought that Baekhyun would finally read his letter. Not only is it his true emotions but also his passion. Writing is Chanyeol’s stress-reliever, the only thing he could do so well and that he enjoyed. He spends hours cooped up in his room writing poems instead of doing his homework.

He gives the letter to Jongin as soon as he sees him the next day, the latter looks ecstatic to finally be able to get closer to Baekhyun. After Jongin opens the letter and reads a few lines he sighs, “How do you write like this?” He looks back at Chanyeol and his eyes are big and questioning. “This is beautiful.”

Chanyeol shoves down the urge to grin at the compliment, especially since it came from Jongin, but he schools his expression.

"Don't say anything dumb," Chanyeol lectures, pushing Jongin towards the hallway, "just say ‘here for you’ and give him a charming smile and leave before your brain erupts."
Jongin nods as the words settle in, and Chanyeol hides at the end of the hallway, behind the corner, where he can see Baekhyun's expression clearly. He watches as his best friend marches towards Baekhyun and his friends. He recognizes Sehun, and another little guy with big doe eyes that has just transferred into their school a week ago. Jongin stops and Chanyeol cannot hear anything but he watches as Jongin utters a few words and thrust the letter towards Baekhyun. The latter's mouth falls open and he takes the letter and flashes a smile towards Jongin, the smile is vibrant making Chanyeol’s heart ache. He wants that smile to be directed towards him, because of him; just like old times.

It is so easy to fall in love with Baekhyun but so hard to love him. Chanyeol thinks of the past, the times where he was best friends with Baekhyun. They were inseparable; at least that is what he believed at the time. He does not hate Baekhyun for leaving him once high school started, Chanyeol figures that he only dragged him down and Baekhyun had ambitions. Baekhyun joined clubs and made friends, and slowly separated himself from Chanyeol. Where Baekhyun was the moon, Chanyeol was a shining star; to him, their beauty could not even be compared. They just naturally drifted apart and Chanyeol found himself staring at the moon, it was okay to be the meager star, at least he was able to stay by its side.

It hurts him though, because Chanyeol feels like no one would be able to look past his defect. Unlike middle school, high school kids were mean, teasing and mocking and coming up with evil nicknames. He just assumed that Baekhyun would be able to look past that, that Chanyeol would be enough for him. His imperfections never bothered him until then, and Chanyeol spent weeks crying himself to sleep as loneliness just ate him up.

That is why he felt lucky to have met Jongin, the lazy sleeper, but at least the twitching never bothered him. He never even mentioned it and just saw it as a part of Chanyeol. Kids started to leave him alone, and it slowly got boring to make fun of him.

Chanyeol stops reminiscing when an arm is slung around his shoulder amicably, and he looks down at a grinning Jongin.

"It went well. Thanks bro," Jongin squeezes Chanyeol’s shoulder and does not pull away. A lump lodges itself in Chanyeol’s throat; the pain is still there even though he is happy for his friend.
“Any time,” he whispers coarsely.

❤

A week goes by and Baekhyun never speaks with Jongin, who in turn slowly gets discouraged as each day passes.

“Maybe he doesn’t like poetry?” Jongin asks and Chanyeol could not even smile and reassure him. Poetry is what he is good at; it would be even more heartbreaking if Baekhyun does not even like one single thing about him.

“I love poetry!” Jongin and Chanyeol turn around to see Baekhyun standing behind them.

“Jongin…that was the most beautiful thing I ever read! I just kept re-reading it over and over again,” Baekhyun gushes and sits across from them. Today he is wearing a little bit of eyeliner, and when he smiles his eyes vanish. Chanyeol thinks that he looks beautiful and he cannot handle being this close to Baekhyun, his heart beats erratically and he has trouble breathing. He did not think that he would have to be faced by him yet.

“W-why -,” Jongin attempts but stutters.

“Why didn’t you come speak to him earlier?” Chanyeol tries to help without realizing that he has spoken, and Baekhyun shifts his dazzling eyes away from Jongin to finally look at him.

“Oh, Chanyeol. Hi,” he says and he smiles nicely before he looks down at the table as a blush creeps onto his cheeks. It is one of those cute things that makes Chanyeol want to lean over and engulf him in a hug. “I didn’t think I would be able to speak as eloquently as Jongin. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“N-no,” Jongin says unabashedly, “it’s nothing.”

Baekhyun’s eyes finally look back up; he looks at Jongin with adoring eyes, “your writing took my breath away and made my heart beat quicken.”

Chanyeol just sits there in shock as Baekhyun compliments his writing. He feels so happy and complete just to know that he enjoys it just as much as him. He wants to write letters to him daily, let him know how much he truly loves him.

“Can you speak to me like that?” Baekhyun suddenly asks, smiling in a shy manner.

Jongin’s eyes widen and he looks at Chanyeol for help, he could never speak the way Chanyeol does.

“He can’t, he gets too embarrassed,” Chanyeol chips in and Baekhyun just nods but he looks so sad and Chanyeol feels bad for denying him. “But, he could write you more letters.”

“He could?” Baekhyun asks, looking ecstatic.

“I could?” Jongin repeats and looks at Chanyeol in utter shock and panic.

“Of course you will,” Chanyeol says; he knows that deep down he is digging himself into a deep hole and it would be hard for anyone to save him after this.

❤

“What are you doing?” Jongin asks Chanyeol after the lunch bell rings and everyone starts shuffling back to their classes like zombies.

Chanyeol tries to act nonchalant, “I’m helping you…”

Jongin narrows his eyes at Chanyeol, “you’re acting weird.”

“No, I’m not. You really like Baekhyun and I’m being a great best friend by writing these letters for you.” Chanyeol walks quickly through the class door, efficiently stopping the conversation for another time, which hopefully will never come.

For a week that’s all Chanyeol does; he goes home, grabs something quick to eat and starts to write. He writes down his deepest thoughts, expressing his love for Baekhyun through words.

On Friday Jongin is absent so Chanyeol walks up to Baekhyun’s locker. His heart is beating erratically, and he can’t breathe the closer he gets to the smaller boy. The hallway seems so much longer all of a sudden, like a tunnel that never ends. When he finally reaches Baekhyun, he extends his hands and thrusts the letter to Baekhyun, the same way Jongin had done the first time.

Baekhyun looks up at him in shock but then he smiles and Chanyeol thinks that he is going to faint if Baekhyun keeps smiling at him like that. His eyes vanish and he almost looks happy to see Chanyeol. Even in his uniform, the smaller boy looks attractive, like the uniform was made especially for him.

“Oh, Chanyeol, what’s this?”

Chanyeol swallows; his throat suddenly dry. “Uh, Jongin is not here today - here’s the letter.” If he could, he would smack his head into the wall right now. He almost sounds as dumb as Jongin when he speaks to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun reaches forward and his smile turns into a grin, Chanyeol takes a step back before he does something stupid like wrap his arms around Baekhyun and nuzzle his nose into his hair.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol asks in bewilderment when Baekhyun starts opening the letter.

“I’m going to read it now, I can’t wait.”

Chanyeol flushes, he knows he probably looks like a tomato right now because he feels the heat crawl up onto his neck and in his face. He was not planning to be present while Baekhyun reads his deepest thoughts. Before he can even make up an excuse in order to leave, Baekhyun’s soothing voice rings loud in his ears.

“‘My heart always timidly hides itself behind my mind. I set out to bring down stars from the sky, then, for fear of ridicule, I stop and pick little flowers of eloquence,” Baekhyun starts and Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun’s eyes gleam before he squeals. “This line is so beautiful; it’s from Cyrano de Bergerac.”

“You know Cyrano be Bergerac?” Chanyeol splutters in shock and then closes his mouth. He never thought that Baekhyun would even be aware of what he is interested in.

Baekhyun stops reading and looks up at him and Chanyeol thinks he looks so cute with flushed cheeks, “of course, it’s one of my favourites. Do you?”

“Me too,” he mumbles.

Baekhyun smiles again and then looks around, reminding Chanyeol that they are standing in the middle of the hallway at school, where everybody can see them.

“Since Jongin is not here, would you mind if I eat lunch with you?” Baekhyun asks, looking kind of unsure and shy.

He opens his mouth but no words come out so he settles on just nodding, because this is probably a dream and Chanyeol will wake up with a feeling of dread. They spend lunch talking about anything and everything and it almost feels like they’ve been friends all along without those few years they have split apart. But the whole time all Chanyeol can think about is how Baekhyun can never be his and how terrible he feels for sitting with his best friend’s crush.

“We should do this again,” Baekhyun says enthusiastically when lunch is over. “Or maybe one day we can meet up and watch Cyrano together.”

Chanyeol just nods. His heart feels heavy in his chest.

Baekhyun’s smile slips, “obviously with Jongin, because I’m sure he loves Cyrano as well!”

“Yes, he loves it a lot.” Chanyeol does not know if he is talking about Jongin loving Cyrano or him loving Baekhyun. That night he twists and turns in bed and does not get any sleep. He feels even further away from Baekhyun then he’s felt for the past few years.

It becomes normal for Baekhyun to spend lunch with them. The first few days all eyes were on Baekhyun as he walked towards Chanyeol and Jongin to sit with them. Eyes that were questioning what someone like Baekhyun would want to do with them and Chanyeol understood. This continued until it became such a normal occurrence that no one questioned it any longer.

Baekhyun always acts like no one is looking and he always smiles tenderly at Chanyeol but then his smile turns towards Jongin and Chanyeol wants to dig a hole and never come back out.

He never asks Jongin to speak to him using poetry, knowing that it would only make him uncomfortable but he always gushes over the latest letter. Chanyeol feels a piece of his heart break every time because those are his words, his feelings, but no one would ever know.

Suddenly Baekhyun looks down at his watch and stands up, jolting Chnayeol out of his reverie, “I have to go but I’ll see you tonight?”

Jongin smiles up at Baekhyun and nods, “I’ll pick you up at 7.” Baekhyun waves before walking away.

Chanyeol chokes on the food in his mouth and splutters in shock. Jongin quickly passes him some water and pats him gently. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just swallowed wrong…”

Jongin sits back and smiles dreamily, “I’m going to ask him out tonight.”

“Oh.” He wants to smile at Jongin, and be a good friend while supporting him but he can’t. All he can think of is all the regrets and all the memories. It hurts but Chanyeol cannot do anything, he’s too hurt and scared to even contemplate doing anything.

Jongin eyes him and he suddenly looks unsure, “Do you think it’s too fast? I mean, I could ask later if-”

“No, it’s perfect.” And this time Chanyeol knows he’s speaking about Baekhyun. It never hurt that Baekhyun would never be interested in him, until now. No one wants a twitchy-eyed gigantic boyfriend who trips over everything.

Jongin’s smile returns and Chanyeol feels like the worst friend. “I was thinking of memorizing a line, maybe something about going out, and then kissing him under the moonlight. That’s pretty romantic, no?” Jongin looks really excited but all Chanyeol wants to do is cry. “Hey, are you sure you’re all right? You look kind of pale.”

“I’m fine,” he croaks, “just tired.”

❤

Jongin is ecstatic the next day; he comes barging into Chanyeol’s room too early in the morning. Chanyeol grunts, and squints as Jongin opens his blinds widely letting the sun in.

“What time is it?” he grumbles and closes his eyes tightly against the light. He was unable to fall asleep all night, as he thought about how sadness was starting to seep into his heart again.

“7:30. Wake up, sleepy head.”

“I swear to God, if you do not close my blinds and come back when it’s past noon I will hurt you.”

Jongin just chuckles evilly, and completely ignores the threat. Chanyeol just grunts even louder when Jongin throws himself onto his bed and the younger’s weight settles over him.

“Get off.”

“No.”

“Get off, now.”

“N- ouff. Oww that hurt, you jerk.”

Chanyeol, sadly, is wide awake now, so he rubs at his eyes and tries to chase away the grogginess. He glances down at his best friend, lying on the ground in, what looks like, a very uncomfortable position.

“I can’t believe you woke me up this early,” he starts but then he pauses and looks at his friend suspiciously. “Why are you awake this early?”

“Baekhyun said yes!” he yells and blabbers on some more but Chanyeol can’t hear him over the loud ringing in his ear. The blood rushes into his head, and he feels slightly dizzy, he lies back down and curls in on himself.

For weeks, Chanyeol brings a book to lunch. He opens it before he even reaches the table, and then he buries his face into it, acting like he is reading, until the bell rings to signify the end of lunch. He never eats his lunch either, just pushes it around lifelessly and waits for Jongin to finish his own food before he grabs Chanyeol’s tray and eats his food as well. It is hard to look up from the blurry book lines when Baekhyun and Jongin are chatting happily, occasionally holding hands and giving each other chaste kisses. He feels like throwing up every time, but he plasters a fake smile when they look at him. He wonders if Baekhyun’s little giggles would be because of him if they were still friends, if Baekhyun would hold his hands just as gently as he holds Jongin’s, but quickly tries to stop thinking those thoughts when he feels a pang in his chest.

Jongin eyes him warily for days, and pesters him whenever he can. He gets the best reactions when he follows Chanyeol home, because he knows this is where the older is most comfortable.

“Hyung, you’ve been really quiet lately.”

“I don’t usually talk a lot,” Chanyeol says matter-of-factly, and focuses on his homework. He’s been neglecting school work, and it’s starting to affect his grades.

“You talk even less,” he hears the whine in his voice and looks up to see him pouting. This is the card Jongin pulls out when he wants to get what he wants.

Chanyeol attempts to stop his smile from showing but he knows it’s too late when Jongin perks up. “Hyuunnngg,” he whines even more and pokes Chanyeol on his cheeks. He bats his wandering hand away but Jongin just attacks his sides and tickles him, knowing exactly where to poke. Chanyeol loses his balance and falls back when he starts laughing really hard, and he knows he lost when Jongin straddles his thighs and pokes him without stopping. Five minutes later, Chanyeol is wheezing uncontrollably and his sides ache where Jongin has relentlessly poked hard.

Jongin rolls off and lies down on the ground next to him with a satisfied grin. “See! This is how you usually are, not that grumpy mess.” Chanyeol just waits patiently, knowing that Jongin will finally say what’s on his mind.

“If it bothers you that Baekhyun hangs out with us at lunch, I-I can tell him not to…” Jongin finally says and he tilts his head sideways to gauge Chanyeol’s reaction.

Not expecting those words from Jongin, Chanyeol screeches, “No! I mean…I mean, Baekhyun is not the reason. I’ve just been out of it lately, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jongin says quickly and he sits up. “Baekhyun thinks you hate him, though. So I thought that maybe you did…” there’s a tilt to the end, turning his statement into a question.

Chanyeol shakes his head, “No, I don’t hate him,” he musters to say. It’s far from that, his mind disgustingly spits at him.

He somehow feels bad for making Baekhyun feel like that, even though it was Baekhyun who left him first. But Chanyeol can’t ignore this pain; it becomes even worse when he sees how nonchalant Baekhyun is at everything. The smaller boy acts as if he never hung out with Chanyeol for years, as if he never barged into his room at ungodly hours and requested that Chanyeol keep him company. It’s as if Baekhyun has completely wiped out those memories, the exact same ones that still haunt Chanyeol.

❤

It’s after the third week of Jongin and Baekhyun dating that Chanyeol finally stops acting moody and musters to throw a small smile towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun grins back, to Chanyeol’s horror who feels his right eye twitch at the grin. Baekhyun quickly averts his eyes and Chanyeol sees a little pink on Baekhyun’s cheeks and his stomach churns, Baekhyun probably finds it annoying that Chanyeol is trying to interact after all.

“Hyung, there’s a party tonight at Sehun’s, will you come with us?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun!” Baekhyun says enthusiastically and he beams at Chanyeol. Chanyeol wants to scream, tell him to stop acting nice to him if he does not mean it but he swallows his words.

“You know I don’t like parties,” Chanyeol says instead. It is true, he never feels comfortable in social situations, especially if the majority of the people are drunk; he thinks that Jongin should know that by now, Jongin was the same.

“It’ll be fun,” Jongin repeats Baekhyun’s words and Baekhyun nods vigorously.

“Come on, Chanyeol! You don’t want to stay home alone on a Friday night.” That’s exactly what he wants to do actually, but he finds himself nodding when his eyes land on Baekhyun’s gaze.

Friday night comes by quickly, Chanyeol dreading that day every second until then. Jongin comes over an hour early and forces a whiny Chanyeol into the showers and then into a tight fitting pair of jeans and a plain white V-neck shirt. His nightmare is coming true and this time it is the person he trusts the most that is taking him there.

Chanyeol groans and plops and rolls around on his bed, but Jongin does not relent and shoves Chanyeol upright to put some sticky wet substance into his hair.

“Jongin, I don’t want to go.”

Jongin just gives him one of his smirks and completely ignores his whining as he strokes his finger through his hair. “There!” he finally says and pulls back, “you won’t be coming home alone tonight.”

Chanyeol coughs and splutters. “You look good, hyung.”

“No, I don’t.”

Jongin just rolls his eyes, “Yes, you do. Did you know that Sehun thinks you’re really cute? Don’t roll your eyes you big goof. He told Baekhyun, which is why Baekhyun suggested we take you with us.”

The feeling in his stomach starts again and he musters an “Oh” before he’s being dragged across his house and into Jongin’s car. He knows Baekhyun will be meeting them there, even though he lives close to Chanyeol’s home. He is helping Sehun set up for the long night ahead of them. The whole way to Sehun’s house, Chanyeol feels queasy, he wants to go back home, get out of these uncomfortable clothe and just read or maybe write. He hasn’t written since his heartfelt letters to Baekhyun, every time he put pen to paper, an image of the smaller boy would gather into his head, halting all his actions.

When Jongin pulls into a long driveway, they park and Chanyeol reluctantly leaves the car. He almost crawl right back in when he hears the loud music and all the people already drunk. An hour later, he completely regrets coming, Jongin and Baekhyun vanished as soon as they officially introduced him to Sehun. He figures they think that they are doing him a favor but he feels completely uncomfortable. In his mind, all he sees is that Sehun is Baekhyun’s friend and his ex-boyfriend. Sehun also seems uncomfortable; he chugs down one cup after the other, figuring he can handle this better drunk. Chanyeol excuses himself, and with a shrug from Sehun he leaves. His mission to find Jongin appears to be futile, there are too many people jammed into one place, and it’s too dark to discern faces. He sighs, giving up, and decides to walk until he finds a bus stop, where he could hopefully hop into a bus and go home.

“Chanyeol!” he hears from behind him and he walks faster, hoping to lose Baekhyun.

When he finds a bus shelter five minutes later, Baekhyun is still hot on his heels and they both sit down on the bench in complete silence.

“I-I wasn’t feeling well,” Baekhyun explains, but Chanyeol does not answer him, so Baekhyun keeps talking nervously. “I texted Jongin to let him know we’d be heading home before him.”

Baekhyun just sighs and quietens, from his peripheral vision he sees Baekhyun play nervously with the cuff of his shirt, he decides to ignore him. When the bus pulls up twenty minutes later, they both stagger on and Baekhyun sits right next to Chanyeol even though Chanyeol has taken up a seat and a half in despair.

“You never ignored me like this, until…u-until Jongin and I started dating.”

Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun in shock; he was not expecting Baekhyun to have realized anything. Why would he realize that Chanyeol was treating him differently?

“I thought that maybe you hated me. That’s the only thing I could come up with. I didn’t mean to take Jongin away from you, he really liked me, and after reading his letters I just felt this tugging in my heart, you know.” Baekhyun keeps talking, sharing his deepest thoughts, but Chanyeol sits there rigidly, hoping that the smaller boy cannot feel his quick heart beats through their shared heat. His whole body feels cold, at this point, even though the weather is warm and Baekhyun is tucked in closely to him.

“Those letters did wonders, I would read them over and over again every night. I fell in love with his words, in a sense, I’m kind of weird that way,” he laughs, a bitter, cold laugh that sends chills down Chanyeol’s spine. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this-”

“Of course, it must also be convenient that Jongin is very good looking. What a coincidence,” he mutters coldly, unable to hold his harsh words back any longer as the pain numbs his thoughts.

Baekhyun turns wide, shocked eyes towards him. “That is not true, looks never mattered-”

“Bullshit!” Chanyeol says and stands up to walk off the bus, since the bus had reached their destination while Baekhyun babbled on and walked all over Chanyeol’s feelings.

The last thing Chanyeol wants to do is speak with Baekhyun, he knows that his feelings are wrong and his heart should not be beating like this for his best friend’s boyfriend. The only way to avoid these feelings is by avoiding the reason he feels like this.

He walks faster, attempting to lose the smaller boy but a loud shriek and a thump makes Chanyeol turn around. He finds Baekhyun on the ground, holding onto his ankle, without much thought he runs back towards him and helps him up.

When Baekhyun looks up at him with big inquiring eyes, after he successfully helps him off the ground, Chanyeol knows that he has lost.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Baekhyun asks softly and it almost sounds sad to Chanyeol’s ears, he reaches forward and grabs Chanyeol’s sleeve as if he is afraid that he will leave him again. This only angers Chanyeol more, he was the one abandoned, the one whose friendship meant nothing.

“I’m not,” he says sternly, trying his best to close the subject and leave before he makes a mistake. It’s really late right now, and no one else is on the streets except for the both of them; there is no way Chanyeol can escape.

“W-we used to be such good friends-”

“Until you left me,” Chanyeol states as he pushes Baekhyun angrily into the wall. Baekhyun flinches and he knows he has hurt him but his own pain finally returns, crawling up his veins and clenching at his heart. “You just turned your back on me one day and never looked back.”

“I was scared!” Baekhyun says frantically, holding onto Chanyeol’s hands that are grabbing at his collar, pushing him deeper into the concrete wall out of furry. Baekhyun tries not to flinch at the pain shooting up his back.

“Of what?” he clenches his teeth, trying to calm down. “That others would make fun of you? You were scared to be seen with me because I am hideous and no one wanted to be my friend. I just didn’t think you’d be like them Baekhyun. I thought that despite all of that you would still be by my side, but I was wrong.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widen in shock. “No!” he splutters, “That’s not it. Don’t say that.”

“Then what is it?” he asks, not believing a single word.

“I was scared because I thought you’d be disgusted of me, I wasn’t what others would consider normal,” Baekhyun’s bottom lip trembles, “I left before you would, I thought it might hurt less…”

Chanyeol’s grip slackens as the sound of his heartbeat loud and clear through his ears. “I would never-“

“I was scared because I liked you!” The words are said loud and Chanyeol does not think as he pushes Baekhyun against the wall again and kisses him. Their teeth clash as he kisses him aggressively, all his pent up anger and emotions finally escaping his grasp. Baekhyun gasps and Chanyeol swallows the sound as the smaller boy responds to the kiss. A small hand grasps his neck, pulling him closer and the other slithers higher into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He is spurred forward, licking at the seam of Baekhyun’s lips and Baekhyun gasps opening his mouth. He tentatively inserts his tongue into the warmness and licks at the roof of his mouth and across his teeth, tasting him. Baekhyun clutches harder and arches up into his body while he moans. The sounds he elicits are beautiful and Chanyeol can barely breathe as they wash over him.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun moans. At the sound of his name Chanyeol pulls back, his breathing erratic as he looks at him in shock.

He suddenly realizes what he is doing. “Oh my god,” he mutters in shock and he steps back. Baekhyun’s hands follow him, trying to pull him back but Chanyeol steps further, “I-I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Baekhyun steps forward trying to grab him but he turns around and runs as fast as he can, his name echoing loud and clear behind him but he can’t look back.

❤

He skips school for three days, acting sick so that his mother would leave him alone. He figures that it is not a complete lie, there’s an ache in his chest that he can’t really pinpoint, but in reality he knows what it is and he ignores it.

There’s a knock on his door on the third night, and he quickly pulls the covers over himself and fakes a few shivers. “Come in,” he says groggily, adding a few fake coughs just in case, he’s not ready to go to school yet.

It’s terrifying, knowing that it only took one sentence and he had back stabbed his one and only friend. He betrayed his friend for someone who had done the same to him. He breathes in too quickly when he sees who’s truly at the door, and ends up chocking on his spit for real. “Hyung…”Jongin says cautiously. “Are you okay?”

Chanyeol burrows further in his covers, hiding half his face. He’s too ashamed to look Jongin in the eyes, he has no right to. “Don’t get too close, I’m sick.”

Jongin stands near the door, looking around the room and then his eyes settle on Chanyeol. “Will you come back to school tomorrow?” he tries and Chanyeol shrugs. There’s a lump in his throat at the sight of Jongin, who, for some reason, looks so much smaller right now.

“B-Baekhyun has been acting weird lately and then you completely vanish…” Jongin stops talking then, unsure of how to get his thoughts across. “I’ll see you tomorrow, hyung. Feel better.” The smile he gives Chanyeol before he leaves is fake, Chanyeol can tell.

The lump in his throat grows and Chanyeol cries for the first time that night since Jongin has become his friend. For the first time in years, Chanyeol feels completely and utterly alone and hopeless. He bawls his eyes out into his pillow, until he feels like all his tears have dried.

❤

“Hey,” Jongin says and sits down next to him under the tree. Chanyeol looks away, unable to look his friend in the eyes.

“Hi,” he mutters and looks back down at his book attempting to avoid the other boy. The breeze is gentle pulling and playing with his hair. It is almost soothing if it wasn’t for Chanyeol’s heart squeezing painfully.

“This is where we became friends,” Jongin says and Chanyeol winces at the word. He does not deserve a friend like Jongin. He betrayed him without a second thought, even if he is repenting now it is not worth it.

“Yeah...”

“I think without you my high school life would have been the worst,” he continues, “I remember sleeping here just to avoid everyone’s gazes. I always felt so lonely until you came by and then I started looking forward to coming to school because I had a friend -”

“Jongin-“

“Just let me finish,” Jongin says and Chanyeol realizes that Jongin knows. Baekhyun probably told him how Chanyeol had pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Even though it really hurts to lose his friend Chanyeol thinks that at least Jongin is being nice while letting him down. He looks away, unable to show Jongin how much it really hurts, he has no right. “I was angry at first…I mean when Baekhyun told me - no just let me finish - I didn’t understand why you would do that. Why didn’t you tell me? I had no idea about your past with Baekhyun. Chanyeol, I wouldn’t have even attempted anything if I knew you felt that way.”

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol states because he does not know what else he can say. “I understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

“We broke up -”

Regretting his actions even more now, Chanyeol cries frantically, “No, Jongin. It wasn’t his fault I swear. This is my entire fault; please don’t break up with him.” Jongin’s chuckles stop him from rambling even more and he looks at him in shock.

“I told him everything, even about the letters.” A heavy feeling settles in the pit of his stomach and Chanyeol just wants to cry. “He didn’t love me anyways, he loved the person that was writing the letter, and that’s not me. I don’t think I loved him either, I just thought he was really cute and nice. Don’t you think he’s cuter?” Jongin’s voice sounds tight, and the fact that he is lying is evident. Chanyeol looks up at the person Jongin is pointing at and his eyes settle on a small figure with big eyes leaning on a tree on the other side, the new transfer. Jongin stands up, “I think we’re more compatible. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch, yeah? Stop trying to avoid me, and bring Baekhyun, or else.” He dusts off his pants and bounds towards the boy who blushes when Jongin drapes his arm around his shoulders.

Chanyeol still can’t completely grasp what just occurred and he feels an imminent headache.

Chanyeol spends the rest of the day at school in a daze. Jongin had taken the news lightly, at least better than he had envisioned. However, Baekhyun is avoiding him, scampering away as soon as Chanyeol is in proximity. At first, Chanyeol was glad; Baekhyun was giving him the space he originally needed. After getting a taste of Baekhyun’s lips, Chanyeol had woken up every day in an inconvenient state, and he went to sleep every night with Baekhyun on his mind.

This time when he spots Baekhyun across the hall, he tries to approach him stealthily, without scaring him away. Sehun coughs awkwardly, when Chanyeol is close enough, and Baekhyun turns around with fear evident on his face; but, now it is too late for him to run away.

“Can I speak to you?” Chanyeol asks nicely, and Baekhyun nods dumbly, putting the rest of his books into his locker to avoid him even longer.

Sehun excuses himself quickly, leaving them alone, by that time; the hallway is empty of students. All tucked away into classes for extra studies or are on their way home. Baekhyun’s eyes show fear and they dart around nervously, but then he gives a cold chuckle, the same one he gave Chanyeol on the bus. “I guess my fear came back to bite me in the ass.”

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol blurts at the same time and they both pause.

“You go first,” they both blurt again. This makes Chanyeol laugh, he laughs harder when Baekhyun joins him, and then they’re in tears, nerves frayed and emotions on overdrive.

When they finally calm down, eyes settling on each other nervously, Baekhyun whispers, “I missed you.” And if the halls were not this silent, Chanyeol would’ve missed it. There’s a pretty blush on Baekhyun’s cheeks, without a second thought, Chanyeol is pushing him back, pinning him against his locker and kissing the breath away from him.

It’s frantic, and unnerving, this time Chanyeol lets his hands slide down as he holds onto Baekhyun gently around his waist. He coaxes Baekhyun’s mouth open, eliciting cute little noises out of Baekhyun when he tentatively licks into his mouth. It is hotter this time, and when Baekhyun moans Chanyeol’s name, he does not pull away instead he pushes into him deeper, trying to mould them into one.

When they finally pull away to breathe, Baekhyun’s blush has moved down onto his neck and into the collar of his uniform, his lips are kiss swollen and a beautiful shade of red.

“Ugh, you’re so beautiful,” Chanyeol says and he gets a small delight in the fact that Baekhyun turns an even darker shade of pink, hands coming up to cover his face in embarrassment. It’s the cutest thing Chanyeol has ever seen. “I missed you too.” Is the only warning Baekhyun gets before there are lips on his again, and the breath is stolen away from him. Now there is nothing that can keep Chanyeol away from the cute boy who is giving out little shudders of breath as he coaxes more sounds out of him.

❤

“Chanyeol, read this letter to me!” Baekhyun says and shoves one of the letters in his face.

Chanyeol looks down at it and recognizes the first letter he ever wrote for Baekhyun and signed with Jongin’s name. He glares at the letter as if it would burn it away and coughs. “No.”

Baekhyun scowls at Chanyeol and then settles on pouting. Chanyeol tries to ignore the smaller boy and focuses on his studies. Unfortunately, his grades are dropping, not due to his depression, but because of a small boy who wants to go on dates every day. However, he feels Baekhyun shuffle next to him and plaster himself onto his side.

“Please?”

“No.”

He attempts to avert his eyes but all he can smell is Baekhyun and Baekhyun is making these cute little noises like a puppy.

The words on his textbook all are jumbled up and he sighs exasperatedly. There is no way he is going to improve his grades while dating Baekhyun. It annoys him when he sees Baekhyun’s grades, because he maintains them so well.

“Why do you want me to read it?” he probes, hoping for good reasons.

Baekhyun just grins mischievously, “Just imagine your voice with these words, ugh, so sexy.”

Chanyeol splutters indignantly and he feels himself blush. He knows Baekhyun loves his letters but to have to read them aloud is embarrassing, especially now that Baekhyun knows that those words are his true feelings.

“No,” he deadpans.

Baekhyun giggles, now that he sees how embarrassed Chanyeol is. Chanyeol thinks that Baekhyun has given up until he is pushed down onto his bed and Baekhyun is hovering above him.

“Aww baby, are you embarrassed?” he coos while moving to straddle Chanyeol and Chanyeol just glares up at him.

“Not funny, Baek-” he shuts up when Baekhyun leans down and kisses him. His lips are soft and he coaxes Chanyeol’s mouth open, asking for more as he grinds down onto him resulting in both of them gasping into each other. Chanyeol will never get tired of kissing Baekhyun like this. After all, if Baekhyun keeps kissing him like this he will always get what he wants.

A/N Finally got this done! I feel like it needed more fluff though :P This is obviously super loosely based on Cyrano, I actually got the idea while watching the movie. Also, please forgive my mistakes, I have no beta!



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