Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Type: Ficlet
Fandom: NCIS
Characters: Gibbs/Hollis
Setting: Gibbs' home
Status: Complete
Word Count: 538
Summary: Written for
tiredmomof2 for the
help_haiti relief auction.
When he got home that night, he wasn’t at all surprised to find that he wasn’t alone in his house. There was a dim light emanating from the dining room, and the smell of the Chinese food had hit him as soon as he walked in the door.
Hollis must have heard the door open, because she walked around the corner from the next room, looking expectantly. She smiled when she saw him, and quickened her pace from the pause she barely made. She lifted her arms up around his shoulders and neck, and he responded accordingly, wrapping his around her waist. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly and audibly. The sigh made Hollis pull gently out of their embrace to look into his face.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did something happen at the peace conference?”
“You could say that.” He pulled away from her entirely and stepped past her into the dining room. “We lost another agent.” He didn’t turn back around to see the shocked expression on her face. Instead, he picked up one of the take-out boxes and sniffed the contents. “She sacrificed herself to save my team.”
Hollis let out a deep breath. “I guess it doesn’t matter how much military training you’ve had; death is still hard to deal with.”
“The death is the easy part,” he replied as he turned back around. “It’s the ‘what if’s that you’re not prepared for.”
“What do you mean?”
“All weekend, my team has kept saying, ‘that should have been us’, and they’re right. After Agent Cassidy dove at the bomber, it occurred to me that our lives were saved because I asked to take the weekend off.”
“Jethro…” Hollis shook her head slowly. She didn’t like where this was headed.
“That should have been me,” he concluded. “I decided to be just a little bit selfish, and now three good agents are dead.”
“It’s not your fault,” she told him. “It could just as easily have been anybody. It could just as easily be anybody again. It might be someone else’s team on call next weekend. It might be you on a Tuesday. That’s the nature of this business. You wouldn’t feel this way if Cassidy’s team had been the one originally scheduled this weekend. And I have a hard time believing that you would throw yourself at a suicide bomber just because your team had been killed. You’re too level-headed for that.”
He looked straight in her face now. “I’ve lost an agent before. The right circumstances can make even the most level-headed amongst us go a little crazy.”
Hollis tilted her head and smirked a bit. “Then you should know what she was going through.”
His face softened and he didn’t speak for a few minutes. The both of them sat down, and without saying a word, began to eat their Chinese take-out.
Finally, without looking up from his meal, he said, “Well, there’s one thing all the military training in the world can’t teach you.”
“What’s that?” She asked with a noodle still dangling out of her mouth.
“Understanding the human condition.”
“Mm,” she agreed. “Now, that IS one thing you have to learn on your own.”