I'm alive!
Ashton told me to update soo... Here I am! I keep forgetting I have this thing, since nothing exciting really happens for me to write about. I guess some interesting things have happened lately though.
Actually it feels like a lot has changed this summer...
The summer school was actually so incredibly painless I wish I could have done all of high school that way. Maybe I could have got amazing grades in my other subjects like I did biology 20. 95% is an awesome grade!
Turning 18 was very... anti-climactic. All this hype and excitement for pretty much nothing. I wasn't even looking forward to the alcohol, so what was there to be excited about? I certainly don't feel anymore mature than when I was 17. But holy fuck, I'm an adult now. o.O
Unfortunately now that I'm 18 my mother has been pushing me to drive constantly, which I hate. Driving is so uncomfortable for me, I know everyone says you get used to it and it gets better, but you still have to get to that point, which I am nowhere near. Lol.
And then she started pushing that word that I dreaded hearing... Because I'm not ready to go out into the world and make a name for myself. I'm incredibly scared and not ready to grow up yet. I still need my break and my fun. She said job.
So now I've got an application in for the evening/weekend librarian job at the Public Library. And I want it, because it's in a place I love and centered around a subject I love. I used to want to be a librarian. And then at the same time I'm scared that I'll get a call for an interview and afraid to have a job.
I feel so stuck in this weird transitional phase and I just can't tell myself to get over it and grow up. I guess I'm the 18 year old that wishes she was 10 again.
Only bad thing is that I wouldn't have Ashton then. I don't think I could live without him now, honestly >.< Even though he's as pushy as my mother sometimes. I love him.
Holly.
Actually it feels like a lot has changed this summer...
The summer school was actually so incredibly painless I wish I could have done all of high school that way. Maybe I could have got amazing grades in my other subjects like I did biology 20. 95% is an awesome grade!
Turning 18 was very... anti-climactic. All this hype and excitement for pretty much nothing. I wasn't even looking forward to the alcohol, so what was there to be excited about? I certainly don't feel anymore mature than when I was 17. But holy fuck, I'm an adult now. o.O
Unfortunately now that I'm 18 my mother has been pushing me to drive constantly, which I hate. Driving is so uncomfortable for me, I know everyone says you get used to it and it gets better, but you still have to get to that point, which I am nowhere near. Lol.
And then she started pushing that word that I dreaded hearing... Because I'm not ready to go out into the world and make a name for myself. I'm incredibly scared and not ready to grow up yet. I still need my break and my fun. She said job.
So now I've got an application in for the evening/weekend librarian job at the Public Library. And I want it, because it's in a place I love and centered around a subject I love. I used to want to be a librarian. And then at the same time I'm scared that I'll get a call for an interview and afraid to have a job.
I feel so stuck in this weird transitional phase and I just can't tell myself to get over it and grow up. I guess I'm the 18 year old that wishes she was 10 again.
Only bad thing is that I wouldn't have Ashton then. I don't think I could live without him now, honestly >.< Even though he's as pushy as my mother sometimes. I love him.
Holly.