braces_______x
Yeah... well... I have braces now.
And after a day and a half they have already managed to cut and fuck up the inside of my mouth and tongue. Its so fucking hurtyyyy... i could cry, but i won't.
I don't know what to do relationship wise.
I mean, i love him more than anything. I would go to the end of the earth if it would make him happy. But, how do i know he feels the same way. I mean, he doesn't want to be with me.
Most people are telling me to tell him to fuck off and for me to move on, though there are a few people telling me that he does love me, and does care about me, and that i should wait around.
I personally want to wait around.. i think.. though i have been waiting since... Feburary
..but i do love him...
its just tearing me up...
and he is so sad all the time... and doesnt want to talk about it
because it will probably make me sad
but it makes me sad that he can't tell me
i mean, i wish he could tell me everything
even if i cant fix it, so that maybe i could just understand.
i wish he knew that i wouldnt judge him, even if he thought it was small.
even if it might make me sad, because at least then i'd know that he could tell me anything.
I don't know if its just me or what... i mean i'm sure he has his reasons.
*shrugs*
My rat is being a little shit... she is rattling the door of her cage trying to get out.
X_x
In my art class, i think i'm going really well on our project, for once.
I feel like i'm actually putting myself into it, how i'm feeling, instead of making marks on a piece of paper.
I'm listening to a lot of Third Eye Blind lately.
Which is wierd.
But i can relate to it a lot.
Maybe thats why.
I guess i just like feeling part of the music.
It makes me cry a fair bit though.
But then again, what doesnt.
I can't keep it all together.
(Star, stuck underneath the moon.)
And the siren's song that is your madness,
Holds a truth I can't erase, All alone on your face.
Every glamorous sunrise, throws the planets out of line.
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac.
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room.
You let me down, I said it.
Now I'm going down, and you're not even around.
~
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don't mind
And you smile
And say the world it doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you
You're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt
You're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
~
I do not think anyone knows,
What they are doing here,
And your friends have left you,
You've been dismissed.
I never thought it would come to this,
and I, I want you to know,
Everyone's got to face down the demons,
Maybe today,
We can put the past away
~
And there's a demon in my head who starts to play
A nightmare tape loop of what went wrong yesterday
And I hold my breath 'till it's more than I can take
And I close my eyes I dream that I'm awake
And after a day and a half they have already managed to cut and fuck up the inside of my mouth and tongue. Its so fucking hurtyyyy... i could cry, but i won't.
I don't know what to do relationship wise.
I mean, i love him more than anything. I would go to the end of the earth if it would make him happy. But, how do i know he feels the same way. I mean, he doesn't want to be with me.
Most people are telling me to tell him to fuck off and for me to move on, though there are a few people telling me that he does love me, and does care about me, and that i should wait around.
I personally want to wait around.. i think.. though i have been waiting since... Feburary
..but i do love him...
its just tearing me up...
and he is so sad all the time... and doesnt want to talk about it
because it will probably make me sad
but it makes me sad that he can't tell me
i mean, i wish he could tell me everything
even if i cant fix it, so that maybe i could just understand.
i wish he knew that i wouldnt judge him, even if he thought it was small.
even if it might make me sad, because at least then i'd know that he could tell me anything.
I don't know if its just me or what... i mean i'm sure he has his reasons.
*shrugs*
My rat is being a little shit... she is rattling the door of her cage trying to get out.
X_x
In my art class, i think i'm going really well on our project, for once.
I feel like i'm actually putting myself into it, how i'm feeling, instead of making marks on a piece of paper.
I'm listening to a lot of Third Eye Blind lately.
Which is wierd.
But i can relate to it a lot.
Maybe thats why.
I guess i just like feeling part of the music.
It makes me cry a fair bit though.
But then again, what doesnt.
I can't keep it all together.
(Star, stuck underneath the moon.)
And the siren's song that is your madness,
Holds a truth I can't erase, All alone on your face.
Every glamorous sunrise, throws the planets out of line.
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac.
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room.
You let me down, I said it.
Now I'm going down, and you're not even around.
~
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don't mind
And you smile
And say the world it doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you
You're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt
You're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
~
I do not think anyone knows,
What they are doing here,
And your friends have left you,
You've been dismissed.
I never thought it would come to this,
and I, I want you to know,
Everyone's got to face down the demons,
Maybe today,
We can put the past away
~
And there's a demon in my head who starts to play
A nightmare tape loop of what went wrong yesterday
And I hold my breath 'till it's more than I can take
And I close my eyes I dream that I'm awake