What I wish..
I wish someone I loved would just hold me for an hour and not say a word..but express everything just by hugging me. I miss that. I miss just fooling around with people, without awkward moments that suck..and not in a positive life affirming way. I wish and miss a lot of things..like i wish I could stop whining about stupid things that won't change for all I kno ever. I wish i could turn back time and mend stupid decisions and de-sabotage myself from fucking up perfect scenarios. I miss seeing my friends from forever ago every day. I miss actual snow days, not the ones that only exist because the subways are flooded cuz of the snow and ur too lazy to walk in the freezing cold and make a snowman in central park. I miss writing about emotions that were present at the time instead of dreaming them and reliving particular pains in my head. I miss kisses that actually mattered instead of those just meant to pass the time or get to a specific destination. I miss foam parties at seedy clubs with 15 yr old friends. I wish I could hit the misses and fix the stupid decisions. I wish I could just let things go, I wish I didn't care so much about everyone else so I could stop my life from passing by so quickly at times and actually enjoy things instead of listening to people who want to ruin it. I wish I could fast forward to the good parts to know they actually exist. And last I wish I could find you or know if I know you, that person who is out there just for me...cuz I hate to tell you but its getting to damn lonely.