(no subject)
Holy fuck I need an adventure of some sort, anything. I'm sick of winter, as much as I like this job I'm sick of coming here every single day. The monotony is driving me crazy. I don't know what kind of adventure, just something. I want to explore something or do something crazy or learn something. My only reprieve has been studying and drawing.
I'm loving learning about mythology and I noticed I've been remembering bits and pieces from my world religions class in high school. Alan and I were watching a James Bond movie and I was able to explain to him about Sufism.
I don't know why (and I hate feeling like this) but I kind of miss the hospital. It was still a set routine every single day but I was able to laugh with people I like and cry when I felt shitty and not feel bad about it and just take some time out during the day to decompress. I hate feeling like I'm a shitty person if I want to leave work early just to get some much needed drawing time in. Like today, I would LOVE to just finish what needs to get done and get out of here and sit in the sun at home and draw or paint or something. NOT sit on the phone all fucking day listening to bad hold music.
Also, I need a friend I can get into trouble with. I need a Rhoda to my Mary or an Ethel to my Lucy. I think I just feel lonely. I'm not a good ideas person, I can never think of what to do to break the monotony but I'm always willing to be adventurous. At least I have an art day planned with Carlos. It'll feel good to be with someone else and just do art.
I'm loving learning about mythology and I noticed I've been remembering bits and pieces from my world religions class in high school. Alan and I were watching a James Bond movie and I was able to explain to him about Sufism.
I don't know why (and I hate feeling like this) but I kind of miss the hospital. It was still a set routine every single day but I was able to laugh with people I like and cry when I felt shitty and not feel bad about it and just take some time out during the day to decompress. I hate feeling like I'm a shitty person if I want to leave work early just to get some much needed drawing time in. Like today, I would LOVE to just finish what needs to get done and get out of here and sit in the sun at home and draw or paint or something. NOT sit on the phone all fucking day listening to bad hold music.
Also, I need a friend I can get into trouble with. I need a Rhoda to my Mary or an Ethel to my Lucy. I think I just feel lonely. I'm not a good ideas person, I can never think of what to do to break the monotony but I'm always willing to be adventurous. At least I have an art day planned with Carlos. It'll feel good to be with someone else and just do art.