The Case of the Diplomat
Truthfully, I was not happy to be home. It was the overt stuff to a degree - my father's bullshit, my mother's reticence, the haplessness of my siblings in a house that reeks of incidental union - the accidental linking of blood relatives. My reasons for being there were straightforward: See Maritza, Ryan, James, Karen, and maybe Lauren - pipe dreams die hard - and attend the conference in D.C.
I haven't seen Maritza yet, she's been busy and unavailable, but as I explained to Karen over dinner, that's sort of how our relationship is and I'm grateful for it. The calibur of people we are requires us to often be where we don't want to be, apart more than we're together, but it's how we're living life and if we can cleave together for a few moments in a year, it seems like enough.
Around five, I showered and dressed in black jeans and a patterened green short sleeve shirt. Karen picked me up close to six and with the top down on her convertible, she, Becky, and I drove to Outback Steakhouse. We waited for about half an hour, catching up on life as it's been in the three months since we were last all together. LudaCrystal wasn't there - for reasons unknown. Dinner was enjoyable, we took pictures, I flirted with the red-headed waitress, and chatted companionably about life at large.
Ryan had called me while I was getting ready and invited me over to his house for Diplomacy. After dinner, Karen and I navigated our way inexpertly to the Keller house and I joined the merry throng. A bunch of guys I knew in high school - generally through Model UN or sideroads of indeterminate destination. I was given a crash course in the game seconds before it began and found myself vaguely amused and enjoying it. It was political pandering at it's best. The game is fundamentally like Risk, but players have to conspire and ally against one another to take over the Western Hemisphere - a map Ryan drew himself quite well.
I was Mexico and found myself in an alliance with Keegan. Initially I was in with the Punihaole brothers, but they betrayed me, so with little compunction, I went over to the enemy side. The game became complicated quickly and before I knew it, the time was nearing midnight. The only reason I knew was because Dixie drunk dialed me. We chatted for a few minutes and I found myself wishing to be back at Allegheny. Though I was enjoying my time at Ryan's, I knew the night would have to end and I'd end up back at the house on Conway. I wanted to be getting sloshed at the White House with Dix, going back to make something in the microwave at 3 a.m. or dashing down to Country Fair. Oh, well. This is my life for the next week plus.
Around 12:15, I dialed my sister, who was just getting out of a movie and she agreed to swing by and pick me up. I gave her directions and said my farewells. We arrived at the house close to 12:30 and I was bushed. The night had been good, but only a temporary distraction from the real discouragements.
So with Ryan and Karen met gladly, I have yet to see Maritza or James. Maritza was contemplating hooky last time we talked and I'm meeting James Tuesday night for dinner. Wednesday Karen and I are doing karaoke as Jack and Karen and I might try and see someone else...if she's still here, that is. I don't believe Lauren really wants to see me. Our relationship isn't normal. Then again, whose is?
My last note of mention comes from the writing front. I've taken a break from SIGN, EXPATRIATE, and THANATOS, to write a little short story based on my experiences with Regina as they should have happened, could have happened, might happen. It's entitled "Memory Lane" and I'm four pages in. Reading to Dixie about Nessarose stirred these thoughts and I haven't been able to let them settle, just yet. Why Regina? Why now? Am I coming to the end of whatever formation my love for her mandated? Or am I convertly wishing to take my love back in time and preempt the broken heart that just won't come together?
Regardless, I have much work to do. ASG, GAP, Dr. Bluhm, and finances are all requiring my manipulation, so I manipulate. It's what I do. For now, at least, I have an out. It's called distraction. But like joyous times with close friends, it does not last. Practically, it cannot.
I haven't seen Maritza yet, she's been busy and unavailable, but as I explained to Karen over dinner, that's sort of how our relationship is and I'm grateful for it. The calibur of people we are requires us to often be where we don't want to be, apart more than we're together, but it's how we're living life and if we can cleave together for a few moments in a year, it seems like enough.
Around five, I showered and dressed in black jeans and a patterened green short sleeve shirt. Karen picked me up close to six and with the top down on her convertible, she, Becky, and I drove to Outback Steakhouse. We waited for about half an hour, catching up on life as it's been in the three months since we were last all together. LudaCrystal wasn't there - for reasons unknown. Dinner was enjoyable, we took pictures, I flirted with the red-headed waitress, and chatted companionably about life at large.
Ryan had called me while I was getting ready and invited me over to his house for Diplomacy. After dinner, Karen and I navigated our way inexpertly to the Keller house and I joined the merry throng. A bunch of guys I knew in high school - generally through Model UN or sideroads of indeterminate destination. I was given a crash course in the game seconds before it began and found myself vaguely amused and enjoying it. It was political pandering at it's best. The game is fundamentally like Risk, but players have to conspire and ally against one another to take over the Western Hemisphere - a map Ryan drew himself quite well.
I was Mexico and found myself in an alliance with Keegan. Initially I was in with the Punihaole brothers, but they betrayed me, so with little compunction, I went over to the enemy side. The game became complicated quickly and before I knew it, the time was nearing midnight. The only reason I knew was because Dixie drunk dialed me. We chatted for a few minutes and I found myself wishing to be back at Allegheny. Though I was enjoying my time at Ryan's, I knew the night would have to end and I'd end up back at the house on Conway. I wanted to be getting sloshed at the White House with Dix, going back to make something in the microwave at 3 a.m. or dashing down to Country Fair. Oh, well. This is my life for the next week plus.
Around 12:15, I dialed my sister, who was just getting out of a movie and she agreed to swing by and pick me up. I gave her directions and said my farewells. We arrived at the house close to 12:30 and I was bushed. The night had been good, but only a temporary distraction from the real discouragements.
So with Ryan and Karen met gladly, I have yet to see Maritza or James. Maritza was contemplating hooky last time we talked and I'm meeting James Tuesday night for dinner. Wednesday Karen and I are doing karaoke as Jack and Karen and I might try and see someone else...if she's still here, that is. I don't believe Lauren really wants to see me. Our relationship isn't normal. Then again, whose is?
My last note of mention comes from the writing front. I've taken a break from SIGN, EXPATRIATE, and THANATOS, to write a little short story based on my experiences with Regina as they should have happened, could have happened, might happen. It's entitled "Memory Lane" and I'm four pages in. Reading to Dixie about Nessarose stirred these thoughts and I haven't been able to let them settle, just yet. Why Regina? Why now? Am I coming to the end of whatever formation my love for her mandated? Or am I convertly wishing to take my love back in time and preempt the broken heart that just won't come together?
Regardless, I have much work to do. ASG, GAP, Dr. Bluhm, and finances are all requiring my manipulation, so I manipulate. It's what I do. For now, at least, I have an out. It's called distraction. But like joyous times with close friends, it does not last. Practically, it cannot.