BAT
yeah so last night i came back to my apartment with Van and I was in my room to change the MP3s when something flies through the door into my room and starts flying around. my thought was that a bird had got into the house, but i realized it was black and flying around strangely.. i quickly jumped out and slammed the door shut to lock it in my room. being a horrible urbanite i had no idea what to do... who the hell deals with bats in reality? i couldn't have been more surprised if the big red kool-aid guy blasted through the wall screaming OH YEAHHHH... so anyway i frantically knocked on jim's door while van thought more calmly and said she had seen it come from the stairwell from the front door and started talking about ways to let it back out. we huddled by the door to my room and kept opening it a crack and saw the bat flying around ridiculously fast in my room. so i went into my room and opened all the windows as it flew around, came out and locked it in again. about an hour later i went into my room and found it empty so i closed my windows. right before bed, i had the horrible thought that it might still be in my room when i'm sleeping so i started kicking random furniture to make it come out. satisfied nothing was there, i went to jim's room to talk for a while.. i was standing in his doorway with my back to the livingroom when jim says "somethings flying around behind you." i turned aroudn to see the bat careening toward me, and threw myself backward as i grabbed the doorhandle to close it. although i landed on my ass/jim's bed, i also landed on my thumb in a really awkward way and can barely type right now. i hope its not twisted or anything cuz ive never had any bone breaks or twists before.
i called boyscout-paul for help, but apparently he never got his bat-killing merit badge. while jim talked to him about meat and walls and stuff, we prepared for battle. since i had been about to go to bed i was only wearing boxers and kept having horrible images of it flying into my bare chest or something.. so i asked to barrow one of jim's shirts.. then we took window screens and lysol cans and went out into the livingroom. when we came out of my room, the bat was missing once again, but having seen it hide before we didn't believe it, especially since all the windows were closed now. as we started kicking random furniture trying to get it out, saikat arrived home at his usual 6am. he suggested that i start playing tone://20000 on the mp3 player to piss it off but that didnt work. being an EVIL GENIUS, he pulled out a fullbody biohazard suit he just happened to have laying around and i threw it on. my finger hurt too much for me to hold something to swing at it though. we looked up bats online and all the guides said that you should turn off your lights, which sounded like the worst idea ever because then it would be in its natural habitat and i would be peeing my pants. anyway we turned out our lights and it still didn't come out. boyscout-paul sent us a bunch of "bat sound" MP3s and we started playing them. they should have been labeled "rabid bat attacking people in the dark sounds" because thats what they sounded like and they didn't make the bat come out. so anyway we're pacing aroudn in the dark wearing biohazard suits and boxers carrying random objects for fighting a bat such as crackers, window screens, lysol + match, a cell phone, flashlight, etc. The webpage said to make sure not to sleep in a room where a bat might be so i dosed off on the couch. jim woke me up around 9 to remind me that i shouldnt be sleeping there but i just went to my room and slept more there.
its weird, because i've had human beings in my home before trying to rob us -- and that i could deal with calmly and fight them off, but a fucking bat freaks me out. i guess thats what happens when you grow up in NYC.
i called boyscout-paul for help, but apparently he never got his bat-killing merit badge. while jim talked to him about meat and walls and stuff, we prepared for battle. since i had been about to go to bed i was only wearing boxers and kept having horrible images of it flying into my bare chest or something.. so i asked to barrow one of jim's shirts.. then we took window screens and lysol cans and went out into the livingroom. when we came out of my room, the bat was missing once again, but having seen it hide before we didn't believe it, especially since all the windows were closed now. as we started kicking random furniture trying to get it out, saikat arrived home at his usual 6am. he suggested that i start playing tone://20000 on the mp3 player to piss it off but that didnt work. being an EVIL GENIUS, he pulled out a fullbody biohazard suit he just happened to have laying around and i threw it on. my finger hurt too much for me to hold something to swing at it though. we looked up bats online and all the guides said that you should turn off your lights, which sounded like the worst idea ever because then it would be in its natural habitat and i would be peeing my pants. anyway we turned out our lights and it still didn't come out. boyscout-paul sent us a bunch of "bat sound" MP3s and we started playing them. they should have been labeled "rabid bat attacking people in the dark sounds" because thats what they sounded like and they didn't make the bat come out. so anyway we're pacing aroudn in the dark wearing biohazard suits and boxers carrying random objects for fighting a bat such as crackers, window screens, lysol + match, a cell phone, flashlight, etc. The webpage said to make sure not to sleep in a room where a bat might be so i dosed off on the couch. jim woke me up around 9 to remind me that i shouldnt be sleeping there but i just went to my room and slept more there.
its weird, because i've had human beings in my home before trying to rob us -- and that i could deal with calmly and fight them off, but a fucking bat freaks me out. i guess thats what happens when you grow up in NYC.