⇒ the essay I have been avoiding for a half year
So the sexuality poll and the relationship meme reminded me! And I totally didn't just completely forget until now, really. Really. Also, SPOILERS that everyone probably already knows, durp durp.
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⇒ relationships
It's probably best to begin this whole thing with a look at Shiba Masataka, the seventeenth head of the Shiba clan and Kaoru's father. The important thing to realize is how very different they are: Masataka is clearly not as dedicated to his training, as he is older -- probably late 30s -- and still has not mastered the Sealing Character. He wears a leather jacket and jeans. He's pretty obviously a modern guy, living in the early 90s as a member of society. But he isn't the one making all his lordly decisions. It is Tanba who brings up the plan to use Takeru as a kagemusha. This was not Masataka's plan. Tanba is the one who decided all this and presented it to his lord. Masataka agrees to it, and sends his wife and unborn child away. Later that day, he dies in battle after using an incomplete Sealing Character and Takeru begins his mission.
Here's where the important differences begin. Kaoru, who was named by her father before he died (Kaoru being a name given to either a boy or a girl, the lazy dick), was raised by Tanba following the death of her mother. It's unstated when this event happened, but it was most assuredly before Kaoru was old enough to remember her and most likely as an infant; She states that, aside from Tanba, she has "always been alone".
She was raised to train, to learn the character, and to be the ultimate in samurai lords. She does not understand the modern world because she was raised in a very old-fashioned way -- the way you might raise a child in the actual Edo period. She admits to being anachronistic! She knows that she does not fit in with the world she was born into. But it is still her world to protect, and so she at the age of ~16 (OR LESS? more? the actress is super young and there is no canon age) returns to take her place as lord. This was NOT part of the plan! The plan that Tanba hatched involved her getting married and having babies of her own before revealing herself. Unfortunately for him, Kaoru is the perfect old-fashioned original-gangsta samurai. She will not hide like a coward behind a shadow.
So it is because of all this, and having spent her entire life training and studying and enhancing her skills, that Kaoru never spent time with anyone her own age, or anyone even slightly modern. Her only company was an old man who capslocks a lot about her well-being. When she is introduced, she doesn't know how to relate to people as anything but their princess. She only knows what the "right" way to do things is, or at least, the way things were done originally. She's very textbook.
It is only through experiencing the bonds that the other Shinkengers have that she realizes she's the one butting in. It literally never occurred to her that the vassals might have grown attached to Takeru or vice-versa; She just thought they would be delighted to serve their real princess, because vassals are supposed to be delighted to serve their lords. But she witnesses their faith and belief in each other, and she sees that importance, so she does something amazing. She wholly accepts it.
... So, in realizing that, Kaoru has a hard time with friendships because she ... doesn't know how to "do" them. Are the Shinkengers her friends? It took her a long time to say yes to that, because she can't see it that way. She does not know how. They call her Princess and guard her because she is a princess. Being social is new and different, and though she dislikes failure, she dislikes loneliness much more.
short version: She just doesn't know how, because she was purposefully raised in such a way that she would not be exposed to anything modern, because her father was too invested in the world outside being a samurai.
⇒ romance
In continuing the anachronistic thread! The plan was, as was mentioned, that Kaoru would have babies and they would grow up before she revealed herself. This was a plan she was familiar with and understood from the time she was capable of understanding such sentiments. At the very end of the show, the last that we see of Kaoru and Tanba is him pulling out files from an arranged marriage service to try and match her up. He is still intent on carrying out that half of the plan! Kaoru, less so.
Now, because of the way canon ended, she still does need to be married, yes; But it is no longer the number one priority, as she has an heir. The idea in her mind was, until coming to camp, still that she would spend time to understand the modern world and then marry someone based entirely off an interview folder. Because that's just ... how it's done.
The idea of having a romance is still very new to her. Hell, the idea that you could fall in love is confusing in and of itself! Stemming entirely from the way she was raised, Kaoru always knew she would marry a man and have babies and propagate the clan. There was no "love", there was no "dating", there was no "romance with cute boyfriend" or "fling". There was only "marriage to a well-standing member of society with the bloodline and talent for immense mojikara". With zero regard to her own feelings or sexuality, she would just lie back and think of samurai! Willingly.
And without making this any more unreadably long (as it already is), Kaoru's curiosity set in while in camp. Kissing and hearing people talk about dates and boyfriends didn't really mean a whole lot! At all! And it was just another thing she could ignore as it didn't effect her, personally. Given how awkward even being friends has been with people, this was something she could very easily avoid. Or it was, for awhile, because without realizing it all those things she'd learned of (and, well, lol mistletoe tried) were registering as important! And she was confessed to!
Which then led to a month and a half of quiet, determined desperation wherein the princess tried to understand her own feelings and figure out if she could seriously consider such a courtship. No amount of advice seemed to even make sense! But then again, why would it? Flings and casual romances were and still are alien to Kaoru. Involving feelings and physical reactions just complicated the matter and prolonged the wait. She didn't feel bad about making him wait at first, because he said he was alright with her taking her time, and Kaoru takes a lot of things at face value. But after a while, it became clear that he was anxious for a response, and so she made a split decision -- if physical reactions were needed, and if it involved absolute trust and caring for someone, she could deal with that. And she agreed.
Does she understand love? Romance? No. No she does not. Does she understand what it means to date someone? Not really. Does she understand her own feelings or those of her boyfriend? Not at all. So in a way, she is totally using Genta to better understand herself and the world around her. There is no ill intent behind the action, mind, but it is still there. It isn't all that fair to him, and she is aware of that fact, but she is still the princess. If this is the only way for her to learn, she will do it. Kaoru is nothing if not determined, to accomplish goals that took men entire lifetimes in under 17 years. There is just no better way to learn than to try it. So.
short version: She was never 'supposed' to fall in love, but having heard about it, wants to see if she is even capable given her sad asocial background.
this stopped making sense after like two paragraphs ffffff
--
⇒ relationships
It's probably best to begin this whole thing with a look at Shiba Masataka, the seventeenth head of the Shiba clan and Kaoru's father. The important thing to realize is how very different they are: Masataka is clearly not as dedicated to his training, as he is older -- probably late 30s -- and still has not mastered the Sealing Character. He wears a leather jacket and jeans. He's pretty obviously a modern guy, living in the early 90s as a member of society. But he isn't the one making all his lordly decisions. It is Tanba who brings up the plan to use Takeru as a kagemusha. This was not Masataka's plan. Tanba is the one who decided all this and presented it to his lord. Masataka agrees to it, and sends his wife and unborn child away. Later that day, he dies in battle after using an incomplete Sealing Character and Takeru begins his mission.
Here's where the important differences begin. Kaoru, who was named by her father before he died (Kaoru being a name given to either a boy or a girl, the lazy dick), was raised by Tanba following the death of her mother. It's unstated when this event happened, but it was most assuredly before Kaoru was old enough to remember her and most likely as an infant; She states that, aside from Tanba, she has "always been alone".
She was raised to train, to learn the character, and to be the ultimate in samurai lords. She does not understand the modern world because she was raised in a very old-fashioned way -- the way you might raise a child in the actual Edo period. She admits to being anachronistic! She knows that she does not fit in with the world she was born into. But it is still her world to protect, and so she at the age of ~16 (OR LESS? more? the actress is super young and there is no canon age) returns to take her place as lord. This was NOT part of the plan! The plan that Tanba hatched involved her getting married and having babies of her own before revealing herself. Unfortunately for him, Kaoru is the perfect old-fashioned original-gangsta samurai. She will not hide like a coward behind a shadow.
So it is because of all this, and having spent her entire life training and studying and enhancing her skills, that Kaoru never spent time with anyone her own age, or anyone even slightly modern. Her only company was an old man who capslocks a lot about her well-being. When she is introduced, she doesn't know how to relate to people as anything but their princess. She only knows what the "right" way to do things is, or at least, the way things were done originally. She's very textbook.
It is only through experiencing the bonds that the other Shinkengers have that she realizes she's the one butting in. It literally never occurred to her that the vassals might have grown attached to Takeru or vice-versa; She just thought they would be delighted to serve their real princess, because vassals are supposed to be delighted to serve their lords. But she witnesses their faith and belief in each other, and she sees that importance, so she does something amazing. She wholly accepts it.
... So, in realizing that, Kaoru has a hard time with friendships because she ... doesn't know how to "do" them. Are the Shinkengers her friends? It took her a long time to say yes to that, because she can't see it that way. She does not know how. They call her Princess and guard her because she is a princess. Being social is new and different, and though she dislikes failure, she dislikes loneliness much more.
short version: She just doesn't know how, because she was purposefully raised in such a way that she would not be exposed to anything modern, because her father was too invested in the world outside being a samurai.
⇒ romance
In continuing the anachronistic thread! The plan was, as was mentioned, that Kaoru would have babies and they would grow up before she revealed herself. This was a plan she was familiar with and understood from the time she was capable of understanding such sentiments. At the very end of the show, the last that we see of Kaoru and Tanba is him pulling out files from an arranged marriage service to try and match her up. He is still intent on carrying out that half of the plan! Kaoru, less so.
Now, because of the way canon ended, she still does need to be married, yes; But it is no longer the number one priority, as she has an heir. The idea in her mind was, until coming to camp, still that she would spend time to understand the modern world and then marry someone based entirely off an interview folder. Because that's just ... how it's done.
The idea of having a romance is still very new to her. Hell, the idea that you could fall in love is confusing in and of itself! Stemming entirely from the way she was raised, Kaoru always knew she would marry a man and have babies and propagate the clan. There was no "love", there was no "dating", there was no "romance with cute boyfriend" or "fling". There was only "marriage to a well-standing member of society with the bloodline and talent for immense mojikara". With zero regard to her own feelings or sexuality, she would just lie back and think of samurai! Willingly.
And without making this any more unreadably long (as it already is), Kaoru's curiosity set in while in camp. Kissing and hearing people talk about dates and boyfriends didn't really mean a whole lot! At all! And it was just another thing she could ignore as it didn't effect her, personally. Given how awkward even being friends has been with people, this was something she could very easily avoid. Or it was, for awhile, because without realizing it all those things she'd learned of (and, well, lol mistletoe tried) were registering as important! And she was confessed to!
Which then led to a month and a half of quiet, determined desperation wherein the princess tried to understand her own feelings and figure out if she could seriously consider such a courtship. No amount of advice seemed to even make sense! But then again, why would it? Flings and casual romances were and still are alien to Kaoru. Involving feelings and physical reactions just complicated the matter and prolonged the wait. She didn't feel bad about making him wait at first, because he said he was alright with her taking her time, and Kaoru takes a lot of things at face value. But after a while, it became clear that he was anxious for a response, and so she made a split decision -- if physical reactions were needed, and if it involved absolute trust and caring for someone, she could deal with that. And she agreed.
Does she understand love? Romance? No. No she does not. Does she understand what it means to date someone? Not really. Does she understand her own feelings or those of her boyfriend? Not at all. So in a way, she is totally using Genta to better understand herself and the world around her. There is no ill intent behind the action, mind, but it is still there. It isn't all that fair to him, and she is aware of that fact, but she is still the princess. If this is the only way for her to learn, she will do it. Kaoru is nothing if not determined, to accomplish goals that took men entire lifetimes in under 17 years. There is just no better way to learn than to try it. So.
short version: She was never 'supposed' to fall in love, but having heard about it, wants to see if she is even capable given her sad asocial background.
this stopped making sense after like two paragraphs ffffff