rant..

[harilover]

 This is something, I wouldn't usually talk about. It's a sort of secret, something people really don't know about me... but I roleplay John Lennon on face book (Johnnie McLennon) and I don't want to anymore.. but I feel like I can't just leave.. I want to leave, but I can't. Firstly, the Paul I roleplay with has been my partner for 10 months.. and

Comments

[cozyjo]

Role-playing can be intense, hon'..as you know..and there's that fine line where fantasy and reality blur, true..if you're not careful...

It sounds like it has become too emotionally draining for you to keep it up as just a role-play thing. As you yourself have said, "I don't just want to be someone's John"..okay..so..you clarified that to US..but..have you clarified that to your "partner"? Is he someone you COULD physically connect with if you wanted to or is it an impossibility? If it's the latter, then it sounds like you'd be doing yourself a favor by breaking free of the whole situation, hon'..which is what you appear to want to do, anyway..although, at the same time, you seem unsure.

If you can work passed your issues with this person, then go for it..but..if it is, as you said, not even fun, anymore, then that's your cue to say goodbye to the whole situation. You've had your fun while it lasted and I'm sure the experience meant/means something to you..but now, your brain is telling you it's time to move on, yes? Maybe you should listen. :) *hugs*

[harilover]

Well, she's always made it clear that she doesn't love me, that she loves my 'John', my character or whatever.. it's just messed up now. Sometimes I feel like she really cares for me, but I think I realize now it doesn't mean as much to her as it does to me.. and I'm just going to end up getting hurt.. like I have many times before.

Thanks for the advice <3 You guys are really helpful.. and I'm not just saying that. I can't get my head straight, and you guys are really helping me out.. thanks so much..

[cozyjo]

..aww..*hugsss* Sweetie..if that's the case..then do yourself a favor and move on. It'll hurt, of course, but..it'll hurt even more if you try to stick around and squeeze more out of someone than they're capable of giving. Trust me..and glad if anything we say here helps you. That's what it's all about. :)

[face_of_scull]

That's it. That's the reason - your fear to lose your own 'Paul' makes you go on roleplaying.
Try and talk with her. If she doesn't want YOU, then try to find some other distraction, as for me - it helps very much...