from me: to pseudo_tsuga
thicker than thieves
revenge
.pg | amanda and emily | 616
spoilers/warnings: none, creepy obsessive behaviour? It got dark.
summary: Her father had been fair, forgiving, trusting. She can't be, for him. Nolan understands this. Amanda doesn't.
n: so this ended up being a lot darker and creepier and emily being really fucked up than I originally imagined it would.
THICKER THAN THIEVES
Fairness isn't something that was ever given to her so she's learned not to give it other people. The world is an unforgiving place and she knows that better than most. Forgiveness to her isn't something given or gift, only earned, by blood and sweat and pain, and sometimes not even then. She's unlearnt forgiveness. She's unlearnt fairness. She does not give her trust easily.
The list of people she trusts barely fills one hand and even then their trust is something she has to cultivate and sometime hurt them to keep. Her father had been fair, forgiving, trusting. She can't be, for him. Nolan understands this. Amanda doesn't.
Amanda - Emily, but really Amanda; their lives are twisted together, their names woven into each other AmandaEmily EmilyAmanda but who they were can't be who they are anymore. - doesn't understand that, not in the same way. To Amanda she's still the girl from those days. The one who needed her. The one who her name. But she's not that girl anymore. She's not Amanda anymore. She has to be Emily, she has been Emily, because Emily was hard and cold and ruthless. Amanda was angry and full of feelings of twisted pain and betrayal; Amanda can't be who she is. Amanda is whole other person. She's made it that way. But she keeps Amanda close. She keeps her separate too.
She gives Amanda the life she once would have loved; child, dog, boat, Jack. She gives Amanda a second chance when second chances are something she's unlearnt. Second chances often mean forgiveness; she can't ever forgive. She can't ever forget. There's only room for one name on her hand that she knows she can trust, but she lets Nolan earn some of that trust, and lets Amanda keep it when her instincts tell her to cut her loose.
But Amanda beats inside her.
Emily doesn't wear her hair curly anymore. David Clark had curly hair.
So does Amanda and when she lets herself reach out and touch the other girls' curls it's almost like looking into a mirror except a different person is looking back. Amanda's lips curl and she reaches up taking Emily's wrist, and brings it down to her lips. She licks at Emily's wrist and bites it where the tattoo pulses with her heartbeat. Her teeth press at one of Emily's fingers-she has five others and the names of the people barely fit on them-and her mouth stretches. A slow smile, one Emily knows as well as her own. Maybe once it had been.
Emily rubs her thumb against Amanda's sticky lips.
The only person Emily can ever fully trust is herself, but once her name had been Amanda.
"What would you do for me, Amanda?"
She didn't really need to ask; she already knows the answer like it's her own, but she likes the way Amanda mouths the palm of her hand, how her eyes look up to Emily like she's everything she'll ever really need.
"Anything, you know that."
Her lips curl, slow.
Amanda gasps as Emily's fingers tilt her chin up, her nails biting a little at the edge of her mouth. Emily leans closer, bringing her lips close, breaths mingling.
"Good, because I'm going to need you too."
Amanda nods, eyes bright, arching into Emily's hands. Emily lets her get close enough - lips almost brushing - before leaning back and trailing her nails down Amanda's throat. Amanda shudders. Emily had known she would. She knows Amanda like she knows herself-they're twisted together, by names, by life, by trust and choice. And Amanda Clark is the only person Emily Throne will ever fully trust.
(crossposted)
revenge
.pg | amanda and emily | 616
spoilers/warnings: none, creepy obsessive behaviour? It got dark.
summary: Her father had been fair, forgiving, trusting. She can't be, for him. Nolan understands this. Amanda doesn't.
n: so this ended up being a lot darker and creepier and emily being really fucked up than I originally imagined it would.
THICKER THAN THIEVES
Fairness isn't something that was ever given to her so she's learned not to give it other people. The world is an unforgiving place and she knows that better than most. Forgiveness to her isn't something given or gift, only earned, by blood and sweat and pain, and sometimes not even then. She's unlearnt forgiveness. She's unlearnt fairness. She does not give her trust easily.
The list of people she trusts barely fills one hand and even then their trust is something she has to cultivate and sometime hurt them to keep. Her father had been fair, forgiving, trusting. She can't be, for him. Nolan understands this. Amanda doesn't.
Amanda - Emily, but really Amanda; their lives are twisted together, their names woven into each other AmandaEmily EmilyAmanda but who they were can't be who they are anymore. - doesn't understand that, not in the same way. To Amanda she's still the girl from those days. The one who needed her. The one who her name. But she's not that girl anymore. She's not Amanda anymore. She has to be Emily, she has been Emily, because Emily was hard and cold and ruthless. Amanda was angry and full of feelings of twisted pain and betrayal; Amanda can't be who she is. Amanda is whole other person. She's made it that way. But she keeps Amanda close. She keeps her separate too.
She gives Amanda the life she once would have loved; child, dog, boat, Jack. She gives Amanda a second chance when second chances are something she's unlearnt. Second chances often mean forgiveness; she can't ever forgive. She can't ever forget. There's only room for one name on her hand that she knows she can trust, but she lets Nolan earn some of that trust, and lets Amanda keep it when her instincts tell her to cut her loose.
But Amanda beats inside her.
Emily doesn't wear her hair curly anymore. David Clark had curly hair.
So does Amanda and when she lets herself reach out and touch the other girls' curls it's almost like looking into a mirror except a different person is looking back. Amanda's lips curl and she reaches up taking Emily's wrist, and brings it down to her lips. She licks at Emily's wrist and bites it where the tattoo pulses with her heartbeat. Her teeth press at one of Emily's fingers-she has five others and the names of the people barely fit on them-and her mouth stretches. A slow smile, one Emily knows as well as her own. Maybe once it had been.
Emily rubs her thumb against Amanda's sticky lips.
The only person Emily can ever fully trust is herself, but once her name had been Amanda.
"What would you do for me, Amanda?"
She didn't really need to ask; she already knows the answer like it's her own, but she likes the way Amanda mouths the palm of her hand, how her eyes look up to Emily like she's everything she'll ever really need.
"Anything, you know that."
Her lips curl, slow.
Amanda gasps as Emily's fingers tilt her chin up, her nails biting a little at the edge of her mouth. Emily leans closer, bringing her lips close, breaths mingling.
"Good, because I'm going to need you too."
Amanda nods, eyes bright, arching into Emily's hands. Emily lets her get close enough - lips almost brushing - before leaning back and trailing her nails down Amanda's throat. Amanda shudders. Emily had known she would. She knows Amanda like she knows herself-they're twisted together, by names, by life, by trust and choice. And Amanda Clark is the only person Emily Throne will ever fully trust.
(crossposted)