fic: keep falling i'll find you [sg1, pg-13]
keep falling i'll find you
pg-13 | daniel/vala | 1,960~
spoilers/warnings: none.
summary: It's about the things you keep and the people you share them with and sometimes it's about the things someone reminds you that mattered.
n: for ami_ven for the dv_exchange. prompt: snow, traditions, every time.
KEEP FALLING I'LL FIND YOU
Out of all the things she learns about Daniel accidentally the most surprising on is that he has a grandfather. A grandfather who appears to be alive and well, and sends him the occasional gift. It's quite the surprise because sometimes Daniel is so private, so reserved, that it seems he's been alone almost as long as she has.
In a way, she finds out, this is also true.
Daniel's grandfather doesn't seem the friendly one with chocolates in his pockets like the ones on the television. Or the evil, diabolical ones from the soap operas she watches when she can't sleep. Nick reads as a stranger to Daniel. A man who didn't know what to do with a lonely child and left him to a system that didn't know what to do with him either, but he also sends Daniel a gift every year as she's just found out.
It's just started snowing outside, and she's staying with Daniel for the two weeks they have off for the Tau'ri winter festivities. He's out, buying food, and she's alone in the house. Two years ago this would have been an improbable situation. The fact that it isn't anymore makes her smile.
It's being alone in Daniel's house how she finds Nick's gifts.
Daniel doesn't follow any particular holiday traditions, though she's noticed he is a fan of the sweets that this time of year bring, but when she asked about twinkle lights like she's seen on several of the houses around his, he waved her to the guest room he uses as storage and wished her luck as he went to the store.
The room is piled up with boxes of varying sizes, and if he was hoping she wouldn't snoop then he really hasn't come to understand her as well as she's thought. She did start, she should point out, just looking for the lights, but then she came across a stack of journals from his university days, flipped through the for a few minutes before she found the gifts. All opened, all then rewrapped up, but not one taken out if its box and kept around the house.
She takes them out of their boxes. It just sort of happens, she really did mean to just look for the lights, but they were all there, labelled and dated, because Daniel has not met a pile of junk he cannot catalogue and organise in his life-which really is something she rather loves about him. But he keeps his past and secrets locked inside neat little boxes in his mind or his apartment, and is happy that way. She quite understands why. She's almost, but not quite the same. Her past and secrets are locked inside her mind under chains, too dangerous to set free. Her past isn't neat, it doesn't fit into boxes or mission reports. It's branded into her memory, in the destruction of worlds, in lies. She prefers it that way, it's safer.
Which is why she feels slightly guilty about laying all of the presents - most of them labelled: To: Daniel, From: Nick, only one labelled: To: Danny, From: Grandpa - in front of her, but sometimes she has to pry Daniel open. Sometimes he does the same for her.
If he gets angry, she'll apologise. And when he does the same for her, which he'll inevitably do, and she gets angry he'll apologise too.
One lovely thing she's learned and come to appreciate it is that they're not afraid of fight with each other, they met fighting each other, the push and pull of them is ingrained in how they work, but sometimes they're too good at fighting and sometimes they forget that. Apologies are harder.
They didn't have to learn to be okay about fighting about things, they had to learn what to do when the words cut too deep and true.
She's arranging the latest From: Nick gift in the chronological line she's set up on the floor in front of her when she hears the door open and close. The air chills for a second and she can hear Daniel walk through the house, stop by the kitchen, and then continue on towards her. Her shoulders tense as she hears his footsteps stop outside the door of the guest room. The chill of the winter air has caused gooseflesh to rise across her back.
"Hey, Vala, did you find the lights?" he asks before he even really reaches the door.
She doesn't answer, looking over her shoulder, watching him lean against the doorframe, his eyes trailing the line of gifts in front of her.
"I guess not," he says, watching her.
She smiles. "I was looking, but then all these lovely trinkets distracted me."
"I see."
She swallows, twisting her body to face him more head on. "You have a grandfather, Daniel."
His lips twitch. A smile or a frown she's not sure what it would have been because he settles his face into a neutral expression.
"Most people do."
Vala rolls her eyes, turns back to the gifts. Picks up the oldest one. "You have a grandfather who sends you gifts almost every year since you've been a child."
She can feel Daniel step closer to her, can feel him as he crouches down behind her, as his hand curves over her shoulder.
"Why have you never told me about him?" The small gift feels fragile in her hands. She imagines a young Daniel holding it. It's very hard to imagine a young Daniel.
"Nick and I aren't very close." He settles behind her. His legs spread out in a vee around her. "When I was little he was off travelling the world, then he got lost for a while, and then we lost track of each other-" he sighs, "You've never told me about your grandparents, you know."
Vala puts the gift down and picks up another. Turns it in her hand. It's just a trinket, nothing of real value, but it's a part of Daniel's past. She used to have trinkets, Solstice gifts from her own grandparents, she doesn't know where they are anymore.
"You've never asked, but if you had I would have told you they're long; long dead."
His hand cover hers, together they put the old gift down. The rest sit in a silent line in front of them.
"I'm sorry."
Vala shrugs. "I hardly knew them."
"Still."
"Your Nick seems attentive in his gift giving, I think I would like him."
Daniel leans forward, she can feel the buttons of his shirt against the thin material of the thin t-shirt she wears, and grabs one of the gifts. A thin book. Vala smiles at his choice. Arms around her, Daniel flips idly through the book. She feels his chin on her shoulder as he looks over the book. The letters are small, but there are small pictures interlaced through some pages; a storybook then.
"I noticed you arranged them in chronological orders," he says, thumb running down the gold edges of the yellowed paper.
"You're very organised."
"Then you noticed there are more than few years where I didn't get any gifts."
She nods, leaning back against him, "Yet he hasn't missed a gift in the last seven years. I like the fertility statue. Sexy." He shifts behind her getting more comfortable. The book is settled on the floor in front of her. His hands lock around her waist. His low chuckle is soft and warm by her ear. "You would."
They sit there for a few seconds in silence, watching his gifts. She doesn't know what he's thinking, if he's remembering each year, each place he was when he received them. She wonders if all the memories are good.
"Mitchell always visits his family during the holidays. Cassandra comes and sees Samantha. Teal'c takes the time to go to see Rya'c and his family."
"During winter holidays it is usually customary to see family, exchange gifts, you know this." He presses his nose against cheek, "You capitalise on it." She chuckles, leaning back on him, amused.
"But you don't see Nick?" she asks, something inside her makes her feel she has to. From the little Daniel talks about his family she's gleaned enough to know this time of the year is difficult for him though he gives a good show. He was loved by his parents in a way she could never claim to be loved by her own, or by her father at any rate. Her mother had worked too hard, loved too hard, left too quick. Daniel though has special memories of his own that have only crystallised over the years.
She understands that. She doesn't to shatter that.
And now there are all these gifts preserved in his own archives she's unearthed.
"We're not that kind of family," he says.
Vala hums.
"Vala," Daniel breathes against her cheek, amusement tinting his voice, "Do you want to meet my grandfather?"
That's the question that this all seems to pose, isn't it, she realises.
Turning, she cups his jaw and kisses his cheek, smiling against his stubble. He didn't shave this morning. She can be quiet distracting, she'll have you know.
"You did meet Jacek, though that wasn't anybody's choice."
"Vala."
She turns in the space between his legs and slides close, her own legs draping over his thighs, closing him in. His hands brush her hair back over her shoulder; one hand cups her head, the other drops to her hips. "You know that didn't count," he mummers. She grins, kisses him. He's so clever.
"Thank you, and no, I don't need to meet your grandfather."
"I didn't say need."
She rolls her eyes, but he's right. "I just like knowing the people you deem important in your life, you know all of mine."
"I'm sure I don't."
So, so clever.
She laughs and slide closer to him, wraps her legs tight around his waist, and kisses him. "You make a valid point."
"But one day… I will?" he asks, mouth against hers.
Vala licks the seam of his lips. "One day you will."
"Good, and same goes for me too, and Nick." He wraps his arm around her waist, boosting her closer, bringing his legs together so she's seated on his lap. His hand goes under the shirt, the only thing she's wearing aside underwear. "It would have been Catherine before, you know," he kisses down her neck.
Vala leans back, "Hmm?"
When he smiles Daniel much younger. "She was more family to me than Nick for a long time, and I would have made sure you met her. She always invited me to her Christmas dinner, it was a tradition. I'd never go, but if she was still around, I'd take you. Everyone else you know."
Vala grins, "After the holidays there's a planet we should go to."
"More in-laws?"
Laughing, Vala closes her mouth over his bottom lip and sucks. "Of a sort, more like the one person I'd ever go to when there's no other option. My Alpha site of sorts. More like an Omega site."
"Oh god, they're going be on a Most Wanted list aren't they?"
"Darling, they are the top of every Most Wanted list."
"Can't wait."
The fact she makes Daniel laugh and lightens that look that lives in the dark corners of his eyes is to this day one of the better things she's accomplished since coming to the Tau'ri.
pg-13 | daniel/vala | 1,960~
spoilers/warnings: none.
summary: It's about the things you keep and the people you share them with and sometimes it's about the things someone reminds you that mattered.
n: for ami_ven for the dv_exchange. prompt: snow, traditions, every time.
KEEP FALLING I'LL FIND YOU
Out of all the things she learns about Daniel accidentally the most surprising on is that he has a grandfather. A grandfather who appears to be alive and well, and sends him the occasional gift. It's quite the surprise because sometimes Daniel is so private, so reserved, that it seems he's been alone almost as long as she has.
In a way, she finds out, this is also true.
Daniel's grandfather doesn't seem the friendly one with chocolates in his pockets like the ones on the television. Or the evil, diabolical ones from the soap operas she watches when she can't sleep. Nick reads as a stranger to Daniel. A man who didn't know what to do with a lonely child and left him to a system that didn't know what to do with him either, but he also sends Daniel a gift every year as she's just found out.
It's just started snowing outside, and she's staying with Daniel for the two weeks they have off for the Tau'ri winter festivities. He's out, buying food, and she's alone in the house. Two years ago this would have been an improbable situation. The fact that it isn't anymore makes her smile.
It's being alone in Daniel's house how she finds Nick's gifts.
Daniel doesn't follow any particular holiday traditions, though she's noticed he is a fan of the sweets that this time of year bring, but when she asked about twinkle lights like she's seen on several of the houses around his, he waved her to the guest room he uses as storage and wished her luck as he went to the store.
The room is piled up with boxes of varying sizes, and if he was hoping she wouldn't snoop then he really hasn't come to understand her as well as she's thought. She did start, she should point out, just looking for the lights, but then she came across a stack of journals from his university days, flipped through the for a few minutes before she found the gifts. All opened, all then rewrapped up, but not one taken out if its box and kept around the house.
She takes them out of their boxes. It just sort of happens, she really did mean to just look for the lights, but they were all there, labelled and dated, because Daniel has not met a pile of junk he cannot catalogue and organise in his life-which really is something she rather loves about him. But he keeps his past and secrets locked inside neat little boxes in his mind or his apartment, and is happy that way. She quite understands why. She's almost, but not quite the same. Her past and secrets are locked inside her mind under chains, too dangerous to set free. Her past isn't neat, it doesn't fit into boxes or mission reports. It's branded into her memory, in the destruction of worlds, in lies. She prefers it that way, it's safer.
Which is why she feels slightly guilty about laying all of the presents - most of them labelled: To: Daniel, From: Nick, only one labelled: To: Danny, From: Grandpa - in front of her, but sometimes she has to pry Daniel open. Sometimes he does the same for her.
If he gets angry, she'll apologise. And when he does the same for her, which he'll inevitably do, and she gets angry he'll apologise too.
One lovely thing she's learned and come to appreciate it is that they're not afraid of fight with each other, they met fighting each other, the push and pull of them is ingrained in how they work, but sometimes they're too good at fighting and sometimes they forget that. Apologies are harder.
They didn't have to learn to be okay about fighting about things, they had to learn what to do when the words cut too deep and true.
She's arranging the latest From: Nick gift in the chronological line she's set up on the floor in front of her when she hears the door open and close. The air chills for a second and she can hear Daniel walk through the house, stop by the kitchen, and then continue on towards her. Her shoulders tense as she hears his footsteps stop outside the door of the guest room. The chill of the winter air has caused gooseflesh to rise across her back.
"Hey, Vala, did you find the lights?" he asks before he even really reaches the door.
She doesn't answer, looking over her shoulder, watching him lean against the doorframe, his eyes trailing the line of gifts in front of her.
"I guess not," he says, watching her.
She smiles. "I was looking, but then all these lovely trinkets distracted me."
"I see."
She swallows, twisting her body to face him more head on. "You have a grandfather, Daniel."
His lips twitch. A smile or a frown she's not sure what it would have been because he settles his face into a neutral expression.
"Most people do."
Vala rolls her eyes, turns back to the gifts. Picks up the oldest one. "You have a grandfather who sends you gifts almost every year since you've been a child."
She can feel Daniel step closer to her, can feel him as he crouches down behind her, as his hand curves over her shoulder.
"Why have you never told me about him?" The small gift feels fragile in her hands. She imagines a young Daniel holding it. It's very hard to imagine a young Daniel.
"Nick and I aren't very close." He settles behind her. His legs spread out in a vee around her. "When I was little he was off travelling the world, then he got lost for a while, and then we lost track of each other-" he sighs, "You've never told me about your grandparents, you know."
Vala puts the gift down and picks up another. Turns it in her hand. It's just a trinket, nothing of real value, but it's a part of Daniel's past. She used to have trinkets, Solstice gifts from her own grandparents, she doesn't know where they are anymore.
"You've never asked, but if you had I would have told you they're long; long dead."
His hand cover hers, together they put the old gift down. The rest sit in a silent line in front of them.
"I'm sorry."
Vala shrugs. "I hardly knew them."
"Still."
"Your Nick seems attentive in his gift giving, I think I would like him."
Daniel leans forward, she can feel the buttons of his shirt against the thin material of the thin t-shirt she wears, and grabs one of the gifts. A thin book. Vala smiles at his choice. Arms around her, Daniel flips idly through the book. She feels his chin on her shoulder as he looks over the book. The letters are small, but there are small pictures interlaced through some pages; a storybook then.
"I noticed you arranged them in chronological orders," he says, thumb running down the gold edges of the yellowed paper.
"You're very organised."
"Then you noticed there are more than few years where I didn't get any gifts."
She nods, leaning back against him, "Yet he hasn't missed a gift in the last seven years. I like the fertility statue. Sexy." He shifts behind her getting more comfortable. The book is settled on the floor in front of her. His hands lock around her waist. His low chuckle is soft and warm by her ear. "You would."
They sit there for a few seconds in silence, watching his gifts. She doesn't know what he's thinking, if he's remembering each year, each place he was when he received them. She wonders if all the memories are good.
"Mitchell always visits his family during the holidays. Cassandra comes and sees Samantha. Teal'c takes the time to go to see Rya'c and his family."
"During winter holidays it is usually customary to see family, exchange gifts, you know this." He presses his nose against cheek, "You capitalise on it." She chuckles, leaning back on him, amused.
"But you don't see Nick?" she asks, something inside her makes her feel she has to. From the little Daniel talks about his family she's gleaned enough to know this time of the year is difficult for him though he gives a good show. He was loved by his parents in a way she could never claim to be loved by her own, or by her father at any rate. Her mother had worked too hard, loved too hard, left too quick. Daniel though has special memories of his own that have only crystallised over the years.
She understands that. She doesn't to shatter that.
And now there are all these gifts preserved in his own archives she's unearthed.
"We're not that kind of family," he says.
Vala hums.
"Vala," Daniel breathes against her cheek, amusement tinting his voice, "Do you want to meet my grandfather?"
That's the question that this all seems to pose, isn't it, she realises.
Turning, she cups his jaw and kisses his cheek, smiling against his stubble. He didn't shave this morning. She can be quiet distracting, she'll have you know.
"You did meet Jacek, though that wasn't anybody's choice."
"Vala."
She turns in the space between his legs and slides close, her own legs draping over his thighs, closing him in. His hands brush her hair back over her shoulder; one hand cups her head, the other drops to her hips. "You know that didn't count," he mummers. She grins, kisses him. He's so clever.
"Thank you, and no, I don't need to meet your grandfather."
"I didn't say need."
She rolls her eyes, but he's right. "I just like knowing the people you deem important in your life, you know all of mine."
"I'm sure I don't."
So, so clever.
She laughs and slide closer to him, wraps her legs tight around his waist, and kisses him. "You make a valid point."
"But one day… I will?" he asks, mouth against hers.
Vala licks the seam of his lips. "One day you will."
"Good, and same goes for me too, and Nick." He wraps his arm around her waist, boosting her closer, bringing his legs together so she's seated on his lap. His hand goes under the shirt, the only thing she's wearing aside underwear. "It would have been Catherine before, you know," he kisses down her neck.
Vala leans back, "Hmm?"
When he smiles Daniel much younger. "She was more family to me than Nick for a long time, and I would have made sure you met her. She always invited me to her Christmas dinner, it was a tradition. I'd never go, but if she was still around, I'd take you. Everyone else you know."
Vala grins, "After the holidays there's a planet we should go to."
"More in-laws?"
Laughing, Vala closes her mouth over his bottom lip and sucks. "Of a sort, more like the one person I'd ever go to when there's no other option. My Alpha site of sorts. More like an Omega site."
"Oh god, they're going be on a Most Wanted list aren't they?"
"Darling, they are the top of every Most Wanted list."
"Can't wait."
The fact she makes Daniel laugh and lightens that look that lives in the dark corners of his eyes is to this day one of the better things she's accomplished since coming to the Tau'ri.