fic: Only Fools (8/9)
TITLE: ONLY FOOLS
FANDOM: SG-1
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala. Minor other pairings, including a slash one.
GENRE: Romance/Humour/Action-Adventure/Angst/AU. It's a plethora of genres, lets see how I make them work together.
RATING: R
WARNINGS/SPOILERS: None, AU of crack is cracky. I have no shame in this.
SUMMARY: In the waters of the Caribbean lie treasures unfound, leave it to Vala and Daniel to look for the one that causes them the most trouble. (originally written for the dv_exchange)
A/N: Lots of action in the following chapters. Things start speeding up.
( part i: original comm link)
part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii
Daniel was inwardly chastising himself. He had just slept with his wife-ex-wife! He just slept with his ex-wife in a church for god's sake, and as they searched for the Odisea’s headstone, he hated that all he was thinking about was doing it again.
After their moment in the archives of the church, Vala had climbed off of him pressing a kiss to his cheek, before fixing her clothes.
“Well, that wasn’t part of the plan,” she smiled, looking down at him as he pulled his own shorts back on, reaching for his discarded shirt.
“Vala.”
“Can’t say it wasn’t great though, and we never did have break up sex,” she rattled on and Daniel knew this was classic Vala. She didn’t want to deal with the implications of what had just happened between them, and to be perfectly honest, he didn’t really feel like it either. So, he went along with it.
Standing, he rolled his shoulders, hearing the bones pop- floor sex wasn’t glamourous as it used to be. “We should head up to the cemetery.”
Vala had looked over at him, partly in relief that he was letting their situation rest for now, and partly in excitement. Neither of them had forgotten what was waiting for them up there.
“Yes, let’s go, darling,” she had exclaimed, already half way out of the room.
Now, after a good ten minutes of searching around the cemetery, both of them were feeling their patience wearing thin. They still hadn’t found the headstone and the sun had long set, leaving them only with old flashlights and moonlight. Not an ideal situation and he was exhausted. Not to mention he had just had sex in a church and was planning to dig up a grave. He was sure he was going to hell after tonight.
At least he’d be in good company.
“Vala, have you found anything?” he called out, rubbing at his tired eyes.
“Not a bloody thing, stupid bloody cemetery!” she growled, kicking at the ground. Even from where he was, across the cemetery, he heard the sound of her foot connecting with something.
“BLOODY FUCKING HELL, I HATE THIS PLACE!” she yelled to the skies, dropping to the ground, cradling her foot to her chest.
“I’m almost positive that’s sacrilegious,” he joked, wincing when he caught the look she gave him. Sighing, Daniel stood and turn to make his way toward her. “Vala. Vala, come on let me take a look,” he coaxed as she glared at him.
“No,” she muttered, giving the rock that tripped her the stink eye.
Daniel rolled his eyes, and went to lift up the rock when Vala’s eye grew wide.
“Daniel, stop!”
Immediately, he did, and cursed his action. The rocked weighed a good twenty pounds in his arms and Vala wasn’t letting him put it down.
“Vala,” he gritted out, “there better be a good reason for this.”
Vala’s eyes moved from they had been on the rock, and lock onto to his. “Just look here,” she brushed her hand over the rough surface of the rock facing her so Daniel had to tilt his head to get a good look at what she was taking about.
There, etched on the surface was one word.
Odisea.
They had found the grave.
-
Immediately after they realised they had found the grave of the Odisea, Vala had rushed to the shed by the side of the church and came back with a shovel. Now Daniel watched as she perched herself on the vespa as he took his turn at digging. They had been digging for the past twenty minutes and so far had nothing to show for it except for a giant hole in the middle of a cemetery.
He was sure that Father Bratac would never let them stand on this ground again.
Grunting, he shovelled out another portion of dirt, expect this time instead of meeting more soft ground, they heard the metal of the shovel connect with something distinctly solid.
“Daniel?” Vala questioned as she hopped off the vespa.
He didn’t bother to answer her as he crouched down and began pushing the dirty away with his hands. Soon he felt worn wood under his palm
“It’s a barrel.”
“Well, let’s open it, darling?”
“Yeah, lets.”
Inside the chest was collection of items that Daniel could already catalogue as historically priceless. But the thing he focused on was the small leather bound journal, it’s pages yellow with age and its ink so light that even with the flash light, it was a struggle to make out the words. He pulled out of the collection of small jewels and flipped it open.
“To my everlasting relief, after years of toil on this lonely place, I have finally stumbled upon a suitable place for my cargo. Fortified by nature against the encroachments accidental or deliberate of those who have forced their tongues to betray this trust. The low December tide shows the only way in and the only way out. From January to November the beached whale’s spout blocks all, thus the vault is rendered virtually impenetrable. This is the key to infinite treasure.” He read, translating the Spanish on the page as he spoke.
Next to him, Vala questioned, “The beached whale’s spout? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, la sopladura de la ballena varada sera la llave de un tesoro infinito,” Daniel repeated the original text.
Slowly he watched as Vala face lit up and her lips curled only slightly at their corner, “It’s a blowhole.” She spoke quietly, like she couldn’t believe that the answer was that simple.
And Daniel knew exactly which blowhole she was talking about, “It’s the one at Cliffton point.”
“It has to be. The low December tide…that’s the winter solstice and the water drops so low,”
“That the mouth of the blowhole, which is normally under fifteen-twenty feet of water is visible to the naked eye.”
Suddenly both of them understood just how Orlin and his crew managed to hide the Queen’s Dowry, because except for those few days out of the year, nobody would be able to even suspect that in that small cave under the water, could anyone manage to survive fitting a treasure of its size. Unless they knew to wait, and Orlin had.
The smiles that Daniel and Vala rewarded each other matched, and Vala whispered, almost reverently, “Did we just find our treasure.”
“Sounds like you did indeed.”
The answer didn’t come from either of them, and they both turned to see Baal, Jarran, and Kanan stroll up behind them.
-
Vala felt her spine stiffen at Baal’s voice and she shared a worried look with Daniel as they stood up to face the intruders. Plastering a smile on her face she greeted the group, “Hello, Baal. What bring you around here at this time of night?”
Baal lifted one eyebrow, “Give me the book, Vala.”
Vala grabbed the book from Daniel, giving him a look, and shrugged, “Come on, Baal, are you sure you don’t want to give to the new guy!” And as she spoke those last words she launched the book at Kanan’s face, making him stumble back, the gun he had pointed at them going off in the air. Vala then chose to tackle the fallen man as Daniel, behind her, reached down and picked up the shovel, swinging it and hitting Jarran in the stomach.
As he made contact, Jarran stumbled and tripped into Baal, who fell to the ground.
Vala was too busy trying to connect her fist with Kanan’s face that she missed this, but she could hear as Baal and Jarran stood up and keep advancing on Daniel.
Kanan took her momentary distraction to flip them over and Vala gritted her teeth against his grip on her wrist, lifting her knee up to connect with a very delicate area. As Kanan rolled to the side in pain, Vala scrambled up from the ground and rushed to the vespa.
“Daniel! Come on!” she yelled, as she watch him move to hit Baal, who ducked, saving himself from some plastic surgery.
Rushing over to her, Daniel tossed her the shovel, and moved to take the seat as Kanan stood up and went to grab for his gun. She jumped on behind him and with one last well placed swing, she hit Jarran square in the face as they rushed down the hill as fast the vespa would take them.
They weren’t even twenty feet away when they felt the air pressure change and Kanan’s shots starting to connect with the trees around them.
Vala pressed herself against Daniel, urging him to go faster and the bark of tree exploded next to them. They were getting farther from Baal and his men by the second but in no way did that mean they were safe yet. Leaves and branches were whipping around their faces and Vala could feel their scratches on her arms. Looking back to make sure that they had a suitable amount of distance between themselves and Baal, she heard Daniel’s warning for her to duck a little too late.
The next thing Vala knew she was on the ground, her head aching and in front of her, Daniel was losing control of the vespa.
“Daniel!” she screamed, rushing to where he was weaving between the trees when she heard him scream as he went over the cliff they had been riding by.
Shocked, Vala couldn’t move as she felt the warmth of the fire from the explosion of the vespa against the rock face. She began moving towards it, because this couldn’t be it, Daniel couldn’t be dead and she sure as hell wasn’t going to allow him to be. Before she could take another step forward a hand curled over her shoulder and forced her back.
Kanan.
And right behind him, with a smile on his face, was Baal.
-
At the bottom of the cliff in the small pool of water, Daniel surfaced. From above he could hear Vala’s cursing as Baal and his men dragged her away.
Looking at his surrounding, he knew there was only one thing left for him to do.
Now, he just needed to get to the nearest phone.
Swimming to the shore, he barely took a second to catch his breath before he raced towards the town.
-
Vala was being dragged to Cliffton Point, were she could see the blowhole spouting its water toward the sky. Part of her still felt numb. Daniel…
He couldn’t be gone. It was just wrong, unbelievable. She rejected this reality.
As the group of three reached the blowhole, Baal being too comfortable of a man to even consider making the trek across the jetty, Kanan turned to Vala as the waves crashed against the rocks behind him.
“After this wave, you have about thirty seconds…” he instructed, as Jarran handed Vala a large underwater flashlight, probably so she could see down there.
Narrowing her eyes at the tall man, she couldn’t believe it. Did they honestly expected her to go down there, after they had just possibly attributed to her husband’s death. They had to be insane, and she? She was not amused.
Gripping the flashlight, she turned to Jarran and hit him over the head with it. He stumbled to the ground and Vala turned to Kanan, when she saw the gun he had pointed at her. From the ground, Jarran groaned, and the blowhole released its water again.
“Get in the hole,” he ordered, tossing the rope he had over his shoulder to her.
“Fuck off,” Vala spat at him, but knew that at the moment she had no other choice. Taking the rope, she tied it around her waist and began making her descent down the blowhole. The rock was jagged and slippery, making the situation even more precarious than the guns she had pointed at her, but Vala managed to make her way down without killing herself. She was about twenty feet down when she reached the water, and taking a look at her surroundings, she saw no gold. Only small hermit crabs and seaweed.
“It’s not here!” she shouted back up.
“Check underwater!” Kanan’s response was followed by the splash of a mask.
“I already told you, THERE’S NOTHING BUT ROCK, ARE YOU DEAF!” she screamed, her anger finally coming out. These men had tried to kill her multiple times already and Daniel, they had… She had had it. “IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, GET YOUR SORRY ASSES DOWN HERE, YOU LAPDOG.”
She could only hear some muffled arguing, when suddenly the rest of the rope slashed next to her and with wide eyes, she stared up where Kanan’s face was smirking down at her.
“YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN,” she yelled, just as the water in the hole began converging again for another release. She had to get herself out of here. If the water released when she was still here, the pressure itself would smack her not so pleasantly into the rocks and push her body up, quite possibly ripping it apart. Grabbing at the mask and rope, she took a breath and dived down under the water, unaware that back at the top Kanan and Jarran were battle with each other over where or not she should be saved.
Under the water, she followed the cavern, hoping to find an exit or at the very least a place where to secure herself with the rope. As she swam, she turned a small corner and almost let go of the precious air in her lungs, as she came face to face with a stack of chests.
The Queen’s Dowery.
Sadly, there was no time to revel in the fact that she and Daniel had discovered the find of the century, because she could see the wave of water rushing at her. Moving forward, she secured herself against one the cannons that still resided in the cavern and gripped it with all her strength as water rushed all around her.
She didn’t notice that she dislodged a chest and that it was currently floating towards the blowhole, the water pushing it upwards.
-
Topside, Kanan and Jarran’s moment re-enacting a scene form the OK Coral came to an end as gold coins littered over them as the blowhole released its secret.
-
As soon as the wave of water was over, Vala swam back to the blowhole’s tide pool, taking a deep breath when she broke the surface. Hearing Kanan on the phone, she plastered herself against the rock wall, hoping they wouldn’t see her. This would all work better if they thought she was dead and until she could figure out a way out of this mess.
FANDOM: SG-1
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala. Minor other pairings, including a slash one.
GENRE: Romance/Humour/Action-Adventure/Angst/AU. It's a plethora of genres, lets see how I make them work together.
RATING: R
WARNINGS/SPOILERS: None, AU of crack is cracky. I have no shame in this.
SUMMARY: In the waters of the Caribbean lie treasures unfound, leave it to Vala and Daniel to look for the one that causes them the most trouble. (originally written for the dv_exchange)
A/N: Lots of action in the following chapters. Things start speeding up.
( part i: original comm link)
part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | part vi | part vii
Daniel was inwardly chastising himself. He had just slept with his wife-ex-wife! He just slept with his ex-wife in a church for god's sake, and as they searched for the Odisea’s headstone, he hated that all he was thinking about was doing it again.
After their moment in the archives of the church, Vala had climbed off of him pressing a kiss to his cheek, before fixing her clothes.
“Well, that wasn’t part of the plan,” she smiled, looking down at him as he pulled his own shorts back on, reaching for his discarded shirt.
“Vala.”
“Can’t say it wasn’t great though, and we never did have break up sex,” she rattled on and Daniel knew this was classic Vala. She didn’t want to deal with the implications of what had just happened between them, and to be perfectly honest, he didn’t really feel like it either. So, he went along with it.
Standing, he rolled his shoulders, hearing the bones pop- floor sex wasn’t glamourous as it used to be. “We should head up to the cemetery.”
Vala had looked over at him, partly in relief that he was letting their situation rest for now, and partly in excitement. Neither of them had forgotten what was waiting for them up there.
“Yes, let’s go, darling,” she had exclaimed, already half way out of the room.
Now, after a good ten minutes of searching around the cemetery, both of them were feeling their patience wearing thin. They still hadn’t found the headstone and the sun had long set, leaving them only with old flashlights and moonlight. Not an ideal situation and he was exhausted. Not to mention he had just had sex in a church and was planning to dig up a grave. He was sure he was going to hell after tonight.
At least he’d be in good company.
“Vala, have you found anything?” he called out, rubbing at his tired eyes.
“Not a bloody thing, stupid bloody cemetery!” she growled, kicking at the ground. Even from where he was, across the cemetery, he heard the sound of her foot connecting with something.
“BLOODY FUCKING HELL, I HATE THIS PLACE!” she yelled to the skies, dropping to the ground, cradling her foot to her chest.
“I’m almost positive that’s sacrilegious,” he joked, wincing when he caught the look she gave him. Sighing, Daniel stood and turn to make his way toward her. “Vala. Vala, come on let me take a look,” he coaxed as she glared at him.
“No,” she muttered, giving the rock that tripped her the stink eye.
Daniel rolled his eyes, and went to lift up the rock when Vala’s eye grew wide.
“Daniel, stop!”
Immediately, he did, and cursed his action. The rocked weighed a good twenty pounds in his arms and Vala wasn’t letting him put it down.
“Vala,” he gritted out, “there better be a good reason for this.”
Vala’s eyes moved from they had been on the rock, and lock onto to his. “Just look here,” she brushed her hand over the rough surface of the rock facing her so Daniel had to tilt his head to get a good look at what she was taking about.
There, etched on the surface was one word.
Odisea.
They had found the grave.
-
Immediately after they realised they had found the grave of the Odisea, Vala had rushed to the shed by the side of the church and came back with a shovel. Now Daniel watched as she perched herself on the vespa as he took his turn at digging. They had been digging for the past twenty minutes and so far had nothing to show for it except for a giant hole in the middle of a cemetery.
He was sure that Father Bratac would never let them stand on this ground again.
Grunting, he shovelled out another portion of dirt, expect this time instead of meeting more soft ground, they heard the metal of the shovel connect with something distinctly solid.
“Daniel?” Vala questioned as she hopped off the vespa.
He didn’t bother to answer her as he crouched down and began pushing the dirty away with his hands. Soon he felt worn wood under his palm
“It’s a barrel.”
“Well, let’s open it, darling?”
“Yeah, lets.”
Inside the chest was collection of items that Daniel could already catalogue as historically priceless. But the thing he focused on was the small leather bound journal, it’s pages yellow with age and its ink so light that even with the flash light, it was a struggle to make out the words. He pulled out of the collection of small jewels and flipped it open.
“To my everlasting relief, after years of toil on this lonely place, I have finally stumbled upon a suitable place for my cargo. Fortified by nature against the encroachments accidental or deliberate of those who have forced their tongues to betray this trust. The low December tide shows the only way in and the only way out. From January to November the beached whale’s spout blocks all, thus the vault is rendered virtually impenetrable. This is the key to infinite treasure.” He read, translating the Spanish on the page as he spoke.
Next to him, Vala questioned, “The beached whale’s spout? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, la sopladura de la ballena varada sera la llave de un tesoro infinito,” Daniel repeated the original text.
Slowly he watched as Vala face lit up and her lips curled only slightly at their corner, “It’s a blowhole.” She spoke quietly, like she couldn’t believe that the answer was that simple.
And Daniel knew exactly which blowhole she was talking about, “It’s the one at Cliffton point.”
“It has to be. The low December tide…that’s the winter solstice and the water drops so low,”
“That the mouth of the blowhole, which is normally under fifteen-twenty feet of water is visible to the naked eye.”
Suddenly both of them understood just how Orlin and his crew managed to hide the Queen’s Dowry, because except for those few days out of the year, nobody would be able to even suspect that in that small cave under the water, could anyone manage to survive fitting a treasure of its size. Unless they knew to wait, and Orlin had.
The smiles that Daniel and Vala rewarded each other matched, and Vala whispered, almost reverently, “Did we just find our treasure.”
“Sounds like you did indeed.”
The answer didn’t come from either of them, and they both turned to see Baal, Jarran, and Kanan stroll up behind them.
-
Vala felt her spine stiffen at Baal’s voice and she shared a worried look with Daniel as they stood up to face the intruders. Plastering a smile on her face she greeted the group, “Hello, Baal. What bring you around here at this time of night?”
Baal lifted one eyebrow, “Give me the book, Vala.”
Vala grabbed the book from Daniel, giving him a look, and shrugged, “Come on, Baal, are you sure you don’t want to give to the new guy!” And as she spoke those last words she launched the book at Kanan’s face, making him stumble back, the gun he had pointed at them going off in the air. Vala then chose to tackle the fallen man as Daniel, behind her, reached down and picked up the shovel, swinging it and hitting Jarran in the stomach.
As he made contact, Jarran stumbled and tripped into Baal, who fell to the ground.
Vala was too busy trying to connect her fist with Kanan’s face that she missed this, but she could hear as Baal and Jarran stood up and keep advancing on Daniel.
Kanan took her momentary distraction to flip them over and Vala gritted her teeth against his grip on her wrist, lifting her knee up to connect with a very delicate area. As Kanan rolled to the side in pain, Vala scrambled up from the ground and rushed to the vespa.
“Daniel! Come on!” she yelled, as she watch him move to hit Baal, who ducked, saving himself from some plastic surgery.
Rushing over to her, Daniel tossed her the shovel, and moved to take the seat as Kanan stood up and went to grab for his gun. She jumped on behind him and with one last well placed swing, she hit Jarran square in the face as they rushed down the hill as fast the vespa would take them.
They weren’t even twenty feet away when they felt the air pressure change and Kanan’s shots starting to connect with the trees around them.
Vala pressed herself against Daniel, urging him to go faster and the bark of tree exploded next to them. They were getting farther from Baal and his men by the second but in no way did that mean they were safe yet. Leaves and branches were whipping around their faces and Vala could feel their scratches on her arms. Looking back to make sure that they had a suitable amount of distance between themselves and Baal, she heard Daniel’s warning for her to duck a little too late.
The next thing Vala knew she was on the ground, her head aching and in front of her, Daniel was losing control of the vespa.
“Daniel!” she screamed, rushing to where he was weaving between the trees when she heard him scream as he went over the cliff they had been riding by.
Shocked, Vala couldn’t move as she felt the warmth of the fire from the explosion of the vespa against the rock face. She began moving towards it, because this couldn’t be it, Daniel couldn’t be dead and she sure as hell wasn’t going to allow him to be. Before she could take another step forward a hand curled over her shoulder and forced her back.
Kanan.
And right behind him, with a smile on his face, was Baal.
-
At the bottom of the cliff in the small pool of water, Daniel surfaced. From above he could hear Vala’s cursing as Baal and his men dragged her away.
Looking at his surrounding, he knew there was only one thing left for him to do.
Now, he just needed to get to the nearest phone.
Swimming to the shore, he barely took a second to catch his breath before he raced towards the town.
-
Vala was being dragged to Cliffton Point, were she could see the blowhole spouting its water toward the sky. Part of her still felt numb. Daniel…
He couldn’t be gone. It was just wrong, unbelievable. She rejected this reality.
As the group of three reached the blowhole, Baal being too comfortable of a man to even consider making the trek across the jetty, Kanan turned to Vala as the waves crashed against the rocks behind him.
“After this wave, you have about thirty seconds…” he instructed, as Jarran handed Vala a large underwater flashlight, probably so she could see down there.
Narrowing her eyes at the tall man, she couldn’t believe it. Did they honestly expected her to go down there, after they had just possibly attributed to her husband’s death. They had to be insane, and she? She was not amused.
Gripping the flashlight, she turned to Jarran and hit him over the head with it. He stumbled to the ground and Vala turned to Kanan, when she saw the gun he had pointed at her. From the ground, Jarran groaned, and the blowhole released its water again.
“Get in the hole,” he ordered, tossing the rope he had over his shoulder to her.
“Fuck off,” Vala spat at him, but knew that at the moment she had no other choice. Taking the rope, she tied it around her waist and began making her descent down the blowhole. The rock was jagged and slippery, making the situation even more precarious than the guns she had pointed at her, but Vala managed to make her way down without killing herself. She was about twenty feet down when she reached the water, and taking a look at her surroundings, she saw no gold. Only small hermit crabs and seaweed.
“It’s not here!” she shouted back up.
“Check underwater!” Kanan’s response was followed by the splash of a mask.
“I already told you, THERE’S NOTHING BUT ROCK, ARE YOU DEAF!” she screamed, her anger finally coming out. These men had tried to kill her multiple times already and Daniel, they had… She had had it. “IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, GET YOUR SORRY ASSES DOWN HERE, YOU LAPDOG.”
She could only hear some muffled arguing, when suddenly the rest of the rope slashed next to her and with wide eyes, she stared up where Kanan’s face was smirking down at her.
“YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN,” she yelled, just as the water in the hole began converging again for another release. She had to get herself out of here. If the water released when she was still here, the pressure itself would smack her not so pleasantly into the rocks and push her body up, quite possibly ripping it apart. Grabbing at the mask and rope, she took a breath and dived down under the water, unaware that back at the top Kanan and Jarran were battle with each other over where or not she should be saved.
Under the water, she followed the cavern, hoping to find an exit or at the very least a place where to secure herself with the rope. As she swam, she turned a small corner and almost let go of the precious air in her lungs, as she came face to face with a stack of chests.
The Queen’s Dowery.
Sadly, there was no time to revel in the fact that she and Daniel had discovered the find of the century, because she could see the wave of water rushing at her. Moving forward, she secured herself against one the cannons that still resided in the cavern and gripped it with all her strength as water rushed all around her.
She didn’t notice that she dislodged a chest and that it was currently floating towards the blowhole, the water pushing it upwards.
-
Topside, Kanan and Jarran’s moment re-enacting a scene form the OK Coral came to an end as gold coins littered over them as the blowhole released its secret.
-
As soon as the wave of water was over, Vala swam back to the blowhole’s tide pool, taking a deep breath when she broke the surface. Hearing Kanan on the phone, she plastered herself against the rock wall, hoping they wouldn’t see her. This would all work better if they thought she was dead and until she could figure out a way out of this mess.