Fic: Only Fools (R) (1/9)
*reposted from dv_exchange comm since it's going to be a multichapter and I'd like to have it all in one place for future reference and linking. :D
TITLE: ONLY FOOLS
FANDOM: SG-1
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala. Minor other pairings, including a slash one.
GENRE: Romance/Humour/Action-Adventure/Angst/AU.
RATING: R
WARNINGS/SPOILERS: None, AU of crack is cracky. I have no shame in this.
SUMMARY: In the waters of the Caribbean lie treasures unfound, leave it to Vala and Daniel to look for the one that causes them the most trouble.
BETA: little_giddy, everything else is all me.
A/N: written for natalia5345 in the dv_exchange
A/N 2: once upon a time I watched a less than stellar movie, and the only way I managed to sit through it all without headdesking and eyerolling was to think of Daniel and Vala in the lead roles (being awesomely ridiculous). It was a coping mechanism! The exchange came around and next think I know I’m writing this insane AU. This fic has a lot action, a lot of comedy, and a lot of Vala getting herself in and out of precarious situations. Oh, and because this is an AU based in a heightened cracky world, I'm taking out all the apostrophes from certain names, ie. Teal'c becomes Tealc.... call it a creative decision, why? Idk, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ONLY FOOLS
On July 24th 1715, in celebration of the marriage of King Philip of Spain, the largest treasure fleet in the maritime history set sail from Havana, Cuba.
The 500 million dollars worth of gold, silver, and jewels came to be known as the Queen’s Dowry. Unfortunately, in his eagerness to consummate the marriage, King Philip ordered the fleet to sail at the worst time of the year.
And so, the great galleons, heavy with their sparkling load, sailed straight into a massive hurricane…
… And were never seen again.
Prologue:
It's all Sarah and Stephen's fault for thinking they needed a break from Dr. Jordan's class and for convincing him that the Caribbean was the cure. The result landed him at the dingy bar, The Jaffa, in Key West. Alone. Despite spending the majority of his life surrounded by sand, he was not used to the ocean and, really, joining Sarah and Stephen for their midnight swim was not in his plans for the night. Then again, neither was staring at the brunette in the illegally short cut-offs and white tank top for half the night.
He had noticed her early on in the evening; it was hard not to. She had been playing darts alongside a tall tanned man with brown but obviously greying hair and, from the looks of it, winning. That had been hours ago and the man was gone. Sarah and Stephen had left not that long ago and the brunette had seated herself not too far from him in the bar. While she kept ordering Coronas, Daniel stuck to tonic water, the impulse to head back to his hotel room staved by the fact he couldn't manage to keep his eyes from the woman for too long. Before he had left, arms around Sarah's shoulders, Stephen had (drunkenly and maybe honestly) told Daniel not to bother as the brunette was clearly out of his league and while he didn't like to admit it, Daniel was pretty sure Stephen had a point.
Still, she kept moving closer to him on the bar and for god's sake, sweat shouldn't look so good on anyone. Sighing, Daniel signalled the bartender for another drink when a husky voice broke in.
"Muscles, forgo the tonic water he's ordering and grabs us a couple Coronas, on me."
Daniel's head snapped to the side in disbelief and blinked as the bartender answered, "Indeed."
Next to him, near the stool to his right, now stood the brunette leaning against the bar so close to him he could see the outline of the bikini she wore underneath her top. Her smile practically blinded him, "Hi, there."
"Uh, hi," Daniel swallowed. "Um, you really don't need to get me a drink, I'm fine with my water."
"You've been drinking that all night," she smiled, "I think it's about time you upgraded."
Daniel looked towards where the bartender sat the two beers down in front of them with a nod to the woman and shook his head, eyeing the yellow liquid. "I'm not that big of a drinker."
Again, she just smiled, this time lifting the longneck bottle to her lips, taking a long drink. Daniel watched as she swallowed, following the movements in her neck and felt his muscles tensing. Blushing when he noticed her watching him.
"Can't handle it?" She titled her head towards him, her voice low.
Daniel shifted in his seat, a tightness coiling in his lower body. "Not according to my friends."
"Well now, then it's my duty to fix that." She pulled the Corona away from him and signalled the bartender again, "Two shots of Mr. Cuervo, por favor, for me and my new friend. We have to teach him how we do things here." She had tilted her face towards him, half of her body practically pressed against his side and Daniel really looked for a reason to argue. He knew alcohol wasn't his best friend, the few dorm parties Sarah had dragged him to were proof of that, but none of the co-eds he encountered had smiled at him like this woman was doing right now.
He shook his head, "I really don't think I should."
She laughed, nodding a thank you as the bartender - Tealc - set the drinks down, "The Caribbean, darling, isn't about should, it's about want. Now, do you want to? I promise to take care of you." She licked her wrist and sprikling salt on the spot. Her eyes never left his and the look of fake-innocence was both damning and completely alluring on her face. Daniel nodded. He was in university, wasn't he? It was the time to live a little, right?
"One shot." He picked up the salt, following the lick and sprinkle motion she had just demonstrated.
"Deal," she smiled and handed him his shot glass.
He took it, "Daniel, by the way."
"Vala. Cheers,” she clinked her glass against his, still smiling, and Daniel knew: trouble.
The shots were downed and the night subsequently turned into a blur.
--
The next morning Daniel woke up feeling his head was being used to open a crypt and moaned, turning to his side.
"When you said you weren't a big drinker, you weren't kidding." He heard from somewhere above him. Opening his eyes, he blinked, his eyes immediately closing again at the light that was streaming through wherever he was.
"Where am I?" he asked, groggily.
"My bed." Came the answer and right away Daniel bolted up in said bed. His head protesting every step of the way.
"Where?" He blinked against the light, his eyes now adjusting slightly to the brightness of the room where he could see the figure of a tall brunette woman. A familiar brunette woman. "Vala?"
She stepped forward, her figure unblurring and she sat down at his side. Handing him a glass of water, she also handed him his glasses, which he slipped on, wincing at the now in focus brightness of the room now was.
"And here I was worried you wouldn't remember..." She smiled softly and Daniel was struck by how pretty she was in the soft sunlight that streamed through her window. Last night, from what he still remembered he had been in awe of her exotic beauty. The legs too, but now, she was just really, really pretty.
"I remember you, I just don't remember how I got here." He motioned to the smallish room they were in, blushing when he noticed the bed. And the fact that he was on the bed. In just his t-shirt and boxers. He gulped. Looking at Vala he noticed she wasn't that much better, but still her too big white shirt and cotton shorts, from which he could see a bikini string poking out from meant she at least had two more items of clothing on than he did.
She just patted his hand and moved off the bed, "Don't worry - nothing illicit happened, much to my disappointment, I'll let you know." She winked. "After the third shot, you were already pissed.”
“Pissed?” What? Oh, wait, the accent…
“Drunk, darling. Remind me to work on your tolerance," she smiled, "so Muscles helped me move you to my room. You're lucky I live just above the bar."
"Oh." Daniel nodded, disappointment crawling into the pit of his stomach. He didn't know whether he was disappointed he and Vala didn't sleep together or that he had bombed his first proper drinking night. He figured it was the sex, it had been a while.
"We'll go for round two tonight, deal?" Vala smiled over her shoulder, picking up a bag filled with what looked like maps. "Right now, I have to go to work. Your trousers." She tossed the latter over her shoulder.
Daniel caught them, and fighting a wave of shyness stood in the middle of Vala's room and slipped them on -- it's not like you're naked, Daniel, he thought -- staring as Vala grabbed random objects around the room.
"Where do you work?" He asked, zipping up his kakis, "I don't think we got that far last night... Uh, I mean..."
Vala turned, waving him to the door, but there was no rush in her movements, "Well, I'm a surf instructor by day, but the work I really do is I hunt for ships."
"What!?" Daniel didn’t know much about the Caribbean, but he had heard of the “new age pirates” that littered the waters, boarding fancy yachts and stealing, but he would have never pegged Vala for one. Not that she wouldn’t look amazing in billowing white shirts and leather breeches. He coughed. Wow, he really had had too much to drink last night.
Vala rolled her eyes, "Sunken ships, Daniel!” She corrected, her grin bright and warm like the sun streaming through the window. “I'm, I guess you can call me, a treasure hunter. I go diving for wrecks."
"Oh? Wait, like Spanish galleons? Have you found any? I know that Nassau and the Keys are some of the chief wreakage sites in western hemisphere. Back in Chicago I catalogued the entire contents of a ship found of the coast of Jamaica; it was called The Dauntless, an English ship from the 1800's." Daniel rambled on, he had always found the stories of the sunken Caribbean ships fascinating - and one of the reason he allowed himself to be dragged down for spring break.
It was obvious from Vala's sparkling eyes that his interest had intrigued her. "You like Caribbean history?"
Daniel blushed, "I'm an archaeology major. I like history in general."
Vala's laugh was bright and bubbly, increasing Daniel's blush. "Come on then! I'll introduce you to Jack, he's the Big Kahuna for the wreck diving on the island. Used to dive for the SEALs and everything."
"Oh, I don't know, I should head back to my hotel."
"Come on, Daniel, it will be fun. Plus, what are you going to be doing in your hotel room that's more interesting that this?"
Daniel thought about the pages of notes he had on his dissertation and how Stephen and Sarah kept rolling their eyes at him when he would decide to stay inside rather than join them and licked his lips. "Okay, just don't get me killed by sharks or anything."
Vala wrapped an arm around his and pulled him forward, "Of course not, darling, I still need to get you into bed, and with less clothing."
Daniel choked, glancing at Vala, but didn't pull away.
--
By the end of the week, they hadn't spent a night apart, Daniel had uncovered a sunken canon, as well as a knack for wreck diving, properly identifying what they found with record speed, and a taste for the ocean. On their last night, much to Sarah and Stephen’s shock, Daniel told them that he had decided to take the next semester off. Choosing to stay in Key West finishing the search for the The San Pedro, which Jack and Vala were looking into. His decision hadn’t come lightly but it felt right. Nicholas had always told him to stop living in the books and actually experience archaeology, in the sand, in the dirt, and apparently the water.
There was only one thing Daniel hadn’t told them and that was that the money he had received when he cashed in his plane ticket was already spent on a ring he was keeping hidden in suitcase. An impulsive action, but he just remembered Vala's smile after he surfaced that first time from the water, the joy on her face at his first discovery. He had known it then, he was already half in love with her.
One month later after they uncovered the hull of The San Pedro Vala said yes.
--
Eight Years Later
On a small boat floating idly of the coast of one of the Florida Keys, the compressor that stood on its aft shook and caught fire. It was an old compressor that should have never been stolen from the junkyard it was found in, but acquiring it had been a solution to a dire situation.
Had there been anyone on board the boat this small fire wouldn’t have been a problem, but the boat was empty, its owner deep underwater, searching. Had there been somebody on board they could have stopped the fire and in result stopped the sparks that flew from the compressor and ignited one of the many towels on the boat’s deck. The towel began a slow burn that began moving across the material to reach the many papers and other flammable objects on the small boat.
Soon, the boat, Prometheus, was engulfed in flames.
Deep under the water it was sinking into, its owner kept searching.
--
Vala kicked underwater, her body gently held down by the tank strapped to her back as she searched the ocean floor for anything that would lead her to her prize. Next to her, Cameron did the same, shaking the hose as he moved it in front of him. Part of her felt guilty for not letting Daniel know about this, but considering they currently weren’t speaking, she gathered he wouldn’t mind much.
She, still, couldn’t believe they hadn’t spoke in over a month. He wasn’t even staying in their flat anymore, choosing to stay, well, she wasn’t really sure. They hadn’t got that far into that subject last time they spoke, especially with her throwing the lamp at him.
Eight years of relative married bliss, save the monthly, all right, weekly, spats (followed by the fantastic make up sex) they tended to have, and it was only now they had resorted to not speaking.
Bringing her attention back to the matter at hand, she waved her hands in front of Cameron’s mask, getting the man’s attention. Asking with her hands at why the compressor wasn’t working properly, her answer was cut off when a wave of sand blanketed her and Cameron’s sight. They both tried to see through the sand cloud to see what caused it, seeing nothing in the thick sand they turned to each other, shrugged and Vala went back to checking the hose with Cameron.
She could already see in Cameron’s eyes that he was lamenting letting her talk him into getting the compressor through less than honest means, but she decided to ignore it for now. She hadn’t the funds to get a proper one and with Daniel not speaking to her, she couldn’t have very well use her husband’s good looks and sincere smile as the bargaining tool she had come to rely on. Her own looks and flirtatious grins only worked on certain types, Daniel’s worked on everyone else.
Checking her air she focused on the cheap hose, but before she could wordlessly argue with Cameron another sand cloud, larger than the last one by far covered the area surrounding her and Cameron and she motioned to the surface. Cameron nodded and together they kicked up. Before she began moving up though her eyes caught a fragment of white moving in the cloud and snatched out to grab it. As soon as her fingers curled over the piece of white porcelain she continued moving.
They broke the surface at the same time and looked towards the ship.
Except it wasn’t there.
Blinking and pushing her mask away from her face, Vala narrowed her eyes. “Cameron! Where’s the boat?”
“How should I know? I was down there with you.” He rolled his eyes, allowing Vala to wonder why she kept him around as her best friend still.
“It couldn’t have stolen.” She looked around at the wide expanse of ocean and wrinkled her nose, Cameron splashing behind her. “Where’s my boat!?”
“Oh, fuck,” Cameron breathed.
Vala did not like the sound of it. “What?”
“Just think about it for a second.” She really didn’t like the sound of his voice, and cringing she pulled her mask over her eyes and pressed her face to the water. Please no.
There it was, decorating the seabed like all the ships she had dedicated her life to finding.
Her and Daniel’s boat.
“No, no, no!” Vala exclaimed, snapping the mask over her face and diving back down. She kicked to the bottom, her heart beating erratically in her chest, the only thought in the head: Daniel is going to kill me.
Making her way into the inside of the boat, she looked at her maps, their notes slowly getting ruined, and then remembering, she moved to the left where tucked in between a map of the Keys and a picture of a Spanish galleon was a picture of her and Daniel. It was the picture of the day they bought the boat. Vala blinked behind her mask.
He’s going to kill me, was quickly followed by: we were so happy that day.
Snatching the picture she tucked it into one of her suit’s pockets and swam back up to where Cameron was still bouyant. Breaking the surface again she was about to mention her thoughts of Daniel inflicted death to her friend when he became aware of the nine millimetre pointed at them.
Fuck.
Looking up she came face to face with two of Ba’al’s more idiotic henchmen. “Gentlemen.”
“I told them that the boat sank.” Cameron helpfully put in, earning him a glare.
“Thank you, Cameron.”
From the small speed boat above them Henchman One waved the gun at Vala. “Come with us.”
“Just me?” She grinned as angelically as she could.
“We only need one of you, and this one,” he waved his gun to Cameron, “does not owe us money.”
“So I’m free to go? Great!” Cameron smiled cheekily at Vala and saluted. “See you later, princess.”
Vala splashed water at his face. “I hope a shark eats you.”
Cameron laughed, splashing back, but already moving to the shore. “Love you too.”
Watching her friend swim back to shore, Vala had to admit she felt a big relief. This way they weren’t both in Ba’al’s cross-hairs and she knew that if she didn’t check in with Cameron in twelve hours he’d know something was wrong and warn all the appropriate people.
Turning back to the men on the boat, she flashed a grin. “So boys, a hand?”
--
The problem with Daniel’s life at the moment was that despite being almost broke, just this side of disillusioned with the way his life had turned out, and working a job he could do in his sleep, he was still in love with his wife. His wife, who despite being the most amazing woman he had ever met, was partly responsible for them being broke. Ever since they parted ways with Jack their income had been spotty at best, their brief stint in Spain notwithstanding, and while they both worked, it was hardly enough to keep up with the loans they both had piling up.
Vala still held on to the dream of finding her big payday in the Caribbean waters and Daniel still hoped for the discovery that would make his career.
As he made his way up the galley into the yacht’s kitchen he ran a hand through his hair as he came upon the yacht’s chef, sous-chef and captain. Rodney McKay and Carson Beckett were as usual arguing about something, this time as far as Daniel could tell it was who could make the better sandwich-specifically the ratio of turkey to mustard. Daniel was sure that for them bickering was just a form of foreplay by now. The captain of the yacht, John Sheppard, just looked on with amusement as he scarfed down his turkey sandwich, and also the clear instigator of the couple’s culinary battle today if the smirk on his face is anything to go by. John, Daniel had learned during his short time on the ship, might be Rodney’s best friend, but he and Carson teamed up against the man anyway and normally just for fun.
“Rodney,” he could hear Carson start in his I’m Humouring You voice, “certain sandwiches can handle certain condiments that others cannot. It is also a matter of personal taste.”
“Personal taste is an idiotic idea!”
Shaking his head at the constantly bickering duo, he lifted his hand in greeting. “Morning.”
Rodney snapped his head towards Daniel, cutting knife waving wildly in hand. “Finally, somebody with sense! Daniel tell this man who deems to call himself a chef, that you don’t put the lettuce right next to the bread, it causes the bread to lose its integrity and could collapse your entire sandwich.”
Across from Rodney, Carson just gave Daniel and amused smile, telling Daniel that he was just enjoying winding Rodney up.
Daniel needed some amusement today. “Well, I think it would depend on what type of bread you’re using.”
“Oh, my God. I am living on a ship full of barbarians. Take this to Mr. Landry.” Thrusting the dinner plate at Daniel, Rodney then proceeded to kick them out of the galley with curses upon their souls and taste buds. “And remember to thank him for accommodating you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I’m really grateful for that,” he sighed.
Behind Carson, Rodney snorted. “You might want to work on that sincerity.”
Daniel glared and was prepared to just continue on his way when John, stopped him, clasping a friendly hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Hey, so tomorrow the day?”
Daniel hoped he hid his wince and nodded. He suddenly wished he hadn’t confessed the other night during the crew’s weekly poker game that today he and Vala were meeting lawyers. The idea of divorce sat with a bad taste in his mouth, but Daniel felt he had finally reached the breaking point. He and Vala were barely speaking without fighting, he hadn’t lived in their apartment over Tealc’s in over a month. Instead finding job and lodgings on the Gateship, a yacht belonging to a very wealthy and surprisingly generous man, Henry Landry, a retired Air Force pilot and very successful defence contractor. Then finally when he received and an email from Sarah of all people telling him of hers and Stephen’s new dig that he made a call to the same lawyers that he and Vala had called six years ago, this time asking about divorce.
Eight years ago he would have never thought he and Vala would get to this point. Ever since the first night together they had been a team, a unit, but too many promises had been broken and too many things lost along the way. Their friendship with Jack, most of their money, dreams, the baby. They weren’t the same two kids that had fallen in love with each other and the ocean; they were brittle, not talking, not trusting, but worst of all, in Daniel’s opinion: still in love.
But not even that seemed to save them this time.
And inevitably, in Daniel’s opinion, divorce came up.
He still hated the look he put on Vala’s face when he mentioned it just over a month ago resulting in her slapping him, called him an idiot and flatly refusing. He can admit it might have been the coward’s way out, but in the long run he knew it had to be the better choice for them. It had to be, because he couldn’t stand the fighting anymore.
“Yes, tomorrow’s the day.” He nodded to John, shifting away from the pity he can see in the man.
John clapped his back, shaking his head. “From someone who’s gone through this several times, trust me, it’s never fun.”
“I didn’t expect it would be,” Daniel agreed, turning into the galley steps. As he reached the top he could hear Landry on the phone speaking to what Daniel assumed was an ex-wife as the words daughter and yes, of course were said in a tone of voice that reminded of his latest conversations with Vala.
Daniel had to agree with what John had said: divorce did not look like fun.
--
Over the course of her life Vala had been manhandled quite a bit and she had never once taken a liking to it. So at the moment as Jarran and Curtis pushed her into Ba’al’s club, Vala could say with a certain degree of certainty that she was not enjoying herself. At all. Ba’al really needed to get better henchman, she thought as they unceremoniously shoved her in front of the man.
Ba’al, as usual, looked impeccable in his white linen shirt and tan trousers, and were she not an almost happily married woman, she would even garner to use her feminine wiles on the man to buy herself some time. As it was, Vala was almost happily married to a man, who as infuriating as he was, she did love quite a lot, so out went that plan. Good thing she always made sure to have a plan B, sometimes a plan C, and very rarely plans D through F. (If she ever got past F she knew she was screwed no matter what.)
Glaring at the two goons who had just shoved, Vala turned a bright grin towards Ba’al. “You could have just called if you wanted to meet.”
Ba’al leaned back in his plush chair, rolling a cigar in between his thumb and forefinger, “Vala, you insult me. Had I called a meeting you would have never shown up, we both know that, anyway as it were,” he curled his lip, eyes travelling over her body, “I prefer my method of retrieval. It tends to be much more effective. Now, about my 62,581 dollars, where is it?”
Vala smiled, “To be quiet honest, it’s all over. Mainly the caribbean.”
“And why is that?”
“Debts need to paid, Ba’al, just like the one I owe you, you’ll get paid. I can’t very well leave myself with a line of bad credit or even worse a bad reputation with my contacts. How would that look?” Vala spoke, sitting herself down on the chair opposite Ba’al, paying no mind to the looks she was getting from his guards. “Can we speak about the plate now?”
“Why would I want to speak about this broken piece of porcelain?” Ba’al held the plate high in the air as if examining, his eyes narrowing as they looked at Vala.
“It’s not just any piece of porcelain. It has the Dessala family crest on it. And if you let me go back to where the boat is and retrieve my notebooks, then I can prove it to you.” Vala crossed her legs, acting more like she was in a business office wearing a sharp suit rather than the oversized shirt man’s Hawaiian shirt she had gotten off Ba’al’s goons over her bathing suit. She thought of Daniel’s notebooks, well, the ones he had left on the boat and sincerely wished that Ba’al would let her go and get them, as unlikely as it seemed.
As she guessed, Ba’al wasn’t keen on the idea, his sharp no, dashing about twenty percent of her hopes. Good thing she still had eighty percent left over. “Just look at the filigrees on the rim, Ba’al. Spanish carvings at its best.”
Ba’al stared hard at her over his lit cigar and set the plate down on the table. “I’m tired of this. Take her away!” He ordered two of his guards and Vala tensed as she felt their hands wrap, tightly, around her upper arms and lift her out her seat. Pulling one shoulder free, she glared at Ba’al.
“Fine, be rude. Can I have my plate back?” Please let me have it back, she thought, knowing what it meant if he answered no.
Ba’al met her glare and smirked, the bastard, “Oh, I think I’ll be keeping it since I don’t think you’ll need it where you’re going.”
Crap, sometimes Vala forgot just how clever Ba’al was.
“Well, it looks like you aren’t just a thug after all.” She said lightly, turning her body and throwing a left hook to the closest guard. It was a long shot she’d get out, but she had to try. As the man stumbled, Vala rushed forward when she felt someone grab her by the neck of the borrowed shirt, and pulled her back, hard. Vala met the ground with a hard crack and groaned as she watched as Ba’al filled her line of sight.
“Bad move, my dear. Very bad move.” Waving his hand, Ba’al ordered his guards forward again and as they once again lifted her up Vala decided that maybe it was time for plan F.
Fuck.
--
Watching as the shore got farther and farther away Vala hoped for a miracle, or even the Coast Guard, because she was going to need one or the other to help her out of this mess. Maybe she should have told Cam two hours, because from the looks of it she could be dead in twelve hours, well, now ten. Twirling her ankles, in the chains that bound them, Vala decided she was no longer a fan of iron.
Looking over at the two men, Vala tried for her most charming smile. “Boys, why don’t we talk about this. Without me Ba’al is never going to be able to find the Aurelia, as much as he thinks otherwise. The ocean’s a pretty big place after all and the wreck could be scattered over miles. You two could have part of my cut if you help me.” Eyeing the boat she looked for anything that could help her out.
“I don’t think so. Any last words?” Jarran asked as he pulled his gun on Vala. Well, thank you, Jarran.
“Yes,” Vala held her head high, “tell Daniel I love him.”
The other one, Curtis, eyed her, “Who’s Daniel?”
“My husband,” Vala started, dropping her shoulders, “at least he is for now. By ten o’clock tomorrow we’re getting divorced and for the life of me I can’t figure out what went wrong,” she paused and gave what she hoped was a truly pathetic look to Jarran, “where I went wrong.” It worked, she noticed as the man lowered his gun just a fraction of an inch before tucking into his pocket right in front of her.
“Well I’m sorry to tell you, you aren’t going to be finding out.” Jarran rolled his eyes, not buying her story completely, and frankly insulting Vala a little, moving towards her. Still, it was better than nothing and as soon as he was close enough, Vala headbutted him. As she felt him stumbled she ignored the pain in her head and focuses on getting the gun. As she hopped closer to him, she reached out to curled her fingers around it when she felt someone pull her back- Curtis. Clutching the gun in her hands, she shoved her elbow back and made contact with his groin.
She went to lift the gun in her hands and tried to point it at either one of the morons trying to kill her, when she felt her back make contact with the floor of the boat. She watched as Jarran scrambled up, his hands wrapped tightly around the chain connected to feet, pulling her towards the edge. Feeling the panic as it licked its way up her throat, Vala pulled the trigger, not caring about her aim, just hoping to hit something. At Jarran’s scream as the bullet took a chuck of his ear, she felt her feet drop, Vala moved to shoot the chains off, when Curtis’s hand grabbed at her hair and pulled her up.
“Start the boat!” He yelled at Jarran as he struggled with her, the drink cooler got kicked over as she did a ridiculous hop trying to stay on the boat, the man in front of her trying his best to do the opposite.
With a tight scream Vala of frustration fought against Curtis’s tight grip as he tried to push her overboard. Jarran coming up at her side and she swept the left hand, clutching the gun, trying to get the upper hand when she felt it. Her legs being pulled by a heavy weight as Curtis tossed the anchor attached to the chains binding her over the side. Scrambling for purchase, she grabbed hold of the boat’s ladder, holding on for dear life as Curtis tried to step on her hand, forcing her off. Tightening her fingers on the gun, she shot again, this time the bullet going through the man’s flimsy flipflop like paper cutting through his skin. At his yell of pain Vala let herself feel proud until she felt the boat’s engine start up.
The minute the boat began moving she felt her body pulled into two different directions: down towards the possibly inevitable death and forward as she tried not to lose her grip on the ladder. Grunting as the action and stress on her body became unbearable, Vala stuck the gun in her mouth, trying to strengthen her grip.
It didn’t last long as the ladder became more and more slick with water and her hands slipped off.
Feeling the anchor pulled her body under, Vala grabbed the gun and took one last deep breath as the ocean swallowed her up. Underwater, her eyes stung and the Hawaiian shirt she wore floated around her body, a useless cape. Knowing she couldn’t fight them, she let the weight of the chains drag her down to the ocean floor.
The second she felt the anchor hit the sand, her bound feet only a second behind, Vala closed her eyes and sent a quick prayer up as she opened her eyes and aimed at the lock holding the chains together, finding it ironic that it was the first time in a long while she was around a lock with some apparatus to pick it.
For the Odisea, darling, Vala thought as she pulled the trigger hoping this would work. The bullet hit the lock and Vala felt the chains around her go slack. With an inward shout of relief, she dropped the gun and started swimming for the surface. Her arms and legs felt a bit like jelly, but she keep pushing herself until that one stroke where she was no longer met by water.
As she broke the surface, Vala gulped in a giant breath, looking around her surroundings. With a deep dread, her eyes took in the expanse of ocean and no obvious land nearby. There was nothing but blue around her and the cooler that had fallen off the boat. Swimming to it, she clung to the floating cooler and in that second all Vala could think about was how Daniel was going to kill her. If she didn’t die at sea first.
TITLE: ONLY FOOLS
FANDOM: SG-1
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala. Minor other pairings, including a slash one.
GENRE: Romance/Humour/Action-Adventure/Angst/AU.
RATING: R
WARNINGS/SPOILERS: None, AU of crack is cracky. I have no shame in this.
SUMMARY: In the waters of the Caribbean lie treasures unfound, leave it to Vala and Daniel to look for the one that causes them the most trouble.
BETA: little_giddy, everything else is all me.
A/N: written for natalia5345 in the dv_exchange
A/N 2: once upon a time I watched a less than stellar movie, and the only way I managed to sit through it all without headdesking and eyerolling was to think of Daniel and Vala in the lead roles (being awesomely ridiculous). It was a coping mechanism! The exchange came around and next think I know I’m writing this insane AU. This fic has a lot action, a lot of comedy, and a lot of Vala getting herself in and out of precarious situations. Oh, and because this is an AU based in a heightened cracky world, I'm taking out all the apostrophes from certain names, ie. Teal'c becomes Tealc.... call it a creative decision, why? Idk, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ONLY FOOLS
On July 24th 1715, in celebration of the marriage of King Philip of Spain, the largest treasure fleet in the maritime history set sail from Havana, Cuba.
The 500 million dollars worth of gold, silver, and jewels came to be known as the Queen’s Dowry. Unfortunately, in his eagerness to consummate the marriage, King Philip ordered the fleet to sail at the worst time of the year.
And so, the great galleons, heavy with their sparkling load, sailed straight into a massive hurricane…
… And were never seen again.
Prologue:
It's all Sarah and Stephen's fault for thinking they needed a break from Dr. Jordan's class and for convincing him that the Caribbean was the cure. The result landed him at the dingy bar, The Jaffa, in Key West. Alone. Despite spending the majority of his life surrounded by sand, he was not used to the ocean and, really, joining Sarah and Stephen for their midnight swim was not in his plans for the night. Then again, neither was staring at the brunette in the illegally short cut-offs and white tank top for half the night.
He had noticed her early on in the evening; it was hard not to. She had been playing darts alongside a tall tanned man with brown but obviously greying hair and, from the looks of it, winning. That had been hours ago and the man was gone. Sarah and Stephen had left not that long ago and the brunette had seated herself not too far from him in the bar. While she kept ordering Coronas, Daniel stuck to tonic water, the impulse to head back to his hotel room staved by the fact he couldn't manage to keep his eyes from the woman for too long. Before he had left, arms around Sarah's shoulders, Stephen had (drunkenly and maybe honestly) told Daniel not to bother as the brunette was clearly out of his league and while he didn't like to admit it, Daniel was pretty sure Stephen had a point.
Still, she kept moving closer to him on the bar and for god's sake, sweat shouldn't look so good on anyone. Sighing, Daniel signalled the bartender for another drink when a husky voice broke in.
"Muscles, forgo the tonic water he's ordering and grabs us a couple Coronas, on me."
Daniel's head snapped to the side in disbelief and blinked as the bartender answered, "Indeed."
Next to him, near the stool to his right, now stood the brunette leaning against the bar so close to him he could see the outline of the bikini she wore underneath her top. Her smile practically blinded him, "Hi, there."
"Uh, hi," Daniel swallowed. "Um, you really don't need to get me a drink, I'm fine with my water."
"You've been drinking that all night," she smiled, "I think it's about time you upgraded."
Daniel looked towards where the bartender sat the two beers down in front of them with a nod to the woman and shook his head, eyeing the yellow liquid. "I'm not that big of a drinker."
Again, she just smiled, this time lifting the longneck bottle to her lips, taking a long drink. Daniel watched as she swallowed, following the movements in her neck and felt his muscles tensing. Blushing when he noticed her watching him.
"Can't handle it?" She titled her head towards him, her voice low.
Daniel shifted in his seat, a tightness coiling in his lower body. "Not according to my friends."
"Well now, then it's my duty to fix that." She pulled the Corona away from him and signalled the bartender again, "Two shots of Mr. Cuervo, por favor, for me and my new friend. We have to teach him how we do things here." She had tilted her face towards him, half of her body practically pressed against his side and Daniel really looked for a reason to argue. He knew alcohol wasn't his best friend, the few dorm parties Sarah had dragged him to were proof of that, but none of the co-eds he encountered had smiled at him like this woman was doing right now.
He shook his head, "I really don't think I should."
She laughed, nodding a thank you as the bartender - Tealc - set the drinks down, "The Caribbean, darling, isn't about should, it's about want. Now, do you want to? I promise to take care of you." She licked her wrist and sprikling salt on the spot. Her eyes never left his and the look of fake-innocence was both damning and completely alluring on her face. Daniel nodded. He was in university, wasn't he? It was the time to live a little, right?
"One shot." He picked up the salt, following the lick and sprinkle motion she had just demonstrated.
"Deal," she smiled and handed him his shot glass.
He took it, "Daniel, by the way."
"Vala. Cheers,” she clinked her glass against his, still smiling, and Daniel knew: trouble.
The shots were downed and the night subsequently turned into a blur.
--
The next morning Daniel woke up feeling his head was being used to open a crypt and moaned, turning to his side.
"When you said you weren't a big drinker, you weren't kidding." He heard from somewhere above him. Opening his eyes, he blinked, his eyes immediately closing again at the light that was streaming through wherever he was.
"Where am I?" he asked, groggily.
"My bed." Came the answer and right away Daniel bolted up in said bed. His head protesting every step of the way.
"Where?" He blinked against the light, his eyes now adjusting slightly to the brightness of the room where he could see the figure of a tall brunette woman. A familiar brunette woman. "Vala?"
She stepped forward, her figure unblurring and she sat down at his side. Handing him a glass of water, she also handed him his glasses, which he slipped on, wincing at the now in focus brightness of the room now was.
"And here I was worried you wouldn't remember..." She smiled softly and Daniel was struck by how pretty she was in the soft sunlight that streamed through her window. Last night, from what he still remembered he had been in awe of her exotic beauty. The legs too, but now, she was just really, really pretty.
"I remember you, I just don't remember how I got here." He motioned to the smallish room they were in, blushing when he noticed the bed. And the fact that he was on the bed. In just his t-shirt and boxers. He gulped. Looking at Vala he noticed she wasn't that much better, but still her too big white shirt and cotton shorts, from which he could see a bikini string poking out from meant she at least had two more items of clothing on than he did.
She just patted his hand and moved off the bed, "Don't worry - nothing illicit happened, much to my disappointment, I'll let you know." She winked. "After the third shot, you were already pissed.”
“Pissed?” What? Oh, wait, the accent…
“Drunk, darling. Remind me to work on your tolerance," she smiled, "so Muscles helped me move you to my room. You're lucky I live just above the bar."
"Oh." Daniel nodded, disappointment crawling into the pit of his stomach. He didn't know whether he was disappointed he and Vala didn't sleep together or that he had bombed his first proper drinking night. He figured it was the sex, it had been a while.
"We'll go for round two tonight, deal?" Vala smiled over her shoulder, picking up a bag filled with what looked like maps. "Right now, I have to go to work. Your trousers." She tossed the latter over her shoulder.
Daniel caught them, and fighting a wave of shyness stood in the middle of Vala's room and slipped them on -- it's not like you're naked, Daniel, he thought -- staring as Vala grabbed random objects around the room.
"Where do you work?" He asked, zipping up his kakis, "I don't think we got that far last night... Uh, I mean..."
Vala turned, waving him to the door, but there was no rush in her movements, "Well, I'm a surf instructor by day, but the work I really do is I hunt for ships."
"What!?" Daniel didn’t know much about the Caribbean, but he had heard of the “new age pirates” that littered the waters, boarding fancy yachts and stealing, but he would have never pegged Vala for one. Not that she wouldn’t look amazing in billowing white shirts and leather breeches. He coughed. Wow, he really had had too much to drink last night.
Vala rolled her eyes, "Sunken ships, Daniel!” She corrected, her grin bright and warm like the sun streaming through the window. “I'm, I guess you can call me, a treasure hunter. I go diving for wrecks."
"Oh? Wait, like Spanish galleons? Have you found any? I know that Nassau and the Keys are some of the chief wreakage sites in western hemisphere. Back in Chicago I catalogued the entire contents of a ship found of the coast of Jamaica; it was called The Dauntless, an English ship from the 1800's." Daniel rambled on, he had always found the stories of the sunken Caribbean ships fascinating - and one of the reason he allowed himself to be dragged down for spring break.
It was obvious from Vala's sparkling eyes that his interest had intrigued her. "You like Caribbean history?"
Daniel blushed, "I'm an archaeology major. I like history in general."
Vala's laugh was bright and bubbly, increasing Daniel's blush. "Come on then! I'll introduce you to Jack, he's the Big Kahuna for the wreck diving on the island. Used to dive for the SEALs and everything."
"Oh, I don't know, I should head back to my hotel."
"Come on, Daniel, it will be fun. Plus, what are you going to be doing in your hotel room that's more interesting that this?"
Daniel thought about the pages of notes he had on his dissertation and how Stephen and Sarah kept rolling their eyes at him when he would decide to stay inside rather than join them and licked his lips. "Okay, just don't get me killed by sharks or anything."
Vala wrapped an arm around his and pulled him forward, "Of course not, darling, I still need to get you into bed, and with less clothing."
Daniel choked, glancing at Vala, but didn't pull away.
--
By the end of the week, they hadn't spent a night apart, Daniel had uncovered a sunken canon, as well as a knack for wreck diving, properly identifying what they found with record speed, and a taste for the ocean. On their last night, much to Sarah and Stephen’s shock, Daniel told them that he had decided to take the next semester off. Choosing to stay in Key West finishing the search for the The San Pedro, which Jack and Vala were looking into. His decision hadn’t come lightly but it felt right. Nicholas had always told him to stop living in the books and actually experience archaeology, in the sand, in the dirt, and apparently the water.
There was only one thing Daniel hadn’t told them and that was that the money he had received when he cashed in his plane ticket was already spent on a ring he was keeping hidden in suitcase. An impulsive action, but he just remembered Vala's smile after he surfaced that first time from the water, the joy on her face at his first discovery. He had known it then, he was already half in love with her.
One month later after they uncovered the hull of The San Pedro Vala said yes.
--
Eight Years Later
On a small boat floating idly of the coast of one of the Florida Keys, the compressor that stood on its aft shook and caught fire. It was an old compressor that should have never been stolen from the junkyard it was found in, but acquiring it had been a solution to a dire situation.
Had there been anyone on board the boat this small fire wouldn’t have been a problem, but the boat was empty, its owner deep underwater, searching. Had there been somebody on board they could have stopped the fire and in result stopped the sparks that flew from the compressor and ignited one of the many towels on the boat’s deck. The towel began a slow burn that began moving across the material to reach the many papers and other flammable objects on the small boat.
Soon, the boat, Prometheus, was engulfed in flames.
Deep under the water it was sinking into, its owner kept searching.
--
Vala kicked underwater, her body gently held down by the tank strapped to her back as she searched the ocean floor for anything that would lead her to her prize. Next to her, Cameron did the same, shaking the hose as he moved it in front of him. Part of her felt guilty for not letting Daniel know about this, but considering they currently weren’t speaking, she gathered he wouldn’t mind much.
She, still, couldn’t believe they hadn’t spoke in over a month. He wasn’t even staying in their flat anymore, choosing to stay, well, she wasn’t really sure. They hadn’t got that far into that subject last time they spoke, especially with her throwing the lamp at him.
Eight years of relative married bliss, save the monthly, all right, weekly, spats (followed by the fantastic make up sex) they tended to have, and it was only now they had resorted to not speaking.
Bringing her attention back to the matter at hand, she waved her hands in front of Cameron’s mask, getting the man’s attention. Asking with her hands at why the compressor wasn’t working properly, her answer was cut off when a wave of sand blanketed her and Cameron’s sight. They both tried to see through the sand cloud to see what caused it, seeing nothing in the thick sand they turned to each other, shrugged and Vala went back to checking the hose with Cameron.
She could already see in Cameron’s eyes that he was lamenting letting her talk him into getting the compressor through less than honest means, but she decided to ignore it for now. She hadn’t the funds to get a proper one and with Daniel not speaking to her, she couldn’t have very well use her husband’s good looks and sincere smile as the bargaining tool she had come to rely on. Her own looks and flirtatious grins only worked on certain types, Daniel’s worked on everyone else.
Checking her air she focused on the cheap hose, but before she could wordlessly argue with Cameron another sand cloud, larger than the last one by far covered the area surrounding her and Cameron and she motioned to the surface. Cameron nodded and together they kicked up. Before she began moving up though her eyes caught a fragment of white moving in the cloud and snatched out to grab it. As soon as her fingers curled over the piece of white porcelain she continued moving.
They broke the surface at the same time and looked towards the ship.
Except it wasn’t there.
Blinking and pushing her mask away from her face, Vala narrowed her eyes. “Cameron! Where’s the boat?”
“How should I know? I was down there with you.” He rolled his eyes, allowing Vala to wonder why she kept him around as her best friend still.
“It couldn’t have stolen.” She looked around at the wide expanse of ocean and wrinkled her nose, Cameron splashing behind her. “Where’s my boat!?”
“Oh, fuck,” Cameron breathed.
Vala did not like the sound of it. “What?”
“Just think about it for a second.” She really didn’t like the sound of his voice, and cringing she pulled her mask over her eyes and pressed her face to the water. Please no.
There it was, decorating the seabed like all the ships she had dedicated her life to finding.
Her and Daniel’s boat.
“No, no, no!” Vala exclaimed, snapping the mask over her face and diving back down. She kicked to the bottom, her heart beating erratically in her chest, the only thought in the head: Daniel is going to kill me.
Making her way into the inside of the boat, she looked at her maps, their notes slowly getting ruined, and then remembering, she moved to the left where tucked in between a map of the Keys and a picture of a Spanish galleon was a picture of her and Daniel. It was the picture of the day they bought the boat. Vala blinked behind her mask.
He’s going to kill me, was quickly followed by: we were so happy that day.
Snatching the picture she tucked it into one of her suit’s pockets and swam back up to where Cameron was still bouyant. Breaking the surface again she was about to mention her thoughts of Daniel inflicted death to her friend when he became aware of the nine millimetre pointed at them.
Fuck.
Looking up she came face to face with two of Ba’al’s more idiotic henchmen. “Gentlemen.”
“I told them that the boat sank.” Cameron helpfully put in, earning him a glare.
“Thank you, Cameron.”
From the small speed boat above them Henchman One waved the gun at Vala. “Come with us.”
“Just me?” She grinned as angelically as she could.
“We only need one of you, and this one,” he waved his gun to Cameron, “does not owe us money.”
“So I’m free to go? Great!” Cameron smiled cheekily at Vala and saluted. “See you later, princess.”
Vala splashed water at his face. “I hope a shark eats you.”
Cameron laughed, splashing back, but already moving to the shore. “Love you too.”
Watching her friend swim back to shore, Vala had to admit she felt a big relief. This way they weren’t both in Ba’al’s cross-hairs and she knew that if she didn’t check in with Cameron in twelve hours he’d know something was wrong and warn all the appropriate people.
Turning back to the men on the boat, she flashed a grin. “So boys, a hand?”
--
The problem with Daniel’s life at the moment was that despite being almost broke, just this side of disillusioned with the way his life had turned out, and working a job he could do in his sleep, he was still in love with his wife. His wife, who despite being the most amazing woman he had ever met, was partly responsible for them being broke. Ever since they parted ways with Jack their income had been spotty at best, their brief stint in Spain notwithstanding, and while they both worked, it was hardly enough to keep up with the loans they both had piling up.
Vala still held on to the dream of finding her big payday in the Caribbean waters and Daniel still hoped for the discovery that would make his career.
As he made his way up the galley into the yacht’s kitchen he ran a hand through his hair as he came upon the yacht’s chef, sous-chef and captain. Rodney McKay and Carson Beckett were as usual arguing about something, this time as far as Daniel could tell it was who could make the better sandwich-specifically the ratio of turkey to mustard. Daniel was sure that for them bickering was just a form of foreplay by now. The captain of the yacht, John Sheppard, just looked on with amusement as he scarfed down his turkey sandwich, and also the clear instigator of the couple’s culinary battle today if the smirk on his face is anything to go by. John, Daniel had learned during his short time on the ship, might be Rodney’s best friend, but he and Carson teamed up against the man anyway and normally just for fun.
“Rodney,” he could hear Carson start in his I’m Humouring You voice, “certain sandwiches can handle certain condiments that others cannot. It is also a matter of personal taste.”
“Personal taste is an idiotic idea!”
Shaking his head at the constantly bickering duo, he lifted his hand in greeting. “Morning.”
Rodney snapped his head towards Daniel, cutting knife waving wildly in hand. “Finally, somebody with sense! Daniel tell this man who deems to call himself a chef, that you don’t put the lettuce right next to the bread, it causes the bread to lose its integrity and could collapse your entire sandwich.”
Across from Rodney, Carson just gave Daniel and amused smile, telling Daniel that he was just enjoying winding Rodney up.
Daniel needed some amusement today. “Well, I think it would depend on what type of bread you’re using.”
“Oh, my God. I am living on a ship full of barbarians. Take this to Mr. Landry.” Thrusting the dinner plate at Daniel, Rodney then proceeded to kick them out of the galley with curses upon their souls and taste buds. “And remember to thank him for accommodating you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I’m really grateful for that,” he sighed.
Behind Carson, Rodney snorted. “You might want to work on that sincerity.”
Daniel glared and was prepared to just continue on his way when John, stopped him, clasping a friendly hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Hey, so tomorrow the day?”
Daniel hoped he hid his wince and nodded. He suddenly wished he hadn’t confessed the other night during the crew’s weekly poker game that today he and Vala were meeting lawyers. The idea of divorce sat with a bad taste in his mouth, but Daniel felt he had finally reached the breaking point. He and Vala were barely speaking without fighting, he hadn’t lived in their apartment over Tealc’s in over a month. Instead finding job and lodgings on the Gateship, a yacht belonging to a very wealthy and surprisingly generous man, Henry Landry, a retired Air Force pilot and very successful defence contractor. Then finally when he received and an email from Sarah of all people telling him of hers and Stephen’s new dig that he made a call to the same lawyers that he and Vala had called six years ago, this time asking about divorce.
Eight years ago he would have never thought he and Vala would get to this point. Ever since the first night together they had been a team, a unit, but too many promises had been broken and too many things lost along the way. Their friendship with Jack, most of their money, dreams, the baby. They weren’t the same two kids that had fallen in love with each other and the ocean; they were brittle, not talking, not trusting, but worst of all, in Daniel’s opinion: still in love.
But not even that seemed to save them this time.
And inevitably, in Daniel’s opinion, divorce came up.
He still hated the look he put on Vala’s face when he mentioned it just over a month ago resulting in her slapping him, called him an idiot and flatly refusing. He can admit it might have been the coward’s way out, but in the long run he knew it had to be the better choice for them. It had to be, because he couldn’t stand the fighting anymore.
“Yes, tomorrow’s the day.” He nodded to John, shifting away from the pity he can see in the man.
John clapped his back, shaking his head. “From someone who’s gone through this several times, trust me, it’s never fun.”
“I didn’t expect it would be,” Daniel agreed, turning into the galley steps. As he reached the top he could hear Landry on the phone speaking to what Daniel assumed was an ex-wife as the words daughter and yes, of course were said in a tone of voice that reminded of his latest conversations with Vala.
Daniel had to agree with what John had said: divorce did not look like fun.
--
Over the course of her life Vala had been manhandled quite a bit and she had never once taken a liking to it. So at the moment as Jarran and Curtis pushed her into Ba’al’s club, Vala could say with a certain degree of certainty that she was not enjoying herself. At all. Ba’al really needed to get better henchman, she thought as they unceremoniously shoved her in front of the man.
Ba’al, as usual, looked impeccable in his white linen shirt and tan trousers, and were she not an almost happily married woman, she would even garner to use her feminine wiles on the man to buy herself some time. As it was, Vala was almost happily married to a man, who as infuriating as he was, she did love quite a lot, so out went that plan. Good thing she always made sure to have a plan B, sometimes a plan C, and very rarely plans D through F. (If she ever got past F she knew she was screwed no matter what.)
Glaring at the two goons who had just shoved, Vala turned a bright grin towards Ba’al. “You could have just called if you wanted to meet.”
Ba’al leaned back in his plush chair, rolling a cigar in between his thumb and forefinger, “Vala, you insult me. Had I called a meeting you would have never shown up, we both know that, anyway as it were,” he curled his lip, eyes travelling over her body, “I prefer my method of retrieval. It tends to be much more effective. Now, about my 62,581 dollars, where is it?”
Vala smiled, “To be quiet honest, it’s all over. Mainly the caribbean.”
“And why is that?”
“Debts need to paid, Ba’al, just like the one I owe you, you’ll get paid. I can’t very well leave myself with a line of bad credit or even worse a bad reputation with my contacts. How would that look?” Vala spoke, sitting herself down on the chair opposite Ba’al, paying no mind to the looks she was getting from his guards. “Can we speak about the plate now?”
“Why would I want to speak about this broken piece of porcelain?” Ba’al held the plate high in the air as if examining, his eyes narrowing as they looked at Vala.
“It’s not just any piece of porcelain. It has the Dessala family crest on it. And if you let me go back to where the boat is and retrieve my notebooks, then I can prove it to you.” Vala crossed her legs, acting more like she was in a business office wearing a sharp suit rather than the oversized shirt man’s Hawaiian shirt she had gotten off Ba’al’s goons over her bathing suit. She thought of Daniel’s notebooks, well, the ones he had left on the boat and sincerely wished that Ba’al would let her go and get them, as unlikely as it seemed.
As she guessed, Ba’al wasn’t keen on the idea, his sharp no, dashing about twenty percent of her hopes. Good thing she still had eighty percent left over. “Just look at the filigrees on the rim, Ba’al. Spanish carvings at its best.”
Ba’al stared hard at her over his lit cigar and set the plate down on the table. “I’m tired of this. Take her away!” He ordered two of his guards and Vala tensed as she felt their hands wrap, tightly, around her upper arms and lift her out her seat. Pulling one shoulder free, she glared at Ba’al.
“Fine, be rude. Can I have my plate back?” Please let me have it back, she thought, knowing what it meant if he answered no.
Ba’al met her glare and smirked, the bastard, “Oh, I think I’ll be keeping it since I don’t think you’ll need it where you’re going.”
Crap, sometimes Vala forgot just how clever Ba’al was.
“Well, it looks like you aren’t just a thug after all.” She said lightly, turning her body and throwing a left hook to the closest guard. It was a long shot she’d get out, but she had to try. As the man stumbled, Vala rushed forward when she felt someone grab her by the neck of the borrowed shirt, and pulled her back, hard. Vala met the ground with a hard crack and groaned as she watched as Ba’al filled her line of sight.
“Bad move, my dear. Very bad move.” Waving his hand, Ba’al ordered his guards forward again and as they once again lifted her up Vala decided that maybe it was time for plan F.
Fuck.
--
Watching as the shore got farther and farther away Vala hoped for a miracle, or even the Coast Guard, because she was going to need one or the other to help her out of this mess. Maybe she should have told Cam two hours, because from the looks of it she could be dead in twelve hours, well, now ten. Twirling her ankles, in the chains that bound them, Vala decided she was no longer a fan of iron.
Looking over at the two men, Vala tried for her most charming smile. “Boys, why don’t we talk about this. Without me Ba’al is never going to be able to find the Aurelia, as much as he thinks otherwise. The ocean’s a pretty big place after all and the wreck could be scattered over miles. You two could have part of my cut if you help me.” Eyeing the boat she looked for anything that could help her out.
“I don’t think so. Any last words?” Jarran asked as he pulled his gun on Vala. Well, thank you, Jarran.
“Yes,” Vala held her head high, “tell Daniel I love him.”
The other one, Curtis, eyed her, “Who’s Daniel?”
“My husband,” Vala started, dropping her shoulders, “at least he is for now. By ten o’clock tomorrow we’re getting divorced and for the life of me I can’t figure out what went wrong,” she paused and gave what she hoped was a truly pathetic look to Jarran, “where I went wrong.” It worked, she noticed as the man lowered his gun just a fraction of an inch before tucking into his pocket right in front of her.
“Well I’m sorry to tell you, you aren’t going to be finding out.” Jarran rolled his eyes, not buying her story completely, and frankly insulting Vala a little, moving towards her. Still, it was better than nothing and as soon as he was close enough, Vala headbutted him. As she felt him stumbled she ignored the pain in her head and focuses on getting the gun. As she hopped closer to him, she reached out to curled her fingers around it when she felt someone pull her back- Curtis. Clutching the gun in her hands, she shoved her elbow back and made contact with his groin.
She went to lift the gun in her hands and tried to point it at either one of the morons trying to kill her, when she felt her back make contact with the floor of the boat. She watched as Jarran scrambled up, his hands wrapped tightly around the chain connected to feet, pulling her towards the edge. Feeling the panic as it licked its way up her throat, Vala pulled the trigger, not caring about her aim, just hoping to hit something. At Jarran’s scream as the bullet took a chuck of his ear, she felt her feet drop, Vala moved to shoot the chains off, when Curtis’s hand grabbed at her hair and pulled her up.
“Start the boat!” He yelled at Jarran as he struggled with her, the drink cooler got kicked over as she did a ridiculous hop trying to stay on the boat, the man in front of her trying his best to do the opposite.
With a tight scream Vala of frustration fought against Curtis’s tight grip as he tried to push her overboard. Jarran coming up at her side and she swept the left hand, clutching the gun, trying to get the upper hand when she felt it. Her legs being pulled by a heavy weight as Curtis tossed the anchor attached to the chains binding her over the side. Scrambling for purchase, she grabbed hold of the boat’s ladder, holding on for dear life as Curtis tried to step on her hand, forcing her off. Tightening her fingers on the gun, she shot again, this time the bullet going through the man’s flimsy flipflop like paper cutting through his skin. At his yell of pain Vala let herself feel proud until she felt the boat’s engine start up.
The minute the boat began moving she felt her body pulled into two different directions: down towards the possibly inevitable death and forward as she tried not to lose her grip on the ladder. Grunting as the action and stress on her body became unbearable, Vala stuck the gun in her mouth, trying to strengthen her grip.
It didn’t last long as the ladder became more and more slick with water and her hands slipped off.
Feeling the anchor pulled her body under, Vala grabbed the gun and took one last deep breath as the ocean swallowed her up. Underwater, her eyes stung and the Hawaiian shirt she wore floated around her body, a useless cape. Knowing she couldn’t fight them, she let the weight of the chains drag her down to the ocean floor.
The second she felt the anchor hit the sand, her bound feet only a second behind, Vala closed her eyes and sent a quick prayer up as she opened her eyes and aimed at the lock holding the chains together, finding it ironic that it was the first time in a long while she was around a lock with some apparatus to pick it.
For the Odisea, darling, Vala thought as she pulled the trigger hoping this would work. The bullet hit the lock and Vala felt the chains around her go slack. With an inward shout of relief, she dropped the gun and started swimming for the surface. Her arms and legs felt a bit like jelly, but she keep pushing herself until that one stroke where she was no longer met by water.
As she broke the surface, Vala gulped in a giant breath, looking around her surroundings. With a deep dread, her eyes took in the expanse of ocean and no obvious land nearby. There was nothing but blue around her and the cooler that had fallen off the boat. Swimming to it, she clung to the floating cooler and in that second all Vala could think about was how Daniel was going to kill her. If she didn’t die at sea first.