Fic: The Days When Everything is Grey
Title: The Days When Everything is Grey
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: Dominion
A/N: Ficlet that came from a prompt the fab kalesbohan gave me. Closest thing I think I've ever to an episode tag and not my usual DV. Shocker, I know. A Cam and Vala friendship piece, I'm not too sure about it...(I'm not even too sure about the title) *nervous* Spoilers for Dominion.
Prompt: Gin and Tonic/ postcards/ "the elephant in the room that no one is talking about"/ unwashed cup/ a camera. Include 3 of the above.
The Days When Everything Is Grey
Vala stood in Cameron’s room after Adria had died, ascended, whatever. Daniel had locked himself in his lab, and Vala wished she could be there with him, but every time they were in the same room, Vala just remembered all the feelings the archaeologist had brought up in her the last couple of days. Betrayal, anger, sadness, betrayal again, compassion, understanding, worry, and that little tickle of love that hurt and scared her the most.
Looking around Cam's room she couldn't help but notice how different it was from the others. Unlike Daniel's, Sam's and Teal'c's who rooms were filled with ten years of memories. Ten years of history. Rooms that had been lived in, infused with their essence; rooms that had become more like homes than the houses or apartments they had off base. Second, sometimes first homes. But Cam’s was different. Cam was still new in the scheme of things. His room still felt like just a room that he just happen to sleep in sometimes, not a second home. But it was slowly changing. She could see the little hints of him spending more and more time here. Hints of a growing home. The unwashed cup making rings on the dresser next to some sport magazines. The random articles of clothing strewn over the chair in the corner, the football on the bookshelf, the basketball by the bathroom door, all of them adding to the increasing “Camness” of the room.
Shifting awkwardly by the door Vala looked as the young SG-1 leader, wondering what she was doing here. The events of the last few days had all of them tense. Adria ascending was not in any way good news. And whereas she would have normally spent this time helping/distracting Daniel, she just couldn't seem to separate the two different sets of feelings that he brought up in her. Even if one set was fake. And now Cam had called her into his room. Everything just seemed to be topsy-turvy in her life lately.
“You rang, my dear lieutenant?” She didn't know what she was supposed to do here. Cam was Cam and she knew that he wanted to help, but she just didn’t know how he could. Everything still felt off. She had fortified herself to forget thinking this was a sort of home, a place where she felt safe, and now she was back; she knew the truth, but she still felt like she needed to run. Instead, she smiled big.
“Um, yeah. I was just, you know, wondering how you were doing?” Cam stood on the other side of the room; he picked up a stack of small brightly colored papers only to put them back down.
“I’m just fine, just assimilating as you would say. Leaving in such a rush, I had left a bunch of lovely little trinkets I had acquired in my time here, I missed them so.”
Cam chuckled, but it was a small one and Vala could tell he really didn’t believe she was fine. Walking over to Cam she picked up the papers that he had just put down and began flipping through them. They were all random pictures of beaches and random city’s from earth. Pretty. What was Cam doing with these? They didn’t seem like his kind of thing.
“They’re from my parents and sister.”
Vala looked up at the lieutenant colonel, “What?”
“Those,” Cam pointed to what she held in her hands, “they’re postcards I’ve gotten from my parents and sister throughout the years. I always keep them with me, I had them at home, but…” Cam trailed off, but Vala got it. Little pieces of home. Having spent a large chunk of her life as a nomad she understood it all too well.
“Postcards?”
Cam smiled. “That’s what they’re called. You write short messages on the back and send them to your family, usually when you’re on a trip.”
“Oh,” Vala flipped the cards- postcards- over and saw several different type of handwritings littering their backs. Love, mom. Miss you. Love, Karen. Remembering Cam’s family, she let out a smile; they were sweet people and loved their son. Son. Daughter. Quickly flipping them over she handed them back to Cam. “That’s nice. Is there anything else, or did you just call me over to ask how I was and show me your postcards? Because if that’s all, I’ll just be going.”
Cam put the postcards back on the table and looked at her. “Yeah, I guess. Its just… if you want to talk, I’m here, you know?”
Turning back to Cam, she let her flighty, flirty side come out. “Talk? Is that what you want to call it?”
She watched as Cam ran a hand through his hair and gave her the Look. The one that Daniel had patented, the “why am I even trying with you?” look, granted she hadn’t seen it in a while. Though with the memories from the past few days she had been remembering (making herself remember) all the less redeeming and more annoying qualities that a certain archaeologist held. The Look certainly topped the list.
“Yes, because thats all that we’re doing. Look, Vala, I know how it is. Remembering something that never happened. Remembering feelings that you wished you could forget. And it doesn’t even matter that they aren’t real, because they are real to you. And it’s tough. It sucks, and I just wanted you to know that you can talk about it. It doesn’t have to be ‘the elephant in the room that no one is talking about’.”
Vala swallowed the lump Cam’s words had caused and then, “Elephant in the room? What does that mean? Because I thought we decided that we wouldn’t use Tau’ri expressions that I don’t understand, or was that fake too?”
“Oh, umm…” Cam looked befuddled for a second and then shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. And no, that wasn’t fake. Just know it’s okay. You can talk to us, me, Teal’c, Sam, or Jackson. We’ve all had our minds messed with, and we get that there can be an adjustment period. Just don’t avoid us. Talk. You’re good at it, so it shouldn’t be that hard.” Cam then gave her an awkward pat on her shoulder and that ‘fly boy’ smile of his, as Sam liked called it. Vala smiled back. He wasn’t the most eloquent of people, but he said what he needed to and was sincere about it. All of a sudden she was glad that it had all been fake, because she would have really hated not being able to call Cam a friend anymore.
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” She had never been good at talking about herself, really talking about herself, her real feelings, not what she portrayed to the world. But she felt that now that she could, with these people, whom she was starting to call family, at least to herself.
“Good, now how ‘bout we grab Teal’c and head to the commissary. It’s mac and cheese day.” Offering his arm, Cam led her out of the room.
“I love mac and cheese.” And for the first time in days the smile she donned didn’t feel forced.
A/N: There also another plot bunny that steamed from this prompt, but it's still not written yet.
Rating: PG-13
Spoiler: Dominion
A/N: Ficlet that came from a prompt the fab kalesbohan gave me. Closest thing I think I've ever to an episode tag and not my usual DV. Shocker, I know. A Cam and Vala friendship piece, I'm not too sure about it...(I'm not even too sure about the title) *nervous* Spoilers for Dominion.
Prompt: Gin and Tonic/ postcards/ "the elephant in the room that no one is talking about"/ unwashed cup/ a camera. Include 3 of the above.
The Days When Everything Is Grey
Vala stood in Cameron’s room after Adria had died, ascended, whatever. Daniel had locked himself in his lab, and Vala wished she could be there with him, but every time they were in the same room, Vala just remembered all the feelings the archaeologist had brought up in her the last couple of days. Betrayal, anger, sadness, betrayal again, compassion, understanding, worry, and that little tickle of love that hurt and scared her the most.
Looking around Cam's room she couldn't help but notice how different it was from the others. Unlike Daniel's, Sam's and Teal'c's who rooms were filled with ten years of memories. Ten years of history. Rooms that had been lived in, infused with their essence; rooms that had become more like homes than the houses or apartments they had off base. Second, sometimes first homes. But Cam’s was different. Cam was still new in the scheme of things. His room still felt like just a room that he just happen to sleep in sometimes, not a second home. But it was slowly changing. She could see the little hints of him spending more and more time here. Hints of a growing home. The unwashed cup making rings on the dresser next to some sport magazines. The random articles of clothing strewn over the chair in the corner, the football on the bookshelf, the basketball by the bathroom door, all of them adding to the increasing “Camness” of the room.
Shifting awkwardly by the door Vala looked as the young SG-1 leader, wondering what she was doing here. The events of the last few days had all of them tense. Adria ascending was not in any way good news. And whereas she would have normally spent this time helping/distracting Daniel, she just couldn't seem to separate the two different sets of feelings that he brought up in her. Even if one set was fake. And now Cam had called her into his room. Everything just seemed to be topsy-turvy in her life lately.
“You rang, my dear lieutenant?” She didn't know what she was supposed to do here. Cam was Cam and she knew that he wanted to help, but she just didn’t know how he could. Everything still felt off. She had fortified herself to forget thinking this was a sort of home, a place where she felt safe, and now she was back; she knew the truth, but she still felt like she needed to run. Instead, she smiled big.
“Um, yeah. I was just, you know, wondering how you were doing?” Cam stood on the other side of the room; he picked up a stack of small brightly colored papers only to put them back down.
“I’m just fine, just assimilating as you would say. Leaving in such a rush, I had left a bunch of lovely little trinkets I had acquired in my time here, I missed them so.”
Cam chuckled, but it was a small one and Vala could tell he really didn’t believe she was fine. Walking over to Cam she picked up the papers that he had just put down and began flipping through them. They were all random pictures of beaches and random city’s from earth. Pretty. What was Cam doing with these? They didn’t seem like his kind of thing.
“They’re from my parents and sister.”
Vala looked up at the lieutenant colonel, “What?”
“Those,” Cam pointed to what she held in her hands, “they’re postcards I’ve gotten from my parents and sister throughout the years. I always keep them with me, I had them at home, but…” Cam trailed off, but Vala got it. Little pieces of home. Having spent a large chunk of her life as a nomad she understood it all too well.
“Postcards?”
Cam smiled. “That’s what they’re called. You write short messages on the back and send them to your family, usually when you’re on a trip.”
“Oh,” Vala flipped the cards- postcards- over and saw several different type of handwritings littering their backs. Love, mom. Miss you. Love, Karen. Remembering Cam’s family, she let out a smile; they were sweet people and loved their son. Son. Daughter. Quickly flipping them over she handed them back to Cam. “That’s nice. Is there anything else, or did you just call me over to ask how I was and show me your postcards? Because if that’s all, I’ll just be going.”
Cam put the postcards back on the table and looked at her. “Yeah, I guess. Its just… if you want to talk, I’m here, you know?”
Turning back to Cam, she let her flighty, flirty side come out. “Talk? Is that what you want to call it?”
She watched as Cam ran a hand through his hair and gave her the Look. The one that Daniel had patented, the “why am I even trying with you?” look, granted she hadn’t seen it in a while. Though with the memories from the past few days she had been remembering (making herself remember) all the less redeeming and more annoying qualities that a certain archaeologist held. The Look certainly topped the list.
“Yes, because thats all that we’re doing. Look, Vala, I know how it is. Remembering something that never happened. Remembering feelings that you wished you could forget. And it doesn’t even matter that they aren’t real, because they are real to you. And it’s tough. It sucks, and I just wanted you to know that you can talk about it. It doesn’t have to be ‘the elephant in the room that no one is talking about’.”
Vala swallowed the lump Cam’s words had caused and then, “Elephant in the room? What does that mean? Because I thought we decided that we wouldn’t use Tau’ri expressions that I don’t understand, or was that fake too?”
“Oh, umm…” Cam looked befuddled for a second and then shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. And no, that wasn’t fake. Just know it’s okay. You can talk to us, me, Teal’c, Sam, or Jackson. We’ve all had our minds messed with, and we get that there can be an adjustment period. Just don’t avoid us. Talk. You’re good at it, so it shouldn’t be that hard.” Cam then gave her an awkward pat on her shoulder and that ‘fly boy’ smile of his, as Sam liked called it. Vala smiled back. He wasn’t the most eloquent of people, but he said what he needed to and was sincere about it. All of a sudden she was glad that it had all been fake, because she would have really hated not being able to call Cam a friend anymore.
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” She had never been good at talking about herself, really talking about herself, her real feelings, not what she portrayed to the world. But she felt that now that she could, with these people, whom she was starting to call family, at least to herself.
“Good, now how ‘bout we grab Teal’c and head to the commissary. It’s mac and cheese day.” Offering his arm, Cam led her out of the room.
“I love mac and cheese.” And for the first time in days the smile she donned didn’t feel forced.
A/N: There also another plot bunny that steamed from this prompt, but it's still not written yet.