(Untitled)

[hari_kari]

Strange Condition
by Harikari

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Part Two

Mohinder opened his eyes.  Saw white.  He took in a deep, startled breath and let it out in a hiss of pain.  The left side of his body - from his neck all the way down to his hip - seemed to be throbbing, hurting.

He shifted; felt a softness beneath him and realized that he was belly down on a bed, that

Comments

[dream_infinity0]

i'm not a mylar fan but this was really good. can't wait to see where you go with this

great work

[hari_kari]

Thank you! Glad to hear you're liking it so far. :)

[levitatethis]

You know what's funny? The other day I was actually thinking about this story because I remember enjoying the first chapter so much. I was certain I had missed your follow up chapters, but now I see I hadn't :^)

I'm happy to see Part Two and can only hope Part Three won't be far behind. You've really captured the tension of the two men in the motel room, particularly Mohinder's utter confusion as he attempts to make sense of what is happening.

I like that Sylar's motivations are unclear...vague...yet there's still this hint of caring for Mohinder. I also like that, in a way, Mohinder ignores that...though it kind of plays at the back of his mind.

It feels very in character to have Mohinder at least attempt a run for it and then put up a fight when Sylar stops him. My preference has always been to see some sort of equal footing in their relationship (as they try to take each other on...physically, intellectually etc) and I felt it in this chapter with Mohinder trying to assert himself.

Great job!

[hari_kari]

Thanks so much for your comment! I was kind of nervous about posting this chap, so I was happy to read your thoughts on it. I'm working on part three - hopefully I'll be able to get it out soon(ish). Thanks again! :)

[megmatthews20]

Wow! This is awesome!

It flows so well that I really really really did not want it to stop. Needless to say I am incredibly intrigued and definitely looking forward to the next chapter.

Wonderful!

cheers

[hari_kari]

Thank you! Glad you're liking it so far. I'm working on the next chapter now, hopefully I'll be able to post it soon(ish).

[mabetini]

Oh my I loved this!!!!

The tension was GREAT and well written and made me tingly!

More please!!!!

[hari_kari]

Thank you! Glad you're liking it so far. I'm working on the next part now - I'll try and post it soon(ish). :)

[poemwithnorhyme]

Wow,it has been quite a while, hasn't it? I had to go and re-read Chapter One, but when I did, I immediately remembered it. I really enjoyed it, the paranoia you painted was so vivid. And this chapter is no different, simply great! I hope to see a new chapter soon?

“Your fine,” <--One nitpick..it's 'you're' fine. Just a simple mistake, ^_^

Again, wonderful job!

[hari_kari]

Thank you! I'm gonna' try hard to get the next part finished and posted soon. Also, thanks SO much for pointing out my your/you're mistake (I've fixed it now), I appreciate it! :)