I'm definitely liking this! I like that Dean wasn't happy about Xander coming, even though he could remember him, and I like that John ordered him to be nice and that John's doing this because of Mary. And that line about how Sam is looking at Xander is just such a great description because I could picture Sam looking just like that.
One thing that did throw me off was saying that Mary was Jessica's sister because if Harris was Mary's maiden name, wouldn't that make her Anthony's sister instead? Because Harris would be Jessica's married name and not her maiden one. I just figured I'd point that out so you could switch it or something if you wanted to keep Jessica as her sister and not her sister-in-law. But back to the review. *nods*
I'm curious on why none of the Scoobies (especially Willow) checked on Xander and if you're going to address that. I liked that entire scene between John and Xander when they both seemed to realize something was in the alley but thought they couldn't say or do anything about it in front of the other. The fact that Xander automatically scans his surroundings is another detail that I really enjoyed because after living on the Hellmouth, that'd prbably become second nature since you just never know what could pop out at you. All in all, I very much enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait for the next part! ^_^
OMG. Thanks so much commenting and double thanks for pointing that mistake out to me - I'm going to change it right now! I just KNEW I was getting something wrong. I kept going over this chap while editting but couldn't figure out what was off about it. Thanks again! *hands blue_icy_rose virtual cookies and candies of thanks* ^_^
Oops. Just realized I didn't address the rest of the review. The Scoobies not checking on Xander issue WILL be explained/addressed in the next chapter. Thanks again for the great/helpful/thorough review. :)
One thing that did throw me off was saying that Mary was Jessica's sister because if Harris was Mary's maiden name, wouldn't that make her Anthony's sister instead? Because Harris would be Jessica's married name and not her maiden one. I just figured I'd point that out so you could switch it or something if you wanted to keep Jessica as her sister and not her sister-in-law. But back to the review. *nods*
I'm curious on why none of the Scoobies (especially Willow) checked on Xander and if you're going to address that. I liked that entire scene between John and Xander when they both seemed to realize something was in the alley but thought they couldn't say or do anything about it in front of the other. The fact that Xander automatically scans his surroundings is another detail that I really enjoyed because after living on the Hellmouth, that'd prbably become second nature since you just never know what could pop out at you. All in all, I very much enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait for the next part! ^_^
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