-_-
I don't know why I didn't update my journal yesterday, I seriously can't think of a suitable reason. And I don't know why I've had this gut-sick feeling in my stomach since this morning when I woke up, I'm seriously not in the best of moods, I can't quite grasp what I'm feeling at the moment..anger, rage, sadness, lonliness, unhappiness, not giving a damn...all not so good feelings I know..
Maybe it's coming back to the UK and suddenly feeling the difference from my trip in Libya, feeling how much I felt I belonged there and how..well..different I am from the people here, how things work out, how people treat you and how you yourself feel slightly off the main picture. I just haven't settled back into the UK routine, it's definitely taking it's time alright and I don't like it.
Or maybe it's suddenly and truly feeling the difference that sets me and my friends apart, maybe it's their ways of life in comparison to what I feel life should be lived. I guess I've become fed up of hearing constantly the talk about:
"Last Friday was a laugh at the pub, we got drunk, it was awesome!"
"Remember last friday? it was a laugh, in fact, I can't remember much of it, I think I had 2 carlings and 4 pints"
"We're going out this friday too, everyone's coming, it'll be great to drink again!"
"Are you coming (name), what about you (name), you wanna meet up and go together?"
....yeah, that's how it's been since I've come back, I mean, It's not that I'm kinda feeling that I'm out the circle in this one but it seems that this is all that's talked about now! Drink drink and drink....and even more drinking. Is that what it's all about? Suddenly..things have changed for me..
And during my time in Libya, I've been inspired as well as encouraged by many people to take graphics into the professional level and really bring out what I can produce to the spotlight. I'm feeling this burning desire to really stand up and show what I can do, I've been working on photoshop constantly now for nearly 3 years and only lately have I come to realise that I should put my efforts to building myself a reputation from now, to make use of every minute I get on the computer etc..and sadly, this has had a drawback effect on how I see the internet right now.
I really am feeling not too well right now, not physically, but I still have that gut-sick feeling -_- I don’t know what it is exactly! I’m feeling as though there’s something really really really bothering me..keeping quiet for most of the time..I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!! I end up saying the wrong things, end up putting myself in stupid situations like today in school, saying the wrong things in class and just looking like a right idiot, I’m constantly wording myself wrongly and I’m sure that’s not a good thing….
*sighs* ..I hope I feel better soon
Maybe it's coming back to the UK and suddenly feeling the difference from my trip in Libya, feeling how much I felt I belonged there and how..well..different I am from the people here, how things work out, how people treat you and how you yourself feel slightly off the main picture. I just haven't settled back into the UK routine, it's definitely taking it's time alright and I don't like it.
Or maybe it's suddenly and truly feeling the difference that sets me and my friends apart, maybe it's their ways of life in comparison to what I feel life should be lived. I guess I've become fed up of hearing constantly the talk about:
"Last Friday was a laugh at the pub, we got drunk, it was awesome!"
"Remember last friday? it was a laugh, in fact, I can't remember much of it, I think I had 2 carlings and 4 pints"
"We're going out this friday too, everyone's coming, it'll be great to drink again!"
"Are you coming (name), what about you (name), you wanna meet up and go together?"
....yeah, that's how it's been since I've come back, I mean, It's not that I'm kinda feeling that I'm out the circle in this one but it seems that this is all that's talked about now! Drink drink and drink....and even more drinking. Is that what it's all about? Suddenly..things have changed for me..
And during my time in Libya, I've been inspired as well as encouraged by many people to take graphics into the professional level and really bring out what I can produce to the spotlight. I'm feeling this burning desire to really stand up and show what I can do, I've been working on photoshop constantly now for nearly 3 years and only lately have I come to realise that I should put my efforts to building myself a reputation from now, to make use of every minute I get on the computer etc..and sadly, this has had a drawback effect on how I see the internet right now.
I really am feeling not too well right now, not physically, but I still have that gut-sick feeling -_- I don’t know what it is exactly! I’m feeling as though there’s something really really really bothering me..keeping quiet for most of the time..I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!! I end up saying the wrong things, end up putting myself in stupid situations like today in school, saying the wrong things in class and just looking like a right idiot, I’m constantly wording myself wrongly and I’m sure that’s not a good thing….
*sighs* ..I hope I feel better soon