Fic: "Pickle" Tony/Tim, Teen/PG-13
So, I've been a little bored and a lot bummed lately. And I'm a little stalled on another fic I'm working on, and the engine has all but completely crapped out on yet another I've gotten like 15+pages into. For some reason the conversation they had in MTAC during Power Down is what inspired this, though it obviously refers to The Inside Man. There yah go :) Rated as such for a few bad words. And unbeta-ed.
Tim sighed, shaking his head and raising his eyes to the heavens. “Why are you such a jackass, Tony?”
His right shoulder shrugging non-committally as he swallowed his current mouthful of hot pastrami on sourdough, DiNozzo looked at the younger man, then replied, “I’m written that way?”
“What? Who would ‘write’ you that way?”
“I don’t know. God, Mother Nature, the universe, my parents, hell, Gibbs for all I know. I’m a jackass; you know that, I know that, the entire fucking world knows that. You sure you don’t want my pickle?” he asked, lifting the vegetable towards his boyfriend, right eyebrow raised suggestively.
“No, thank you,” McGee muttered, ignoring the suggestion, then reaching out to grab the uneaten part of Tony’s sandwich. “But I will take a bite of this.” Shoving nearly half of it into his mouth, he smiled around it, handing the rest back to the other man as he chewed.
“And you. What are you?”
“A geek,” was the muffled reply, which was accompanied by a cheeky grin.
“A pain in the ass is more like it,” Tony said, frowning at what was left of his lunch. “Why don’t you like pickles?”
“Vinegar.”
“But you love those Salt and Vinegar chips. You and Abby ate an entire bag of those at lunch yesterday.” Tony frowned once more at what Tim had left of his sandwich for him, and then shrugged again and proceeded to cram the rest into his own mouth.
“True, but it doesn’t belong with vegetables. Besides, I think Sarah permanently traumatized me when it comes to pickles,” he replied, looking meaningfully at Tony as the older man continued masticating.
Tony nodded in understanding, his chin lifting and falling dramatically, the index finger on his right hand pointing at Tim as if to say, “Good point.” “After actually watching her eat her favorite midnight snack, I never want to have pizza with her again. Grhuh,” he said, shivering.
“Exactly. Even peanut butter makes me cringe most of the time.”
“It’s something pot-heads would eat, not English Lit majors at Waverly,” Tony pointed out, closing the Styrofoam box his sandwich had been in, leaving the pickle uneaten inside.
“If she is one, I’m unaware. I’ve fortunately only been privy to her alcohol consumption, and her being roofied by a classmate.”
“God, how long ago was that?”
“Almost four years.”
“Four years since we learned of your alter-ego. Wow. Feels like it was only yesterday,” Tony said wistfully while leering at McGee.
Tim rolled his eyes, reaching over to thumb a drop of mustard off of the corner of Tony’s mouth. “You love being immortalized in print. In fact, wasn’t it just a few days ago you were hinting I should write more adventures of Tibbs and crew?”
“No, I thought you should focus on Agent Tommy and all of his awesomeness. And McGregor’s obvious love for his senior agent.”
“Like I said, you’re a jackass.”
“But I thought you love my ass. I love yours,” Tony said, bottom lip sticking out in an exaggerated pout.
“I love your ass as much as you love mine. Doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes have an overriding desire to snap it with a towel,” Tim replied, leering himself.
“You ever do that, I’m force feeding you a kosher dill,” Tony warned.
McGee smiled, leaning closer to the other man. “I ever do that, it’ll probably be because you fed me one.” He touched his lips to Tony’s, resting his hand on Tony’s nearest leg, then sliding it upwards.
The next few minutes was word-free, the only noises being snorts and chuckles, and the creaking of Tony’s couch as they rough housed in the way only they could. Soon, Tim was crowding Tony into the corner of the leather sofa, Tony had slipped his hands down the back of Tim’s slacks, and their lips were still locked together, tongues having joined the fray early in the battle.
Pulling back, DiNozzo smiled up at the other man, his hands squeezing McGee’s ass. “Yeah, I do love this thing,” he mumbled, his eyes still on Tim’s lips. “It’s one of my favorite things in this world, though it’s still lower on the list than this,” and he licked McGee’s lower lip. “And these,” he whispered, looking into Tim’s eyes. He removed one hand from its current spot and lifted it to the side of McGee’s face, thumb running lightly over his eyelashes, smiling as the younger man turned slightly into his palm. “I guess I just kind of have a thing for the whole package really. Oh, yeah, and your package. Also definitely on that list.”
Rolling his eyes, Tim groaned and then dropped his head to the cushion he’d pushed him into. “Jackass.”
Tony turned and touched his lips to his temple. “Geek.”
“Why do I put up with you?” Tim muttered, his actions belying his tone as he kissed Tony’s neck.
“Same reason I put up with you: we get each other, we’re perfect for each other, oh, and your sister told you to stop being stupid and give in to my charm.”
“Huh?” Tim moved back enough to peer at him, eyes squinted and confused.
Tony didn’t explain though, just continuing to speak. “Kind of like Abby. She told me to stop pulling on your pigtails and passing you stupid notes in class and just grab you in the elevator and kiss you.”
“The first time you kissed me was in the evidence locker while trying to find a petty officer’s belongings you lost.”
“That’s not the point. I finally gave in to your charms and kissed you.”
“In the evidence locker. Real romantic there, DiNozzo.”
“You apparently thought so. You’re still here,” Tony said, smiling brightly up at him.
Tim looked down at him, joining in the smile and nodding. “Though, I do have to point out I’m still here because you somehow managed to lose my keys between the street and your front door.”
“Who says I lost them?” Tony asked playfully, leer returning.
As he rolled his eyes for the second time in not even five minutes, he whispered, “Jackass,” and touched his lips to the smiling ones below. And he didn’t even wonder where his keys might be hidden.
This entry was originally posted at http://harempriestess.dreamwidth.org/8975.html. Comment on either site.
Tim sighed, shaking his head and raising his eyes to the heavens. “Why are you such a jackass, Tony?”
His right shoulder shrugging non-committally as he swallowed his current mouthful of hot pastrami on sourdough, DiNozzo looked at the younger man, then replied, “I’m written that way?”
“What? Who would ‘write’ you that way?”
“I don’t know. God, Mother Nature, the universe, my parents, hell, Gibbs for all I know. I’m a jackass; you know that, I know that, the entire fucking world knows that. You sure you don’t want my pickle?” he asked, lifting the vegetable towards his boyfriend, right eyebrow raised suggestively.
“No, thank you,” McGee muttered, ignoring the suggestion, then reaching out to grab the uneaten part of Tony’s sandwich. “But I will take a bite of this.” Shoving nearly half of it into his mouth, he smiled around it, handing the rest back to the other man as he chewed.
“And you. What are you?”
“A geek,” was the muffled reply, which was accompanied by a cheeky grin.
“A pain in the ass is more like it,” Tony said, frowning at what was left of his lunch. “Why don’t you like pickles?”
“Vinegar.”
“But you love those Salt and Vinegar chips. You and Abby ate an entire bag of those at lunch yesterday.” Tony frowned once more at what Tim had left of his sandwich for him, and then shrugged again and proceeded to cram the rest into his own mouth.
“True, but it doesn’t belong with vegetables. Besides, I think Sarah permanently traumatized me when it comes to pickles,” he replied, looking meaningfully at Tony as the older man continued masticating.
Tony nodded in understanding, his chin lifting and falling dramatically, the index finger on his right hand pointing at Tim as if to say, “Good point.” “After actually watching her eat her favorite midnight snack, I never want to have pizza with her again. Grhuh,” he said, shivering.
“Exactly. Even peanut butter makes me cringe most of the time.”
“It’s something pot-heads would eat, not English Lit majors at Waverly,” Tony pointed out, closing the Styrofoam box his sandwich had been in, leaving the pickle uneaten inside.
“If she is one, I’m unaware. I’ve fortunately only been privy to her alcohol consumption, and her being roofied by a classmate.”
“God, how long ago was that?”
“Almost four years.”
“Four years since we learned of your alter-ego. Wow. Feels like it was only yesterday,” Tony said wistfully while leering at McGee.
Tim rolled his eyes, reaching over to thumb a drop of mustard off of the corner of Tony’s mouth. “You love being immortalized in print. In fact, wasn’t it just a few days ago you were hinting I should write more adventures of Tibbs and crew?”
“No, I thought you should focus on Agent Tommy and all of his awesomeness. And McGregor’s obvious love for his senior agent.”
“Like I said, you’re a jackass.”
“But I thought you love my ass. I love yours,” Tony said, bottom lip sticking out in an exaggerated pout.
“I love your ass as much as you love mine. Doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes have an overriding desire to snap it with a towel,” Tim replied, leering himself.
“You ever do that, I’m force feeding you a kosher dill,” Tony warned.
McGee smiled, leaning closer to the other man. “I ever do that, it’ll probably be because you fed me one.” He touched his lips to Tony’s, resting his hand on Tony’s nearest leg, then sliding it upwards.
The next few minutes was word-free, the only noises being snorts and chuckles, and the creaking of Tony’s couch as they rough housed in the way only they could. Soon, Tim was crowding Tony into the corner of the leather sofa, Tony had slipped his hands down the back of Tim’s slacks, and their lips were still locked together, tongues having joined the fray early in the battle.
Pulling back, DiNozzo smiled up at the other man, his hands squeezing McGee’s ass. “Yeah, I do love this thing,” he mumbled, his eyes still on Tim’s lips. “It’s one of my favorite things in this world, though it’s still lower on the list than this,” and he licked McGee’s lower lip. “And these,” he whispered, looking into Tim’s eyes. He removed one hand from its current spot and lifted it to the side of McGee’s face, thumb running lightly over his eyelashes, smiling as the younger man turned slightly into his palm. “I guess I just kind of have a thing for the whole package really. Oh, yeah, and your package. Also definitely on that list.”
Rolling his eyes, Tim groaned and then dropped his head to the cushion he’d pushed him into. “Jackass.”
Tony turned and touched his lips to his temple. “Geek.”
“Why do I put up with you?” Tim muttered, his actions belying his tone as he kissed Tony’s neck.
“Same reason I put up with you: we get each other, we’re perfect for each other, oh, and your sister told you to stop being stupid and give in to my charm.”
“Huh?” Tim moved back enough to peer at him, eyes squinted and confused.
Tony didn’t explain though, just continuing to speak. “Kind of like Abby. She told me to stop pulling on your pigtails and passing you stupid notes in class and just grab you in the elevator and kiss you.”
“The first time you kissed me was in the evidence locker while trying to find a petty officer’s belongings you lost.”
“That’s not the point. I finally gave in to your charms and kissed you.”
“In the evidence locker. Real romantic there, DiNozzo.”
“You apparently thought so. You’re still here,” Tony said, smiling brightly up at him.
Tim looked down at him, joining in the smile and nodding. “Though, I do have to point out I’m still here because you somehow managed to lose my keys between the street and your front door.”
“Who says I lost them?” Tony asked playfully, leer returning.
As he rolled his eyes for the second time in not even five minutes, he whispered, “Jackass,” and touched his lips to the smiling ones below. And he didn’t even wonder where his keys might be hidden.
This entry was originally posted at http://harempriestess.dreamwidth.org/8975.html. Comment on either site.