(no subject)
Title: Wall of Pride
Rating: PG
Summary: This was my entry for the songfic contest. There's no plot really, no beginning and no end. Just a moment in time when the future doesn't seem to look so scary.
Inside is a download of the song "Wall of Pride" by Voltaire...check him out.
Wall of Pride
"Do you have a twenty?" he turned to me and asked as we pulled into a gas station. I handed him a wrinkled bill from the bottom of my front pocket and he smiled his thanks. "Gotta gas this baby up," he added. "She's got a long trip ahead of her."
I leaned back and glanced at him through the side mirror. He looked happy. He looked troubled.
I got out of the car. "Want a soda or coffee from inside?"
He nodded. "Um...yeah, coffee. As much sugar as you can. Thank you." I smiled at him.
"Absolutely, dahling."
He blushed like a schoolgirl. When I returned with his cocaine coffee, he was still pumping, so I set the cup on the top of the car and pointed to a patch of dead grass a safe distance away from the pumps. "I'm going over there for a smoke. Come and grab me when you're done okay?"
All the blood in his hyper little body went to his face.
-----
I lit my smoke and watched the cars. They seemed to know where they were going.
The sun was beginning its descent; even it has a set path. Birds were singing, kids were playing, people were walking dogs and chatting into cell phones. Where did we fit in now? A raven flew overhead, noisily voicing his opinion, maybe saying, "Even I know this is a stupid idea!"
But Bam pulled up with the Lambo and I didn't care about the bird.
He shared his coffee with me, and I realized how much sugar I had put in it.
"I emptied a handful, I mean, a whole handful; and I've got big hands, so..."
He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. "Will you stop with that already!"
"Stop what, sweetheart?"
"Don't act all innocent. You know what you did."
"I could have easily grabbed twenty to thirty of those little packets of Sweet-N-Low in one hand alone..."
"Sweet-N-Low? You put that nasty shit in my coffee?
"Just drink it. You'll be awake for hours. It may make an overnight stay in a hotel a worthwhile investment."
----
I waited until we were on the highway to speak again.
"Bam. Sweetheart."
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to do this."
"I do."
"You really don't."
"Yes I do." He turned to me. "You know that. Just let it go. We're going somewhere...better. Nicer. Without assholes. People who have manners and open minds."
I drummed my fingers on my knee. "You're leaving everything behind."
"Ville. Look at me. We both are."
"Road."
He ignored me. "Look at me. I love you." He said this as if it was all that mattered. I was foolish to think, for that fleeting second, that he wasn't being honest. "And that's it. I love you. Trust me, please."
When he faced the road again, I leaned over and pressed my lips to his neck. My hands, however, moved on their own.
"You know I do. And I love you more than...more than...well, more than something."
"Well this is a first," he chuckled. "You, at a loss for words. But keep doing what you're doing. Feels...so good."
----
"Turn it up. I think I've heard this song before."
If the light does not reveal what I'm feeling for you
If the light does not expose
Please don't fret my precious heart if you don't understand
Keep in mind, you're not alone
And I may never find the words that paint what you are to me
And I may never find them whole
"Yeah. This...I think this was playing at Jess's wedding." He sighed, clenching the wheel. "No, wait, don't turn it off. I like this guy. I remember thinking he sounded like you."
"Voltaire? We sound alike, do we. That's interesting."
If the light is not as kind as the truth is ugly
Every mirror's not a door
Just a stranger always kicking, crying, criticizing
Stranger leave yourself alone
"You definitely do."
"If you think so Bammie."
And I may never know the reasons why I said what I did
And I may never know it, when I did it, I think I knew it
Now I only hope that I get through it
You could have been my guide to the other side
Out of this storm raging inside
But my hands were tied to the wall of pride
And my legs were shackled to the floor of pride
"I'm sorry he hit you baby. I tried to stop him, I just couldn't get- "
"I'm not sorry." I touched the slight swelling on my lip. "He is not your brother as long as he feels the way he does, Bam. He made the decision on his own."
"It was a bad idea telling them. I fucking knew they wouldn't understand. I knew it."
"But you still did it. Are you having second thoughts?"
"No, hell no."
I guess it's why my blood, it goes ballistic when I see you
Danger turns my heart, it drowned
It's only you who sends my body wheeling for the exit
It's only me I'm running from
I lit a cigarette and was surprised when he asked for a drag. I held it up to his lips anyway.
"Smoking is unhealthy," I told him. He smiled and blew the smoke out his window.
And I may never know what I was doing far from your side
And I may never know it, when I did it, I think I knew it
We passed through hills, forests, through walls of rock, hundreds of feet high, putting it all behind us. Into the past.
Now I only hope that I get through it
I put my arm out my window; we were moving so fast that the wind stung my palm and kissed my outstretched fingers. The orange rays of the setting sun glinted on my rings.
You could have been my guide to the other side
Out of this storm raging inside
But my hands were tied to the wall of pride
And my legs were shackled to the floor of pride
We just didn't fit in.
We coast into new beginnings at 75 miles an hour with the wind in our faces, and where we end up, well, fate will let us know when we get there.
Voltaire "Wall of Pride"
~~~~~~
I will get to my story "The Untamed" as soon as soon as my couch stops being so soft and comfy or my tv mysteriously explodes or something. *smiles*
Rating: PG
Summary: This was my entry for the songfic contest. There's no plot really, no beginning and no end. Just a moment in time when the future doesn't seem to look so scary.
Inside is a download of the song "Wall of Pride" by Voltaire...check him out.
Wall of Pride
"Do you have a twenty?" he turned to me and asked as we pulled into a gas station. I handed him a wrinkled bill from the bottom of my front pocket and he smiled his thanks. "Gotta gas this baby up," he added. "She's got a long trip ahead of her."
I leaned back and glanced at him through the side mirror. He looked happy. He looked troubled.
I got out of the car. "Want a soda or coffee from inside?"
He nodded. "Um...yeah, coffee. As much sugar as you can. Thank you." I smiled at him.
"Absolutely, dahling."
He blushed like a schoolgirl. When I returned with his cocaine coffee, he was still pumping, so I set the cup on the top of the car and pointed to a patch of dead grass a safe distance away from the pumps. "I'm going over there for a smoke. Come and grab me when you're done okay?"
All the blood in his hyper little body went to his face.
-----
I lit my smoke and watched the cars. They seemed to know where they were going.
The sun was beginning its descent; even it has a set path. Birds were singing, kids were playing, people were walking dogs and chatting into cell phones. Where did we fit in now? A raven flew overhead, noisily voicing his opinion, maybe saying, "Even I know this is a stupid idea!"
But Bam pulled up with the Lambo and I didn't care about the bird.
He shared his coffee with me, and I realized how much sugar I had put in it.
"I emptied a handful, I mean, a whole handful; and I've got big hands, so..."
He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. "Will you stop with that already!"
"Stop what, sweetheart?"
"Don't act all innocent. You know what you did."
"I could have easily grabbed twenty to thirty of those little packets of Sweet-N-Low in one hand alone..."
"Sweet-N-Low? You put that nasty shit in my coffee?
"Just drink it. You'll be awake for hours. It may make an overnight stay in a hotel a worthwhile investment."
----
I waited until we were on the highway to speak again.
"Bam. Sweetheart."
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to do this."
"I do."
"You really don't."
"Yes I do." He turned to me. "You know that. Just let it go. We're going somewhere...better. Nicer. Without assholes. People who have manners and open minds."
I drummed my fingers on my knee. "You're leaving everything behind."
"Ville. Look at me. We both are."
"Road."
He ignored me. "Look at me. I love you." He said this as if it was all that mattered. I was foolish to think, for that fleeting second, that he wasn't being honest. "And that's it. I love you. Trust me, please."
When he faced the road again, I leaned over and pressed my lips to his neck. My hands, however, moved on their own.
"You know I do. And I love you more than...more than...well, more than something."
"Well this is a first," he chuckled. "You, at a loss for words. But keep doing what you're doing. Feels...so good."
----
"Turn it up. I think I've heard this song before."
If the light does not reveal what I'm feeling for you
If the light does not expose
Please don't fret my precious heart if you don't understand
Keep in mind, you're not alone
And I may never find the words that paint what you are to me
And I may never find them whole
"Yeah. This...I think this was playing at Jess's wedding." He sighed, clenching the wheel. "No, wait, don't turn it off. I like this guy. I remember thinking he sounded like you."
"Voltaire? We sound alike, do we. That's interesting."
If the light is not as kind as the truth is ugly
Every mirror's not a door
Just a stranger always kicking, crying, criticizing
Stranger leave yourself alone
"You definitely do."
"If you think so Bammie."
And I may never know the reasons why I said what I did
And I may never know it, when I did it, I think I knew it
Now I only hope that I get through it
You could have been my guide to the other side
Out of this storm raging inside
But my hands were tied to the wall of pride
And my legs were shackled to the floor of pride
"I'm sorry he hit you baby. I tried to stop him, I just couldn't get- "
"I'm not sorry." I touched the slight swelling on my lip. "He is not your brother as long as he feels the way he does, Bam. He made the decision on his own."
"It was a bad idea telling them. I fucking knew they wouldn't understand. I knew it."
"But you still did it. Are you having second thoughts?"
"No, hell no."
I guess it's why my blood, it goes ballistic when I see you
Danger turns my heart, it drowned
It's only you who sends my body wheeling for the exit
It's only me I'm running from
I lit a cigarette and was surprised when he asked for a drag. I held it up to his lips anyway.
"Smoking is unhealthy," I told him. He smiled and blew the smoke out his window.
And I may never know what I was doing far from your side
And I may never know it, when I did it, I think I knew it
We passed through hills, forests, through walls of rock, hundreds of feet high, putting it all behind us. Into the past.
Now I only hope that I get through it
I put my arm out my window; we were moving so fast that the wind stung my palm and kissed my outstretched fingers. The orange rays of the setting sun glinted on my rings.
You could have been my guide to the other side
Out of this storm raging inside
But my hands were tied to the wall of pride
And my legs were shackled to the floor of pride
We just didn't fit in.
We coast into new beginnings at 75 miles an hour with the wind in our faces, and where we end up, well, fate will let us know when we get there.
Voltaire "Wall of Pride"
~~~~~~
I will get to my story "The Untamed" as soon as soon as my couch stops being so soft and comfy or my tv mysteriously explodes or something. *smiles*