"Herbivore"
Today I've been doing a lot of thinking. I believe that I am going to try being a vegetarian again. I didn't do that great of a job of it last time ("Well, they're just chicken nuggets, that isn't meat.") and I think that it would be good for me to try again. A challenge, if you will. I once had intentions of going full vegan, but that's too extreme. And kind of silly, if you ask me. I know it's a very apathetic attitude, but the animals that I'm not eating are going to die and get eaten or otherwise used anyway, so what is the difference if I like to put honey in my tea? I don't know, it's still something to think about. My mom asked me why I wanted to do it, for morals or whatever, and I couldn't think of an answer, but then I realized that I think it's gross to eat the flesh and muscle of something. That's why.
Today I went to the mall and bought more stuff at the Body Shop. I'm addicted! It's terrible. Actually, I didn't buy that much... I returned some of the stuff I got last time, because even though it smelled really great in the bottle, it smelled terrible on my skin and in my hair. So I bought coconut milk body wash and coconut body butter today. I know I like coconut, so it's all good. Coconut is one of my favourite smells, it is so yummy. Mmmmmm. I wanted to buy this hemp shampoo and conditioner, but it smells funky (not like weed, just kind of plant-y) so I doubt I'd like it. However, I put some of the conditioner on the back of my hand to smell it, and I've been smelling it obsessively since I left the mall. The longer it sits, the less plant-y it smells, I think. The best way that I can describe it is patchouli and nag champa. Kind of like a head shop. I might go back and buy it.
I also looked in to a Sprint phone today... only $125 deposit, but you have to be 18 to sign the contract, no matter where you go. I think that is very stupid. I'll probably just have one of my parents do it for me, even though that defeats the purpose of doing it myself and being independent and all that jazz. I'll probably end up with Metro, even though I really didn't want to resort to that.
I need to find out what classes and registration are looking like for next term at PBCC. Dumb kids, represent! No, not really. But since I'm doing homeschool, I can't get a "real" high school diploma, I have to get my GED... Therefore, I want to start college ASAP so I can forget about the fact that I have a GED. I can still opt to walk with my class at graduation, but I don't even know if I want to at this point. I kind of do, because my mom and dad want me to, but at the same time I don't, because I'll have already been in college for 6 months by then, and probably living on my own. How odd would it feel to go back to my high school and hang out with people that I don't even really talk to now, after I've been gone? Too odd. But we'll see, because I don't want to disappoint my parents. I just want them to be happy with whatever I do and not look at me as a failure, which is what I think they feel now. They don't understand what I want to do, which is move on with my life and become successful and make them happy... They just think that I am setting myself up for failure and turning into Chris by leaving public school so soon to graduation. I guess I can prove them wrong by going to college and doing well (plus, after I do well for a semester or two at CC, I can transfer to FAU without a problem), but I feel like nothing that I do will ever be good enough for them.
Hmm... I think I'd like to change my hair again. It's strong enough to dye, so I think I'm going to warm it up and add some highlights, and also get it cut so that it's a little shorter with choppy layers. I also think that this time, I'm going to splurge and let someone else do it for me. I don't trust very many people with my hair, though. Eek. Speaking of splurging, I'm also going to go crazy at work this weekend because I've put about a billion things on hold, and now that I have the money I'll be buying them! Yay, new closet full of clothes!
I need to clean up my room. Not just pick it up, but really clean it. Get rid of stuff, organise my closet... I wanted to buy some new things- shelves and the like- but I think it's stupid to be buying for this room when I don't know that I'll still be living here in 6 months. Gosh, there are so many things that I want to do, but that I don't quite know how to go about doing. Right now my focus is school, but I also need to start looking for apartments. I'm probably going to get a little house in what my mother refers to as "the hood" down in Lake Worth, near the beach and not too far from PBCC or anything else... I also need to work on getting a car that isn't a ghettofied dinosaur. So many things to do. I'm also probably going to pick up another job. I need to be able to afford all of these things, and $6.50 an hour at 20 hours a week just isn't going to do it. I'd like to get a job at a daycare center or something like that, simple with pay that isn't terrible. We'll see.
Okay, I'm going to go clean a little, and then maybe nap... Then work from 6-10. Let's hear it for the 4-hour workday!
Con much cariño...
S2