(no subject)
Live Journal SUCKS! It ate my post.
Anyway, I was talking about how rad I think Mike Vallely is. This isn't some crawly lick type of post about me thinking the guy is someone YOU should look up to or anything like that, but I feel that when I read his stuff, I am reading something that I can, not relate to, but feel similarly about many issues. Much like Henry Rollins, who, it should come as no surprise, is also a big influence on Mike V.
A post Mike Vallely has written on his website that i thought was awesome was this...
..........
I got a funny e-mail the other morning, as you can imagine I get all kinds of e-mails from all kinds of people. I get some incredibly kind and touching letters and of course I get my fair share of hate mail and letters from angry "fans" who feel I've somehow let them down, who think I somehow must answer to whatever standard they want to hold me to. I respond to many when I can, some I trash before getting more than a sentence deep but most of them I at least read. I do the best I can. Every few years or so I get a very forward letter from a female fan, that's right, every few years -- I'm definitely no sex symbol but I have had a few female fans proposition me through the years and though I've been tempted a few times (I am a man after all) I have always politely refused their advances and continued to walk the line. This e-mail the other morning struck me as not just a proposition of sorts but a sign of the times, times I don't particularly care for and I decided it deserved a response. It was definitely not the response this particular girl was looking for but I felt strongly about telling her just how I felt about what she had to say. In fact, I feel so strongly about it that I am going to share the exchange with you all right here. Note, I’ve left the names out to protect the innocent.
Her e-mail:
Title of E-mail: Mike V Is A Real Man
-- You have to be my favorite skater. You are just amazingly hot. I just discovered this site by accident.
If you like strip clubs, I can get you the VIP treatment at (Name Of Strip Club) in (Name Of City), CA. Just ask me and it shall be done. I'll buy you a drink and give you a free lap dance as well lol. You are just so fucking sexy.
--(Name Of Girl)
(She also included a somewhat revealing photograph of herself)
My response:
(Name Of Girl)
Thanks for writing. I do appreciate the offer as I believe you mean well, but I have to tell you that I have far to much self-respect and to much respect for you as a human being to ever accept such an offer or to ever find myself in a strip club. Not that I've never been in one or that I somehow think myself to be above such carnal environments or activities, I am after all just a human animal like the next guy; my eyes wander and I do get that itch. But I believe that itch isn't something I should simply give in to and as for my eyes, they definitely need to be wrangled in from time to time. But my bottom line here is that it seems to me that strip clubs are places where people without any ideals or morals end up. I have such things and they force me to check in with my conscience sometimes. In doing so I have determined that strip clubs are not for me.
You're a very beautiful girl, no doubt about it but I just don't need to see you naked or to have you grind on my thighs. See, I believe that the body is sacred and shouldn't be flaunted or exploited. Not that the body of a naked woman isn't something to behold, it definitely is but if that's entertainment I'd rather go to church. Of course, I understand you probably make a pretty decent living doing what you do but I personally can't justify the means to the ends. I don't know how anyone in your line of work does.
Imagine if I were to take you up on your offer. Imagine I wasn't married and didn't have two beautiful children. Wait, forget that, let's keep them in the equation, what does it matter? I'm sure many of your customers are family men. Okay, so I decide to come down to the friendly neighborhood strip bar. We meet, you buy me a drink (I don't drink by the way but I would definitely need a few if I even made in the door of that place). So, I have a drink or two, you take me wherever it is you take one of your customers and you proceed to rub yourself all over me. What the hell could you possibly be thinking of me? You couldn't possibly have any respect for me at all. I mean, what kind of scum bag would treat a woman so objectively? You’d have to see me as nothing more than money in the bank, a piece of shit who's good for nothing but stuffing money in your panties. You know these guys just see you as a sex object, they just see your body, they don't ever really see you. Is that how you want me to view you? I'm sorry I can't. And if I did come in, that is how I would see you, that is all you would be, a tool to get me off in some perverse way and all I would be to you is a pay day. In this way, you're adored by hundreds of men but respected by none. In turn you must have a pretty low opinion of men and their general disposition. Not a career choice or lifestyle I envy. It must be lonely.
I don't think a "real man" would take you up on your offer. We live in world now with very few "real men." But I believe where there are no men I must be a man. See, I believe there's a right way and a wrong way to live one's life. I am not always right but I know I have to stand strong and respond accordingly when I am confronted by obvious wrongs. Of course there’s no way to say such things without passing judgment. I don't mean to. I'm saying what I'm saying because I truly care for you but more so I care about me, my family and what I do and what the ramifications are of my actions. Like I said, you’re a very beautiful girl and I do appreciate your kind words and your intentions but I will have to pass on your offer. I believe there's much more to life than sex and if I didn't think so I'd probably be getting a dance from you right now instead of writing these words.
Sincerely,
Mike V.
The whole thing reminds me of a Rats show in San Jose back in October. I made my same old tired speech before our song "Another City" about how I’d been married for 11 years and that the girl I married was my first real girl friend and is the only girl I’d ever really been with. People always trip on this and they just can't believe that after all these years in the limelight that I've never slept around. I wrap the whole thing up by saying that although I've definitely been tempted through the years, in the end I prefer the romantic comedy over the pornography. That I would much rather mold my life into a romantic comedy (yes, some lame Juila Roberts / Hugh Grant film) than a porno. Many times when making this speech I've been booed and I heard my fair share of boos in San Jose. After the show out on the sidewalk some drunk girl got in my face and confronted me about me not liking porn. I told her that what I said was that I preferred romantic comedies over porn. But the reality was although I've seen my fair share of pornography (starting at a very early age) I didn't really like it and saw no redeeming value in it. She gasped. She was in shock. She'd never met a man who didn't enjoy porn. She then went on to tell me in great detail just how much she enjoyed porn, how she got off to it by herself, with her girlfriends and boy friends and what her favorite sex acts were to watch and to perform. I endured her drunken babble and when she was done with it I wished her a goodnight.
My biggest issue with pornography is that it greatly changes and effects the way we view adult relationships and our own sexuality, especially when it is viewed by young people not mature enough to understand that sex is not love. The images we view burrow deep into our brains and become the basis of how we interpret sexual relations and how men view woman and vise a versa. It is all perverse and vain, strictly of the flesh and so I just don't value it. In turn, I'm concerned with how easily accessible and consumed it has become via the internet. These aren't Playboy or even Penthouse type images we're talking about here. This is disgusting, disturbing imagery that has no place in our lives and needs to be rejected. Of course my good drunken friend in San Jose would say I'm just a prude. That I am not but I’m also not an over-sexed consumer of garbage. I have my needs and desires and prefer to keep them in check. My conscience dictates that I do.
The incident in San Jose made me fully realize as this e-mail exchange does just how badly that the walls of decency and humility have crumbled and how we live in times where nothing is sacred and anything goes. But these are not times to just go along for the ride, these are times to draw your line in the sand and put some roots down. But be forewarned, as soon as you put some roots down someone's gonna' come along and try to dig them up and drag you down and they will keep coming for the rest of your life.
.........
Yes. That's what I'm talking about.
Anyway, I was talking about how rad I think Mike Vallely is. This isn't some crawly lick type of post about me thinking the guy is someone YOU should look up to or anything like that, but I feel that when I read his stuff, I am reading something that I can, not relate to, but feel similarly about many issues. Much like Henry Rollins, who, it should come as no surprise, is also a big influence on Mike V.
A post Mike Vallely has written on his website that i thought was awesome was this...
..........
I got a funny e-mail the other morning, as you can imagine I get all kinds of e-mails from all kinds of people. I get some incredibly kind and touching letters and of course I get my fair share of hate mail and letters from angry "fans" who feel I've somehow let them down, who think I somehow must answer to whatever standard they want to hold me to. I respond to many when I can, some I trash before getting more than a sentence deep but most of them I at least read. I do the best I can. Every few years or so I get a very forward letter from a female fan, that's right, every few years -- I'm definitely no sex symbol but I have had a few female fans proposition me through the years and though I've been tempted a few times (I am a man after all) I have always politely refused their advances and continued to walk the line. This e-mail the other morning struck me as not just a proposition of sorts but a sign of the times, times I don't particularly care for and I decided it deserved a response. It was definitely not the response this particular girl was looking for but I felt strongly about telling her just how I felt about what she had to say. In fact, I feel so strongly about it that I am going to share the exchange with you all right here. Note, I’ve left the names out to protect the innocent.
Her e-mail:
Title of E-mail: Mike V Is A Real Man
-- You have to be my favorite skater. You are just amazingly hot. I just discovered this site by accident.
If you like strip clubs, I can get you the VIP treatment at (Name Of Strip Club) in (Name Of City), CA. Just ask me and it shall be done. I'll buy you a drink and give you a free lap dance as well lol. You are just so fucking sexy.
--(Name Of Girl)
(She also included a somewhat revealing photograph of herself)
My response:
(Name Of Girl)
Thanks for writing. I do appreciate the offer as I believe you mean well, but I have to tell you that I have far to much self-respect and to much respect for you as a human being to ever accept such an offer or to ever find myself in a strip club. Not that I've never been in one or that I somehow think myself to be above such carnal environments or activities, I am after all just a human animal like the next guy; my eyes wander and I do get that itch. But I believe that itch isn't something I should simply give in to and as for my eyes, they definitely need to be wrangled in from time to time. But my bottom line here is that it seems to me that strip clubs are places where people without any ideals or morals end up. I have such things and they force me to check in with my conscience sometimes. In doing so I have determined that strip clubs are not for me.
You're a very beautiful girl, no doubt about it but I just don't need to see you naked or to have you grind on my thighs. See, I believe that the body is sacred and shouldn't be flaunted or exploited. Not that the body of a naked woman isn't something to behold, it definitely is but if that's entertainment I'd rather go to church. Of course, I understand you probably make a pretty decent living doing what you do but I personally can't justify the means to the ends. I don't know how anyone in your line of work does.
Imagine if I were to take you up on your offer. Imagine I wasn't married and didn't have two beautiful children. Wait, forget that, let's keep them in the equation, what does it matter? I'm sure many of your customers are family men. Okay, so I decide to come down to the friendly neighborhood strip bar. We meet, you buy me a drink (I don't drink by the way but I would definitely need a few if I even made in the door of that place). So, I have a drink or two, you take me wherever it is you take one of your customers and you proceed to rub yourself all over me. What the hell could you possibly be thinking of me? You couldn't possibly have any respect for me at all. I mean, what kind of scum bag would treat a woman so objectively? You’d have to see me as nothing more than money in the bank, a piece of shit who's good for nothing but stuffing money in your panties. You know these guys just see you as a sex object, they just see your body, they don't ever really see you. Is that how you want me to view you? I'm sorry I can't. And if I did come in, that is how I would see you, that is all you would be, a tool to get me off in some perverse way and all I would be to you is a pay day. In this way, you're adored by hundreds of men but respected by none. In turn you must have a pretty low opinion of men and their general disposition. Not a career choice or lifestyle I envy. It must be lonely.
I don't think a "real man" would take you up on your offer. We live in world now with very few "real men." But I believe where there are no men I must be a man. See, I believe there's a right way and a wrong way to live one's life. I am not always right but I know I have to stand strong and respond accordingly when I am confronted by obvious wrongs. Of course there’s no way to say such things without passing judgment. I don't mean to. I'm saying what I'm saying because I truly care for you but more so I care about me, my family and what I do and what the ramifications are of my actions. Like I said, you’re a very beautiful girl and I do appreciate your kind words and your intentions but I will have to pass on your offer. I believe there's much more to life than sex and if I didn't think so I'd probably be getting a dance from you right now instead of writing these words.
Sincerely,
Mike V.
The whole thing reminds me of a Rats show in San Jose back in October. I made my same old tired speech before our song "Another City" about how I’d been married for 11 years and that the girl I married was my first real girl friend and is the only girl I’d ever really been with. People always trip on this and they just can't believe that after all these years in the limelight that I've never slept around. I wrap the whole thing up by saying that although I've definitely been tempted through the years, in the end I prefer the romantic comedy over the pornography. That I would much rather mold my life into a romantic comedy (yes, some lame Juila Roberts / Hugh Grant film) than a porno. Many times when making this speech I've been booed and I heard my fair share of boos in San Jose. After the show out on the sidewalk some drunk girl got in my face and confronted me about me not liking porn. I told her that what I said was that I preferred romantic comedies over porn. But the reality was although I've seen my fair share of pornography (starting at a very early age) I didn't really like it and saw no redeeming value in it. She gasped. She was in shock. She'd never met a man who didn't enjoy porn. She then went on to tell me in great detail just how much she enjoyed porn, how she got off to it by herself, with her girlfriends and boy friends and what her favorite sex acts were to watch and to perform. I endured her drunken babble and when she was done with it I wished her a goodnight.
My biggest issue with pornography is that it greatly changes and effects the way we view adult relationships and our own sexuality, especially when it is viewed by young people not mature enough to understand that sex is not love. The images we view burrow deep into our brains and become the basis of how we interpret sexual relations and how men view woman and vise a versa. It is all perverse and vain, strictly of the flesh and so I just don't value it. In turn, I'm concerned with how easily accessible and consumed it has become via the internet. These aren't Playboy or even Penthouse type images we're talking about here. This is disgusting, disturbing imagery that has no place in our lives and needs to be rejected. Of course my good drunken friend in San Jose would say I'm just a prude. That I am not but I’m also not an over-sexed consumer of garbage. I have my needs and desires and prefer to keep them in check. My conscience dictates that I do.
The incident in San Jose made me fully realize as this e-mail exchange does just how badly that the walls of decency and humility have crumbled and how we live in times where nothing is sacred and anything goes. But these are not times to just go along for the ride, these are times to draw your line in the sand and put some roots down. But be forewarned, as soon as you put some roots down someone's gonna' come along and try to dig them up and drag you down and they will keep coming for the rest of your life.
.........
Yes. That's what I'm talking about.