HT 100 #137 - Family
Hush
Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
Oh, devil in hell what the heck,
If you don't stop, Papa's gonna break your pretty little neck.
That's how it ended before it began. He gave it to her and then he took it from her. But that's not enough is it, Daddy? By denying me you continue to take. My voice, my heart...I will never forgive you.
She will make him regret.
If that mockingbird don't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
Nappa took one look at the bedraggled young man and signaled to be let out. "Please...please, you can't tell 'im what happened, you can't tell Pop, he'll never forgive - "
Nino Schibetta was a businessman first and a family man second, so family or not, such a display is not to be tolerated. And that's the thing. Antonio was supposed to be the good father - the one who actually knew shit about his kids, had time for them. Nino? Oh, hell no! He was too married to the job. Sure, he always made sure Angie and Peter had everything, wanted for nothing - well, nothing other than perhaps to know that it wasn't all just for show.
Hey, don't cry. Papa's here.
Too little and twenty years too late. With them, it was all about regret.
If that diamond ring turns brass, Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass.
He doesn't know what the old man saw that made him go all fucking quiet. Five minutes passed and he haven't said "Back in my day" followed by "Blah, blah, blah, blah and blah." Then ten. Twenty. Two hours. Days. A whole month. Fuck! What does he fucking care - it's not a fucking bad thing!
He never saw the point to watching the living like Nino did. The kids are splitting images of their mother through and through. No trace of him at all. And they will grow up without him with their new daddy, plain and simple. And if that Joey dares turn up either here or back in Oz before Michael's eighteen...
Dino had loved his kids while he could. He has no regrets.
If that looking glass gets broke, Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat.
Dorothy Gail remembers a time when Mother loved it. It wasn't a normal child, it knew. It was not a child at all. And Mother tried, really. To deny it. To live in her world of illusions.
It remembers the withered old man's blank, cloudy eyes as Mother fed him, changed his diapers, helped him into and out of bed. She looked upon him with such fear when he was so helpless, When it wasn't him the Devil but a demon in his form.
It regrets Mother couldn't see the truth, so blinded by the lie that is faith. That just because it wasn't human, doesn't mean it couldn't love.
If that billy goat won't pull, Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull.
In America, his wife, his son and him were going to have a house, a car. No more working in fields. His son will have piano lessons. In America. He promise them.
And Bian Xixhue didn't keep. Because Bian Xixhue was stupid. Stupid to believe all the stories. They had no place here. Now they have to go home and they have no place home either. The crops are dead. There is no food. Now, no father.
It fills him with regret that there is no way out of the shit life because happy endings only happen in fairy tales.
If that cart and bull turn over, Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover.
He did his best to be a "normal" dad to Clay. Between the long, never-ending shifts, he taught him how to ride a bike, throw a football, and do fractions, talk to him about his day over dinner, take the dogs on a walk through the park with him, watch his Little League game, take him back-to-school shopping, chew him out when he needed it...
That did not last and Samuel was greatful for his best buddy, Glynn, who helped the boy through so much. Not teaching Clay to trust others more was his one regret.
If that dog named Rover won't bark. Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart.
He once thought he had a normal dad. He thought so even though Dad was glum and grumpy all the time and not happy like other dads. Because his job just tires him out. And they need the money to live in their nice house with the white picket fence and the dog named Rover. He thought so when he found the bottles under the guest bedroom bed. Dad had told him they were for Grandma and not to tell anyone 'cos it was a surprise. He thought so when the little girl died and they took him away. Mom told him he just made a little mistake, that's all. Everyone makes mistakes right?
Gary Beecher had thought his dad was normal until the strange man took him and his sister away. Until he is forever locked in the place where he cannot touch or feel. Until he saw Dad laugh, cry, kiss the man with the cold blue eyes...
Does he regret not being normal? Because then, nobody would have gotten hurt.
If that horse and cart fall down, You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
The boy was not evil, Jara had thought. Just lost his way in this depraved land. It was his mission to guide the poor soul home. And he thought he had done so.
Until he watched him stroking the cowering white boy's face, eyes full of animal lust, lips quivering in ecstasy.
"You used to be so neat and clean..."
And that's when he knew the lost boy was beyond helping, that he had no son. There was no regret in what never was.
So hush little baby don't you cry, 'Cause Mama loves you and so do I.
Regret. It was always regret with his father. The I wanted to do you right, but I failed you. Again. And again. I wanted what's best and things were so tough so therefore I had to be hard on you and your brother. So if I was ever hard on you...
Everything for a fucked up ideology he is too stubborn to let go. Anything else can be waved away. Beating on his kids. Even killing one of them. What he should have regretted was the ignorant hatred that started it all.
If his father truly loved him, he would let go of that. And Andrew would gladly call him Dad again.