Comments | hardtime100: HT100 Oz Flash Fiction Challenge #2 - Storytelling

katej in hardtime100

HT100 Oz Flash Fiction Challenge #2 - Storytelling - "Watching"

Nov 28, 2009 17:36

Title: Watching
Prompt: Flash Fic Challenge #2: Storytelling
Timeframe: Season 4, before the fight but after the kids are kidnapped.
Word Count: 818
Authors Notes: So I should disclaim this and the following fics I'm posting by saying I haven't actually written fic in over 10 years. And even then it was only one fic. So...yeah. Kind of a newbie ( Read more... )

flashfic ch 002 storytelling, w: katej, flashfiction

Comments 9

severina2001 November 29 2009, 01:07:15 UTC

Mmmm. I like supportive Chris, and it's nice to see a moment in this timeframe when Toby will *let* Chris be there for him. Nicely done!

katej November 30 2009, 23:24:19 UTC

thanks so much! i really loved how chris tried to comfort toby in his own way during that period, but toby kind of ruined it with his reactions. i wish we'd have gotten more scenes between them that didn't involve fighting or some tragedy that, once again, kept them from just being happy for five minutes. damn you, fontana!!!! ::fists raised::

thanks again!

luci_2 November 29 2009, 23:36:41 UTC

I wish we could have seen more, besides the orange scene.
Thank you for giving us some of what could have been hapenning.

katej November 30 2009, 23:26:01 UTC

i agree. i hate that one of the few touching moments between them was tainted because of toby's reaction. i really wish we got more in terms of them just being happy together to balance out all the bad stuff that always seemed to be tearing them apart.

thanks for your comment!

numenora November 30 2009, 07:50:39 UTC

Aw, this was wonderful! 10 years apparently didn't hurt your writing at all. I like Chris' gentle wisdom in this. :)

katej November 30 2009, 23:27:01 UTC

thank you so much! i feel rusty. it felt strange to write again. but i';m glad it was good enough to post.

thanks again!

ozsaur November 30 2009, 17:54:06 UTC

I like seeing Chris being supportive. Very nice storytelling.

And I'm very happy that you are jumping into writing again. :-)

katej November 30 2009, 23:29:47 UTC

thank you! more like toeing the line rather than jumping. not sure if i'll do more at this point. i like art and feel more comfortable doing BK art than i do BK fic. plus, BK writers? Made of the highest forms of awesome. i'm nowhere near their caliber. but it was fun.

thanks again!

roguemarch December 14 2009, 00:22:06 UTC

Loved the whole lion therapist - Chris therapist (?) parallel!