HT100 FlashFiction Challenge #12 - X Marks the Spot
Only four months late...Heaps and heaps of thanks to rosybug for her wonderful beta job and encouraging comments. And her patience!! Hugs, darlin'!
Spike
Spike
******
"What the fuck?!"
"Shit! Toby!"
Chris scrambled up from the floor, pushing the slim, platinum blond man who had been kneeling over him to the side in the process.
"Godammit, Keller, you promised you quit this!"
"I know, I know." Chris reached for Toby. "Look, it's not as bad --"
"Don't fucking touch me. And put a shirt on. And for chrissake, wipe the blood off your leg. You're like a fucking pincushion."
Chris ran his hand up his calf, catching the twin ribbons of blood flowing from the puncture marks on the inside of his leg, just above his knee. He brought his hand up to his mouth, seemed to think better of it, and wiped it on the back of his cut-off denims. "Don't overreact."
"Overreact? I come home to find you half naked, laying on the floor, some guy on top of you with his face buried between your legs. And, oh yeah, sucking your blood! After you fucking promised you'd quit! I don't think I *could* overreact!"
"Excuse me." The blond man stepped forward. "Name's Spike. I just want you to know there's nothing going on here you need to --"
"Fuck you."
"Fair enough." Spike crossed the room, retrieving his leather jacket from a chair. "I'm just gonna grab a drink then I'll be off."
"A drink?" Toby fumed.
"Well, I *was* interrupted, still got a bit of a thirst. I'm not going to make a fuss over the twenty quid I was promised, figured that's out of the question, but I could do with a beer." Toby and Chris stared after him as he went to the kitchen before they turned back to each other.
"Toby, I don't want you getting all worked up over this. It's not like I'm cheating or anything." Chris tried his best cajoling voice. "Maybe if you and I did it together sometime..."
Toby shook his head in disgust. "I don't need to try it to know that I don't like some strange guy sucking on you!"
"It's not like that."
"He was two inches from your cock!"
"Hey now," interrupted Spike, returning from the kitchen, a beer in hand, another in his pocket, "I don't think I like the direction this conversation is heading."
"Are you still here?"
"Apparently. Listen, Toby, you can rest assured, the love that dare not speak its name is not even being thought of here. Two reasons for that: one, I'm not wired that way, not that there's anything wrong with it. Two, Keller here is completely sotted with you. Head-over-heels, pie-in-the-sky, pulling-petals-off-a-daisy, enough-to-make-me-want-to-puke in love with you."
"And how would you know that?" Toby demanded, while Chris flashed Spike the thumbs-up behind his back.
"Because we played a few rounds of pool, had a couple pints before we found our way here, and you were all he talked about. He's mad about you."
"He has a pretty fucking odd way of showing it."
"Look, I don't understand it either. Some people just get off on the whole psuedo bite-me thing. It's a fetish, and a fairly harmless one, in my book. I make a few bucks, they get their itch scratched, everyone's happy. Except for you, of course."
Toby's shoulders sagged and he lowered himself to the couch. "God, we're so different. I don't know what we're doing together."
Chris dropped to his knees beside the couch, looking alarmed. "Don't say that, goddammit! You're so fucking pessimistic."
Spike took Chris' arm, pulling him to his feet. "Tell you what, let me help you out here." He put his arm around Chris' shoulders and walked him toward the hall. "Why don't you go take a nice soak or something, and I'll have a chat with your honey. Maybe I can offer a fresh perspective; I think you and I have something in common."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"Both of our love lives can be a bitch. In my case, an extremely dangerous, though sexy, one. What do you say?"
Chris tilted his head, smiled darkly. "You want me to leave you - a vampire - alone with Toby while he's so vulnerable?"
"Oh, come on!" Spike held his hand to his chest. "You doubt my intentions?"
"I barely fucking know you."
"Well, it's like I told you, I can't commit any more crimes against humanity, unless they give me permission, of course. He'll be fine."
"Why do you want to help us?"
"Oh, yes, let's get that over with. The money I said I wasn't going to bother you about? I was lying, of course. You double what you promised, plus the next time we bump into each other at the pub, you pick up my tab. Deal?"
Chris looked at Toby, still on the couch, his head in his hands. "Deal. But only if you can really help."
Spike held out his hand and Chris took it, squeezing tightly. "You hurt him, you're dead." Spike nodded his understanding, and Chris headed to the bathroom.
Spike pulled the other beer from his pocket, popping the top with his teeth. Back in the living room he handed it to Toby, pushed the coffee table back and took a seat on it.
Toby accepted the beer, looking skeptical, and took a long pull from it. "What do you want?" He looked around. "Where's Chris?"
"He thought it might be a good idea to give you some breathing room."
"With you?"
"I convinced him we had something in common. I know what it's like being in a difficult relationship, when the object of your desire is so different from you that you feel like separate species sometimes. So, what's the biggest hurdle in your race to a happy ending?"
Toby took another drink, eyeing Spike over the bottle. He opened his mouth, paused, seemed to consider whether to say anything or not and finally shrugged. "I thought he was over all this. I used to come home and find Chris 'doing business' as he called it, with men he wouldn't introduce me to, making phone calls he wouldn't let me hear. Then a few days letter he'd have all this money. I'm a fucking prosecutor; I couldn't have my boyfriend breaking the law like that."
"You said 'used to'. Has he quit the shady-deals business?"
Toby nodded. "But now he's coming home in the middle of the night, two, three times a week and I'm finding puncture marks all over him. I don't understand it. How can two such different people make any kind of relationship work?"
"Well, that sounds like it can be a strain, I admit. But I can do you one better."
"Yeah?"
Spike finished his beer and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "The bird that gets my knickers in a twist is a slayer."
"What's that?"
"It's pretty self-explanatory, isn't it? A person who slays. And what she slays is vampires."
"What? Your girlfriend kills vampires?"
Spike brought his finger to his nose. "On the button. So while I can sympathize with you being unhappy over Keller sneaking around where you think he ought not be, at least it's not his mission to kill every lawyer he sees."
Toby got up, pacing the room. "So why doesn't she kill you?"
Spike pointed to his head. "I've got a little chip here...long story. The short of it is that I can't hurt humans, thus earning me a reprieve from my lady love. But that doesn't keep the weirdness away, knowing she might have killed me by now if not for modern technology."
"All very interesting - what does this have to do with me and Chris?"
"Well, maybe he's doing what he's doing for the same reason I am. I can't let go of my true nature, which is to want to bite people and suck their blood. It's the dark side of me, which has been repressed, but not forgotten. And maybe it's the same for Keller. He's given up the darker side of life, but he can't completely get rid of it. And so he turns to something dangerous, forbidden. But it's something that doesn't hurt anyone."
Spike got to his feet, warming to his explanation. "Actually, it kind of hurts him, right? He's doing something he knows you don't like, and at the same time punishing himself for it by getting sharp pointies poked through his skin." Spike pushed his finger against his canine tooth. "This bugger can do some damage, you know."
He crossed his arms over his chest and grinned. "It's the old pain for pleasure scenario. Pretty good fuckin' analysis, don't you think?"
Toby pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes. When he brought them down, he looked distressed.
"So he's doing this because of me?"
Spike shrugged. "More like for you, I'd say."
Toby flopped down on the couch again. "This is fucked up." He finished off his beer. "What should I do?"
Spike went into the kitchen, returned with two more beers. "Here, take these, go talk to him. Tell him you still love him, in spite of everything. Get him to open up, tell you how he's feeling. If I had someone so ga-ga over me, I'd make it work."
Toby stood, took the bottles. "Your girlfriend isn't like that?"
Spike looked down, busying himself with the buttons of his coat. "Look," he finally said, moving to the door without looking up, "my situation is..." he cleared his throat, "it's different. Doomed from the start and all that, you might say." He opened the door, still with his back to Toby. "Maybe yours doesn't have to be." He stepped into the hall, pulling the door shut behind him.
Toby stared at the door for a long moment. Then he toed off his shoes, took a deep breath, and headed down the hall. A soft knock turned him back; Spike was standing in the doorway.
"Of course, everything I said could be just a lot of rot and rubbish. I'm a vampire, not a fucking head shrink." He held up his bottle of beer. "Thanks for the ale, though may I suggest you try something other than this brackish American pond water. Oh, and you better lock your door. There's all kinds of nasties out and about this time of night." The door closed and he was gone - again.
Toby locked the door, then leaned against it. "What the fuck just happened?" he wondered out loud. "I'm getting relationship advice from a vampire." He smiled as he walked from the room, toward Chris. "And I'm taking it."
-end-
Spike
Spike
******
"What the fuck?!"
"Shit! Toby!"
Chris scrambled up from the floor, pushing the slim, platinum blond man who had been kneeling over him to the side in the process.
"Godammit, Keller, you promised you quit this!"
"I know, I know." Chris reached for Toby. "Look, it's not as bad --"
"Don't fucking touch me. And put a shirt on. And for chrissake, wipe the blood off your leg. You're like a fucking pincushion."
Chris ran his hand up his calf, catching the twin ribbons of blood flowing from the puncture marks on the inside of his leg, just above his knee. He brought his hand up to his mouth, seemed to think better of it, and wiped it on the back of his cut-off denims. "Don't overreact."
"Overreact? I come home to find you half naked, laying on the floor, some guy on top of you with his face buried between your legs. And, oh yeah, sucking your blood! After you fucking promised you'd quit! I don't think I *could* overreact!"
"Excuse me." The blond man stepped forward. "Name's Spike. I just want you to know there's nothing going on here you need to --"
"Fuck you."
"Fair enough." Spike crossed the room, retrieving his leather jacket from a chair. "I'm just gonna grab a drink then I'll be off."
"A drink?" Toby fumed.
"Well, I *was* interrupted, still got a bit of a thirst. I'm not going to make a fuss over the twenty quid I was promised, figured that's out of the question, but I could do with a beer." Toby and Chris stared after him as he went to the kitchen before they turned back to each other.
"Toby, I don't want you getting all worked up over this. It's not like I'm cheating or anything." Chris tried his best cajoling voice. "Maybe if you and I did it together sometime..."
Toby shook his head in disgust. "I don't need to try it to know that I don't like some strange guy sucking on you!"
"It's not like that."
"He was two inches from your cock!"
"Hey now," interrupted Spike, returning from the kitchen, a beer in hand, another in his pocket, "I don't think I like the direction this conversation is heading."
"Are you still here?"
"Apparently. Listen, Toby, you can rest assured, the love that dare not speak its name is not even being thought of here. Two reasons for that: one, I'm not wired that way, not that there's anything wrong with it. Two, Keller here is completely sotted with you. Head-over-heels, pie-in-the-sky, pulling-petals-off-a-daisy, enough-to-make-me-want-to-puke in love with you."
"And how would you know that?" Toby demanded, while Chris flashed Spike the thumbs-up behind his back.
"Because we played a few rounds of pool, had a couple pints before we found our way here, and you were all he talked about. He's mad about you."
"He has a pretty fucking odd way of showing it."
"Look, I don't understand it either. Some people just get off on the whole psuedo bite-me thing. It's a fetish, and a fairly harmless one, in my book. I make a few bucks, they get their itch scratched, everyone's happy. Except for you, of course."
Toby's shoulders sagged and he lowered himself to the couch. "God, we're so different. I don't know what we're doing together."
Chris dropped to his knees beside the couch, looking alarmed. "Don't say that, goddammit! You're so fucking pessimistic."
Spike took Chris' arm, pulling him to his feet. "Tell you what, let me help you out here." He put his arm around Chris' shoulders and walked him toward the hall. "Why don't you go take a nice soak or something, and I'll have a chat with your honey. Maybe I can offer a fresh perspective; I think you and I have something in common."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"Both of our love lives can be a bitch. In my case, an extremely dangerous, though sexy, one. What do you say?"
Chris tilted his head, smiled darkly. "You want me to leave you - a vampire - alone with Toby while he's so vulnerable?"
"Oh, come on!" Spike held his hand to his chest. "You doubt my intentions?"
"I barely fucking know you."
"Well, it's like I told you, I can't commit any more crimes against humanity, unless they give me permission, of course. He'll be fine."
"Why do you want to help us?"
"Oh, yes, let's get that over with. The money I said I wasn't going to bother you about? I was lying, of course. You double what you promised, plus the next time we bump into each other at the pub, you pick up my tab. Deal?"
Chris looked at Toby, still on the couch, his head in his hands. "Deal. But only if you can really help."
Spike held out his hand and Chris took it, squeezing tightly. "You hurt him, you're dead." Spike nodded his understanding, and Chris headed to the bathroom.
Spike pulled the other beer from his pocket, popping the top with his teeth. Back in the living room he handed it to Toby, pushed the coffee table back and took a seat on it.
Toby accepted the beer, looking skeptical, and took a long pull from it. "What do you want?" He looked around. "Where's Chris?"
"He thought it might be a good idea to give you some breathing room."
"With you?"
"I convinced him we had something in common. I know what it's like being in a difficult relationship, when the object of your desire is so different from you that you feel like separate species sometimes. So, what's the biggest hurdle in your race to a happy ending?"
Toby took another drink, eyeing Spike over the bottle. He opened his mouth, paused, seemed to consider whether to say anything or not and finally shrugged. "I thought he was over all this. I used to come home and find Chris 'doing business' as he called it, with men he wouldn't introduce me to, making phone calls he wouldn't let me hear. Then a few days letter he'd have all this money. I'm a fucking prosecutor; I couldn't have my boyfriend breaking the law like that."
"You said 'used to'. Has he quit the shady-deals business?"
Toby nodded. "But now he's coming home in the middle of the night, two, three times a week and I'm finding puncture marks all over him. I don't understand it. How can two such different people make any kind of relationship work?"
"Well, that sounds like it can be a strain, I admit. But I can do you one better."
"Yeah?"
Spike finished his beer and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "The bird that gets my knickers in a twist is a slayer."
"What's that?"
"It's pretty self-explanatory, isn't it? A person who slays. And what she slays is vampires."
"What? Your girlfriend kills vampires?"
Spike brought his finger to his nose. "On the button. So while I can sympathize with you being unhappy over Keller sneaking around where you think he ought not be, at least it's not his mission to kill every lawyer he sees."
Toby got up, pacing the room. "So why doesn't she kill you?"
Spike pointed to his head. "I've got a little chip here...long story. The short of it is that I can't hurt humans, thus earning me a reprieve from my lady love. But that doesn't keep the weirdness away, knowing she might have killed me by now if not for modern technology."
"All very interesting - what does this have to do with me and Chris?"
"Well, maybe he's doing what he's doing for the same reason I am. I can't let go of my true nature, which is to want to bite people and suck their blood. It's the dark side of me, which has been repressed, but not forgotten. And maybe it's the same for Keller. He's given up the darker side of life, but he can't completely get rid of it. And so he turns to something dangerous, forbidden. But it's something that doesn't hurt anyone."
Spike got to his feet, warming to his explanation. "Actually, it kind of hurts him, right? He's doing something he knows you don't like, and at the same time punishing himself for it by getting sharp pointies poked through his skin." Spike pushed his finger against his canine tooth. "This bugger can do some damage, you know."
He crossed his arms over his chest and grinned. "It's the old pain for pleasure scenario. Pretty good fuckin' analysis, don't you think?"
Toby pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes. When he brought them down, he looked distressed.
"So he's doing this because of me?"
Spike shrugged. "More like for you, I'd say."
Toby flopped down on the couch again. "This is fucked up." He finished off his beer. "What should I do?"
Spike went into the kitchen, returned with two more beers. "Here, take these, go talk to him. Tell him you still love him, in spite of everything. Get him to open up, tell you how he's feeling. If I had someone so ga-ga over me, I'd make it work."
Toby stood, took the bottles. "Your girlfriend isn't like that?"
Spike looked down, busying himself with the buttons of his coat. "Look," he finally said, moving to the door without looking up, "my situation is..." he cleared his throat, "it's different. Doomed from the start and all that, you might say." He opened the door, still with his back to Toby. "Maybe yours doesn't have to be." He stepped into the hall, pulling the door shut behind him.
Toby stared at the door for a long moment. Then he toed off his shoes, took a deep breath, and headed down the hall. A soft knock turned him back; Spike was standing in the doorway.
"Of course, everything I said could be just a lot of rot and rubbish. I'm a vampire, not a fucking head shrink." He held up his bottle of beer. "Thanks for the ale, though may I suggest you try something other than this brackish American pond water. Oh, and you better lock your door. There's all kinds of nasties out and about this time of night." The door closed and he was gone - again.
Toby locked the door, then leaned against it. "What the fuck just happened?" he wondered out loud. "I'm getting relationship advice from a vampire." He smiled as he walked from the room, toward Chris. "And I'm taking it."
-end-