(no subject)
So... I went to the Deadseason concert last night and it was good.
I would have had more fun if Mike hadn't gotten me in such a bad mood.
I told him that if he wants to talk to me or see me HE needs to call.
Cause I never know what mood hes gonna be in anymore and I'm tired of it.
He's also been lying to me for the past 5 or so months...
he was smoking pot and cigarettes.. confirmed by all his friends.
And he's still lying about doing it when we were dating...
I don't know why...
I mean he's chain smoking, and smoking pot at least twice a day so why doesn't he just tell me the truth?
It's not like even if I did care he would change for me anyway.
So... I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him again...
that not only throws any future relationship down the toilet...
but also a friendship.
I can't be someone's friend who can look me in the eyes and lie to me.
I honestly don't even know how it got to this...
and he won't talk about it so I may never know.
I've just got to move on,
and leave him alone.
I just hope he realizes that he's turning into his dad...
and that he's lost me.... forever.....
I also hope he gets help...
I had an ongoing anxiety attack today that just wouldn't go away...
it seemed like it was getting worse so I told my mom...
she gave me half a valium and I went to sleep.
I'm feeling a little better...
But I think I will have to go back to counseling...
and I blame myself and Mike for that....
This sucks...
Well... I don't want to get worked up anymore than I already am...
so I may write more tomorrow.
<333
I would have had more fun if Mike hadn't gotten me in such a bad mood.
I told him that if he wants to talk to me or see me HE needs to call.
Cause I never know what mood hes gonna be in anymore and I'm tired of it.
He's also been lying to me for the past 5 or so months...
he was smoking pot and cigarettes.. confirmed by all his friends.
And he's still lying about doing it when we were dating...
I don't know why...
I mean he's chain smoking, and smoking pot at least twice a day so why doesn't he just tell me the truth?
It's not like even if I did care he would change for me anyway.
So... I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him again...
that not only throws any future relationship down the toilet...
but also a friendship.
I can't be someone's friend who can look me in the eyes and lie to me.
I honestly don't even know how it got to this...
and he won't talk about it so I may never know.
I've just got to move on,
and leave him alone.
I just hope he realizes that he's turning into his dad...
and that he's lost me.... forever.....
I also hope he gets help...
I had an ongoing anxiety attack today that just wouldn't go away...
it seemed like it was getting worse so I told my mom...
she gave me half a valium and I went to sleep.
I'm feeling a little better...
But I think I will have to go back to counseling...
and I blame myself and Mike for that....
This sucks...
Well... I don't want to get worked up anymore than I already am...
so I may write more tomorrow.
<333