(no subject)
so after reading Mykayla's blog I'm feeling a little better. I hope I can stay strong and get through this.
I've been writing in my journal, on here or blogging on myspace nonstop. It's seems like my emotions are running wild and if I don't write them down I get burried by them and start crying all over again. I hate crying. I feel so weak and alone. My heart hurts and my face is swollen and pale. I lost my appetite and had to force myself to eat this morning because the thought of food depresses me and makes me sick. The only upside to it is that I won't be overeating. Maybe I'll even lost some noticable weight. I would love that.
Mike has band practice today..... I'm pretty sure.....
He said he might call...... or he might wait and call tomorrow.....
All I know is no matter how much I want to wait for him I can't do it. It puts to much stress on me and I'm not willing to jeapordize my progress. If I keep heading in the direction this pushed me in, I'm gonna have to go back to counseling. And I really don't want to. I'm so much stronger now, and I really want to be able to work things out on my own. I need to believe in myself and start picking up the pieces.
I can do this.