meh.
i hate memories.
and I really dont see the point in being awake anymore. im bored out of my mind. staying at my house or my dad's house would make no difference anymore. I only use AIM for an hour or two saturday and sunday and then I just rot in my fucking chair all weekend for the other 39 hours that I'm awake.
No wonder I'm getting fat. And my knee cracks every time I climb a single step.
But I'm grounded. I can't use the phone, get online at home (not that I need it...) and I most certainly can't go out on a school night. (grounded from that as well)
My friends stopped talking to me, I know I annoy some of them.
Not that it'll matter in the future. I'll graduate next year and never see them again.
My mom and stepdad are moving to wisconsin. I'll have to move with my dad. I know my aunt will resent me for that since I'm such a lazy ass. I'll promise her that I'll do chores, but I know I won't even do the dishes because there's no dish washer here.
I know I won't be able to move in with my grandparents because cory will probably want to if he doesn't move to wisconsin with my mom and eric.
You know, this is all shit I should be talking to Evie about. Who is my therapist.
But there's so much other shit I want to talk to her about. It's quite a shame the session is limited to an hour. And I can't miss classes to go to my appointments.
Soon my mom will start to forget the appointments and start cancelling them because she can't drive me. And I don't have a car so I can't take myself.
I need a car. I need a job to get a car. I can't get a job because yet again, I'm grounded.
And I'll be grounded even longer after wednesday because I still have F's. Somehow.
If I knew life would be like this while I was still a fetus, I would have choked myself with my umbilical cord and shit myself, choking on my own shit.
I'm sure that would have been better than wasting my time writing longass online journal entries at the age of 17. And still doing this bullshit I started 3 ½ years ago.
I'm sure I'll be okay tomorrow. Or something.
and I really dont see the point in being awake anymore. im bored out of my mind. staying at my house or my dad's house would make no difference anymore. I only use AIM for an hour or two saturday and sunday and then I just rot in my fucking chair all weekend for the other 39 hours that I'm awake.
No wonder I'm getting fat. And my knee cracks every time I climb a single step.
But I'm grounded. I can't use the phone, get online at home (not that I need it...) and I most certainly can't go out on a school night. (grounded from that as well)
My friends stopped talking to me, I know I annoy some of them.
Not that it'll matter in the future. I'll graduate next year and never see them again.
My mom and stepdad are moving to wisconsin. I'll have to move with my dad. I know my aunt will resent me for that since I'm such a lazy ass. I'll promise her that I'll do chores, but I know I won't even do the dishes because there's no dish washer here.
I know I won't be able to move in with my grandparents because cory will probably want to if he doesn't move to wisconsin with my mom and eric.
You know, this is all shit I should be talking to Evie about. Who is my therapist.
But there's so much other shit I want to talk to her about. It's quite a shame the session is limited to an hour. And I can't miss classes to go to my appointments.
Soon my mom will start to forget the appointments and start cancelling them because she can't drive me. And I don't have a car so I can't take myself.
I need a car. I need a job to get a car. I can't get a job because yet again, I'm grounded.
And I'll be grounded even longer after wednesday because I still have F's. Somehow.
If I knew life would be like this while I was still a fetus, I would have choked myself with my umbilical cord and shit myself, choking on my own shit.
I'm sure that would have been better than wasting my time writing longass online journal entries at the age of 17. And still doing this bullshit I started 3 ½ years ago.
I'm sure I'll be okay tomorrow. Or something.