Leap of Faith?
I know that now isn't the right time to try and start a relationship.. But.. Ugh.
Ive been friends with this guy for 5 or 6 years now.. And there's always been something between us.. We've had heart to hearts.. We've had nights.. But the timing has just always been fucked up.. And we've watched each other go through numerous relationships.. Sometimes it feels like we've already had a serious relationship.. But we've never even dated.
We fight all the time already as it is.. We go through periods of months where we don't even talk. A lot of that is centered around the fact that we know how to press each others buttons.. And also because there is some kind of tension between us.. And we've hurt each other before.
We had another night last night.. And this time Ive really stepped back and tried to take a look from the outside. It'd be a shame if it was all just a drunken fiasco.. But I cant help but think that maybe there really is something between us.. Something much deeper than I can even fathom.
Ive always said that I can see a relationship between the two of us being amazing.. And even that scares me. If I were to get with him it would be deep.. And I dont know if Im ready for that. And I would be so dissapointed if it didnt turn out the way that I picture it.
And for the first time in my life.. When I say that I dont know if I want to date someone because Id be afraid of losing the friendship.. I really mean it. It's not just an excuse that we've all used before. I see how he is with his ex-girlfriends.. I see how he's written me off before.. It's pretty clear that if things didnt work out.. Our friendship wouldnt last.
But I dont know.. Maybe that's a chance Im willing to take. Maybe the timing is finally right. Maybe this is supposed to be happening. Maybe one day I wont have the chance to be with him and I'll regret never actually giving it a chance.
There's a lot of things Id have to talk to him about first.. And its definately not something that I want to just jump right into. But I guess if a little while down the road from now.. We're both on the same page.. Things could work.
Ai me.
What the hell.
I think I might just go for it.
Ive been friends with this guy for 5 or 6 years now.. And there's always been something between us.. We've had heart to hearts.. We've had nights.. But the timing has just always been fucked up.. And we've watched each other go through numerous relationships.. Sometimes it feels like we've already had a serious relationship.. But we've never even dated.
We fight all the time already as it is.. We go through periods of months where we don't even talk. A lot of that is centered around the fact that we know how to press each others buttons.. And also because there is some kind of tension between us.. And we've hurt each other before.
We had another night last night.. And this time Ive really stepped back and tried to take a look from the outside. It'd be a shame if it was all just a drunken fiasco.. But I cant help but think that maybe there really is something between us.. Something much deeper than I can even fathom.
Ive always said that I can see a relationship between the two of us being amazing.. And even that scares me. If I were to get with him it would be deep.. And I dont know if Im ready for that. And I would be so dissapointed if it didnt turn out the way that I picture it.
And for the first time in my life.. When I say that I dont know if I want to date someone because Id be afraid of losing the friendship.. I really mean it. It's not just an excuse that we've all used before. I see how he is with his ex-girlfriends.. I see how he's written me off before.. It's pretty clear that if things didnt work out.. Our friendship wouldnt last.
But I dont know.. Maybe that's a chance Im willing to take. Maybe the timing is finally right. Maybe this is supposed to be happening. Maybe one day I wont have the chance to be with him and I'll regret never actually giving it a chance.
There's a lot of things Id have to talk to him about first.. And its definately not something that I want to just jump right into. But I guess if a little while down the road from now.. We're both on the same page.. Things could work.
Ai me.
What the hell.
I think I might just go for it.