It's safe here...
I feel ok typing this out here because it pertains to absolutely no one who may or may not actually read this:
Yes, I realize that I myself have been pretty flaky the last couple of months. Maybe even the last year - I don't know. All of the changes that I have come across and run into and all of the pits and valleys I went through last year really affected my relationships with many people. But my personal relationships are really very important to me, and so my true friends understand when I am just really low and don't want to talk to people or when I seriously am so busy and stressed that I forget to call back... I know it pisses them off - but they forgive me and everything is once again alright in the universe.
However. I am absolutely so freaking without a doubt pissed off at the way that I have been treated by a few. This isn't the "i'm so stressed and I am so sorry that I haven't called". This is the obvious blow off. This is the "I can't count on you to be anywhere or do anything that you say you will". This is the "I am going to lie straight to your face even though I KNOW you are going to find out". I know I have ranted and vented and exploded over this same thing a million times before, but seriously. My feelings are hurt. Seriously hurt. I wish I didn't care so much about people and just let these relationships go... let these people continue on with their lives hurting someone else and not affecting me. I wish I could.
I apologize right now to anyone reading this who may feel that I have flaked out or just turned into a terrible friend - I feel like a terrible friend. I am trying to make more of an effort, definitely, to reconnect with most of my true friends. I feel like I am stable in the classroom and able to take a weekend to myself, so many of you should expect phone calls.... but to those of you who are seriously deliberately being hurtful - screw you. I'm done.
Yes, I realize that I myself have been pretty flaky the last couple of months. Maybe even the last year - I don't know. All of the changes that I have come across and run into and all of the pits and valleys I went through last year really affected my relationships with many people. But my personal relationships are really very important to me, and so my true friends understand when I am just really low and don't want to talk to people or when I seriously am so busy and stressed that I forget to call back... I know it pisses them off - but they forgive me and everything is once again alright in the universe.
However. I am absolutely so freaking without a doubt pissed off at the way that I have been treated by a few. This isn't the "i'm so stressed and I am so sorry that I haven't called". This is the obvious blow off. This is the "I can't count on you to be anywhere or do anything that you say you will". This is the "I am going to lie straight to your face even though I KNOW you are going to find out". I know I have ranted and vented and exploded over this same thing a million times before, but seriously. My feelings are hurt. Seriously hurt. I wish I didn't care so much about people and just let these relationships go... let these people continue on with their lives hurting someone else and not affecting me. I wish I could.
I apologize right now to anyone reading this who may feel that I have flaked out or just turned into a terrible friend - I feel like a terrible friend. I am trying to make more of an effort, definitely, to reconnect with most of my true friends. I feel like I am stable in the classroom and able to take a weekend to myself, so many of you should expect phone calls.... but to those of you who are seriously deliberately being hurtful - screw you. I'm done.