It's the end of an era.....
Well, i'm almost done. Those of you who read this and REALLY know me know just how badly my emotions are raging right now. I'm struggling with the innate sense of detachment my self conscious is putting me through. I'm sorry if I haven't seen you in a while. I guess it's easier to move on from things if I just don't see them. Almost out of sight out of mind? Not that I can ever forget you guys.
I guess I am just now realizing how hard it is going to be in the next few months. Not only am I moving back INTO the war zone...the one place that peaks my anxiety levels upon crossing the threshold.... but I'll be there alone. My support system. My friends are so far away. But close. I will be back. As often as student teaching allows. It's just so weird. I am ever so grateful that I will have Erin going through the same thing as me. Close by. And Myla ... who has been there before... and Siobhan... who really has no clue about teaching but every idea in the world as to what it means to be a grownup..... But what happens when Alyssa has a bad day. Whos going to force their way into her house and forget to bring tissues but make her laugh and lay on her bed with her and talk about the many things that we hate about our lives which of course segues into how we have so many things to be grateful for. And who am I going to go bother at 10:00 at night and play Doctor Mario with and be ever so loud just to be squeaked back at and know that it's all in good fun. And how am I supposed to "train" my good friend Joshua in the ways of the world? Whos going to drive to dollar wells? Whos even going to GO to dollar wells?
I don't even have the cover of a different month to mask the harsh reality that college is almost over for me. It's so close. I just don't even know what to make of it right now.
This is the longest entry ever. I'm freaking out. I suppose that means I should go. I have more to say... but I'm going to wait. Sorry for the rambling. I just need to get things out in the open.
I guess I am just now realizing how hard it is going to be in the next few months. Not only am I moving back INTO the war zone...the one place that peaks my anxiety levels upon crossing the threshold.... but I'll be there alone. My support system. My friends are so far away. But close. I will be back. As often as student teaching allows. It's just so weird. I am ever so grateful that I will have Erin going through the same thing as me. Close by. And Myla ... who has been there before... and Siobhan... who really has no clue about teaching but every idea in the world as to what it means to be a grownup..... But what happens when Alyssa has a bad day. Whos going to force their way into her house and forget to bring tissues but make her laugh and lay on her bed with her and talk about the many things that we hate about our lives which of course segues into how we have so many things to be grateful for. And who am I going to go bother at 10:00 at night and play Doctor Mario with and be ever so loud just to be squeaked back at and know that it's all in good fun. And how am I supposed to "train" my good friend Joshua in the ways of the world? Whos going to drive to dollar wells? Whos even going to GO to dollar wells?
I don't even have the cover of a different month to mask the harsh reality that college is almost over for me. It's so close. I just don't even know what to make of it right now.
This is the longest entry ever. I'm freaking out. I suppose that means I should go. I have more to say... but I'm going to wait. Sorry for the rambling. I just need to get things out in the open.