(no subject)
Sure sucks to pay 250 of my hard earned dollars to a dentist to rip a tooth out of my mouth, and then be writing on livejournal at 5:55 in the morning because the medication is keeping me from getting a deccent nights sleep. It was the worst experience of my known existence. I of course decided to forgo the anesthesia, as that costs a shitload extra, and stayed awake while they pulled that sucker out. As soon as they were done, I started crying. Now you all who know me know that I don't cry about alot, and I wasn't even in pain at this point. So, I wasn't hurting, and I wasn't sad about anything, and yet I cried. I cried in the doctor's chair, I cried all the way home, and cried for the next hour after that. So what the fuck for??????? I still don't know. It's like the switch that you use to express and control emotion was broken, and my body was free to do what it wanted without my consent. It was the singularly most weird, bizarre, and terrible experience of my life. I don't like crying even when I've got a good reason, and I am no fan of crying over nothing. So anyways, that was weird, and now I have a hole in my mouth. Hooray for having the worst teeth of anyone I know.
But i can say this. I have THE worlds absolute coolest manager. He is truly the best ever, and I am gonna miss him dearly when I am gone. He changed his entire schedule yesterday, so that he came into work when he was supposed to be leaving, so that in case I couldn't come to work he would be there. He bought me dinner, and helped me out all night long, and made sure I was alright. He is great.
I can also say this. My boyfriend asked me the question "what would I say if he asked me to marry him today?" And wow, I have been dreaming about it all night. Marriage is, I think, probably the scariest idea in the world. I think it is nothing to be toyed with, and I think people don't give it the respect it should have. I believe it can be the best or the worst decision you can ever make, and I think way too many people are complete strangers to the amount of commitment and selflessness that has to go into a marriage to make it work. And here I am, thinking about doing it myself. And you know what? I totally would. And that is crazy strange to me. I never thought I would get past the fear of the whole idea long enough to actually say yes and do it, but I think I totally could. Not tommorrow, or the next day, or the next, but I could totally write my name in the future log book of marriage to Mike.
I have begun packing up all my shit for Florida, and its sort of strange to be packing it all away. This will be the first time I move out of the house. I have been excited about leaving the whole time, and I still am excited about it. But this has been the first taste of the reality that I actually am leaving, and that when the time comes, I am seriously going to be a sad person when I leave, for I will miss the HELL out of some people that I am leaving here in Georgia. So the day I leave is gonna be the most mixed emotions day I think I will have ever had up to date. Maybe then I will cry for an actual reason!
Ok, this entry is long as hell. Probably no one will read the whole thing. It's cool. It's now 6:13 and I think I might be able to go back to sleep now. Here's hopin.....
But i can say this. I have THE worlds absolute coolest manager. He is truly the best ever, and I am gonna miss him dearly when I am gone. He changed his entire schedule yesterday, so that he came into work when he was supposed to be leaving, so that in case I couldn't come to work he would be there. He bought me dinner, and helped me out all night long, and made sure I was alright. He is great.
I can also say this. My boyfriend asked me the question "what would I say if he asked me to marry him today?" And wow, I have been dreaming about it all night. Marriage is, I think, probably the scariest idea in the world. I think it is nothing to be toyed with, and I think people don't give it the respect it should have. I believe it can be the best or the worst decision you can ever make, and I think way too many people are complete strangers to the amount of commitment and selflessness that has to go into a marriage to make it work. And here I am, thinking about doing it myself. And you know what? I totally would. And that is crazy strange to me. I never thought I would get past the fear of the whole idea long enough to actually say yes and do it, but I think I totally could. Not tommorrow, or the next day, or the next, but I could totally write my name in the future log book of marriage to Mike.
I have begun packing up all my shit for Florida, and its sort of strange to be packing it all away. This will be the first time I move out of the house. I have been excited about leaving the whole time, and I still am excited about it. But this has been the first taste of the reality that I actually am leaving, and that when the time comes, I am seriously going to be a sad person when I leave, for I will miss the HELL out of some people that I am leaving here in Georgia. So the day I leave is gonna be the most mixed emotions day I think I will have ever had up to date. Maybe then I will cry for an actual reason!
Ok, this entry is long as hell. Probably no one will read the whole thing. It's cool. It's now 6:13 and I think I might be able to go back to sleep now. Here's hopin.....