[Log] Ryuuken Ishida, Uryuu Ishida
Title: Blood-tied Strangers
Characters: Dr. Ryuuken Ishida (lcpdragonslayer), Uryuu Ishida jikeidannin)
Timeline: March 6th, 1939
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Uryuu confronts Ryuuken about Souken, fatherhood and priorities in life.
Uryuu couldn't exactly say that he was expecting to see Ryuuken at the funeral. He knew better, really. His father wasn't the type that liked to "waste time," and this was probably just that. All the same, such an absence was more unforgivable than anything else, in Uryuu's eyes. It was bad enough that Ryuuken hadn't been able to actually save Souken from the sickness that killed him. But to not even come here to his funeral?
Uryuu had been excused from school for the day following the funeral. He sat at home, thinking about the absence of Souken's presence in his life. Even though he'd lived in this house with Ryuuken for awhile now, it was strange to him. This place was not home, as far as he was concerned. He'd spent most of his life with Souken, after all, and he had no real attachment to the father that he never saw.
As he sat listening to the radio talk about nothing important, he realized that he was incredibly angry at Ryuuken. How was he going to manage living in this house? The absence of Souken in his life was more than just a physical presence. He had lost so much, and Ryuuken didn't even have the decency to pay any respect to the man!
Finally, Uryuu decided that if he was going to be forced to live in this house, he had to say something. And he didn't want to wait for Ryuuken to deign to come home, either. It would be easier to get his attention another way.
He knew where the hospital was, of course, and it was easy to get there. He wasn't too familiar with the staff, but it didn't take that much effort to find out where his father was. The nurses seemed to think he was "cute," and although he couldn't say he appreciated the description, it helped get him where he needed to go a little faster, and he tolerated it as best as he could.
Uryuu didn't bother knocking on the door. He was too mad, and coming here just got him all worked up again. He tried to stay calm, but there was only so much he could do. It was really just too much, and he burst into the room, not thinking about whatever consequences his actions might cause.
The day had started out unusually early because of the monthly staff meeting Ryuuken was supposed to hold. Ryuuken hadn't been director of this hospital for very long but he was getting used to holding these briefings. He was also hoping that he could change this so that they would hold these meetings quarterly. It would save all the staff a lot of time and give his patients more adequate care.
His patients... They were all his patients. They were all his responsibility. He had people by his side holding up the establishment but he held himself accountable for the health, safety and livelihood of these people, who put their faith and trust in him.
After briefing his doctors on the new equipment coming in, as well as the new members of staff joining on to the respective teams, there were still a few staff reviews to do. There were new staff that needed to be assigned to different departments and older staff that needed... attention, be it for lack of commitment to the job or otherwise.
Ryuuken paused for a moment, flipping through the manila file before speaking.
"Now, with regard to Vivie-"
He did not manage to finish the name when the door slammed open, silence fell upon the room and all heads turned to...
Uryuu Ishida.
A flustered nurse came in straight after him, lingering by the doorway.
"I'm so sorry, Director. I was s-"
"It's fine. Go."
Clearly flushed and embarrassed, she made herself scarce as quickly as possible, going back to busy herself with her work.
"If you would please excuse me," Ryuuken said with a small smile and a slight bow to his staff. "This will only take a moment."
Placing the manila file on the table, Ryuuken walked straight past Uryuu without even giving the boy a glance, let alone saying anything to him, stepping out of the meeting room, heading straight for his office. He assumed Uryuu was looking for him and not any of the other doctors in the meeting room.
Uryuu ignored the nurse entirely. He'd been vaguely aware of her presence behind him, but he hadn't cared. Seeing his father's face, feeling that repeated indifference, all of it only made him madder. He balled his hands into fists and trailed after Ryuuken, raging silently the whole way.
The door was hardly shut behind him before he started.
"What on earth gives you the right to act as if anyone unlucky enough to share your blood is worth nothing?" he demanded. He managed to keep his tone level, but there was a lot underneath the surface of his words. He hadn't thought out what he wanted to say ahead of time, and the words threatened to run away from him.
With Uryuu, it was always an uphill struggle. In fact, uphill struggle was an understatement. It was like fighting a battle using just his bare fists with half his body's volume of blood on the floor.
"Didn't Souken teach you any manners?" Ryuuken said, leaning back against his desk as he removed his glasses and lowered his head a little, pinching the bridge of his nose, almost completely ignoring what Uryuu had just said to him.
"I was in an important meeting. Next time you could at least knock," Ryuuken added as he wiped his glasses off with the bottom of his shirt.
Replacing them, he slipped his hands into his pockets, groping around in his coat for the pack of cigarettes while he thought about and addressed Uryuu's... statement.
"Your assumptions, as usual, are ridiculous and baseless. Don't waste my time, Uryuu. What exactly do you want to say?"
Uryuu bristled visibly at the mention of Souken. He hadn't been in any mind to hear that name, especially not from Ryuuken. He tried to think of some insulting thing to say back to his father, but his words escaped him for a full minute. He turned and looked out the window, still raging. He could feel his fingernails digging into his palms, but he didn't unlock his fists.
Finally, he said, "What could I possibly do that wouldn't be considered a waste of time for a man who cannot even attend his own father's funeral?" He didn't look back at Ryuuken, not wanting to see the detachment he was sure he'd see in the man's eyes.
"For one, you could actually make use of the brain inside your head and take your education more seriously."
He found the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and fished one stick out with his lips, lighting it with the lighter on his table.
"I was scheduled to perform a couple of surgeries on the day of the funeral. I cannot be in two places at once. I was treating someone so that he would not have to end up like Souken and his family need not attend his funeral. My priorities might not be the same as yours but I am doing what I believe is right. I can visit Souken's grave any day but I cannot save someone from the brink of death as and when I like."
He took a drag from his cigarette, blowing thin grey smoke into the air.
"I don't expect you to understand, Uryuu, but I don't interfere with your affairs despite my approval or not. I run this hospital and am responsible for everyone in it, and you cannot walk in and start a scene whenever you feel like it."
Uryuu made a face at the smoke. He'd never liked the smell of cigarettes, and the smoke itself was even worse. He'd also never understood why a doctor would smoke, but that was an argument for another time.
"I take my education more seriously than you take me," he said, finally managing to cross his arms, "I'm ahead in my classes. You might know that if you cared about your own family as much as you claim to care about everyone else's. Are there no other surgeons in the hospital?! You can't even..."
He trailed off again, feeling his throat clog. He'd thought he was finished crying over his grandfather's death, but he was still a child, and couldn't control his emotions as well as he wanted to.
He thought for a minute about saying that funerals were for the people who lived, not the ones who died. He'd been told that by a teacher, and it made sense to him, but it probably wouldn't get him anything but more of his father's eternal disapproval.
He managed to summon his anger again and said, "You can't disagree with my choices when you don't even know what they are! You don't know anything about me, and you don't care! You didn't care about your own father, or you'd have saved his life along with everyone else's!"
"There are numerous other surgeons in the hospital but there are even greater numbers of patients needing treatment. Right now as we speak there are people dying on my hospital beds and there will never be enough personnel to be able to cope with the number of people who require medical assistance."
It was true that Ryuuken didn't spend enough time at home with Uryuu to be considered even a father, let alone a decent one - but his work here was more important than looking after one child at home. The workload only increased despite chipping away at it all the time and Ryuuken couldn't deal with home as well as the hospital and expect to retain any of his sanity.
"I don't know you as well as some people might, Uryuu, but I know you well enough. Whatever frivolous ideas Souken might have put into your head about pursuing your 'dreams' and taking archery more seriously than a hobby - forget about it. You can't do anything with your life and your brain if you plan to just meander along and do whatever you like."
They had had this discussion before - Uryuu clearly was capable enough but was lacking in motivation - among other things.
"I don't have to explain myself to you, Uryuu. He could not have been operated on and even if anything could be done, it would have been a waste of time and resources to take the risks to prolong his life."
Uryuu finally looked up directly into his father's eyes. He didn't find anything there that he was unfamiliar with, and the realization hit him that he really had no idea who this man was. They were related by blood, though it became clearer to him that they were not related by choice. At least, not by his choice.
"What if it were me? Would you do anything to save my life, or would you tell me that I had wasted it and it was my own fault?" he asked, his tone darkening. He was sure he knew the answer. He was always sure he knew.
"How can you even call yourself my father?"
"If you haven't noticed, I haven't been calling you my son either."
Ryuuken didn't say it to get back at a little boy or stir him up. It was just a matter of fact - black and white, as if it were any other thing in his hospital.
"And if you really want to know, it would depend on the circumstances. As a doctor I am obliged to do all that I can to save your life. Though I would prefer it if you could try to stay out of harm's way - a bed taken up by you means one lesser bed for someone else."
Uryuu's eyes widened with shock. He didn't know that he'd ever been so outraged at anything in his short life. Souken's death, Ryuuken's refusal to act like a decent human being, it was...unbelievable.
"Obligated. Well, I supposed I shouldn't expect you to do anything on account of me. I should have know better. I would have rather had anyone else as my family, Ryuuken."
He had never been entirely respectful towards his father, of course, but he'd never called him by name, either.
Hearing his own name - that was a new one. Wasn't entirely unexpected but even in the hospital no one called him by his first name.
"Unfortunately family happens to be one of those things in life where you cannot exchange the people within them or wish them to be someone else. I have to live with you and you have to live with me and that will not change, whatever you happen to do or think about it. I don't owe you anything, Uryuu, and you don't owe me anything."
It had been far too long since he had had this sort of discussion with... anyone, let alone Uryuu.
Extinguishing the cigarette on the ashtray, Ryuuken blew smoke into the air and folded his arms.
"Was there anything else? I have a meeting you have suspended that I need to return to."
Uryuu pushed his glasses up on his nose and narrowed his eyes. There was nothing about the man in front of him that he could even stand. The thought of sharing a house was made bearable only by the thought that Ryuuken was, in fact, never in it. He made a point to leave as soon as he was old enough.
"No. I came here to find out if you were really as heartless as I thought you were, and I found my answer. You are correct - I don't owe you anything. And I don't need your approval for either my hobbies or my goals. Not that you'd know anything about that, outside the way you view me."
He straightened up as tall as he could manage and turned to leave.
Ryuuken didn't reply as Uryuu stormed out of the door, instead remaining still, leaning against his desk, his gaze distant. A long time ago, things were different. Ryuuken was possibly busier than he was now but Uryuu had been a joy. He looked forward to going home and spending what little spare time he had with his family.
And then she was gone, and he despised the place and everything in it that reminded him of her. He could stitch the world up with his hands but he couldn't mend his relationship with Uryuu - possibly the only thing left in this world that he should... be concerned about.
With a sigh, he straightened and exited his office. There was the meeting to finish up, now that they were behind schedule - more paperwork to do, rounds to complete, doctors whom are away that he had to cover up for. It was still too early in the day to be wanting a break.
He had not expected for a son to be such a headache.
Characters: Dr. Ryuuken Ishida (lcpdragonslayer), Uryuu Ishida jikeidannin)
Timeline: March 6th, 1939
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Uryuu confronts Ryuuken about Souken, fatherhood and priorities in life.
Uryuu couldn't exactly say that he was expecting to see Ryuuken at the funeral. He knew better, really. His father wasn't the type that liked to "waste time," and this was probably just that. All the same, such an absence was more unforgivable than anything else, in Uryuu's eyes. It was bad enough that Ryuuken hadn't been able to actually save Souken from the sickness that killed him. But to not even come here to his funeral?
Uryuu had been excused from school for the day following the funeral. He sat at home, thinking about the absence of Souken's presence in his life. Even though he'd lived in this house with Ryuuken for awhile now, it was strange to him. This place was not home, as far as he was concerned. He'd spent most of his life with Souken, after all, and he had no real attachment to the father that he never saw.
As he sat listening to the radio talk about nothing important, he realized that he was incredibly angry at Ryuuken. How was he going to manage living in this house? The absence of Souken in his life was more than just a physical presence. He had lost so much, and Ryuuken didn't even have the decency to pay any respect to the man!
Finally, Uryuu decided that if he was going to be forced to live in this house, he had to say something. And he didn't want to wait for Ryuuken to deign to come home, either. It would be easier to get his attention another way.
He knew where the hospital was, of course, and it was easy to get there. He wasn't too familiar with the staff, but it didn't take that much effort to find out where his father was. The nurses seemed to think he was "cute," and although he couldn't say he appreciated the description, it helped get him where he needed to go a little faster, and he tolerated it as best as he could.
Uryuu didn't bother knocking on the door. He was too mad, and coming here just got him all worked up again. He tried to stay calm, but there was only so much he could do. It was really just too much, and he burst into the room, not thinking about whatever consequences his actions might cause.
The day had started out unusually early because of the monthly staff meeting Ryuuken was supposed to hold. Ryuuken hadn't been director of this hospital for very long but he was getting used to holding these briefings. He was also hoping that he could change this so that they would hold these meetings quarterly. It would save all the staff a lot of time and give his patients more adequate care.
His patients... They were all his patients. They were all his responsibility. He had people by his side holding up the establishment but he held himself accountable for the health, safety and livelihood of these people, who put their faith and trust in him.
After briefing his doctors on the new equipment coming in, as well as the new members of staff joining on to the respective teams, there were still a few staff reviews to do. There were new staff that needed to be assigned to different departments and older staff that needed... attention, be it for lack of commitment to the job or otherwise.
Ryuuken paused for a moment, flipping through the manila file before speaking.
"Now, with regard to Vivie-"
He did not manage to finish the name when the door slammed open, silence fell upon the room and all heads turned to...
Uryuu Ishida.
A flustered nurse came in straight after him, lingering by the doorway.
"I'm so sorry, Director. I was s-"
"It's fine. Go."
Clearly flushed and embarrassed, she made herself scarce as quickly as possible, going back to busy herself with her work.
"If you would please excuse me," Ryuuken said with a small smile and a slight bow to his staff. "This will only take a moment."
Placing the manila file on the table, Ryuuken walked straight past Uryuu without even giving the boy a glance, let alone saying anything to him, stepping out of the meeting room, heading straight for his office. He assumed Uryuu was looking for him and not any of the other doctors in the meeting room.
Uryuu ignored the nurse entirely. He'd been vaguely aware of her presence behind him, but he hadn't cared. Seeing his father's face, feeling that repeated indifference, all of it only made him madder. He balled his hands into fists and trailed after Ryuuken, raging silently the whole way.
The door was hardly shut behind him before he started.
"What on earth gives you the right to act as if anyone unlucky enough to share your blood is worth nothing?" he demanded. He managed to keep his tone level, but there was a lot underneath the surface of his words. He hadn't thought out what he wanted to say ahead of time, and the words threatened to run away from him.
With Uryuu, it was always an uphill struggle. In fact, uphill struggle was an understatement. It was like fighting a battle using just his bare fists with half his body's volume of blood on the floor.
"Didn't Souken teach you any manners?" Ryuuken said, leaning back against his desk as he removed his glasses and lowered his head a little, pinching the bridge of his nose, almost completely ignoring what Uryuu had just said to him.
"I was in an important meeting. Next time you could at least knock," Ryuuken added as he wiped his glasses off with the bottom of his shirt.
Replacing them, he slipped his hands into his pockets, groping around in his coat for the pack of cigarettes while he thought about and addressed Uryuu's... statement.
"Your assumptions, as usual, are ridiculous and baseless. Don't waste my time, Uryuu. What exactly do you want to say?"
Uryuu bristled visibly at the mention of Souken. He hadn't been in any mind to hear that name, especially not from Ryuuken. He tried to think of some insulting thing to say back to his father, but his words escaped him for a full minute. He turned and looked out the window, still raging. He could feel his fingernails digging into his palms, but he didn't unlock his fists.
Finally, he said, "What could I possibly do that wouldn't be considered a waste of time for a man who cannot even attend his own father's funeral?" He didn't look back at Ryuuken, not wanting to see the detachment he was sure he'd see in the man's eyes.
"For one, you could actually make use of the brain inside your head and take your education more seriously."
He found the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and fished one stick out with his lips, lighting it with the lighter on his table.
"I was scheduled to perform a couple of surgeries on the day of the funeral. I cannot be in two places at once. I was treating someone so that he would not have to end up like Souken and his family need not attend his funeral. My priorities might not be the same as yours but I am doing what I believe is right. I can visit Souken's grave any day but I cannot save someone from the brink of death as and when I like."
He took a drag from his cigarette, blowing thin grey smoke into the air.
"I don't expect you to understand, Uryuu, but I don't interfere with your affairs despite my approval or not. I run this hospital and am responsible for everyone in it, and you cannot walk in and start a scene whenever you feel like it."
Uryuu made a face at the smoke. He'd never liked the smell of cigarettes, and the smoke itself was even worse. He'd also never understood why a doctor would smoke, but that was an argument for another time.
"I take my education more seriously than you take me," he said, finally managing to cross his arms, "I'm ahead in my classes. You might know that if you cared about your own family as much as you claim to care about everyone else's. Are there no other surgeons in the hospital?! You can't even..."
He trailed off again, feeling his throat clog. He'd thought he was finished crying over his grandfather's death, but he was still a child, and couldn't control his emotions as well as he wanted to.
He thought for a minute about saying that funerals were for the people who lived, not the ones who died. He'd been told that by a teacher, and it made sense to him, but it probably wouldn't get him anything but more of his father's eternal disapproval.
He managed to summon his anger again and said, "You can't disagree with my choices when you don't even know what they are! You don't know anything about me, and you don't care! You didn't care about your own father, or you'd have saved his life along with everyone else's!"
"There are numerous other surgeons in the hospital but there are even greater numbers of patients needing treatment. Right now as we speak there are people dying on my hospital beds and there will never be enough personnel to be able to cope with the number of people who require medical assistance."
It was true that Ryuuken didn't spend enough time at home with Uryuu to be considered even a father, let alone a decent one - but his work here was more important than looking after one child at home. The workload only increased despite chipping away at it all the time and Ryuuken couldn't deal with home as well as the hospital and expect to retain any of his sanity.
"I don't know you as well as some people might, Uryuu, but I know you well enough. Whatever frivolous ideas Souken might have put into your head about pursuing your 'dreams' and taking archery more seriously than a hobby - forget about it. You can't do anything with your life and your brain if you plan to just meander along and do whatever you like."
They had had this discussion before - Uryuu clearly was capable enough but was lacking in motivation - among other things.
"I don't have to explain myself to you, Uryuu. He could not have been operated on and even if anything could be done, it would have been a waste of time and resources to take the risks to prolong his life."
Uryuu finally looked up directly into his father's eyes. He didn't find anything there that he was unfamiliar with, and the realization hit him that he really had no idea who this man was. They were related by blood, though it became clearer to him that they were not related by choice. At least, not by his choice.
"What if it were me? Would you do anything to save my life, or would you tell me that I had wasted it and it was my own fault?" he asked, his tone darkening. He was sure he knew the answer. He was always sure he knew.
"How can you even call yourself my father?"
"If you haven't noticed, I haven't been calling you my son either."
Ryuuken didn't say it to get back at a little boy or stir him up. It was just a matter of fact - black and white, as if it were any other thing in his hospital.
"And if you really want to know, it would depend on the circumstances. As a doctor I am obliged to do all that I can to save your life. Though I would prefer it if you could try to stay out of harm's way - a bed taken up by you means one lesser bed for someone else."
Uryuu's eyes widened with shock. He didn't know that he'd ever been so outraged at anything in his short life. Souken's death, Ryuuken's refusal to act like a decent human being, it was...unbelievable.
"Obligated. Well, I supposed I shouldn't expect you to do anything on account of me. I should have know better. I would have rather had anyone else as my family, Ryuuken."
He had never been entirely respectful towards his father, of course, but he'd never called him by name, either.
Hearing his own name - that was a new one. Wasn't entirely unexpected but even in the hospital no one called him by his first name.
"Unfortunately family happens to be one of those things in life where you cannot exchange the people within them or wish them to be someone else. I have to live with you and you have to live with me and that will not change, whatever you happen to do or think about it. I don't owe you anything, Uryuu, and you don't owe me anything."
It had been far too long since he had had this sort of discussion with... anyone, let alone Uryuu.
Extinguishing the cigarette on the ashtray, Ryuuken blew smoke into the air and folded his arms.
"Was there anything else? I have a meeting you have suspended that I need to return to."
Uryuu pushed his glasses up on his nose and narrowed his eyes. There was nothing about the man in front of him that he could even stand. The thought of sharing a house was made bearable only by the thought that Ryuuken was, in fact, never in it. He made a point to leave as soon as he was old enough.
"No. I came here to find out if you were really as heartless as I thought you were, and I found my answer. You are correct - I don't owe you anything. And I don't need your approval for either my hobbies or my goals. Not that you'd know anything about that, outside the way you view me."
He straightened up as tall as he could manage and turned to leave.
Ryuuken didn't reply as Uryuu stormed out of the door, instead remaining still, leaning against his desk, his gaze distant. A long time ago, things were different. Ryuuken was possibly busier than he was now but Uryuu had been a joy. He looked forward to going home and spending what little spare time he had with his family.
And then she was gone, and he despised the place and everything in it that reminded him of her. He could stitch the world up with his hands but he couldn't mend his relationship with Uryuu - possibly the only thing left in this world that he should... be concerned about.
With a sigh, he straightened and exited his office. There was the meeting to finish up, now that they were behind schedule - more paperwork to do, rounds to complete, doctors whom are away that he had to cover up for. It was still too early in the day to be wanting a break.
He had not expected for a son to be such a headache.