[Log], Gin Ichimaru, Rangiku Matsumoto
Title: Behind the Eight Ball, Pt 1
Characters: Gin Ichiamaru (lcpdragonslayer), Rangiku Matsumoto (some_scribbles)
Timeline: February 22nd, 1950
Rating: PG-13 (because pool is a dirty, dirty game)
Summary: Gin is a good teacher and Rangiku discovers the evils of a pool hall first hand.
Gin wondered if this was the first time Ran had been to Selangor. It was a small place - roughly the same size as the Black Sheep, even though it appeared more cramped and cluttered because of the pool tables off to the side, just outside the bathrooms. The bar was on the other side of the pub, as was the darts, stage and dinner areas. On the side with the pool tables were the jukebox and a few high tables and chairs. It was a Wednesday night, and weekdays were usually less crowded. People like Gin though - the kind of people who frequented this place - they had nothing close to normal working hours, and Gin must have known about 4 out of 5 of the patrons. In fact, he was swarmed for the first few minutes, just talking to people and steering his conversations away from his work with Ran hanging around him. The last thing he wanted for her to know was about the botched drugs trade last week or the status of the people the Concavos wanted dead.
When Gin and Ran had finally gotten their alone time, they got their drinks and headed over to the pool tables. A light bulb hanging overhead each table illuminated the otherwise dim corner of the pub, and it was easy to see that one of the three pool tables was being used. Gin knew the players on the other table - they even waved him over, teased him about Ran and asked him to join in their game.
“Maybe ‘nother time.”
“Gonna play with your girlfriend?”
“She ain’t my girlfriend, bo.”
“You’ve got good taste. Your babe has nice... a nice chest...”
“Keep lookin’ n’ I jus’ might drill ya in the fuckin’ noodle.”
“Hey - I was only joking! And you say she isn't your girlfriend... Tch. Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it.”
This was exactly why Gin insisted on picking her up - leaving her alone with these sorts of people around in this kind of place was... dangerous, to say the least. He crouched down the end of one of the vacant tables and started taking out all the coloured balls, placing them on the velvet green tabletop before fishing out the wooden triangle.
Setting the triangle over a little mark on the table, Gin arranged all the coloured balls inside, alternating the striped ones with the solids or completely coloured balls, rolling them around a bit before lifting the triangle and sliding it back down into the pocket.
He walked around to the other end of the pool table and placed the white ball on the small black ‘x’.
“We ready, Ran?”
She’d stared around at the inside of Selangor like some rube. It was her first time in a pool hall, after all, and there was always some hoity-toity so-and-so going on about how pool led to the ‘degeneration of society’ with things like ‘laziness and drinking’ which made her wonder why she’d never been before.
Selangor didn’t look too different from some of the other bars she’d been too-it was a bit rougher around the edges, with unfinished ceilings and dim lighting further obscured by smoke. It didn’t darken the excited gleam in her eyes one bit. Rangiku had been looking forward to this for weeks now, and while some part of her was screaming that getting further into Gin’s world was a very bad idea, she’d told that part to take a long walk off a short pier.
She hadn’t expected the warm reception when they’d walked in; it seemed like everyone wanted to talk to Gin. He hadn’t said a word to her, but she’d stuck close to him during the press as he maneuvered them out of it. The customers seemed both enthusiastic and wary when they approached, so Gin had been able to cut them off while steering her to the bar without any problems. Rangiku hadn’t said a word of protest, just watched with a wide, cheerful look while she calculated everything. She’d wanted to see him interact with these men, these men who obviously knew him, but there were also things she didn’t want to know, for both their sakes.
She’d wait until later. After Gin had played a few games and they had a few drinks, he’d start to relax. She could find out more then. He may have thought she was just here for a lesson, but it was in more than just pool.
Rangiku took a sip of her corn and leaned against the pool table he’d picked out, watching him as he talked to the players a table over. She felt curious and hungry eyes on her, but ignored it. Ran’d taken a page from her copper friends’ notebook and had marked all the exits when she came in, and if she was confident in anything over the years it was her ability to take care of herself. She was ignoring that tiny voice which insisted she was safe because she was with Gin. It had grown louder and louder since their… dinner on Valentine’s Day, since he’d made every gesture like he was planning to stick around, and she couldn’t trust it.
She smiled at him when he made his way back over to the table and watched with interest as he set up the game.
“Sure,” she said, picking up one of the long wooden sticks and eyeing the narrow end critically before glancing up at him. “Kinda popular here, ain’tcha?” she asked with a grin.
"Popular? Hn. Guess I just know the people 'ere - or at least, they seem ta know me. I don't come 'ere very often so I tend ta get swarmed when I do pay this place a visit." He picked up one of the cue sticks off the rack; he preferred the ones with fatter ends than the thin ones, but he had always been the kind to make powerful shots that rebounded off the walls.
Or perhaps it was just because people like to trap the white ball when it came to his turn every time.
"Alright, so." He shifted his hand lower down the cue stick. "Ya hold the fatter end of the stick with yer writin' hand wherever ya feel is comfortable, n' ya use yer other hand fer aim. There're a number of rules n' diff'rent people play by diff'rent rules, n' I guess the first n' most obvious one is that ya can only hit the white ball, so ya use the white ball ta get the other balls in. If you're the one startin' the game, which is called breakin', n' ya get the white ball into a hole, ya automatically lose. The black ball in the centre of the triangle - that's the ball ya get in last, so ya only have to worry about it durin' the game if it's in the way."
It was probably smarter that he broke - he almost always got a ball in every time he broke (and strangely enough, it was usually a striped ball, but maybe that had to do with the way he arranged them in the triangle), but at least it would have scattered the balls around the table.
But Ran wanted to learn how to play pool, and breaking the game with no particular aim in mind might help her get used to using the cue stick.
"Why don't you start?" Gin suggested, his grin widening a little. The rules were easy once two or three games were played, but you couldn't become a professional overnight. Even someone who played as much as Gin sometimes had trouble with straight shots. Handling the cue stick and controlling the power that went behind the white ball was one of those things that took some time to master, so it was probably better that Ran start at the beginning.
"Ya put yer free hand on the table, like this," Gin said while demonstrating. "Diff'rent people do diff'rent things; some people put the stick between the thumb n' index finger, but I like to put the stick between the index and middle fingers. At the start, ya just aim to hit the white ball with enough force so that it scatters the balls. Ya just bend over the table, try ta keep yer hands steady n' shoot straight."
Simple, right?
Rangiku tried to pay attention to the rules. But she had always learned better by watching and doing than by listening. All she managed to catch was that you can only hit the white ball, if you’re the first one to go and you get the white ball in the hole, you lose, and the black ball goes in last.
And Gin wanted her to start. Well, it didn’t sound too hard. She paid careful attention to the way that he positioned his hand on the table and tried not to be impressed at the smooth way the stick slid back and forth between his fingers. There was something vaguely engrossing about the movement.
“Right, so,” she moved over to the side of the table behind the white ball when he stopped. “You put your hand on the table,” she did, “and hold the broad end of the stick with one hand,” it felt awkward, “and bend down,” the necklace separated from her body when she did and twisted in the light. “The stick goes between your fingers,” she frowned. That felt really awkward. She bounced the narrow end between her index finger and her thumb and her middle finger and nothing felt right at all.
Her brow furrowed, but she wasn’t going to ask him for help. She kept sliding the wood between her fingers, trying to figure out what the hand was supposed to be doing in the first place, before settling on trying Gin’s position. She didn’t look up at him, Ran just focused on her hand, the stick, and finally, the ball.
All she had to do was hit the ball straight. With the stick. She could do that. Pushing the stick forward, Ran felt a sense of satisfaction as it clipped the right side of the white ball. That satisfaction turned into a sense of dismay as the white ball started spinning and wobbled off to the side. She watched as it rolled, slowly, agonizingly slowly, spinning in that awkward sideways rotation the whole way, straight into the left middle pocket. Rangiku blinked.
She stood up straight and stared at the table for a moment before turning to Gin. “Guess you win,” she laughed with a shrug.
Gin had to hold back his laughter as the white ball rolled into the hole and left the triangular formation of coloured balls untouched. He walked around to the end of the table, where the white ball took its time to roll out. Retrieving it, he placed it back where it was, on the spot on the straight line of the semi-circle.
"Don't worry about it," Gin said, bending over the table a bit to take his shot. He didn't remember ever doing that even when he took his first shot, but perhaps it had just been a fluke. Or maybe pool was just one of those things Gin happened to be good at.
The stick seemed to snap against the white ball, propelling it at the cluster of coloured balls. The formation was broken and the balls were dispersed, and even though Gin did not intend to sink any balls, one of the striped ones randomly rolled into the middle pocket.
Well... Maybe it would be a good time to explain the rest of the rules.
"Alright, so. I just sank a striped ball, which is the ones with the whites on the top and bottom - so for the rest of this game, I'll be aimin' ta get all the striped balls in, while ya have to get all the solids, or all the fully coloured balls in. N' normally, when ya sink a ball, ya get to go again. But yer here to learn, so, we'll just take turns."
There were a couple of straight shots that Ran could do - one to the solid purple into the left corner pocket, and the other to the solid orange to the far right corner pocket.
"Why don'tcha go fer the purple?" Gin suggested.
She was a little surprised that he didn’t laugh at her. Once upon a time, they would have been laughing together. ‘Course, she would’ve hit him for it and they weren’t exactly in a place where that would go over well. Ran could feel the attention of the men in the hall like an itch between her shoulders and she knew in her gut it was just as much for Gin’s sake as it was for hers. She ignored it and let Gin claim her attention. It wasn’t hard.
He made it look so easy. Rangiku tried to pay attention to his posture and his hands, but it didn’t seem like he was doing anything differently. It was just a lot… smoother and more casual.
And he got one of the striped balls in the hole without even looking like he was trying. Well, she knew he’d be better than he let on, it’s not like Gin would spend time doing something he didn’t enjoy.
Go for the purple one, huh? Ran eyeballed the table. The purple ball was close to the hole in the corner-maybe only five or six inches away. The white ball had landed near to the purple ball as well. She’d have to be really careful about how much force she put into her shot. “I guess I can try that.”
Ran moved to the side of the table opposite the white ball and bent over, placing her hand on the table, and this time she spread her fingers wide and curved them slightly upward. The stick felt as unfamiliar in her hands as before, but she figured she’d get better with practice. She gave it her best shot.
This time it was the stick which seemed to move too slowly, but it hit the white ball square in the center, propelling it lazily into the purple. It edged forward slowly, going just far enough to stop at the rim of the hole.
Well. Damn. Ran shoved herself up, away from the table, accidentally knocking her hand against the side of the table as she did. The force was just enough to knock the ball into the hole. She winced. “Umm. Opps?”
Well. At least she got the straight shot in. That was always a good place to start - and it was not like she sunk the white ball with the cue stick. Gin picked the cue ball up from the pocket and placed it back onto the centre of the line. Depending on who one played with, the rules differed from having to start on the centre spot, anywhere along the line or anywhere in the semi-circle. Gin traditionally liked to start in the centre spot, but perhaps that was just habit.
“So, ‘cause I’m aimin’ ta get all the striped balls in, when it’s my turn, the white ball has ta touch a striped ball first. I can’t aim ta hit yer balls or the black one.”
Explaining it first might help Ran understand more about the importance of where the white ball was with respect to all the other coloured balls. It was also why occasionally people had to resort to hitting the wall in an attempt to avoid the opponent’s ball and bounce it at their own, or do jump shots.
Gin wasn’t in the best of positions, but it was not a serious game anyway. He tapped the ball lightly and let it roll until it stopped for another straight shot for Ran, this time lining it with the solid green.
“Try fer the green now.”
The white ball had lined up about a forearm’s length from the green, and it was a straight, horizontal shot to a center pocket. The same pocket which had welcomed her first shot, and Rangiku hoped it would do the same as she glanced around the positions of the balls there. It was obvious that Gin had lined the shot up for her on purpose-he hadn’t even tried to get one of the striped balls in. She decided not to say anything about it.
He was teaching her, after all. He’d always done it this way.
She traced her free hand along the side of the table in an attempt to distract herself from how familiar this was as she moved into position to hit the ball. Along the way, her hand dipped suddenly into the table. Rangiku paused, blinking.
“Oh?” Slipping her hand into the pocket, she drew out a blue square of something wrapped in white paper. “What’s this?”
Rubbing her finger across the round indent in the middle of the square, she wasn’t too surprised to see it come away blue. What was chalk doing there?
“It’s a cube of blue chalk. See how the tip of yer stick is stained a lil’ blue? Ya rub the chalk on the tip of the cue stick if ya wanna make the ball spin.” It was not important at this stage - Gin himself rarely used it even now unless it was necessary.
“Ya don’t have ta worry ‘bout it yet. Ya won’t need it fer straight shots - or, well, most kinds of shots really.” In fact, making the ball spin while she was trying for a straight shot would probably not be very helpful or effective.
“Oh,” Rangiku said, frowning slightly. Too bad. She’d wanted to use it. But maybe she should concentrate on trying to actually shoot a straight shot first. It would be nice to actually-what had he called it-sink a ball. She put the chalk back, making a mental note to use it later.
Propping the stick between her fingers still felt weird. Rangiku wasn’t sure if she was doing this right at all. She’d tried to pay attention to the way Gin held it, but there was something so distracting about the movement of the stick before he took the shot, and he did it so fast…
She was right across the table from him and bending down put her at eyelevel of his, um, yes. Concentrate on the balls. The balls on the table. She had to get the ball in the-oh, oh damn.
Ran bit her lip to keep from laughing or saying something stupid. She took her shot instead. The sudden flush of nervous hilarity did not serve her well. The stick rebounded off the top corner of the white ball, sending it straight into the padded wall of the table where it rebounded back into the cluster of balls, knocking them into each other and sinking one of Gin’s striped balls into a corner pocket.
She straightened up and couldn’t quite meet Gin’s eyes, still trying not to laugh. “Maybe I shoulda used that chalk after all.”
Gin wasn't at all distracted - oh no. Definitely not. He was completely focused on the game, and on the position of the coloured balls with respect to the white one.
"Yeah - ya gotta work on that - hittin' the white ball in the centre." Hitting it on the sides will send it off on an angle spinning, hitting it at the bottom might make it jump and hitting it on the top would not make it roll too far.
Something about the way Ran was doing it all made it seem... Weird. Or perhaps awkward. Pool should come naturally and you should feel comfortable with it, but Ran... maybe she was overthinking it?
He took his own shot, tapping the ball lightly so that it was in a clear space. Ran could take multiple shots from there - two straight shots and one not-quite-straight shot, where she would have to hit the ball at a bit of an angle.
"Here; I'll help ya wit' the next one," he suggested, going around behind Ran. This would be a little bit awkward, but hopefully it would improve her gameplaying.
He placed his hand over hers, on the cue stick, and he bent over her a bit to place his other hand on the table. His fingers were curled a bit, muscles tense, and he rested the stick between his index and middle fingers.
"Ya have yer hand on the table like this," he said, sliding the stick back and forth a bit. "Yer shootin' arm has to be relaxed and yer hand used ta aim has to be more stiff."
He looked down at her, even though all he could really see was long locks of orange hair. "Ya gotta relax," he said. He could feel that she was a bit tense up at the shoulders, but that might have been more to do with the fact that he was leaning flush against her back.
Pulling the stick back, he pushed it forward gently and tapped the white ball gently. It rolled a straight path, hitting the solid brown and sending it into the hole. The white ball stopped an inch short of the hole.
And that's how it's done.
Umm, OK. Ran hadn’t expected Gin’s help to be quite so hands-on, but she supposed it made a certain amount of sense. This way she could get the feel of how it was supposed to go. There weren’t many men she’d let get so close to her this way, but Gin was in a category all his own and she didn’t even think of protesting when he came behind her and wrapped his warm hand over hers.
He bent her down over the table and placed his hand in front of her to prop up the cue stick, bringing his chest directly against her back. Gin was talking and she tried to concentrate on his words, but her attention was captured by the firm heat at her back.
She felt… small. Covered in him. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She could feel the pulse at her neck throbbing in a sudden increase in tempo.
Ran remembered the last time he had been this close. They had been standing in her kitchen and she had been sure he was going to leave. She’d turned her back so she wouldn’t have to see it, so he couldn’t see her face, and instead he’d come up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
She’d tried not to think about it, about how safe and right she had felt in his arms. She tried not to think about how the air between them had changed and how, for a moment, there was more than just space between them. But he was so warm against her, Rangiku couldn’t help but remember, and her stomach tightened in response to his nearness.
And he wanted her to relax?
It’s Gin. Snap out of it.
The stick slid back and forth through his fingers and she felt the reverberation of the impact against the white ball when he hit it perfectly, not at all impaired by the fact that he was pulling her along with him when he took the shot.
Ran watched as the brown ball rolled into the hole and the white ball stopped an inch short. She turned her head, twisting in his arms as she did so to provide a little space between them. Her eyes widened involuntarily at just how close his face was to hers. “Nice shot!”
Still smiling at him, she slid a foot to the side and straightened up, stepping out his arms. It wasn’t fair, how tingly and aware his presence had made her in such a short time. Despite everything the back of her mind was screaming for her to do, Rangiku couldn’t bring herself to step any further away. Their arms were close, almost touching, and the near contact was maddening.
Worse, she’d been so distracted by his nearness that if he’d imparted any words of wisdom, she’d completely missed it. Ran would cheerfully throttle him before she let him find that out. She’d just got him back. This was the last thing they needed, and he probably wouldn’t be interested anyway. But he made it hard to remember that when he stood so close.
“Well, s’not that hard. Ya just gotta aim properly n’ control how hard ya hit the white ball,” Gin said, smiling. Pool was for him like darts was for Ran, perhaps - it was something they were naturally better at, but it was also something that they got better at over time.
It was his turn again, and he eyed the table thoughtfully, placing his hand over the end of the cue stick and resting his chin on it. He was naturally formulating ways he could sink his own striped balls, and trying to think of sinking the solids was not helpful either. He had to move the white ball to a good spot for Ran to try another straight shot - but he also didn’t want it to come off as going easy on her. Sure; she had defeated him fair and square at darts, but he wasn’t learning how to play that time.
Alright - he would sink one of his own balls in and leave the white one in an advantageous position for Ran. The best way to do it was to aim for the two striped balls in a row.
Leaning over the table, he took a clean shot, sending the white ball into the row at an angle. It tapped against the first striped ball and stopped, and the momentum carried through to the second striped ball, sending it off into the corner pocket.
Now Ran could take a few shots from here - she just had to be careful not to touch his striped ball.
“Yer turn.”
Ran wrinkled her nose at him, trying to maintain the easy atmosphere between them. She’d been right. He obviously wasn’t interested, hell, he wasn’t even affected. She just wished that there was no coiling sense of disappointment wrapping around her relief.
She watched him take his shot, admittedly more distracted by his smiling face and more focused on boxing in her… completely ridiculous impressions than she was paying attention to how he held his hands.
“Sure. Easy. Just aim properly and control how hard you hit the ball.” Ran laughed at him and walked around him to get a better view of the table. “Easier said than done, maybe.”
The white ball was kissing one of the striped ones, but she still had a couple of options-the most appealing one being that orange ball which hadn’t moved from its position a few feet away from the corner pocket. Sure, it was on the opposite side of the table, and there were a few balls between her and it, but if she bounced it off the other side of the table just right… And that would work out too, because she’d have to shoot the cue ball away from the striped one.
She circled around the table once more to find the right spot. Leaning down practically parallel to the table, Rangiku set up her shot. She slid the stick back and forth between her fingers a few times before letting go. It hit the white ball right where it was supposed to, sending it on its angled journey, but the side of the stick also clipped the striped ball, causing it to rotate towards the center of the table.
The cue ball hit right off the table and knocked into the orange, rebounding backwards as the orange sank perfectly into the corner pocket. Rangiku was too busy staring at the striped ball with indignation to see it.
“I don’t know how that happened. I thought I’d lined it up straight.” She flicked her gaze up to Gin. “Am I holding the stick wrong? It feels weird when I put it between my fingers.”
It was a great shot - Gin found angle shots particularly difficult when he was picking pool up, just because his angles were always too wide or too narrow and sent the ball rebounding at a different path than he intended it to. So for Ran to have done that; it was good. He’d like to think that she was learning, and that it wasn’t a fluke shot.
“You’re not holdin’ the stick wrong,” Gin said. There were only so many ways one could hold the stick, and in reality it was fine to hold the stick in any way you liked so long as it felt comfortable and right.
“Yer aimin’ hand’s still kinda loose, but s’more ‘bout the shootin’. Ya have ta line the stick up with the path n’ shoot straight, aimin’ ta hit the centre of the white ball.”
It was odd, saying all this - Gin mostly went by feel, and he rarely analysed how it worked.
“It’s yer turn - ya sank yer ball,” Gin said, forgetting for a moment they were taking turns.
Her turn again? “Well, all right.” Ran bit her lip and surveyed the table. There weren’t really any more solid balls on the same side as the white…and on the rebound the white ball had managed to nestle itself against the wall. Just great. It looked like her best bet would be to either try to shoot another angle or… well, she wasn’t really sure what she should do.
“So I need to tighten up the aiming hand…” she spoke under her breath as she leaned forward on the table again. Tighten her aiming hand? What did that even mean? “And hit it in the center…”
Well, obviously not now but in general that sounded like good advice. She tilted her head to lift her gaze to Gin and give him a slightly lost look. That was the closest she’d get to asking for help.
Gin wondered if Ran actually understood anything he said, or if his rambling explanations were completely useless. She seemed to be doing the same either way, and he settled on the latter. Pool really was one of those games where you just had to learn as you go along, and get a lot better with more practice and more frequent playing.
Instinctively, he walked behind and leaned over her, attempting to help her again. It was almost exactly the same as before, only this time, the cue ball was in a rather difficult position.
And this time, Gin actually realised what he was doing and the kinds of looks they were getting from everyone around them. He never actually had to do this before; and, of all people, it just... had to be Ran...
He had never been so close to her, and even though he was holding his weight back, his body was pressed flush against hers. She could probably even feel his increased heart rate and his sudden nervousness.
What was worse - all the heat went straight from his body down to his groin, and he cringed. Ran was not like that - at least, Gin thought Ran had never considered him more than just a close friend - and she would probably be disgusted at even the thought of it.
He hesitated - things had only just started after nearly 20 years, and he didn't want to ruin it. Not now - not again, and he would not let it be his fault again. But this reaction - it wasn't his fault... He never really... a woman...
He bit down on his bottom lip, and looked at the thick tresses of Ran's orange hair from the corner of his gaze before he steadied his hands.
"This... this hand... the one on the table... it uh... Ya gotta curve ya fingers, like this..."
Was he breathing hard? Oh God - his breaths felt more laboured than they usually were. Did she notice? Was she noticing? He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"And uh... yer stick... sits 'tween yer fingers, n' it's gotta feel... comfortable..."
Why did he feel as if everything he said was dirty and had those kinds of innuendos?
Did it just get really hot in here or what.
Rangiku was mildly gratified when he came over to help her-and irritated at herself for it. Being happy that he still responded to that look was getting close to where she really couldn’t afford to let herself go.
She forced herself not to think about the way it felt, being covered with him again. The way his hand wrapped around hers on the cue stick didn’t really help with that, and neither did the way his other hand slid over her aiming hand to spread her fingers.
All things considered, though, she was doing pretty well until he spoke. His voice was strangely hesitant and… something about it… she found herself fighting down a blush. She was glad he couldn’t see her face.
Don’t be stupid, Ran.
She moved to get a better view, shifting up and back and her eyes widened. That was not disinterest she felt hardening behind her. That was-from Gin? When he had just-and he was-and Gin?
Her body flushed and she suddenly became acutely aware of everywhere they touched and didn’t touch, from the pressure through their layers of clothing to the way his breath hit a patch of skin on her neck.
She shouldn’t be responding to him like this. Hell, he’d practically raised her. And then-well, then-didn’t matter-hadn’t he just done this and it certainly hadn’t affected him at all then and it was Gin for pity’s sake!
Rangiku desperately wished for a moment’s space so she could figure this out. But with him wrapped around her, that was the last thing she could have. Did she call him on it, tease him like she would tease one of her boys, hit him?
He was the most confusing man ever. Idiot. Idiot.
She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to force a moment of clarity into her thoughts. Why was she getting all flustered about this anyway? It’s far from the first time that she’d had to deal with something like this. Why did Gin have the ability to take something that normally would be so clear and turn it into a muddled mess?
Ignore it. It probably didn’t mean anything, anyway. Maybe it was her imagination?
“Okay,” she took a breath and tried to make her voice as light as possible. “Show me how you want me to do it.”
"Huh? Well, I don't want ya ta do it my way. I want ya ta find a way that suits ya. 'm only tryin' ta show ya how it works fer me."
That was always how Gin tried to teach Ran anything - to demonstrate by example, and to let her have a go at it until she found a way that suited her, until she was comfortable doing it by herself, until she didn't have to turn to look behind her and wait for the nod or grin of approval.
Trying to focus completely on pool was impossible - Ran was there; right there beneath him, and she was warm, and real, and everything was so wrong and yet so right all at the same time.
Gin's grip instinctively tightened over Ran's hand on the cue stick. It was real - this, was real.
This is real.
When he stopped fiddling with Ran's hand, he let the stick sit between her index and middle fingers.
"Does it feel good?"
As soon as he blurted it out, he choked on the air in his throat and started coughing.
That's not what I meant.
He sniffed and masked all that was going through his mind with his unreadable smile, just as he always did.
"Sorry. Choked. Uhm, anyway - if it feels wrong, ya gotta adjust yer hand until it feels right."
OK, now this was getting a bit ridiculous. First he kept fiddling with her fingers, making it impossible to ignore the warm calloused strength of his hand as he positioned hers just right. Then he tightened his grip on her other hand, sending a jolt of warmth up her arm and heightening her uncomfortable awareness of just how completely surrounded she was by him.
And now he’s asking her if the stick between her hands feels good?
Rangiku was starting to wonder if he was doing this on purpose. And if he was she was going to kill him. Because there was just no way that Gin of all people would ever think of her like that-
His sudden intake of breath followed by a coughing fit not only undermined her idea that he was doing this on purpose, but caused her to twist her head back and see if he was jake.
Not one of her better ideas, in all honesty. Of course he still had that smile on, and she couldn’t see his eyes, but she wasn’t used to being so close to him. Her gaze involuntarily dropped down to his lips as he spoke. Right. The way he moved his mouth when he spoke really shouldn’t have been all that fascinating. That’s what mouths do, form words, that’s what they’re for. That and eating. Biting. Licking…
She suddenly felt the urge for a good stiff drink.
Failing that, coming up with some sort of response so she didn’t keep staring at him like some sap would be good. “Umm, all right.” Rangiku turned back to the table, accidentally brushing against him as she did, and her eyes widened.
Well, it appeared that she hadn’t lost any of his attention.
She bit the inside of her cheek and stared down at their hands still partially entwined on the table. Not seeing the position of the cue stick between her fingers, it was the way his hand rested on hers which caught her eye. Gin’s hand was so pale next to hers, it brought out the golden tones in her skin and under the smoke-dimmed light of the pool hall, his skin fairly gleamed. His breath still teased that spot on her neck.
Ran closed her eyes. Just take the shot. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
But he didn’t seem to hear her mental request, and Ran knew that she’d asked for it-she’d asked for him to teach her. She knew he’d take it seriously. It would be best to just learn as quickly as she could.
Opening her eyes, she forced herself to shove everything else aside, if just for long enough to ask, “How am I supposed to tell if it feels right? Just wiggle around?”
A heartbeat passed and what she said echoed in her ears. Oh. She tensed. Oh, damn.
Funny, how his smile managed to fool everyone, except maybe Mister Aizen. Even Ran, whom he had known since they were both little, found it hard to see what was beneath his smile sometimes. Gin had always thought it was effective - that he had perfected it, that no one could read him.
But then, Mister Aizen came along, and that...
”You smile even though you are pained and sad. Doesn’t that make it hurt more?”
Gin’s expression grew a little more solemn. Even now, he was living a lie. He had taken a step out of his line of work and abandoned his ensanguined, dangerous world to spend time with Ran. He had never lied with Ran, back when they were kids. He sacrificed much for her, for that innocent smile on her face, to hear her laughter resonate in the dark, dirty alleyway, and to watch her sleep in his lap and make sure she would wake up safe in his arms.
And yet, now, he was holding her at arm’s length, not wanting her to come any closer. He...
Gin Ichimaru did not want her to see him for who he really was. When they were children, when Mister Aizen was not always in the picture, he could still play and run freely with her. He was aware of his taste for blood even back in those days, but he had always kept it in check, collared, chained and locked away deep in the recesses of his mind. He had never been dangerous - he was a kitchen knife, sharp, willing and able to cut, sitting in the block of wood with no owner, with no one willing to pick him up and use him.
Perhaps that was really why he ran away from her. A part of him knew that he would be walking a violent, bloody, filthy path of lies, deceit, betrayal, false smiles and false hopes, and he wanted to keep Ran away from it.
He wanted to keep Ran away from him - from the bloodthirsty wolf inside that Mister Aizen had set free. Waking from its deep slumber, it opened one eye lazily, and then the other, stifling a yawn and stretching.
Gin would wake up some days, hyperventilating, sweating, hair, skin and clothes stained in blood. There would be a body torn apart beyond recognition before him, and he could not even remember how he got there in the first place because he had taken a couple of shots of dope before. And it scared him sometimes.
He scared himself.
Despite his efforts to protect Ran, here she was, beneath him, trying to learn pool. She was trying to find the Gin she had lost almost twenty years ago, the Gin who left her behind in the alleyway, the Gin who took care of her to the best of his abilities.
But he wasn’t that Gin anymore.
He took a small step back, and then another, slipping his hands into his pockets and sighing quietly. Things had been going so well until he started thinking about everything. Why did he agree to play pool with her in the first place? Why did he let things get to where they were now?
He smiled, a wide, innocent, child-like smile, masking the pain that was dancing so evidently in his eyes.
“I dunnoe, Ran. I guess it jus’... kinda happens. S’just like darts - when ya feel yer aimin’ at the right place. When ya know that ya can close yer eyes and feel secure about hittin’ it - that’s when it feels right.”
She didn’t turn around to look at him when he stepped away. She didn’t want to see the false smile she could hear in his light tone. She didn’t want to wonder at what that smile hid. And she absolutely refused to feel cold.
She closed her eyes, and slid the cue stick back and forth between her fingers.
And when it felt right, Ran opened her eyes and took her shot. The crack of the stick against the ball sounded unnaturally loud in the silence between them, and cue ball shot down the table.
It missed the solid she’d been aiming for by a hair and bounced off the wall, the angle driving it into two striped balls which scattered them across the table.
“I think I see what you mean. Guess I just need practice.” Still not looking at him, Ran stepped away from the pool table towards her abandoned drink. She picked it up and drained the glass in one shot.
She closed her eyes and tried to collect herself. Wasn’t this space what she’d wanted? Why did she feel like… she’d lost him again.
Characters: Gin Ichiamaru (lcpdragonslayer), Rangiku Matsumoto (some_scribbles)
Timeline: February 22nd, 1950
Rating: PG-13 (because pool is a dirty, dirty game)
Summary: Gin is a good teacher and Rangiku discovers the evils of a pool hall first hand.
Gin wondered if this was the first time Ran had been to Selangor. It was a small place - roughly the same size as the Black Sheep, even though it appeared more cramped and cluttered because of the pool tables off to the side, just outside the bathrooms. The bar was on the other side of the pub, as was the darts, stage and dinner areas. On the side with the pool tables were the jukebox and a few high tables and chairs. It was a Wednesday night, and weekdays were usually less crowded. People like Gin though - the kind of people who frequented this place - they had nothing close to normal working hours, and Gin must have known about 4 out of 5 of the patrons. In fact, he was swarmed for the first few minutes, just talking to people and steering his conversations away from his work with Ran hanging around him. The last thing he wanted for her to know was about the botched drugs trade last week or the status of the people the Concavos wanted dead.
When Gin and Ran had finally gotten their alone time, they got their drinks and headed over to the pool tables. A light bulb hanging overhead each table illuminated the otherwise dim corner of the pub, and it was easy to see that one of the three pool tables was being used. Gin knew the players on the other table - they even waved him over, teased him about Ran and asked him to join in their game.
“Maybe ‘nother time.”
“Gonna play with your girlfriend?”
“She ain’t my girlfriend, bo.”
“You’ve got good taste. Your babe has nice... a nice chest...”
“Keep lookin’ n’ I jus’ might drill ya in the fuckin’ noodle.”
“Hey - I was only joking! And you say she isn't your girlfriend... Tch. Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it.”
This was exactly why Gin insisted on picking her up - leaving her alone with these sorts of people around in this kind of place was... dangerous, to say the least. He crouched down the end of one of the vacant tables and started taking out all the coloured balls, placing them on the velvet green tabletop before fishing out the wooden triangle.
Setting the triangle over a little mark on the table, Gin arranged all the coloured balls inside, alternating the striped ones with the solids or completely coloured balls, rolling them around a bit before lifting the triangle and sliding it back down into the pocket.
He walked around to the other end of the pool table and placed the white ball on the small black ‘x’.
“We ready, Ran?”
She’d stared around at the inside of Selangor like some rube. It was her first time in a pool hall, after all, and there was always some hoity-toity so-and-so going on about how pool led to the ‘degeneration of society’ with things like ‘laziness and drinking’ which made her wonder why she’d never been before.
Selangor didn’t look too different from some of the other bars she’d been too-it was a bit rougher around the edges, with unfinished ceilings and dim lighting further obscured by smoke. It didn’t darken the excited gleam in her eyes one bit. Rangiku had been looking forward to this for weeks now, and while some part of her was screaming that getting further into Gin’s world was a very bad idea, she’d told that part to take a long walk off a short pier.
She hadn’t expected the warm reception when they’d walked in; it seemed like everyone wanted to talk to Gin. He hadn’t said a word to her, but she’d stuck close to him during the press as he maneuvered them out of it. The customers seemed both enthusiastic and wary when they approached, so Gin had been able to cut them off while steering her to the bar without any problems. Rangiku hadn’t said a word of protest, just watched with a wide, cheerful look while she calculated everything. She’d wanted to see him interact with these men, these men who obviously knew him, but there were also things she didn’t want to know, for both their sakes.
She’d wait until later. After Gin had played a few games and they had a few drinks, he’d start to relax. She could find out more then. He may have thought she was just here for a lesson, but it was in more than just pool.
Rangiku took a sip of her corn and leaned against the pool table he’d picked out, watching him as he talked to the players a table over. She felt curious and hungry eyes on her, but ignored it. Ran’d taken a page from her copper friends’ notebook and had marked all the exits when she came in, and if she was confident in anything over the years it was her ability to take care of herself. She was ignoring that tiny voice which insisted she was safe because she was with Gin. It had grown louder and louder since their… dinner on Valentine’s Day, since he’d made every gesture like he was planning to stick around, and she couldn’t trust it.
She smiled at him when he made his way back over to the table and watched with interest as he set up the game.
“Sure,” she said, picking up one of the long wooden sticks and eyeing the narrow end critically before glancing up at him. “Kinda popular here, ain’tcha?” she asked with a grin.
"Popular? Hn. Guess I just know the people 'ere - or at least, they seem ta know me. I don't come 'ere very often so I tend ta get swarmed when I do pay this place a visit." He picked up one of the cue sticks off the rack; he preferred the ones with fatter ends than the thin ones, but he had always been the kind to make powerful shots that rebounded off the walls.
Or perhaps it was just because people like to trap the white ball when it came to his turn every time.
"Alright, so." He shifted his hand lower down the cue stick. "Ya hold the fatter end of the stick with yer writin' hand wherever ya feel is comfortable, n' ya use yer other hand fer aim. There're a number of rules n' diff'rent people play by diff'rent rules, n' I guess the first n' most obvious one is that ya can only hit the white ball, so ya use the white ball ta get the other balls in. If you're the one startin' the game, which is called breakin', n' ya get the white ball into a hole, ya automatically lose. The black ball in the centre of the triangle - that's the ball ya get in last, so ya only have to worry about it durin' the game if it's in the way."
It was probably smarter that he broke - he almost always got a ball in every time he broke (and strangely enough, it was usually a striped ball, but maybe that had to do with the way he arranged them in the triangle), but at least it would have scattered the balls around the table.
But Ran wanted to learn how to play pool, and breaking the game with no particular aim in mind might help her get used to using the cue stick.
"Why don't you start?" Gin suggested, his grin widening a little. The rules were easy once two or three games were played, but you couldn't become a professional overnight. Even someone who played as much as Gin sometimes had trouble with straight shots. Handling the cue stick and controlling the power that went behind the white ball was one of those things that took some time to master, so it was probably better that Ran start at the beginning.
"Ya put yer free hand on the table, like this," Gin said while demonstrating. "Diff'rent people do diff'rent things; some people put the stick between the thumb n' index finger, but I like to put the stick between the index and middle fingers. At the start, ya just aim to hit the white ball with enough force so that it scatters the balls. Ya just bend over the table, try ta keep yer hands steady n' shoot straight."
Simple, right?
Rangiku tried to pay attention to the rules. But she had always learned better by watching and doing than by listening. All she managed to catch was that you can only hit the white ball, if you’re the first one to go and you get the white ball in the hole, you lose, and the black ball goes in last.
And Gin wanted her to start. Well, it didn’t sound too hard. She paid careful attention to the way that he positioned his hand on the table and tried not to be impressed at the smooth way the stick slid back and forth between his fingers. There was something vaguely engrossing about the movement.
“Right, so,” she moved over to the side of the table behind the white ball when he stopped. “You put your hand on the table,” she did, “and hold the broad end of the stick with one hand,” it felt awkward, “and bend down,” the necklace separated from her body when she did and twisted in the light. “The stick goes between your fingers,” she frowned. That felt really awkward. She bounced the narrow end between her index finger and her thumb and her middle finger and nothing felt right at all.
Her brow furrowed, but she wasn’t going to ask him for help. She kept sliding the wood between her fingers, trying to figure out what the hand was supposed to be doing in the first place, before settling on trying Gin’s position. She didn’t look up at him, Ran just focused on her hand, the stick, and finally, the ball.
All she had to do was hit the ball straight. With the stick. She could do that. Pushing the stick forward, Ran felt a sense of satisfaction as it clipped the right side of the white ball. That satisfaction turned into a sense of dismay as the white ball started spinning and wobbled off to the side. She watched as it rolled, slowly, agonizingly slowly, spinning in that awkward sideways rotation the whole way, straight into the left middle pocket. Rangiku blinked.
She stood up straight and stared at the table for a moment before turning to Gin. “Guess you win,” she laughed with a shrug.
Gin had to hold back his laughter as the white ball rolled into the hole and left the triangular formation of coloured balls untouched. He walked around to the end of the table, where the white ball took its time to roll out. Retrieving it, he placed it back where it was, on the spot on the straight line of the semi-circle.
"Don't worry about it," Gin said, bending over the table a bit to take his shot. He didn't remember ever doing that even when he took his first shot, but perhaps it had just been a fluke. Or maybe pool was just one of those things Gin happened to be good at.
The stick seemed to snap against the white ball, propelling it at the cluster of coloured balls. The formation was broken and the balls were dispersed, and even though Gin did not intend to sink any balls, one of the striped ones randomly rolled into the middle pocket.
Well... Maybe it would be a good time to explain the rest of the rules.
"Alright, so. I just sank a striped ball, which is the ones with the whites on the top and bottom - so for the rest of this game, I'll be aimin' ta get all the striped balls in, while ya have to get all the solids, or all the fully coloured balls in. N' normally, when ya sink a ball, ya get to go again. But yer here to learn, so, we'll just take turns."
There were a couple of straight shots that Ran could do - one to the solid purple into the left corner pocket, and the other to the solid orange to the far right corner pocket.
"Why don'tcha go fer the purple?" Gin suggested.
She was a little surprised that he didn’t laugh at her. Once upon a time, they would have been laughing together. ‘Course, she would’ve hit him for it and they weren’t exactly in a place where that would go over well. Ran could feel the attention of the men in the hall like an itch between her shoulders and she knew in her gut it was just as much for Gin’s sake as it was for hers. She ignored it and let Gin claim her attention. It wasn’t hard.
He made it look so easy. Rangiku tried to pay attention to his posture and his hands, but it didn’t seem like he was doing anything differently. It was just a lot… smoother and more casual.
And he got one of the striped balls in the hole without even looking like he was trying. Well, she knew he’d be better than he let on, it’s not like Gin would spend time doing something he didn’t enjoy.
Go for the purple one, huh? Ran eyeballed the table. The purple ball was close to the hole in the corner-maybe only five or six inches away. The white ball had landed near to the purple ball as well. She’d have to be really careful about how much force she put into her shot. “I guess I can try that.”
Ran moved to the side of the table opposite the white ball and bent over, placing her hand on the table, and this time she spread her fingers wide and curved them slightly upward. The stick felt as unfamiliar in her hands as before, but she figured she’d get better with practice. She gave it her best shot.
This time it was the stick which seemed to move too slowly, but it hit the white ball square in the center, propelling it lazily into the purple. It edged forward slowly, going just far enough to stop at the rim of the hole.
Well. Damn. Ran shoved herself up, away from the table, accidentally knocking her hand against the side of the table as she did. The force was just enough to knock the ball into the hole. She winced. “Umm. Opps?”
Well. At least she got the straight shot in. That was always a good place to start - and it was not like she sunk the white ball with the cue stick. Gin picked the cue ball up from the pocket and placed it back onto the centre of the line. Depending on who one played with, the rules differed from having to start on the centre spot, anywhere along the line or anywhere in the semi-circle. Gin traditionally liked to start in the centre spot, but perhaps that was just habit.
“So, ‘cause I’m aimin’ ta get all the striped balls in, when it’s my turn, the white ball has ta touch a striped ball first. I can’t aim ta hit yer balls or the black one.”
Explaining it first might help Ran understand more about the importance of where the white ball was with respect to all the other coloured balls. It was also why occasionally people had to resort to hitting the wall in an attempt to avoid the opponent’s ball and bounce it at their own, or do jump shots.
Gin wasn’t in the best of positions, but it was not a serious game anyway. He tapped the ball lightly and let it roll until it stopped for another straight shot for Ran, this time lining it with the solid green.
“Try fer the green now.”
The white ball had lined up about a forearm’s length from the green, and it was a straight, horizontal shot to a center pocket. The same pocket which had welcomed her first shot, and Rangiku hoped it would do the same as she glanced around the positions of the balls there. It was obvious that Gin had lined the shot up for her on purpose-he hadn’t even tried to get one of the striped balls in. She decided not to say anything about it.
He was teaching her, after all. He’d always done it this way.
She traced her free hand along the side of the table in an attempt to distract herself from how familiar this was as she moved into position to hit the ball. Along the way, her hand dipped suddenly into the table. Rangiku paused, blinking.
“Oh?” Slipping her hand into the pocket, she drew out a blue square of something wrapped in white paper. “What’s this?”
Rubbing her finger across the round indent in the middle of the square, she wasn’t too surprised to see it come away blue. What was chalk doing there?
“It’s a cube of blue chalk. See how the tip of yer stick is stained a lil’ blue? Ya rub the chalk on the tip of the cue stick if ya wanna make the ball spin.” It was not important at this stage - Gin himself rarely used it even now unless it was necessary.
“Ya don’t have ta worry ‘bout it yet. Ya won’t need it fer straight shots - or, well, most kinds of shots really.” In fact, making the ball spin while she was trying for a straight shot would probably not be very helpful or effective.
“Oh,” Rangiku said, frowning slightly. Too bad. She’d wanted to use it. But maybe she should concentrate on trying to actually shoot a straight shot first. It would be nice to actually-what had he called it-sink a ball. She put the chalk back, making a mental note to use it later.
Propping the stick between her fingers still felt weird. Rangiku wasn’t sure if she was doing this right at all. She’d tried to pay attention to the way Gin held it, but there was something so distracting about the movement of the stick before he took the shot, and he did it so fast…
She was right across the table from him and bending down put her at eyelevel of his, um, yes. Concentrate on the balls. The balls on the table. She had to get the ball in the-oh, oh damn.
Ran bit her lip to keep from laughing or saying something stupid. She took her shot instead. The sudden flush of nervous hilarity did not serve her well. The stick rebounded off the top corner of the white ball, sending it straight into the padded wall of the table where it rebounded back into the cluster of balls, knocking them into each other and sinking one of Gin’s striped balls into a corner pocket.
She straightened up and couldn’t quite meet Gin’s eyes, still trying not to laugh. “Maybe I shoulda used that chalk after all.”
Gin wasn't at all distracted - oh no. Definitely not. He was completely focused on the game, and on the position of the coloured balls with respect to the white one.
"Yeah - ya gotta work on that - hittin' the white ball in the centre." Hitting it on the sides will send it off on an angle spinning, hitting it at the bottom might make it jump and hitting it on the top would not make it roll too far.
Something about the way Ran was doing it all made it seem... Weird. Or perhaps awkward. Pool should come naturally and you should feel comfortable with it, but Ran... maybe she was overthinking it?
He took his own shot, tapping the ball lightly so that it was in a clear space. Ran could take multiple shots from there - two straight shots and one not-quite-straight shot, where she would have to hit the ball at a bit of an angle.
"Here; I'll help ya wit' the next one," he suggested, going around behind Ran. This would be a little bit awkward, but hopefully it would improve her gameplaying.
He placed his hand over hers, on the cue stick, and he bent over her a bit to place his other hand on the table. His fingers were curled a bit, muscles tense, and he rested the stick between his index and middle fingers.
"Ya have yer hand on the table like this," he said, sliding the stick back and forth a bit. "Yer shootin' arm has to be relaxed and yer hand used ta aim has to be more stiff."
He looked down at her, even though all he could really see was long locks of orange hair. "Ya gotta relax," he said. He could feel that she was a bit tense up at the shoulders, but that might have been more to do with the fact that he was leaning flush against her back.
Pulling the stick back, he pushed it forward gently and tapped the white ball gently. It rolled a straight path, hitting the solid brown and sending it into the hole. The white ball stopped an inch short of the hole.
And that's how it's done.
Umm, OK. Ran hadn’t expected Gin’s help to be quite so hands-on, but she supposed it made a certain amount of sense. This way she could get the feel of how it was supposed to go. There weren’t many men she’d let get so close to her this way, but Gin was in a category all his own and she didn’t even think of protesting when he came behind her and wrapped his warm hand over hers.
He bent her down over the table and placed his hand in front of her to prop up the cue stick, bringing his chest directly against her back. Gin was talking and she tried to concentrate on his words, but her attention was captured by the firm heat at her back.
She felt… small. Covered in him. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She could feel the pulse at her neck throbbing in a sudden increase in tempo.
Ran remembered the last time he had been this close. They had been standing in her kitchen and she had been sure he was going to leave. She’d turned her back so she wouldn’t have to see it, so he couldn’t see her face, and instead he’d come up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
She’d tried not to think about it, about how safe and right she had felt in his arms. She tried not to think about how the air between them had changed and how, for a moment, there was more than just space between them. But he was so warm against her, Rangiku couldn’t help but remember, and her stomach tightened in response to his nearness.
And he wanted her to relax?
It’s Gin. Snap out of it.
The stick slid back and forth through his fingers and she felt the reverberation of the impact against the white ball when he hit it perfectly, not at all impaired by the fact that he was pulling her along with him when he took the shot.
Ran watched as the brown ball rolled into the hole and the white ball stopped an inch short. She turned her head, twisting in his arms as she did so to provide a little space between them. Her eyes widened involuntarily at just how close his face was to hers. “Nice shot!”
Still smiling at him, she slid a foot to the side and straightened up, stepping out his arms. It wasn’t fair, how tingly and aware his presence had made her in such a short time. Despite everything the back of her mind was screaming for her to do, Rangiku couldn’t bring herself to step any further away. Their arms were close, almost touching, and the near contact was maddening.
Worse, she’d been so distracted by his nearness that if he’d imparted any words of wisdom, she’d completely missed it. Ran would cheerfully throttle him before she let him find that out. She’d just got him back. This was the last thing they needed, and he probably wouldn’t be interested anyway. But he made it hard to remember that when he stood so close.
“Well, s’not that hard. Ya just gotta aim properly n’ control how hard ya hit the white ball,” Gin said, smiling. Pool was for him like darts was for Ran, perhaps - it was something they were naturally better at, but it was also something that they got better at over time.
It was his turn again, and he eyed the table thoughtfully, placing his hand over the end of the cue stick and resting his chin on it. He was naturally formulating ways he could sink his own striped balls, and trying to think of sinking the solids was not helpful either. He had to move the white ball to a good spot for Ran to try another straight shot - but he also didn’t want it to come off as going easy on her. Sure; she had defeated him fair and square at darts, but he wasn’t learning how to play that time.
Alright - he would sink one of his own balls in and leave the white one in an advantageous position for Ran. The best way to do it was to aim for the two striped balls in a row.
Leaning over the table, he took a clean shot, sending the white ball into the row at an angle. It tapped against the first striped ball and stopped, and the momentum carried through to the second striped ball, sending it off into the corner pocket.
Now Ran could take a few shots from here - she just had to be careful not to touch his striped ball.
“Yer turn.”
Ran wrinkled her nose at him, trying to maintain the easy atmosphere between them. She’d been right. He obviously wasn’t interested, hell, he wasn’t even affected. She just wished that there was no coiling sense of disappointment wrapping around her relief.
She watched him take his shot, admittedly more distracted by his smiling face and more focused on boxing in her… completely ridiculous impressions than she was paying attention to how he held his hands.
“Sure. Easy. Just aim properly and control how hard you hit the ball.” Ran laughed at him and walked around him to get a better view of the table. “Easier said than done, maybe.”
The white ball was kissing one of the striped ones, but she still had a couple of options-the most appealing one being that orange ball which hadn’t moved from its position a few feet away from the corner pocket. Sure, it was on the opposite side of the table, and there were a few balls between her and it, but if she bounced it off the other side of the table just right… And that would work out too, because she’d have to shoot the cue ball away from the striped one.
She circled around the table once more to find the right spot. Leaning down practically parallel to the table, Rangiku set up her shot. She slid the stick back and forth between her fingers a few times before letting go. It hit the white ball right where it was supposed to, sending it on its angled journey, but the side of the stick also clipped the striped ball, causing it to rotate towards the center of the table.
The cue ball hit right off the table and knocked into the orange, rebounding backwards as the orange sank perfectly into the corner pocket. Rangiku was too busy staring at the striped ball with indignation to see it.
“I don’t know how that happened. I thought I’d lined it up straight.” She flicked her gaze up to Gin. “Am I holding the stick wrong? It feels weird when I put it between my fingers.”
It was a great shot - Gin found angle shots particularly difficult when he was picking pool up, just because his angles were always too wide or too narrow and sent the ball rebounding at a different path than he intended it to. So for Ran to have done that; it was good. He’d like to think that she was learning, and that it wasn’t a fluke shot.
“You’re not holdin’ the stick wrong,” Gin said. There were only so many ways one could hold the stick, and in reality it was fine to hold the stick in any way you liked so long as it felt comfortable and right.
“Yer aimin’ hand’s still kinda loose, but s’more ‘bout the shootin’. Ya have ta line the stick up with the path n’ shoot straight, aimin’ ta hit the centre of the white ball.”
It was odd, saying all this - Gin mostly went by feel, and he rarely analysed how it worked.
“It’s yer turn - ya sank yer ball,” Gin said, forgetting for a moment they were taking turns.
Her turn again? “Well, all right.” Ran bit her lip and surveyed the table. There weren’t really any more solid balls on the same side as the white…and on the rebound the white ball had managed to nestle itself against the wall. Just great. It looked like her best bet would be to either try to shoot another angle or… well, she wasn’t really sure what she should do.
“So I need to tighten up the aiming hand…” she spoke under her breath as she leaned forward on the table again. Tighten her aiming hand? What did that even mean? “And hit it in the center…”
Well, obviously not now but in general that sounded like good advice. She tilted her head to lift her gaze to Gin and give him a slightly lost look. That was the closest she’d get to asking for help.
Gin wondered if Ran actually understood anything he said, or if his rambling explanations were completely useless. She seemed to be doing the same either way, and he settled on the latter. Pool really was one of those games where you just had to learn as you go along, and get a lot better with more practice and more frequent playing.
Instinctively, he walked behind and leaned over her, attempting to help her again. It was almost exactly the same as before, only this time, the cue ball was in a rather difficult position.
And this time, Gin actually realised what he was doing and the kinds of looks they were getting from everyone around them. He never actually had to do this before; and, of all people, it just... had to be Ran...
He had never been so close to her, and even though he was holding his weight back, his body was pressed flush against hers. She could probably even feel his increased heart rate and his sudden nervousness.
What was worse - all the heat went straight from his body down to his groin, and he cringed. Ran was not like that - at least, Gin thought Ran had never considered him more than just a close friend - and she would probably be disgusted at even the thought of it.
He hesitated - things had only just started after nearly 20 years, and he didn't want to ruin it. Not now - not again, and he would not let it be his fault again. But this reaction - it wasn't his fault... He never really... a woman...
He bit down on his bottom lip, and looked at the thick tresses of Ran's orange hair from the corner of his gaze before he steadied his hands.
"This... this hand... the one on the table... it uh... Ya gotta curve ya fingers, like this..."
Was he breathing hard? Oh God - his breaths felt more laboured than they usually were. Did she notice? Was she noticing? He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"And uh... yer stick... sits 'tween yer fingers, n' it's gotta feel... comfortable..."
Why did he feel as if everything he said was dirty and had those kinds of innuendos?
Did it just get really hot in here or what.
Rangiku was mildly gratified when he came over to help her-and irritated at herself for it. Being happy that he still responded to that look was getting close to where she really couldn’t afford to let herself go.
She forced herself not to think about the way it felt, being covered with him again. The way his hand wrapped around hers on the cue stick didn’t really help with that, and neither did the way his other hand slid over her aiming hand to spread her fingers.
All things considered, though, she was doing pretty well until he spoke. His voice was strangely hesitant and… something about it… she found herself fighting down a blush. She was glad he couldn’t see her face.
Don’t be stupid, Ran.
She moved to get a better view, shifting up and back and her eyes widened. That was not disinterest she felt hardening behind her. That was-from Gin? When he had just-and he was-and Gin?
Her body flushed and she suddenly became acutely aware of everywhere they touched and didn’t touch, from the pressure through their layers of clothing to the way his breath hit a patch of skin on her neck.
She shouldn’t be responding to him like this. Hell, he’d practically raised her. And then-well, then-didn’t matter-hadn’t he just done this and it certainly hadn’t affected him at all then and it was Gin for pity’s sake!
Rangiku desperately wished for a moment’s space so she could figure this out. But with him wrapped around her, that was the last thing she could have. Did she call him on it, tease him like she would tease one of her boys, hit him?
He was the most confusing man ever. Idiot. Idiot.
She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to force a moment of clarity into her thoughts. Why was she getting all flustered about this anyway? It’s far from the first time that she’d had to deal with something like this. Why did Gin have the ability to take something that normally would be so clear and turn it into a muddled mess?
Ignore it. It probably didn’t mean anything, anyway. Maybe it was her imagination?
“Okay,” she took a breath and tried to make her voice as light as possible. “Show me how you want me to do it.”
"Huh? Well, I don't want ya ta do it my way. I want ya ta find a way that suits ya. 'm only tryin' ta show ya how it works fer me."
That was always how Gin tried to teach Ran anything - to demonstrate by example, and to let her have a go at it until she found a way that suited her, until she was comfortable doing it by herself, until she didn't have to turn to look behind her and wait for the nod or grin of approval.
Trying to focus completely on pool was impossible - Ran was there; right there beneath him, and she was warm, and real, and everything was so wrong and yet so right all at the same time.
Gin's grip instinctively tightened over Ran's hand on the cue stick. It was real - this, was real.
This is real.
When he stopped fiddling with Ran's hand, he let the stick sit between her index and middle fingers.
"Does it feel good?"
As soon as he blurted it out, he choked on the air in his throat and started coughing.
That's not what I meant.
He sniffed and masked all that was going through his mind with his unreadable smile, just as he always did.
"Sorry. Choked. Uhm, anyway - if it feels wrong, ya gotta adjust yer hand until it feels right."
OK, now this was getting a bit ridiculous. First he kept fiddling with her fingers, making it impossible to ignore the warm calloused strength of his hand as he positioned hers just right. Then he tightened his grip on her other hand, sending a jolt of warmth up her arm and heightening her uncomfortable awareness of just how completely surrounded she was by him.
And now he’s asking her if the stick between her hands feels good?
Rangiku was starting to wonder if he was doing this on purpose. And if he was she was going to kill him. Because there was just no way that Gin of all people would ever think of her like that-
His sudden intake of breath followed by a coughing fit not only undermined her idea that he was doing this on purpose, but caused her to twist her head back and see if he was jake.
Not one of her better ideas, in all honesty. Of course he still had that smile on, and she couldn’t see his eyes, but she wasn’t used to being so close to him. Her gaze involuntarily dropped down to his lips as he spoke. Right. The way he moved his mouth when he spoke really shouldn’t have been all that fascinating. That’s what mouths do, form words, that’s what they’re for. That and eating. Biting. Licking…
She suddenly felt the urge for a good stiff drink.
Failing that, coming up with some sort of response so she didn’t keep staring at him like some sap would be good. “Umm, all right.” Rangiku turned back to the table, accidentally brushing against him as she did, and her eyes widened.
Well, it appeared that she hadn’t lost any of his attention.
She bit the inside of her cheek and stared down at their hands still partially entwined on the table. Not seeing the position of the cue stick between her fingers, it was the way his hand rested on hers which caught her eye. Gin’s hand was so pale next to hers, it brought out the golden tones in her skin and under the smoke-dimmed light of the pool hall, his skin fairly gleamed. His breath still teased that spot on her neck.
Ran closed her eyes. Just take the shot. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.
But he didn’t seem to hear her mental request, and Ran knew that she’d asked for it-she’d asked for him to teach her. She knew he’d take it seriously. It would be best to just learn as quickly as she could.
Opening her eyes, she forced herself to shove everything else aside, if just for long enough to ask, “How am I supposed to tell if it feels right? Just wiggle around?”
A heartbeat passed and what she said echoed in her ears. Oh. She tensed. Oh, damn.
Funny, how his smile managed to fool everyone, except maybe Mister Aizen. Even Ran, whom he had known since they were both little, found it hard to see what was beneath his smile sometimes. Gin had always thought it was effective - that he had perfected it, that no one could read him.
But then, Mister Aizen came along, and that...
”You smile even though you are pained and sad. Doesn’t that make it hurt more?”
Gin’s expression grew a little more solemn. Even now, he was living a lie. He had taken a step out of his line of work and abandoned his ensanguined, dangerous world to spend time with Ran. He had never lied with Ran, back when they were kids. He sacrificed much for her, for that innocent smile on her face, to hear her laughter resonate in the dark, dirty alleyway, and to watch her sleep in his lap and make sure she would wake up safe in his arms.
And yet, now, he was holding her at arm’s length, not wanting her to come any closer. He...
Gin Ichimaru did not want her to see him for who he really was. When they were children, when Mister Aizen was not always in the picture, he could still play and run freely with her. He was aware of his taste for blood even back in those days, but he had always kept it in check, collared, chained and locked away deep in the recesses of his mind. He had never been dangerous - he was a kitchen knife, sharp, willing and able to cut, sitting in the block of wood with no owner, with no one willing to pick him up and use him.
Perhaps that was really why he ran away from her. A part of him knew that he would be walking a violent, bloody, filthy path of lies, deceit, betrayal, false smiles and false hopes, and he wanted to keep Ran away from it.
He wanted to keep Ran away from him - from the bloodthirsty wolf inside that Mister Aizen had set free. Waking from its deep slumber, it opened one eye lazily, and then the other, stifling a yawn and stretching.
Gin would wake up some days, hyperventilating, sweating, hair, skin and clothes stained in blood. There would be a body torn apart beyond recognition before him, and he could not even remember how he got there in the first place because he had taken a couple of shots of dope before. And it scared him sometimes.
He scared himself.
Despite his efforts to protect Ran, here she was, beneath him, trying to learn pool. She was trying to find the Gin she had lost almost twenty years ago, the Gin who left her behind in the alleyway, the Gin who took care of her to the best of his abilities.
But he wasn’t that Gin anymore.
He took a small step back, and then another, slipping his hands into his pockets and sighing quietly. Things had been going so well until he started thinking about everything. Why did he agree to play pool with her in the first place? Why did he let things get to where they were now?
He smiled, a wide, innocent, child-like smile, masking the pain that was dancing so evidently in his eyes.
“I dunnoe, Ran. I guess it jus’... kinda happens. S’just like darts - when ya feel yer aimin’ at the right place. When ya know that ya can close yer eyes and feel secure about hittin’ it - that’s when it feels right.”
She didn’t turn around to look at him when he stepped away. She didn’t want to see the false smile she could hear in his light tone. She didn’t want to wonder at what that smile hid. And she absolutely refused to feel cold.
She closed her eyes, and slid the cue stick back and forth between her fingers.
And when it felt right, Ran opened her eyes and took her shot. The crack of the stick against the ball sounded unnaturally loud in the silence between them, and cue ball shot down the table.
It missed the solid she’d been aiming for by a hair and bounced off the wall, the angle driving it into two striped balls which scattered them across the table.
“I think I see what you mean. Guess I just need practice.” Still not looking at him, Ran stepped away from the pool table towards her abandoned drink. She picked it up and drained the glass in one shot.
She closed her eyes and tried to collect herself. Wasn’t this space what she’d wanted? Why did she feel like… she’d lost him again.