epic realization
I realized this is the 5th year in a row i have misses a special person's birthday, 4 due to army, and the 5th cause i just suck at life. I realize i am a shitty friend.. The 4 shouldn't be a good excuse, cause it was I who ran away from my troubles, and thoughts. I hated being in Jonesboro cause I never gained anything, and never kept anything worth keeping. I was a coward, and still am. I have no clue what i am to do in life, jobs are hard to come by, and rent is just gay as are other bills. I admit I had it easy in the army, but Army isn't a way of life. It's High school all over again, except with worse consequences. Nothing has ever gone in my favor, and probably will never, so what's the point huh? Maybe the way to go is Marines this time, that way i won't have anything to lose. At least in the marines i can go out with a bang. Also i realize, being nice, has no advantages to it. I have been nice my whole life, i guess.. and have nothing to be proud for it except that i have a few friends.. like 4 or less i dunno but i know i can count it on a hand and a half. EPIC FAIL is what i have become.. and i have only myself to thank and blame for that.. so fair well and fuck you, self