To Center Stage [22/?]
Ryan slept for most of the day, though it wasn’t a solid sleep. Brendon could tell when he woke up because his breathing would change. Especially when he had nightmares. He was hoping Ryan would come to him when he had nightmares; it was part of the plan Brendon had created in his head. Ryan slept through dinner, but he told his parents that he wasn’t feeling very well and Brendon would order a pizza for the two of them later or go out and get something.
It was around 10 o’clock when his parents went to bed, calling a good night and love you down the stairs to both of them. Brendon saw Ryan cringe under his blanket and Brendon called back a sad love you and good night. Did Ryan not like his parents? Was he not happy here? Brendon didn’t bring many friends over but for those of them that he did, they all loved his parents. Well, they loved his mom, his dad wasn’t around much. Once the door was shut Brendon got off of his bed and walked over to Ryan, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ryan jumped back and pushed himself up into the corner.
“Ryan, it’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you,” Brendon said quietly. Ryan pulled the blanket down away from his face, but his breathing was still erratic. “I’m going to grab your hand okay?” Ryan nodded slowly. Brendon grabbed his hand and he tensed, but Brendon didn’t let go. After a few seconds his relaxed and his breathing started slowing down. “I was just going to ask you if you wanted to go get something to eat or we could stay here. We could go upstairs and order a pizza and watch a movie. My sister isn’t home so you don’t have to worry about her being a problem.”
“I’m sorry Brendon. I’m just having a hard time adjusting.” Brendon nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I had a nightmare, which I know the way I sleep so you probably already knew this.” Brendon chuckled quietly and nodded his head again. “I was back at my step parent’s house. They had convinced me that you guys really didn’t like me. That you just wanted to hurt me like everyone else in my life has. That once you were done with me you were just going to throw me out on the streets and I would have no place to go except back to them.” Ryan looked at Brendon who had a look of realization. “What?”
“Oh nothing,” Brendon looked down at Ryan’s hand in his own and gave a small squeeze, “my parents said good night and they loved us and you kind of cringed over here. I thought you didn’t like them back or something.”
“No it’s not that. But I’m just not use to it. It’ll take me awhile to believe any sort of emotions except hate and anger and depression and-“
“Ryan, don’t think of those. Just, get rid of them completely.”
“Brendon it’s not healthy to just forget an emotion. Then you take your other emotions out the wrong way. Everyone needs to cry at some point, everyone needs to get angry and some point. Everyone needs to be scared of taking the next step forward.”
“But Ryan, you’ve spent your whole life with those emotions on the forefront, you built up a defense of total rejection. You have good emotions, like happiness and excitement and enthusiasm. And love, you don’t know how much love you have from me and you need to see this Ryan. I would and will do absolutely everything to make sure you are safe at every point of the day.”
He stayed quiet before saying, “I think we should stay here. It’s kind of late isn’t it?”
“Yeah I guess it is.” Brendon got off of the bed and reached his hand down to Ryan. He grabbed it and let Brendon pull him off of the bed. They kept their hands together as they walked up the stairs, Brendon going ahead of Ryan. They walked into the living room, Brendon grabbing the cordless phone on the way in. Brendon took a seat on the couch and when Ryan went to go sit down, he grabbed him by the waist and he fell on Brendon’s lap.
“You can’t be comfortable with me sitting on your lap.” Ryan tried getting off, but Brendon gripped harder.
“Oh I am very comfortable.” Ryan smiled and relaxed into Brendon. He went into the phone’s address book and hit the dial button for the local pizza shop. He ordered a small cheese pizza and two bottles of sprite and hung up the phone. “So what movie would you like to watch?”
Ryan thought for a minute. “Do you have Forrest Gump? I haven’t seen that movie in forever. It always makes me cry and be inspired.” Brendon nodded his head but didn’t get up. “Want me to get it?” Brendon shook his head no. “Well, are you going to put the movie in by using your mind powers?” Ryan poked Brendon in the head and laughed.
“Let’s not move until the food comes. I’m comfortable as you already know.” Ryan nodded his head and relaxed as much as he could into Brendon and just let him hold him.
They sat like that for almost 20 minutes, which was amazing to Brendon because not only did he get to have Ryan all to himself, but that meant the pizza and soda was free. Except the tip. When the doorbell did ring, Brendon groaned and Ryan laughed. “I’ll get it don’t worry.” Ryan got up and kissed the top of Brendon’s head and walked out of the room. It was the first time Ryan had kissed anything on Brendon. And maybe Brendon was having a little squealing girl moment.
Ryan returned a few minutes later with the pizza and the bottles of soda. “Pizza guy was happy that you still gave him a tip even though it was late.”
“He’s probably happy that we gave a tip. My sister always orders pizza from them and never tips them.”
“Why is your sister so mean to everyone?” Ryan put the pizza box down on the coffee table alone with the bottles. Brendon got off of the couch and over to the stand with all of their DVDs were and pulled out Forrest Gump.
“I just think she believes the world is out to get her. She thinks everything is the worse. She doesn’t even know the first thing about a rough life. Everything has been handed to her. Now that she is getting older, my parents are hoping she’ll become independent. Ha, right. If they wanted that to happen they shouldn’t have spoiled her.” Brendon shook his head and popped the CD into the DVD player. He went back to the couch were Ryan was eating a piece of pizza and Brendon grabbed a slice himself. The main menu of the movie started and Brendon grabbed the remote and clicked play. Next to him Ryan shivered and Brendon got off the couch.
“Where are you going?” Ryan asked turning to watch Brendon leave. Brendon went down to his-their room and grabbed his blanket and ran back upstairs. When he went back into the living room Ryan smiled when he saw the blanket. Brendon grabbed the bottles of soda and put them on the table next to the couch and the pizza too. He lay down on the couch, with room for Ryan to lie down next to him. Ryan smiled and took his spot next to Brendon. When Ryan had settled he threw the blanket over the both of them and grabbed the pizza box from behind them and placed it on their laps.
They watched the movie, throwing in their own thoughts as it went along. Until the movie was almost over and Ryan spoke quietly. “The end of the movie always makes me so sad.”
“How come?” Brendon asked.
“I don’t think that it’s sad, I think it’s that it’s so brutally honest. I always think of the line Forrest says to Jenny when she asks if he was scared in Vietnam and he goes on to explain everything. I like when he says ‘And the desert when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where the heavens stopped and the earth began. It was so Beautiful.’. But what I always remember is when he’s talking at Jenny’s grave and he goes ‘Momma always said that death is a part of life, but I wish it wasn’t’.” and Ryan started crying. Ryan harder then Brendon could ever picture some one could. Brendon sat up and wrapped his arms around Ryan and let him cry on his shoulder.
“Ryan it’s okay.”
“I wish they didn’t leave me Brendon. I wish my parents never left me. I wish I had a family to call my own. Why did they abandon me? What did I do that was so wrong? I was a kid, I couldn’t understand anything, and I still can’t.”
“Ryan, they never left you. Sometimes you have to go through rough times to become a better and stronger person. You are the strongest person I’ve ever known. And you are a better person then I’ll ever be. I don’t deserve someone like you, but I’m blessed to have you.” Ryan didn’t say anything just continued to cry until Brendon thought he was going to dehydrate. When he was calm enough to get up, Brendon led him down stairs to their bedroom. Instead of Ryan going to his bed, he went to Brendon’s bed.
Brendon smiled and crawled under the blanket with Ryan. He wrapped his arm around Ryan’s waist and Ryan tucked his head in Brendon’s neck. “I don’t get why we even bothered buying another bed.” Brendon yawned as he closed his eyes.
“Why?” Ryan asked sleepily.
“Because I’m never leaving you.”
A/N: A little late, but it's all good I suppose. Christmas vacation is coming soon and I'll once again be away from all my friends so I'll be able to write a lot more. That is if my teachers decide to be easy on us. Knowing them there will be a million projects to I don't know. Anyways, I hope his turned out well. I had other plans but it just sort of fell this way.Comments = much love! :)
It was around 10 o’clock when his parents went to bed, calling a good night and love you down the stairs to both of them. Brendon saw Ryan cringe under his blanket and Brendon called back a sad love you and good night. Did Ryan not like his parents? Was he not happy here? Brendon didn’t bring many friends over but for those of them that he did, they all loved his parents. Well, they loved his mom, his dad wasn’t around much. Once the door was shut Brendon got off of his bed and walked over to Ryan, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ryan jumped back and pushed himself up into the corner.
“Ryan, it’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you,” Brendon said quietly. Ryan pulled the blanket down away from his face, but his breathing was still erratic. “I’m going to grab your hand okay?” Ryan nodded slowly. Brendon grabbed his hand and he tensed, but Brendon didn’t let go. After a few seconds his relaxed and his breathing started slowing down. “I was just going to ask you if you wanted to go get something to eat or we could stay here. We could go upstairs and order a pizza and watch a movie. My sister isn’t home so you don’t have to worry about her being a problem.”
“I’m sorry Brendon. I’m just having a hard time adjusting.” Brendon nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I had a nightmare, which I know the way I sleep so you probably already knew this.” Brendon chuckled quietly and nodded his head again. “I was back at my step parent’s house. They had convinced me that you guys really didn’t like me. That you just wanted to hurt me like everyone else in my life has. That once you were done with me you were just going to throw me out on the streets and I would have no place to go except back to them.” Ryan looked at Brendon who had a look of realization. “What?”
“Oh nothing,” Brendon looked down at Ryan’s hand in his own and gave a small squeeze, “my parents said good night and they loved us and you kind of cringed over here. I thought you didn’t like them back or something.”
“No it’s not that. But I’m just not use to it. It’ll take me awhile to believe any sort of emotions except hate and anger and depression and-“
“Ryan, don’t think of those. Just, get rid of them completely.”
“Brendon it’s not healthy to just forget an emotion. Then you take your other emotions out the wrong way. Everyone needs to cry at some point, everyone needs to get angry and some point. Everyone needs to be scared of taking the next step forward.”
“But Ryan, you’ve spent your whole life with those emotions on the forefront, you built up a defense of total rejection. You have good emotions, like happiness and excitement and enthusiasm. And love, you don’t know how much love you have from me and you need to see this Ryan. I would and will do absolutely everything to make sure you are safe at every point of the day.”
He stayed quiet before saying, “I think we should stay here. It’s kind of late isn’t it?”
“Yeah I guess it is.” Brendon got off of the bed and reached his hand down to Ryan. He grabbed it and let Brendon pull him off of the bed. They kept their hands together as they walked up the stairs, Brendon going ahead of Ryan. They walked into the living room, Brendon grabbing the cordless phone on the way in. Brendon took a seat on the couch and when Ryan went to go sit down, he grabbed him by the waist and he fell on Brendon’s lap.
“You can’t be comfortable with me sitting on your lap.” Ryan tried getting off, but Brendon gripped harder.
“Oh I am very comfortable.” Ryan smiled and relaxed into Brendon. He went into the phone’s address book and hit the dial button for the local pizza shop. He ordered a small cheese pizza and two bottles of sprite and hung up the phone. “So what movie would you like to watch?”
Ryan thought for a minute. “Do you have Forrest Gump? I haven’t seen that movie in forever. It always makes me cry and be inspired.” Brendon nodded his head but didn’t get up. “Want me to get it?” Brendon shook his head no. “Well, are you going to put the movie in by using your mind powers?” Ryan poked Brendon in the head and laughed.
“Let’s not move until the food comes. I’m comfortable as you already know.” Ryan nodded his head and relaxed as much as he could into Brendon and just let him hold him.
They sat like that for almost 20 minutes, which was amazing to Brendon because not only did he get to have Ryan all to himself, but that meant the pizza and soda was free. Except the tip. When the doorbell did ring, Brendon groaned and Ryan laughed. “I’ll get it don’t worry.” Ryan got up and kissed the top of Brendon’s head and walked out of the room. It was the first time Ryan had kissed anything on Brendon. And maybe Brendon was having a little squealing girl moment.
Ryan returned a few minutes later with the pizza and the bottles of soda. “Pizza guy was happy that you still gave him a tip even though it was late.”
“He’s probably happy that we gave a tip. My sister always orders pizza from them and never tips them.”
“Why is your sister so mean to everyone?” Ryan put the pizza box down on the coffee table alone with the bottles. Brendon got off of the couch and over to the stand with all of their DVDs were and pulled out Forrest Gump.
“I just think she believes the world is out to get her. She thinks everything is the worse. She doesn’t even know the first thing about a rough life. Everything has been handed to her. Now that she is getting older, my parents are hoping she’ll become independent. Ha, right. If they wanted that to happen they shouldn’t have spoiled her.” Brendon shook his head and popped the CD into the DVD player. He went back to the couch were Ryan was eating a piece of pizza and Brendon grabbed a slice himself. The main menu of the movie started and Brendon grabbed the remote and clicked play. Next to him Ryan shivered and Brendon got off the couch.
“Where are you going?” Ryan asked turning to watch Brendon leave. Brendon went down to his-their room and grabbed his blanket and ran back upstairs. When he went back into the living room Ryan smiled when he saw the blanket. Brendon grabbed the bottles of soda and put them on the table next to the couch and the pizza too. He lay down on the couch, with room for Ryan to lie down next to him. Ryan smiled and took his spot next to Brendon. When Ryan had settled he threw the blanket over the both of them and grabbed the pizza box from behind them and placed it on their laps.
They watched the movie, throwing in their own thoughts as it went along. Until the movie was almost over and Ryan spoke quietly. “The end of the movie always makes me so sad.”
“How come?” Brendon asked.
“I don’t think that it’s sad, I think it’s that it’s so brutally honest. I always think of the line Forrest says to Jenny when she asks if he was scared in Vietnam and he goes on to explain everything. I like when he says ‘And the desert when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where the heavens stopped and the earth began. It was so Beautiful.’. But what I always remember is when he’s talking at Jenny’s grave and he goes ‘Momma always said that death is a part of life, but I wish it wasn’t’.” and Ryan started crying. Ryan harder then Brendon could ever picture some one could. Brendon sat up and wrapped his arms around Ryan and let him cry on his shoulder.
“Ryan it’s okay.”
“I wish they didn’t leave me Brendon. I wish my parents never left me. I wish I had a family to call my own. Why did they abandon me? What did I do that was so wrong? I was a kid, I couldn’t understand anything, and I still can’t.”
“Ryan, they never left you. Sometimes you have to go through rough times to become a better and stronger person. You are the strongest person I’ve ever known. And you are a better person then I’ll ever be. I don’t deserve someone like you, but I’m blessed to have you.” Ryan didn’t say anything just continued to cry until Brendon thought he was going to dehydrate. When he was calm enough to get up, Brendon led him down stairs to their bedroom. Instead of Ryan going to his bed, he went to Brendon’s bed.
Brendon smiled and crawled under the blanket with Ryan. He wrapped his arm around Ryan’s waist and Ryan tucked his head in Brendon’s neck. “I don’t get why we even bothered buying another bed.” Brendon yawned as he closed his eyes.
“Why?” Ryan asked sleepily.
“Because I’m never leaving you.”
A/N: A little late, but it's all good I suppose. Christmas vacation is coming soon and I'll once again be away from all my friends so I'll be able to write a lot more. That is if my teachers decide to be easy on us. Knowing them there will be a million projects to I don't know. Anyways, I hope his turned out well. I had other plans but it just sort of fell this way.Comments = much love! :)