melodramatic but true
its an absolutely GORGEOUS day; everyone has the day off and i'm sitting at home by myself.
i swore to myself that moving to san francisco wouldn't make me become a different person, but now i'm realizing that i HAVE to become a different person, because who i was and the life that i had only four months ago doesn't exist anymore. absolutely nothing is the same, which leads me to think that i shouldn't be, either. i have to do something, i have to go out and meet people. i'm sick and tired of always being by myself. i've had all of four visitors and maybe ten telephone calls since i moved up here. i thought that this was kind of selfish at first, but then the past three times that i've been home, i've been ignored there as well. i'm surprised that a time gap of only an hour could strain friendships that are years old, but if that's the way its going to be, now, i'm ready and willing to leave all of that behind.
i'm not starting over because i want to; i'm starting over because i'm being FORCED to.
i'm over this livejournal thing, too. i wrote in it for myself, but even more for my friends so they could know what was going on and i could let them know things easily, without having to telephone or email everyone separately. maybe that's where the problem all started. but now i'm tired of letting people know how i am when they show no sign of caring in the first place. i wouldn't walk up to a stranger and tell them how my day went or how i was feeling; it seems pretty dumb to do the same thing over the internet.
the end.
i swore to myself that moving to san francisco wouldn't make me become a different person, but now i'm realizing that i HAVE to become a different person, because who i was and the life that i had only four months ago doesn't exist anymore. absolutely nothing is the same, which leads me to think that i shouldn't be, either. i have to do something, i have to go out and meet people. i'm sick and tired of always being by myself. i've had all of four visitors and maybe ten telephone calls since i moved up here. i thought that this was kind of selfish at first, but then the past three times that i've been home, i've been ignored there as well. i'm surprised that a time gap of only an hour could strain friendships that are years old, but if that's the way its going to be, now, i'm ready and willing to leave all of that behind.
i'm not starting over because i want to; i'm starting over because i'm being FORCED to.
i'm over this livejournal thing, too. i wrote in it for myself, but even more for my friends so they could know what was going on and i could let them know things easily, without having to telephone or email everyone separately. maybe that's where the problem all started. but now i'm tired of letting people know how i am when they show no sign of caring in the first place. i wouldn't walk up to a stranger and tell them how my day went or how i was feeling; it seems pretty dumb to do the same thing over the internet.
the end.