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[harbinger357]

So, I don't even feel like typing, to be honest. I just came back from some drinking at Emily and Dave's, and my hands are still recoiling from the bitter cold. It's a shame, too, and a general testament to the way I've been feeling, lately

Comments

[outoftouch]

You know Andrew, I'm sure lot of people in this world don't like me. I'm sarcastic, selfish, pessimistic, and I can look anyone in the eye and lie to them, whether it be my parents, friends, or a perfect stranger. Over the years I've become so good at keeping people at a distance, and controlling what people think about me I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I consider the average person, the average aquaintence a dime a dozen. I'm not sure I'll ever stop being that way.
There is a reason for it though, and that reason is simple. People are human, and therefore cannot ever be trusted. As my best friend, I need you to know that is how I truly feel. Its lonely all the time feeling like that. I don't like it, but its a defense mechanism I've created, and its a defense mechanism I'll always keep on.
You may have already known it, but I'm sorry you had to learn how badly another person can hurt you. Esspecially when I know you don't exactly take to many emotional gambles. Its sad, because ever since it happened to me, I've kept a part of myself just for me, that no one will ever touch. I've promised myself never to bet it all on someone, and I never will. Thats why I've whittled down my emotional connections to all my friends to about 2 or 3 people.
I'm not really even sure what I'm trying to say to you, because I think we are good enough friends that you already knew all of what I'm telling you without me actually having to tell you.
I'm sorry this Ally girl took it upon herself to wear your heart on her sleeve, and I'm sorry she lit up a neon sign to make sure people wouldn't miss it. Thats just the mark of a truly expendable human being. Its okay, karma is a bitch, and I'm sure she'll get cancer or an STD from her boyfriend or something later on in life.

Yes, I just wished cancer on you, as well as STD's. Bitch. Moan, tell your friends, but someday you will die a lonely death if thats how you continue to treat people. I don't know you, but just because I'm cold and refuse to pretend to be peoples friends, doesn't mean I'm a bad friend. You're not only a bad friend, but your also a bad person. A bad person who is too weak to deal with her problems on her own. I'm done with you.

It gets better Andrew, but a part of you will always remember. Thats all I got for you man. Hope I helped. You know where to find me.

Just breathe.