still kicking rocks
steadily my days are getting better, swiftly accompanied by my nights. the last few dreams haven't been too disturbing. progress.....mmm, i like it. yesterday was kind of weird though. i put up a status on facebook on wednesday that said "not in a happy place" and yesterday people started responding to it like i'd posted something super dramatic. i dont think that sounds all that bad, i was just upset and seriously not in a happy place. but when i had lunch with justin (the first person in a week that i've seen besides my family and steven) he kept looking at me like something was terribly wrong with me. i guess i deserve that. and sean smith sent me a message and so did anh. which is weird, dont hear much from sean or anh, i dont know either of them that well, only know anh through other people in high school and she just came out of the blue with "just wanted to see how you're holding up...take care." i sent her one back telling her what was going on and that i was ok, makes me wonder though if she thinks i was upset about something else, but if that was her reaction then whatever she knows that she thinks i know, i dont want to know. went to see pinapple express with my bro and steven, it was hilarious and this girl sitting two seats down from me must have been high as a kite because she was laughing a ridiculous amount and jumping up and down in her chair. she laughed so loud, i couldn't hear what they were saying half the time but i was laughing at her instead of the movie. i didn't think anyone else noticed until i looked over and everyone in our row was looking at her. funny ass movie though.
worked with the new guy michael for the first time today. he's pretty cool and really nice, called me a firecracker though, dont know if i've been called that before. so i threw a pen at him. *shrugs* i told him i was confrontational. the bet that everyone's placed on me at work got larger today. i'm glad everyone's making bets against my happiness, i can fake it for 20 bucks if i have to. travis was in the worst funk i've ever seen him in, made me think he's probably going through similar things since i heard he got denied a raise at work and his girlfriend was texting him like crazy. he was being mean to patrick so wendy said "travis do you need a hug" and he said "dont you come anywhere near me". hahaha i loved it, best mood i've ever seen travis in. i guess i dont like his perky peppy bossy moods. and i like it when people tell it like it is because they just dont give a fuck. and he totally did. i also got complimented on my tan :D. i must say it does look nice. i cant wait to see my friends on monday. like kintaro oi always said, the sky is darkest before the glorious sunrise, and my hazy, nasty depression is finally lifting. i'm glad, i'm tired of being so fucking sad. europe still hasn't left me yet, but the weight of everything doesn't feel so intense. still pulls at me, but its become bearable.
so i was going through an italian music site the other day and i came across a section on the songs by josh groban, though he does more english stuff. i'd heard his song "per te" before i'd begun to learn italian. so i listened to it again, knowing that it sounds pretty. lol. but knowing the words just makes it so much more intense and i really love the song. and i love italian. and i love italy. i love everything. so i wanted to share it but i didn't want to write out a translation on here so i found one on youtube that i really like. and i like it because there aren't pictures and it gives you the words as they come up. it reminds me of what my brain goes through as i hear the words. cause you're brain registers the meaning after you hear the word, so its still hearing something foreign but listening with an understanding. dont knock it, just give it a shot. experience something in italian. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWqvaOGAVIQ
i guess thats it for me. i finished breaking dawn, sad its over. halfway through with the watchman and company of a courtisan. i think im reading too much. i need a paycheck so i can go back to borders. books have taken over my life. i ordered my brother's birthday present today, btw. im so stoked. i think its more for me then for him, but i think he'll enjoy it and he loves hanging out with me, i'm the shit. :D
worked with the new guy michael for the first time today. he's pretty cool and really nice, called me a firecracker though, dont know if i've been called that before. so i threw a pen at him. *shrugs* i told him i was confrontational. the bet that everyone's placed on me at work got larger today. i'm glad everyone's making bets against my happiness, i can fake it for 20 bucks if i have to. travis was in the worst funk i've ever seen him in, made me think he's probably going through similar things since i heard he got denied a raise at work and his girlfriend was texting him like crazy. he was being mean to patrick so wendy said "travis do you need a hug" and he said "dont you come anywhere near me". hahaha i loved it, best mood i've ever seen travis in. i guess i dont like his perky peppy bossy moods. and i like it when people tell it like it is because they just dont give a fuck. and he totally did. i also got complimented on my tan :D. i must say it does look nice. i cant wait to see my friends on monday. like kintaro oi always said, the sky is darkest before the glorious sunrise, and my hazy, nasty depression is finally lifting. i'm glad, i'm tired of being so fucking sad. europe still hasn't left me yet, but the weight of everything doesn't feel so intense. still pulls at me, but its become bearable.
so i was going through an italian music site the other day and i came across a section on the songs by josh groban, though he does more english stuff. i'd heard his song "per te" before i'd begun to learn italian. so i listened to it again, knowing that it sounds pretty. lol. but knowing the words just makes it so much more intense and i really love the song. and i love italian. and i love italy. i love everything. so i wanted to share it but i didn't want to write out a translation on here so i found one on youtube that i really like. and i like it because there aren't pictures and it gives you the words as they come up. it reminds me of what my brain goes through as i hear the words. cause you're brain registers the meaning after you hear the word, so its still hearing something foreign but listening with an understanding. dont knock it, just give it a shot. experience something in italian. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWqvaOGAVIQ
i guess thats it for me. i finished breaking dawn, sad its over. halfway through with the watchman and company of a courtisan. i think im reading too much. i need a paycheck so i can go back to borders. books have taken over my life. i ordered my brother's birthday present today, btw. im so stoked. i think its more for me then for him, but i think he'll enjoy it and he loves hanging out with me, i'm the shit. :D