(no subject)
We've had to extend my stay here because my project didn't start til really late in the secondment ..
I don't know how I feel about that ..
One the one hand I have way to much pride in my work to give it on to someone else ..
and I'm still having a good time here ..
well sometimes .. sometimes I want to go and other times I want to stay .. these days it's mostly stay .. or go ..
Reasons to stay:
I love the freedom and the independance
I love work
I'm starting to find my feet and make friends outside work
I could potentially get myself a moped .. meaning I have a wider range of options
Reasons to go:
Because I miss all the comforts of home.
I miss everyone back home I miss the good weather
my friends my family my car .. you know :-) the usual
BUt the intensity to it all is just getting way too much ..
.. Often I find myself so stressed my stomach hurts ..
No one actually knows that .. but my stomach seriously hurts .. and the thought of food makes my ill. Today i'm going on half a pear and a coffee.. but I am so not hungry that i'm worried ..
It was the same yesterday ..
Work is hellishly busy and my experiments hate me :-(
Nothing seems to want to work.
It reminds me of first year honours ..
I think I repeats the same experiemtn 3 times before I got the post doc Mi Jung to shadow me .. it turns out I'd dilute my SYBR to 1 x THEN add it meaning the final reaction conc. was only 0.5x .. rather than diluting it IN the reacion TO a 1x.
I feel i'm doing something equally stupid now .. but I can't figure out what!
I hate when my work doesn't work. I feel like such a failure.
This is my 3rd repeat and I can't get the damn stupid real time to work. Real time hates me.
Another person is going to have to repeat this experiemtn .. or shadow me at least ..
And I'm running out of DNA so I might ned to re-extract ..
and i'm running out of time.
Even if I do get an extention .. ugh. It's all too much :-(
I wish I could forget i'm running out of time.
Anyway, so i'm off to Brussels for the weekend. I need to leave the country and re-enter .. customs requirement after 3 mths.
When an experiment fails you feel like your whole life is wasted .. man .. I take my work way too personally ..
but if I were at home .. I could chill out with the folks .. or go for a drive and everything becomes tomorrows problem. Here .. tomorrow comes way too quick and i'm running out of time!
I wish I could forget that I was running out of time .. *sigh*
I can't wait for the 6th .. I'm going to Paris :-)
Woo hoo! :-)
I'm going to see Amaury .. we're going to be in Paris together over the weekend .. and then i'm heading on over with them to Valence and I'll stay are theirs .. till the 15th and then back to Paris for a conference!! :-)
Hurray!! :-)
Then the conference finishes on the 19th and then I FLY HOME!!!!
HOME! :-)
Wow .. can you say excited! :-)
If I could just get over this snag of experiements ..
Hernan will repeat it tomorrow .. it's fine ..
I mean if worse omes to worse .. when I get back to Oz .. It'll become my project there .. and I'll email Steve all the data he needs ..
Anyway, i'm off home now since it's a quarter to 9 and I need to do washing :-)
I don't know how I feel about that ..
One the one hand I have way to much pride in my work to give it on to someone else ..
and I'm still having a good time here ..
well sometimes .. sometimes I want to go and other times I want to stay .. these days it's mostly stay .. or go ..
Reasons to stay:
I love the freedom and the independance
I love work
I'm starting to find my feet and make friends outside work
I could potentially get myself a moped .. meaning I have a wider range of options
Reasons to go:
Because I miss all the comforts of home.
I miss everyone back home I miss the good weather
my friends my family my car .. you know :-) the usual
BUt the intensity to it all is just getting way too much ..
.. Often I find myself so stressed my stomach hurts ..
No one actually knows that .. but my stomach seriously hurts .. and the thought of food makes my ill. Today i'm going on half a pear and a coffee.. but I am so not hungry that i'm worried ..
It was the same yesterday ..
Work is hellishly busy and my experiments hate me :-(
Nothing seems to want to work.
It reminds me of first year honours ..
I think I repeats the same experiemtn 3 times before I got the post doc Mi Jung to shadow me .. it turns out I'd dilute my SYBR to 1 x THEN add it meaning the final reaction conc. was only 0.5x .. rather than diluting it IN the reacion TO a 1x.
I feel i'm doing something equally stupid now .. but I can't figure out what!
I hate when my work doesn't work. I feel like such a failure.
This is my 3rd repeat and I can't get the damn stupid real time to work. Real time hates me.
Another person is going to have to repeat this experiemtn .. or shadow me at least ..
And I'm running out of DNA so I might ned to re-extract ..
and i'm running out of time.
Even if I do get an extention .. ugh. It's all too much :-(
I wish I could forget i'm running out of time.
Anyway, so i'm off to Brussels for the weekend. I need to leave the country and re-enter .. customs requirement after 3 mths.
When an experiment fails you feel like your whole life is wasted .. man .. I take my work way too personally ..
but if I were at home .. I could chill out with the folks .. or go for a drive and everything becomes tomorrows problem. Here .. tomorrow comes way too quick and i'm running out of time!
I wish I could forget that I was running out of time .. *sigh*
I can't wait for the 6th .. I'm going to Paris :-)
Woo hoo! :-)
I'm going to see Amaury .. we're going to be in Paris together over the weekend .. and then i'm heading on over with them to Valence and I'll stay are theirs .. till the 15th and then back to Paris for a conference!! :-)
Hurray!! :-)
Then the conference finishes on the 19th and then I FLY HOME!!!!
HOME! :-)
Wow .. can you say excited! :-)
If I could just get over this snag of experiements ..
Hernan will repeat it tomorrow .. it's fine ..
I mean if worse omes to worse .. when I get back to Oz .. It'll become my project there .. and I'll email Steve all the data he needs ..
Anyway, i'm off home now since it's a quarter to 9 and I need to do washing :-)