(no subject)
Some days... I really just want to splatter the fucking wall with my brain. I wish someone else would fucking do it already. People have threatened me. People have held the gun to my head. Someone needs to fucking pull the trigger. I'm sick of this mellow little po' fuck self of mine who thinks there is still a will to survive in his body. I need to accept it's just frusteration and anger all mixed together and adding up to love. I wish I could kill quite a few motherfuckers who've had it comming. I wish I could kill some motherfuckers out of spite. And if my mother doesn't stop asking me to do stupid ass shit for her that she knows I can't/don't want to do, I'm going to give her a fucking tongue lashing. The rain outside is making me think biblical shit. Plagues and jesus bashing. It's a hard realization to put your faith in a fate that has been nothing but unkind to you for the only thing that you honestly want. I keep seeing faces, and places, and times where shit wasn't going awry and it makes me feel hollow to know that, once again, I've fucked it up. Once again, I've got to sit around on a computer speaking of things that probably make no sense to anyone, sound like a suicide threat, and a psuedo emotional rant. No... There is a hell far better for me than that which I could send myself to. I'm living it...