every drop of a dime
everytime i look into your eyes i become overwhelmed with their surrealism. it's like looking at a car crash, and wondering how energy can create such indifference towards nature's normalcy. and as you drive by, you look, from your slight distance, and feel as if you were a part of it yourself. if you were a part of the beauty. the beautiful chaos that is not everyday life. i once was a part of it, myself. a car crash, that is. they say once you think to yourself, "i am going to die", that your life flashes before you and you change your whole outlook. i did not. thinking those words was very frightening, however. i just think i've always lived my life like i was going to die later on in the afternoon, or eating a sandwich, or in a nightmare, or even falling off a roller coaster a couple days later. i know that it is coming, one day, and so i want to jam-pack every moment i can before it. i think realizing this realization, yesterday, on a nice, breezy bike ride, with just the robins, made me realize just one more thing. and this new outlook will not and cannot remain within me much longer.