a motherless child
so what's the next step? how come some day's it's perfectly clear what i need to do, but other days the weight i feel becomes unbearable and i can no longer breathe. i woke up today and refused to open my eyes, refused to take in everything that was around me because i knew it would be the same as it was the day before and i just didn't want to go through it again. i need so desperately to implode this life i've carved for myself, and begin carving a new one. i also woke up today feeling a bit more out there then usual, i'm extra numb today...bleh. i was thinking about it earlier, about packing a bag and leaving for a week to go to my parents house and just get the hell away from here, but then i started to feel anxious when i started too, so i stopped and tried to do a collage, and then it dawned on me that all the art things that i do, that i feel are therapeutic are so mindless and silly that i can simply shut of my brain to do them, i'm an expert at just plain not feeling, and that scares me...
well, there it goes again, my train...ruptured...
why did i even bother???
well, there it goes again, my train...ruptured...
why did i even bother???